is cold approach dead now?

[Thebestthereeveris]

I used to do cold approach in college and tbh thats where i got laid the most and even though i got a lot of rejections i also got a lot of enthusiastic yes and did great. However due to life i stopped and relied solely on tinder and hinge. Ive had success with them but i feel like its not in my control as with cold approach i can express my personality and confidence more. But is it dead? I havent done it in 7 years lmao and my skills are probably rusty. I have a lot of gorgeous women in my gym who stare at me and i def want to pick them up but i havent done it in so long. Anyone immersed in dating have any idea if girls are just using dating apps or are they still open to being approached

 

[Velasco]

Are women even still open to meeting men the old-fashioned way anymore?

Yes, if it's done properly.

www.sosuave.net

 

[Robert28]

You have to have a microphone and a video camera with you and “pretend” you’re making TikTok videos of you want to talk to random women and seem “normal” these days.

 

[SW15]

Approaching strangers isn't dead but it is becoming somewhat less common. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity. There's still approaching in nightlife venues, but some of the approaching at nightlife venues has declined as more and more men decide to swipe on apps and/or send DMs on Instagram instead.

Plenty of men are participating in co-ed sports leagues with the hopes of getting their penises wet from some of the women in those leagues.

 

[Robert28]

Approaching strangers isn't dead but it is becoming somewhat less common. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity. There's still approaching in nightlife venues, but some of the approaching at nightlife venues has declined as more and more men decide to swipe on apps and/or send DMs on Instagram instead.

Plenty of men are participating in co-ed sports leagues with the hopes of getting their penises wet from some of the women in those leagues.

Those co-ed leagues are turning into sausage fests lol

 

[evan12]

I used to do cold approach in college and tbh thats where i got laid the most and even though i got a lot of rejections i also got a lot of enthusiastic yes and did great. However due to life i stopped and relied solely on tinder and hinge. Ive had success with them but i feel like its not in my control as with cold approach i can express my personality and confidence more. But is it dead? I havent done it in 7 years lmao and my skills are probably rusty. I have a lot of gorgeous women in my gym who stare at me and i def want to pick them up but i havent done it in so long. Anyone immersed in dating have any idea if girls are just using dating apps or are they still open to being approached

It is not dead, but these days women already have a lineup of men whether online or offline, however I found that they are always up to upgrade, if they are staring at you then go ahead, women these days don't look at men unless they want something.
to keep yourself safe, just strike a normal conversation that you would do with any person and see how will be the response.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Those co-ed leagues are turning into sausage fests lol

Pretty much any hobby gets turned into a sausage fest when the advice to use hobbies to meet women gets thrown around. Hobbies are full of single men with the same idea. The advice to look for women thru hobbies is a meme. For guys that can't do cold approach, such as myself, there aren't really any options to meet women irl.

 

[Gamisch]

I used to do cold approach in college and tbh thats where i got laid the most and even though i got a lot of rejections i also got a lot of enthusiastic yes and did great. However due to life i stopped and relied solely on tinder and hinge. Ive had success with them but i feel like its not in my control as with cold approach i can express my personality and confidence more. But is it dead? I havent done it in 7 years lmao and my skills are probably rusty. I have a lot of gorgeous women in my gym who stare at me and i def want to pick them up but i havent done it in so long. Anyone immersed in dating have any idea if girls are just using dating apps or are they still open to being approached

What you say feels like my story. The only thing different is that i also moved to a small town and got a child.

Lets not forget that you were younger/better looking, in an environment where there's an abundance of women ,and perhaps this took place before the uprising of OLD.


Still you (or I'd say WE to share your pain) are coping HARD. Cold approach is a basic human skill like pooping and breathing,womam dress nice, so we approach them ,thats nature .

Due to OLD you got spoiled and you might've lost that " edge" necessary to approach them. But YOU decide of " approach is dead". Might not be "college level " of spam approach, but rather a grown man way of doing it.

Pretty much any hobby gets turned into a sausage fest when the advice to use hobbies to meet women gets thrown around. Hobbies are full of single men with the same idea. The advice to look for women thru hobbies is a meme. For guys that can't do cold approach, such as myself, there aren't really any options to meet women irl.

You can write a post =you can communicate = you can do C approaches.

Another hazard of doing hobbies just for women is you might feminize yourself due to being surrounded by women who are all "friends". You could better take up a sausage fest but MANLY type of hobbie like (kick) boxing, get strong and buff, and when you are with some dudes from the gym having a drink you might pull some. Just 1 example, might as well be fishing.

The irony is also women are rather in a environment dominated by men.

 

[NealIRC]

I think the answer is no, but women almost always travel in groups. Sometimes at a street festival I could see a single girl with a couple. I have to find the right time where the single girl is a little separate from the group in order to hand her a flyer.

 

[SW15]

Those co-ed leagues are turning into sausage fests lol

Pretty much any hobby gets turned into a sausage fest when the advice to use hobbies to meet women gets thrown around. Hobbies are full of single men with the same idea. The advice to look for women thru hobbies is a meme.

@BergischerLöwe is generally correct about meeting women through hobbies. Meeting women through hobbies is one of those ideas that sounds really nice in theory, but often falls flat in practice. There are a lot of reasons why it falls flat. A lot of times, men will select hobbies that they think will have more females in them but the females in them aren't as receptive to his advances as he would like.

Over time, I have talked a lot about co-ed sports leagues because I have been one of the many men who has participated in co-ed sports leagues with the hope of getting my penis wet from participation in the league. While there are men that do achieve mating success in co-ed sports leagues, most men who do co-ed sports league to try to avoid swiping or pure cold approach end up disappointed in the co-ed sports league from a mating perspective.

Co-ed sports leagues are tough venues for most men due to bad ratios. In general, men are more interested in co-ed sports than women are.

Co-ed sports leagues can be considered a form of weak social circle game. They are not day game at all. It's not night game either although teams from a league will often congregate at a sponsor bar after that week's games. It’s pretty difficult to swoop into a co-ed kickball, softball, volleyball, or soccer league & directly arrange dates. First, there are more men than women in all these leagues. Nearly every other guy in these leagues is an unattached guy who is trying to get his penis wet in league because he read some advice article online or in a printed copy of a magazine about doing this. The only exceptions are the men who join teams with their girlfriends or wives. You can make friends in these leagues but chances are that the other men need sex as much as you do. If you’re able to develop a social circle from a co-ed sports league, realize it will take multiple seasons of participation in the league. So you’d better actually like that sport because playing that sport is often the only benefit of it.

Below is something that happened in a co-ed kickball league. In the 2005-2014 era, kickball got really popular. It became a bit of a trendy thing to do. Both young men and young women at that time were doing it, because it was trendy and both sexes were trying to get laid from doing it. Kickball is barely even a sport. It's a ridiculous activity to do with the hopes of finding a mate. Kickball has become a bit cliché in the past decade in bougie/yuppie circles.

https://deadspin.com/adult-kickball-team-email-please-dont-****-your-teamma-1564098194

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

I

What you say feels like my story. The only thing different is that i also moved to a small town and got a child.

Lets not forget that you were younger/better looking, in an environment where there's an abundance of women ,and perhaps this took place before the uprising of OLD.


Still you (or I'd say WE to share your pain) are coping HARD. Cold approach is a basic human skill like pooping and breathing,womam dress nice, so we approach them ,thats nature .

Due to OLD you got spoiled and you might've lost that " edge" necessary to approach them. But YOU decide of " approach is dead". Might not be "college level " of spam approach, but rather a grown man way of doing it.





You can write a post =you can communicate = you can do C approaches.

Another hazard of doing hobbies just for women is you might feminize yourself due to being surrounded by women who are all "friends". You could better take up a sausage fest but MANLY type of hobbie like (kick) boxing, get strong and buff, and when you are with some dudes from the gym having a drink you might pull some. Just 1 example, might as well be fishing.

The irony is also women are rather in a environment dominated by men.

I only see soy boys doing yoga classes to meet girls.

 

[SW15]

I only see soy boys doing yoga classes to meet girls.

Fewer men use fitness classes to meet women than I think would use them.

It doesn't matter the format of the class, nearly all class have very good male-female ratios. Females outnumber males in most fitness classes about 2 to 1. Occasionally, depending on the class and the day, the ratio gets closer to equal.

The biggest problem with many fitness classes are that the majority of female attendees are not very sociable either immediately before or immediately after class. This can vary based on the gym or fitness studio. At some venues, women barely socialize with each other so you wouldn't even see it as a good option for a woman to make female friends. There are men that find it frustrating to approach after classes and try to arrange dates. I have done this many times over the years. It's not easy despite the great ratios.

Yoga has a bit of a reputation for approaching and seduction, but it's far from the only format of class where this happens. Approaching happens in cycling (spin) classes, interval training style classes, kickboxing/boxing, or weightlifting classes.

There are a few obviously feminine class styles that wouldn't be good for approaching at all. Zumba, Pilates, and Barre types classes wouldn't be worth doing.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

@BergischerLöwe is generally correct about meeting women through hobbies. Meeting women through hobbies is one of those ideas that sounds really nice in theory, but often falls flat in practice. There are a lot of reasons why it falls flat. A lot of times, men will select hobbies that they think will have more females in them but the females in them aren't as receptive to his advances as he would like.

Over time, I have talked a lot about co-ed sports leagues because I have been one of the many men who has participated in co-ed sports leagues with the hope of getting my penis wet from participation in the league. While there are men that do achieve mating success in co-ed sports leagues, most men who do co-ed sports league to try to avoid swiping or pure cold approach end up disappointed in the co-ed sports league from a mating perspective.

Co-ed sports leagues are tough venues for most men due to bad ratios. In general, men are more interested in co-ed sports than women are.

Co-ed sports leagues can be considered a form of weak social circle game. They are not day game at all. It's not night game either although teams from a league will often congregate at a sponsor bar after that week's games. It’s pretty difficult to swoop into a co-ed kickball, softball, volleyball, or soccer league & directly arrange dates. First, there are more men than women in all these leagues. Nearly every other guy in these leagues is an unattached guy who is trying to get his penis wet in league because he read some advice article online or in a printed copy of a magazine about doing this. The only exceptions are the men who join teams with their girlfriends or wives. You can make friends in these leagues but chances are that the other men need sex as much as you do. If you’re able to develop a social circle from a co-ed sports league, realize it will take multiple seasons of participation in the league. So you’d better actually like that sport because playing that sport is often the only benefit of it.

Below is something that happened in a co-ed kickball league. In the 2005-2014 era, kickball got really popular. It became a bit of a trendy thing to do. Both young men and young women at that time were doing it, because it was trendy and both sexes were trying to get laid from doing it. Kickball is barely even a sport. It's a ridiculous activity to do with the hopes of finding a mate. Kickball has become a bit cliché in the past decade in bougie/yuppie circles.

https://deadspin.com/adult-kickball-team-email-please-dont-****-your-teamma-1564098194

Any time I've posted on other forums about my issues in the dating game the suggestion that I try meeting women thru hobbies has always come up. When this has happened I would usually point out the shortcomings about the prospect of meeting women thru hobbies and how it's hard to succeed trying to meet women like that. Every time I've pointed out this fact all the people would just gaslight me and tell me I was making "excuses" or something. Meeting women thru hobbies does sound good in theory but in practice it seems either the women aren't as receptive as guys think or already have boyfriends, or the group is a sausage fest full of single guys with the same idea. Sadly I'm starting to realize I'm pretty screwed as far as meeting women is concerned. I'm tired of the diminishing returns from apps, cold approach isn't viable or advisable for me to implement, I'm never in situations where I can meet women naturally, and if I tried meeting women thru hobbies I would run into the problems I just mentioned. What is there left for me to do?

 

[I_have_BDE]

It is not dead, but these days women already have a lineup of men whether online or offline, however I found that they are always up to upgrade, if they are staring at you then go ahead, women these days don't look at men unless they want something.
to keep yourself safe, just strike a normal conversation that you would do with any person and see how will be the response.

Most women on OLD are fat or ugly or damaged of some sort. If those are my only options I'd rather be single.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Not at all

People aren't used to it or used to doing it but with enough practice its pretty straightforward

The key is too just remain calm and have a general interest in the other person ,

The beauty with cold approach is that it forces the opposite party to match your effort

During an inperson conversation you have 100% of her attention there is literally no other way on earth for a man to get this level of attention in the modern era

 

[evan12]

Most women on OLD are fat or ugly or damaged of some sort. If those are my only options I'd rather be single.

Women (almost all women ) are using some sort of online technology for finding men , it could be POF or could be Facebook or insta , etc.
Saying all women who use online dating websites are bad, is just an excuse to some people who are failing.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Women (almost all women ) are using some sort of online technology for finding men CHAD, it could be POF or could be Facebook or insta , etc.
Saying all women who use online dating websites are bad, is just an excuse to some people who are failing.

Fixed that for you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm glad people moved to dating apps. Good riddance.

 

[SW15]

Approaching strangers isn't dead but it is becoming somewhat less common. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity. There's still approaching in nightlife venues, but some of the approaching at nightlife venues has declined as more and more men decide to swipe on apps and/or send DMs on Instagram instead.

Plenty of men are participating in co-ed sports leagues with the hopes of getting their penises wet from some of the women in those leagues.

Those co-ed leagues are turning into sausage fests lol

When was the last time you participated in one of those? Which sport?

Meeting women thru hobbies does sound good in theory but in practice it seems either the women aren't as receptive as guys think or already have boyfriends, or the group is a sausage fest full of single guys with the same idea.

One of the daygame tactics I have used over the years is to try to spend time in areas of my city where unmarried people tend to be. The idea with doing this is that the pool of people is supposed to be more available. After all, you're getting rid of all the married people with rings on their fingers. I'm here to say that while I think it is a good thing to focus on spending time in areas where unmarried people tend to congregate, it's effect is probably a bit not that drastic for most seducers.

This is because of 'The Boyfriend Problem'. In the article below, there's an estimate that 79% of unmarried women are in some sort of relationship at any given moment. This makes the work of any seducer more difficult.

Tactics Tuesdays: Boyfriend Destroyers

You meet a girl… but she mentions having a boyfriend. How do you sidestep her boyfriend mention and keep yourself seeming an eligible option for her too? Sometimes you'll approach a girl, hit it off, things go great, and then she brings up her boyfriend. Now, if you don't like dealing at all...

www.girlschase.com

I noticed 'The Boyfriend Problem' as far back as my freshman and sophomore years on a college campus. I wrote about 'The Boyfriend Problem' in the famous college sex thread on this forum....

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

Back to school season That's a good reason to bump this thread. Some regions aren't back to school until the Tuesday after Labor Day. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/08/14/back-to-school-dates-u-s/ At my college, I found gameday to be more of a nuisance than anything. TBH...

www.sosuave.net

Many men tend to notice the sausage fest issue in nightlife and on swipe apps quickly. This is why they start to pursue the hobby angle. I have written many times before about how co-ed sports leagues are filled with men who are looking for alternatives to random nights out at the bar and the swipe apps. Yoga classes have been infiltrated by men seeking some vagina, but most yoga classes will still be more women than men. It's not that bad in my experience with yoga, but my experience with yoga has been limited. I don't like yoga that much. I remember hearing about yoga classes as a sexual option back in 2005 when I first got out of college and had no experience with daygame. I did try a few yoga classes and was never impressed by them. I didn't like yoga itself and I found yoga women to be a bit odder than the women who did more interval training style classes.

 

[SW15]

I used to do cold approach in college and tbh thats where i got laid the most and even though i got a lot of rejections i also got a lot of enthusiastic yes and did great. However due to life i stopped and relied solely on tinder and hinge.

Approaching strangers for dates/sex is not a pleasant experience for most men. In certain times in the past, men had fewer options.

You are 27 and I am 40. We went to college in different eras in the mating environment. When I went to college (2001-2005), there were fewer tech-based options. Dating websites were just becoming de-stigmatized and most of the dating website users were post-college people anyway. MySpace and Facebook got big around my senior year and some guys were DMing for dates on those platforms in the early days of them, but it had yet to become a mainstream practice.

The reason why tech-based introductions became more popular is because Millennials didn't want to deal with the ordeal of approaching. I am an early Millennial, so I was near the forefront of this. Approaching is labor intensive. Millennials found the idea of sitting at home on a tech device and starting interactions to be more palatable to their desires. Gen Z has continued this.

is it dead?

Anyone immersed in dating have any idea if girls are just using dating apps or are they still open to being approached

It's not dead but it has been affected since I graduated college in 2005. Non-bar approaching has always been a niche activity and it is been slightly affected. The bigger change has been in nightlife venues. While men are still going to bars and doing approaches, the alternatives of sending DMs on Instagram and swiping on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge have reduced the number of men willing to fight it out late into the nights at bars with the slim hopes of getting their penises wet.