Is brunch a red flag?

[Barrister]

Is this a woman you are in an LTR with? If so, I could see HOW it MIGHT be a red flag depending on the company she has at this weekly brunch. But that depends.

If you are talking about a chick you are dating casually? No - it is not a red flag anymore then you liking to go get beers with your guy friends on a Saturday night is a red flag.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I live in a popular area for brunching, and it seems like the two common crowds I see are the Ratchet wannabe boogie women and hopeless romantic millennial girl with a dog at home. I do enjoy a brunch on occasion, but there's no way I could do it every sunday. It literally takes away your whole sunday because I always feel so sluggish and tired after it. If a woman is doing brunch every sunday then she has bad priorities and a lot of toxic friends.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm not going thru the effort of cooking for any female that I don't know well or have any awareness of her social habits.

Making a few omelettes doesn't qualify as 'cooking'.
Also, using 'female' for women shows the wrong mindset.

 

[Gamisch]

I live in a popular area for brunching, and it seems like the two common crowds I see are the Ratchet wannabe boogie women and hopeless romantic millennial girl with a dog at home. I do enjoy a brunch on occasion, but there's no way I could do it every sunday. It literally takes away your whole sunday because I always feel so sluggish and tired after it. If a woman is doing brunch every sunday then she has bad priorities and a lot of toxic friends.

This. Who the feck has time to go on a weekly brunch with the same people???

A brunch like this should be something she does lets say 3/4 times a year.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Who the feck has time to go on a weekly brunch with the same people???

Who has the time to go for drinks with the boys every Friday?

Women have often more frequent contact with their friends than men do. Something you just have to accept. They also tend to doubt themselves more and ask for more emotional support than women when they have to make decisions. A woman who sees her girlfriends once a week is quite the normal frequency and having all your friends together so you don't have to repeat yourself to 4 different people is like a zoom meeting with pastries.

When I grew up, the housewives would gather every other day at one of their houses and drink port and gossip. Every other day. And this was fifty years ago. No doubt they would've brunched every Sunday if they had been able to afford that.

 

[handle]

This thread is full of insane conclusions... A girl with a vibrant, independent social life is a green flag. Nothing worse than a girl who has no life outside the relationship.
Obviously if she gets wrecked every Sunday it might be an issue, but OP said nothing about that.

 

[Gamisch]

Who has the time to go for drinks with the boys every Friday?

Women have often more frequent contact with their friends than men do. Something you just have to accept. They also tend to doubt themselves more and ask for more emotional support than women when they have to make decisions. A woman who sees her girlfriends once a week is quite the normal frequency and having all your friends together so you don't have to repeat yourself to 4 different people is like a zoom meeting with pastries.

When I grew up, the housewives would gather every other day at one of their houses and drink port and gossip. Every other day. And this was fifty years ago. No doubt they would've brunched every Sunday if they had been able to afford that.

I don't. I might see the homies every now and then, but every friday?

If that would be the case i would definitely NOT be in a monogamous relationship with a woman who tries to build with me...

Would be quite embarrassing to let a good relationship die due to my need to see my friends every friday. (Mind you, i have several hobbies, I'm a father ,full time job).

Life is not a Friends episode. I've never even heard of a single woman older than 18 who went to see her friends every week.

 

[Gamisch]

This thread is full of insane conclusions... A girl with a vibrant, independent social life is a green flag. Nothing worse than a girl who has no life outside the relationship.
Obviously if she gets wrecked every Sunday it might be an issue, but OP said nothing about that.

There's no life and then there is being part of a cult like group of friends who demand a weekly gathering. If anything, her friends should be understanding that she met a "great guy" and wants to invest time in him before he's turned off and moves on.( I know I would if my homeboy finds a dime piece, I'd tell him to slow down on the friends interactions and make some time to build with his new flame)

I'd prefer her to be somewhat in between if given the choice. Like, see your friends every NOW AND THEN, definitely. But every week??

If the "vibrant "lifestyle jeopardizes our relationship its toxic and it might explain why no other man took her off the market yet.

Redflag imho...

 

[CornbreadFed]

Who has the time to go for drinks with the boys every Friday?

I don’t due to personal preferences, but I will argue that drinks with the boys on Friday is more manageable.

1). It is at the end of the day instead of the middle, so I can get things done and be productive beforehand. Brunch requires more energy and is smack in the middle of the day. Your only option is to get things done in the morning wish is less ideal.

2). Drinks with the boys is way more flexible and manageable. Going to a low key spot is much easier than going to some packed brunch spot with crappy parking in the hip part of town. In addition, I can limit myself to one or two drinks while brunch is committing to a heavy meal and more alcohol imho.

Again, I’m going off the flexibility argument alone. If drinks with the boys is get fvcked up hangover style every weekend then I’m not defending that.

 

[Dr.Suave]

A brunch like this should be something she does lets say 3/4 times a year.

Agree 100%

 

[member162951]

Is a girl who brunches weekly on Sundays a red flag?

I've read some posts here where a girl who goes out on Sunday mornings to catch up with her girlfriends should have a red flag attached, but it makes no sense.

If a man feels threatened by his chick brunching with friends once a week, then his frame is NOT where it should be. I mean it's not like she's out bar hopping, it's brunch.

A man with a healthy frame and a decent level of self-esteem would welcome her getting out of the house once in awhile, for the peace and quiet alone!

No disrespect but some of you guys are so damn needy, insecure and paranoid sometimes.

If you trust your girl which you should otherwise why be with her, let her have some fun with friends and you get to enjoy YOUR lone time.

Makes for a much happier and balanced relationship imo and experience.

Relationships are not prisons and our significant others are not our wardens. True for both men and women because women can be just as insecure and controlling too.

 

[member162951]

This thread is full of insane conclusions... A girl with a vibrant, independent social life is a green flag. Nothing worse than a girl who has no life outside the relationship.
Obviously if she gets wrecked every Sunday it might be an issue, but OP said nothing about that.

Amen...

 

[CornbreadFed]

If a man feels threatened by his chick brunching with friends once a week, then his frame is NOT where it should be. I mean it's not like she's out bar hopping, it's brunch.

I can easily say if a guy isn’t comfortable with his chick hanging out with guys or her exes then his frame isn’t strong. Frame isn’t going to protect you from the negative consequences of a toxic woman period.

 

[member162951]

Frame isn’t going to protect you from the negative consequences of a toxic woman period.

You missed my point. If he doesn't TRUST her and believes she's toxic and that there's even a slight chance her being with friends will have negative consequences, then he should NOT be dating her!

That's not having a strong frame, that's dating/being in a relationship with the wrong girl.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You missed my point. If he doesn't TRUST her and believes she's toxic and there's even a slight chance that her being with friends will have negative consequences, then he should NOT be dating her!

There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life. I am not arguing against dating a woman with a social life, I am against dating a woman with cemented priorities that don’t benefit a relationship at all. Brunch is fine a few times a year, but weekly brunching is a vice not a healthy habit.

 

[Bokanovsky]

There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life. I am not arguing against dating a woman with a social life, I am against dating a woman with cemented priorities that don’t benefit a relationship at all. Brunch is fine a few times a year, but weekly brunching is a vice not a healthy habit.

Agreed. Every woman I've ever dated who would have regular brunches with girlfriends turned out to be a nutjob.

 

[member162951]

There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life.

Like what? Just curious. Again, it's brunch. Sitting at a table with a few friends she hasn't seen all week, having a mimosa and eggs benedict lol.

It's not happy hour or clubbing surrounded by men.

Meanwhile you get to enjoy your lone time and/or watching sports with your friends.

I'm actually shocked by some of your attitudes about this, it sounds totally oppressive, suffocating and good luck holding your girl long term.

And then you wonder why your girl does leave.... SMH

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don't. I might see the homies every now and then, but every friday?

So you don't do that, but I bet you know that plenty of men do have drinks with their friends once a week.

If that would be the case i would definitely NOT be in a monogamous relationship with a woman who tries to build with me...
Would be quite embarrassing to let a good relationship die due to my need to see my friends every friday. (Mind you, i have several hobbies, I'm a father ,full time job).

I'm a divorced father to two teenagers. I see my friends every Sunday. Granted, we train Japanese swordsmanship together, but still, I make time to see my friends and combine it with training. And it's not just the training, but we pretty much have some downtime after training at our favourite spot.
I've been doing that since 1992 and all through my marriage. Never was a problem for my wife.

Life is not a Friends episode. I've never even heard of a single woman older than 18 who went to see her friends every week.

I guess you don't know many single women then. And please don't drag that pathetic sitcom into a conversation about friendship.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Like what? Just curious. Again it's brunch. Sitting at a table with a few friends she hasn't seen all week, having a mimosa and Eggs Benedict lol.

What type of people are fine with getting day drunk/full and ruining their whole Sunday every week? My gf has plenty of friends and she only brunches every so often. Usually dinner, lunch, or gym plans. Usually more drinking is involved in brunch and not lunch/dinner.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

1). It is at the end of the day instead of the middle, so I can get things done and be productive beforehand. Brunch requires more energy and is smack in the middle of the day. Your only option is to get things done in the morning wish is less ideal.

Sure, that's a solid argument for someone working a 9-5 office job.
My guess is that the women who do brunch often don't have 9-5 office jobs, but are more likely to be flexible in their time. For instance, for a SAHM, the busiest time is 7-9 to get the kids to school and load a machine with laundry. 9-15 is flexible time and after 15 she has to get groceries and plan dinner.
Now, most of the women I know don't go for Sunday brunches, they are more likely to work day jobs and have a glass of wine with some co-workers after work, but the idea that it's weird to see your friends every week is very much an individual decision. Some people see their friends every few days, others see their friends every few months. Some are friends with co-workers and see them every day.