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Is brunch a red flag?

Gamisch

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Who has the time to go for drinks with the boys every Friday?

Women have often more frequent contact with their friends than men do. Something you just have to accept. They also tend to doubt themselves more and ask for more emotional support than women when they have to make decisions. A woman who sees her girlfriends once a week is quite the normal frequency and having all your friends together so you don't have to repeat yourself to 4 different people is like a zoom meeting with pastries.

When I grew up, the housewives would gather every other day at one of their houses and drink port and gossip. Every other day. And this was fifty years ago. No doubt they would've brunched every Sunday if they had been able to afford that.
I don't. I might see the homies every now and then, but every friday?

If that would be the case i would definitely NOT be in a monogamous relationship with a woman who tries to build with me...

Would be quite embarrassing to let a good relationship die due to my need to see my friends every friday. (Mind you, i have several hobbies, I'm a father ,full time job).

Life is not a Friends episode. I've never even heard of a single woman older than 18 who went to see her friends every week.
 

Gamisch

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This thread is full of insane conclusions... A girl with a vibrant, independent social life is a green flag. Nothing worse than a girl who has no life outside the relationship.
Obviously if she gets wrecked every Sunday it might be an issue, but OP said nothing about that.
There's no life and then there is being part of a cult like group of friends who demand a weekly gathering. If anything, her friends should be understanding that she met a "great guy" and wants to invest time in him before he's turned off and moves on.( I know I would if my homeboy finds a dime piece, I'd tell him to slow down on the friends interactions and make some time to build with his new flame)

I'd prefer her to be somewhat in between if given the choice. Like, see your friends every NOW AND THEN, definitely. But every week??

If the "vibrant "lifestyle jeopardizes our relationship its toxic and it might explain why no other man took her off the market yet.

Redflag imho...
 

CornbreadFed

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Who has the time to go for drinks with the boys every Friday?
I don’t due to personal preferences, but I will argue that drinks with the boys on Friday is more manageable.

1). It is at the end of the day instead of the middle, so I can get things done and be productive beforehand. Brunch requires more energy and is smack in the middle of the day. Your only option is to get things done in the morning wish is less ideal.

2). Drinks with the boys is way more flexible and manageable. Going to a low key spot is much easier than going to some packed brunch spot with crappy parking in the hip part of town. In addition, I can limit myself to one or two drinks while brunch is committing to a heavy meal and more alcohol imho.

Again, I’m going off the flexibility argument alone. If drinks with the boys is get fvcked up hangover style every weekend then I’m not defending that.
 
M

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Is a girl who brunches weekly on Sundays a red flag?

I've read some posts here where a girl who goes out on Sunday mornings to catch up with her girlfriends should have a red flag attached, but it makes no sense.
If a man feels threatened by his chick brunching with friends once a week, then his frame is NOT where it should be. I mean it's not like she's out bar hopping, it's brunch.

A man with a healthy frame and a decent level of self-esteem would welcome her getting out of the house once in awhile, for the peace and quiet alone!

No disrespect but some of you guys are so damn needy, insecure and paranoid sometimes.

If you trust your girl which you should otherwise why be with her, let her have some fun with friends and you get to enjoy YOUR lone time.

Makes for a much happier and balanced relationship imo and experience.

Relationships are not prisons and our significant others are not our wardens. True for both men and women because women can be just as insecure and controlling too.
 
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If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

M

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This thread is full of insane conclusions... A girl with a vibrant, independent social life is a green flag. Nothing worse than a girl who has no life outside the relationship.
Obviously if she gets wrecked every Sunday it might be an issue, but OP said nothing about that.
Amen...
 

CornbreadFed

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If a man feels threatened by his chick brunching with friends once a week, then his frame is NOT where it should be. I mean it's not like she's out bar hopping, it's brunch.
I can easily say if a guy isn’t comfortable with his chick hanging out with guys or her exes then his frame isn’t strong. Frame isn’t going to protect you from the negative consequences of a toxic woman period.
 
M

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Frame isn’t going to protect you from the negative consequences of a toxic woman period.
You missed my point. If he doesn't TRUST her and believes she's toxic and that there's even a slight chance her being with friends will have negative consequences, then he should NOT be dating her!

That's not having a strong frame, that's dating/being in a relationship with the wrong girl.
 

CornbreadFed

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You missed my point. If he doesn't TRUST her and believes she's toxic and there's even a slight chance that her being with friends will have negative consequences, then he should NOT be dating her!
There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life. I am not arguing against dating a woman with a social life, I am against dating a woman with cemented priorities that don’t benefit a relationship at all. Brunch is fine a few times a year, but weekly brunching is a vice not a healthy habit.
 

Bokanovsky

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There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life. I am not arguing against dating a woman with a social life, I am against dating a woman with cemented priorities that don’t benefit a relationship at all. Brunch is fine a few times a year, but weekly brunching is a vice not a healthy habit.
Agreed. Every woman I've ever dated who would have regular brunches with girlfriends turned out to be a nutjob.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

M

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There’s much better ways for women to have a healthy social life.
Like what? Just curious. Again, it's brunch. Sitting at a table with a few friends she hasn't seen all week, having a mimosa and eggs benedict lol.

It's not happy hour or clubbing surrounded by men.

Meanwhile you get to enjoy your lone time and/or watching sports with your friends.

I'm actually shocked by some of your attitudes about this, it sounds totally oppressive, suffocating and good luck holding your girl long term.

And then you wonder why your girl does leave.... SMH
 

CornbreadFed

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Like what? Just curious. Again it's brunch. Sitting at a table with a few friends she hasn't seen all week, having a mimosa and Eggs Benedict lol.
What type of people are fine with getting day drunk/full and ruining their whole Sunday every week? My gf has plenty of friends and she only brunches every so often. Usually dinner, lunch, or gym plans. Usually more drinking is involved in brunch and not lunch/dinner.
 
M

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What type of people are fine with getting day drunk/full and ruining their whole Sunday every week?
WTF, exaggerate much? Who said anything about "getting drunk" and "ruining their entire day"?

By spending a couple hours sitting at a restaurant having a wine or a c0cktail, eggs and pancakes with friends?

Again, if getting drunk and ruining the entire day is what your girl or any girl is doing or you think she is doing, then you should not be dating her.

You don't trust her and would venture to say even like her much or respect her and her decision-making process.

Anyway...

This argument is so ludicrous I'm bowing out. Work on your frame, paranoia and trust issues man, they sorely need improvement.
 
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CornbreadFed

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I doubt if brunches usually end in drunken debauchery, but I agree that people who go on Sunday brunches have too much time and money. And here in Europe any type of inebriation during the day is frowned upon. Far as I know, most brunches here don't serve alcohol.
Brunch here in the states is associated with drinking during the middle to late day on a Sunday usually.

WTF, exaggerate much? Who said anything about "getting drunk" and "ruining their entire day"?

By spending a couple hours sitting at a restaurant having a wine or a c0cktail, eggs and pancakes with friends?

Again, if getting drunk and ruining the entire day is what your girl or any girl is doing or you think she is doing, then you should not be dating her.

You don't trust her.


This argument is so ludicrous I'm bowing out. Work on your frame, paranoia and trust issues man, they sorely need improvement.
Who wants to be productive after a couple of mimosas, wine, or whatever ****tails paired with heavy brunch food? Even if you don't get drunk, you still don't want to do shvt after it because you are full and sluggish. There's a reason it is called brunch and not breakfast or lunch. Brunch is an event or occasion, not a meal.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I doubt if brunches usually end in drunken debauchery, but I agree that people who go on Sunday brunches have too much time and money. And here in Europe any type of inebriation during the day is frowned upon. Far as I know, most brunches here don't serve alcohol.
But the people who go get a $7 coffee every morning on their way to work and then eat out for lunch at work wasting $300+ every month are good with money?

Women going to brunch are like 5% of the population. Women/Men getting morning coffees and work lunches are like 40% of the population.

Men probably should be far more concerned about lack of financial sense from the people doing daily coffee and work lunches.
 
M

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Who wants to be productive after a couple of mimosas, wine, or whatever
Sunday is a day of rest (from work and being "productive") and relaxation.

Let her catch up with friends for a couple of hours, YOU go do your own thing and meet up later.... for your own fun.

Makes for a much more balanced and happier relationship imo. It's a couple of hours a week for goodness sake.

Let each other breathe...
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Brunch in these coastal cities isn't just a fancy occasional treat – it's a regular part of the weekend routine. For many folks, it's as normal as hitting the gym or grocery shopping. It's just what you do on weekends.

You'll see groups of friends, couples, or even solo diners with laptops or a good book making their way to their favorite brunch spot. It's almost like a ritual. Wake up late, get dressed in something casual yet relaxed, and head out to meet friends or enjoy some alone time, all while digging into some delicious food.

This regularity also means that brunch spots are always buzzing with energy. It's a community where people from all walks of life come together. You'll find a mix of locals, out-of-towners, young professionals, creatives – all kinds enjoying their weekend staple.

And let's not forget the role of social media in making brunch a 'normal' thing. You'll see many folks snapping pics of their fancy plates or clinking mimosa glasses for the 'gram. It's part of the culture now – brunch isn't just a meal; it's an experience to share and showcase.

In short, in these cities, brunch is as regular as it gets. It's the go-to weekend plan, blending good food, chill vibes, and a community feel. It's not just a meal; it's a part of the lifestyle.

There's always a flip side to these trends. While many people are all about the brunch lifestyle, another crowd rolls their eyes at the whole thing. They see it as another part of the insular, maybe even pretentious, urban bubble.

With its fancy dishes, artisanal coffees, and Instagram-worthy setups, the brunch scene can seem a bit over the top for these folks. They might view it as people showing off or being part of an exclusive club about following the latest trends and being seen at the 'right' places.

Some even argue that it's less about the food and more about the image – like, are you there for the pancakes, or are you just there to post about it and show how extraordinary your weekend is? They see it as a symbol of a kind of urban elitism, where people are disconnected from the realities of everyday life outside these trendy neighborhoods. However, if your city has an excellent culinary scene (much of America does not), the different options for food are amazing; we're talking serious eats here. When a kid out of school can make 150k on their first job, they have more money than the share of couples in the US.

So yeah, while brunch is a regular, enjoyable thing for many, it's got its critics. Some see it as another way city life can be insular, focusing more on trends and appearances than genuine experiences. But, like with any trend, you've got people who love it, people who hate it, and plenty who don't care either way!
 
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CornbreadFed

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Sunday is a day of rest (from work and being "productive") and relaxation.

Let her catch up with friends for a couple of hours, YOU go do your own thing and meet up later.... for your own fun.

Makes for a much more balanced and happier relationship imo. It's a couple of hours a week for goodness sake.

Let each other breathe...
I refuse to date a girl that thinks it is okay to get fvcked up with her friends every Sunday religiously. The type of people that do that are IMHO not high on my value spectrum. It shows me that she has low self-control & impulses, the inability to cut-off toxic friends, and poor time management.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Another skill to learn.
Learn how to cook.
It's like knowing how to dance. Even if you just know some basics, you're miles ahead of so many other men it's ridiculous.
Seriously, learning how to make a killer strata or frittata is stupid easy and makes you a gem among men if you make it for a sleepover.
 
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