Intorversion - (SERIOUSLY) help me make it a plus to get women!

[sexxyback]

Yeah I usually get

"You look sad?" "You look stressed out?"

when I am on a date, and we are out somewhere. Sometimes it is because I am stressed, or the girl is boring me - but usually I am having a good time and this comment surprises me. I try to explain that I am not, but I feel like they have already labelled me.

 

[Babnik]

Yeah I usually get

"You look sad?" "You look stressed out?"

when I am on a date, and we are out somewhere. Sometimes it is because I am stressed, or the girl is boring me - but usually I am having a good time and this comment surprises me. I try to explain that I am not, but I feel like they have already labelled me.

Yeah! Its hard to force a smile or pretend to be interested in very boring, uninformative stuff!

 

[Latinoman]

We are in a bar. I start talking for myabe 15 minutes, getting to knew guys and girls, interesting conversation. Someone else picks up the conversations an dI stand listening and slowly enter my own thoughts and brain and sit down and just think about things. Because I am not standing like the rest and talking NON-STOP - I look a bit out of place and sad (just neutral facial expression).

The issue here is NOT that you are no talking. The issue here IS that you are NOT even paying attention.

That has nothing to do with introvertion and more to do with either boredom or attention deficit issues.

 

[sexxyback]

he has a point, you have to work extra hard to seem interested and attentive in social situations - especially those that you don't find particularly interesting. extroverted people like *all* social situations, so this is no problem for them.

 

[Latinoman]

he has a point, you have to work extra hard to seem interested and attentive in social situations - especially those that you don't find particularly interesting. extroverted people like *all* social situations, so this is no problem for them.

Although (I'm an extroverted too), some extroverted also lose focus or pay no attention to what others are saying too. Especially the Type A personallity type.

 

[Babnik]

The issue here is NOT that you are no talking. The issue here IS that you are NOT even paying attention.

That has nothing to do with introvertion and more to do with either boredom or attention deficit issues.

Well, I thought that I have attention deficit disorder, but then I would be doing poorly in school and would have a hard time listening to profs.

However, its not the case. It seems there is no motivation when it comes to people, but enough motivation when it comes to classes to pay attention.

How can I combat that? I'm not going on some pills for ADD people! There is not enough ADD to even go to the doctor.

 

[Latinoman]

Well, I thought that I have attention deficit disorder, but then I would be doing poorly in school and would have a hard time listening to profs.

However, its not the case. It seems there is no motivation when it comes to people, but enough motivation when it comes to classes to pay attention.

How can I combat that? I'm not going on some pills for ADD people! There is not enough ADD to even go to the doctor.

I don't know as I'm not a doctor. I suppose that if you have ADD, you would be acting similar in classes and the likes.

 

[Slim Ironwood]

I am an introvert coming out of my shell and doing well at learning the art of socialization and trust me, we have it way better than the extroverts do. But there's some things you need to clear from your head before you start thinking about success with women.

First off, you have to accept your introversion as a gift and start treating it as one instead of being worried about how different you are. You have to understand that spending time with extroverts is the only way to learn about them, and eventually you will learn more about people. You will never have any trouble socializing with an introvert, so if you want to start using your gift to land some chicks then you might as well start paying attention.

Your advantage over extroverts is that you do not depend on others for your own emotional support. This is kind of rare among people and women can sense this and are attracted to your inner strength. But they won't be attracted to you until you feel comfortable with this, because in turn they will feel comfortable around you.

I'm calm, comfortable, often quiet when I don't feel like saying anything, but I also reassure these people that I care what they're saying by laughing or advancing the conversation. Not because I feel like it's right, but because that's what makes people like me.

Extroverts can sense introverts and although they may not understand them, some recognize that they're probably smarter and are usually jealous to some extent if they make rude remarks about you. If women sense this in you, it's attractive and once you start trying to get better at socializing, you'll learn what makes people like you and master these techniques when spending time with women. Once you can combine this with your sexuality, you have a formula for success. I don't approach women often, but constantly have women gravitating towards me because I have started to force myself to learn all this.

Just stop taking your introversion so seriously and start seeing social gatherings as opportunities to learn more about people because you have to give a little more than you get back in order to get a women's physical love.

The last statement may come off wrong, but when you find it hard to care about the woman as well as the sex, these efforts don't come naturally.

 

[Babnik]

I am an introvert coming out of my shell and doing well at learning the art of socialization and trust me, we have it way better than the extroverts do. But there's some things you need to clear from your head before you start thinking about success with women.

First off, you have to accept your introversion as a gift and start treating it as one instead of being worried about how different you are. You have to understand that spending time with extroverts is the only way to learn about them, and eventually you will learn more about people. You will never have any trouble socializing with an introvert, so if you want to start using your gift to land some chicks then you might as well start paying attention.

Your advantage over extroverts is that you do not depend on others for your own emotional support. This is kind of rare among people and women can sense this and are attracted to your inner strength. But they won't be attracted to you until you feel comfortable with this, because in turn they will feel comfortable around you.

I'm calm, comfortable, often quiet when I don't feel like saying anything, but I also reassure these people that I care what they're saying by laughing or advancing the conversation. Not because I feel like it's right, but because that's what makes people like me.

Extroverts can sense introverts and although they may not understand them, some recognize that they're probably smarter and are usually jealous to some extent if they make rude remarks about you. If women sense this in you, it's attractive and once you start trying to get better at socializing, you'll learn what makes people like you and master these techniques when spending time with women. Once you can combine this with your sexuality, you have a formula for success. I don't approach women often, but constantly have women gravitating towards me because I have started to force myself to learn all this.

Just stop taking your introversion so seriously and start seeing social gatherings as opportunities to learn more about people because you have to give a little more than you get back in order to get a women's physical love.

The last statement may come off wrong, but when you find it hard to care about the woman as well as the sex, these efforts don't come naturally.

Yeah, people sometimes do not like that and they THINK that I think I am better than them.

I think the best way to overcome is to SUPPORT THEM. Since I have inner strength, I can give it to them! You know, they feed on it. If I give them none of my support and give them insults then they hate me.

Like, often they will be doing something WRONG and I know they are wrong and I stick my 5 cents to bring them down and to show them that they are wrong.

They hate that. I guess I will just support their WRONG idea, but do the right thing myself.

 

[fedagent]

Still concerned about the reply to "Why are you alone? Why are you sad?"

Babnik,

I am EXACTLY the same as you.....there are some theories that intorverts are actually highly sensitive people.....meaning they get overstimulated due to large crowds and this drains their energy.

Often I'll go off by myself and get people asking me the same things you mention.....usually I just say I'm people watching, which is actually part true. And it usually gets us talking more, which is perfect for me....

Fed

 

[Kev07]

lie and fake, it's the only way.

how can you make a girl interested in you if you show zero interest in her?

or i guess you could go busting in with sexual topics

whatever tickles your fancy

 

[BlackJackal]

bump!

Still concerned about the reply to "Why are you alone? Why are you sad?"

What do I tell my FRIENDS? I would be in a bar and all of a sudden "Dude, are you OK man? You don't look like you are having a good time!" and I am!

I'm introverted myself and I get this same line from people who dont understand that. I just tell them I'm chillin for now. I tell women the same and ask them why? do you wanna keep me company?

 

[BuildingSomethingBig]

'why are you alone?' 'why are you so quiet?' 'you look sad?' 'what's wrong?'.

These questions have been asked to me before, and this is what I said:

"Why am I alone? Why do I look sad? (said with a mock disgusted face) ... does that pickup line ever work? (cheeky half-smile)"

It deflects the question (becuase afterall, if you are confident with who you are, you shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself to random girls) and it is also a good conversation opener.

 

[mrRuckus]

I lean towards introversion and it has nothing to do with self-confidence. I firmly believe that I'm better than most everybody out there. Smarter, more athletically gifted, better looking, better educated...

I'm still more introverted than extroverted. Oh and I get girls.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

I lean towards introversion and it has nothing to do with self-confidence. I firmly believe that I'm better than most everybody out there. Smarter, more athletically gifted, better looking, better educated...

I'm still more introverted than extroverted. Oh and I get girls.

Ha. that's me in a nutshell.

 

[Babnik]

These questions have been asked to me before, and this is what I said:

"Why am I alone? Why do I look sad? (said with a mock disgusted face) ... does that pickup line ever work? (cheeky half-smile)"

It deflects the question (becuase afterall, if you are confident with who you are, you shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself to random girls) and it is also a good conversation opener.

So they ask "Why are you alone?" and you reply with "Does that pick up line always work?"

 

[BuildingSomethingBig]

So they ask "Why are you alone?" and you reply with "Does that pick up line always work?"

No.

I don't say "does that pickup line always work?" because that would imply that it is a good line and she has got my attention.

I say "does that pickup line ever work?" conveying a 'why the fcuk are you asking me this crap' attitude.

 

[Babnik]

No.

I don't say "does that pickup line always work?" because that would imply that it is a good line and she has got my attention.

I say "does that pickup line ever work?" conveying a 'why the fcuk are you asking me this crap' attitude.

Well, specifically for you, I repeat for like the 5th time is that many times they ask that question with a submissive attitude because they simply want to start a conversation and talk to me. They aren't giving me ATTITUDE, but the question itself is just hard to answer.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

BIGGEST WEAKNESS - small talk about nothing which nearly VITAL. I am not interested what she studies, who her friends are, what she does for living, and what she did last night. Women can tell because my replies are FORCED and not natural, not honest. I don't say "Oh really?" with an a proper tone to seem interested. I say "Oh really"...



Generally speaking introversion is caring about your own mental stuff and not caring about others.

Like it or not, this mentality will screw you and not in the way you are trying to accomplish. I'm well aware of the pitfalls of introversion as I've been an introvert, myself, my entire life. But you will never succeed unless you find a way to modify this way of thinking.

For a long time I got annoyed because I felt that the conversations I was having with women were boring because they weren't about things I cared about. Then I thought, "Okay, why am I talking to this girl if I don't care about HER? Or at least finding out if she's worth my time." After I came to that realization, it became obvious that regardless of what the actual topic of discussion was in my interactions with women, I was still talking about something that interested me; them.

As long as you're interested in the girl you're talking to, then you're still technically talking about something important to you unless you're just making small talk which is generally useless and should be minimized. But the first two sentences I just quoted allude to the fact that you mistake what's important to her for small talk which couldn't be further from the truth.

You don't have to be a social butterfly. But you have to make an effort to develop a genuine interest a woman. If not, she will have no interest in giving you what you want. And if you limit your topics of discussion to only things you're into (which will seem just as boring to her unless you're interesting about it), the bulk of that physical attention you seek will come from Rosie Palm and her five sisters.

The less you focus on the topics and the more you focus on the fact that you're listening to her tell you who she is, the easier and more enjoyable it gets.

 

[Babnik]

Like it or not, this mentality will screw you and not in the way you are trying to accomplish. I'm well aware of the pitfalls of introversion as I've been an introvert, myself, my entire life. But you will never succeed unless you find a way to modify this way of thinking.

For a long time I got annoyed because I felt that the conversations I was having with women were boring because they weren't about things I cared about. Then I thought, "Okay, why am I talking to this girl if I don't care about HER? Or at least finding out if she's worth my time." After I came to that realization, it became obvious that regardless of what the actual topic of discussion was in my interactions with women, I was still talking about something that interested me; them.

As long as you're interested in the girl you're talking to, then you're still technically talking about something important to you unless you're just making small talk which is generally useless and should be minimized. But the first two sentences I just quoted allude to the fact that you mistake what's important to her for small talk which couldn't be further from the truth.

You don't have to be a social butterfly. But you have to make an effort to develop a genuine interest a woman. If not, she will have no interest in giving you what you want. And if you limit your topics of discussion to only things you're into (which will seem just as boring to her unless you're interesting about it), the bulk of that physical attention you seek will come from Rosie Palm and her five sisters.

The less you focus on the topics and the more you focus on the fact that you're listening to her tell you who she is, the easier and more enjoyable it gets.

I was about to post something and here I am reading what you just said.

You are absolutely correct.

But you see, the whole thing of TRYING makes it unenjoyable and its like WORK. You know when you have a class that you need for your career but its boring as hell and its HW time and you know you need it so you force yourself. The same thing here, except that I don't need the girl, but its the only way to get through to her feelings and panties.

Girls can tell when you are asking just random questions, TRYING to make a connection, and its going nowhere because there is no genuine interest.

I don't know how to develop that interest. I get no butterflies and no spark, just nothing for people in general.

Why? In general people don't really have valid information, but rather information from experiences they had. So, I don't give much credit and validity to the information people provide.

So, lets say she comes up to me and smiles and says Hi and there is this VIBE thats in the air and there is attraction! Yey! Then, I don't know what to ask or to tell her because even with that attraction, I don't give a woop-tee-doo about what she thinks of this or that or how she feels about something. It will make no impact on my life and that information is rendered useless. I feel like a cold calculating machine.

I don't know how to develop that interest and that...spirituality towards people.