Inner game issues.

[Packers2010]

I'm trying to stay positive, but in the house i am in now it's starting to become harder and harder.

yesterday, there was ants in the coffee pot and mouse poo on the grill ( i found out after i lit it and put my bread on it. and yes i did eat it i was hungry. it wasn't that bad it just smelt after it got hot.)

i just want to move out and i can't. i don't get much sleep cos i sleep on a coach, i don't have a car so i can't go out as often as i like and my mother and father are fighting all the time that there is ALWAYS tension in the air. since they are fighting, nothing gets done in the house. it always looks and feels like s****. I'm SICK of it. sick of all it! i get so worked up over it because sometimes i feel like I'm just cleaning up THEIR mess. I'm 23 now, i have my own mess to clean up! i need to be interdependent and I'm not! i feel like a looser sometimes because of this.

I'm not playing the victim card because I have a lot going for me. I am in school and i love it. I have progressed with my inner game and game in general. though I haven't had much success.

one of the other things i have noticed is i haven't had a good night out since i got that make out back in jan. for the first time in my life I felt " in state" and i think it scared me. i was so " on" i felt like i could do anything. my mind was so clear i didn't care about anything i just went for it.

i think i have a huge success barrier, becuse i haven't been able to get back into that state. i think it scares me what i am capable of. i mean. all my life i thought i was a P.O.S and now i can get a make out from a stranger in a club? i can really do that?

can you guys help me out on these issues.

 

[Mike32ct]

One strange thing about the game is that you have these epic nights where you are in the zone and things goes very well, but weeks (or months or more) later, you wonder about it and sometimes even question it. Was that really me that did that? How did I do that? How do I get back to that and do it again?

I go through that a lot. I re-read my top field report from November and thought to myself, "Who the F was that guy ? Was that really me lol?"

Anyway, just remember what you did before you can do again. It's just that getting back into the zone isn't easy. At least for me, I had to build up to it. It wasn't a switch that I could just quickly turn on. I had to go through a few days of warmups and rejections to reach that state.

I do believe in this concept of having to "mentally shift gears." It's not easy, but it's necessary to get in the zone. This isn't just for pickup but life in general.

Have you picked up a book and started your homework but you just WEREN'T in the zone yet? Maybe you didn't feel like doing it. Maybe you couldn't concentrate or really understand what you were studying. But you stayed with it. Then your brain started to adjust to it (ie mentally shift gears so to speak) and then you got into the zone. It's started making sense. You started making progress and even started to enjoy it. Soon times flies by and you complete yoir studying or assignment.

This is all my long-winded way of saying, "You have to prime the pump."

Talk to girls casually and warmup in this game and slowly let your brain adjust and get back into the zone. Then go out and tongue some chick .

"The Zone" isn't gone. It's hidden in your mind and waiting to be accessed again.

I hope that helps.

 

[Packers2010]

it helps.. i just really want to get these inner game issues sorted. i feel like they won't be till i move out which is months away

 

[SgtSplacker]

I grew up in a chaotic household. My father was the type to just flip out every couple days for no reason at nothing in particular and everything. Mom wasn't all there either.

My life changed when I moved out. I could live a normal life, a happy life.

Move out man, it's time. At 23 you can go dude, and it's normal to be starting out at that age. Start off in an efficiency somewhere or with a roommate and just get that ball rolling. You will not regret it.

Life improved...

 

[Packers2010]

I grew up in a chaotic household. My father was the type to just flip out every couple days for no reason at nothing in particular and everything. Mom wasn't all there either.

My life changed when I moved out. I could live a normal life, a happy life.

Move out man, it's time. At 23 you can go dude, and it's normal to be starting out at that age. Start off in an efficiency somewhere or with a roommate and just get that ball rolling. You will not regret it.

Life improved...

i have already played to do that. what i am saying is i can only do that in like 5-8 months. i finish school in like 5 months then i need to get a high paying job just to afford to move out.

 

[Dali_tx_o]

You have friends, right? Preferably in some other town?

This might depend on your personality and hobbies, but my suggestion? Have a care-free weekend; Sort out as much as you can before Friday comes, and arrange with a friend(s) that you are coming over to visit them for a day or two (you can actually stay with one group on friday, and another group on saturday).

Once there, just remember these things:

1)Don't mention, think or talk about your problems;
2)If you do, think of a task that is rather stupid, embarrassing and ideally distracting which you *have* to do. Can be anything, from shotgunning a beer, to chatting up the first woman you see, to doing 15 push-ups on the spot. This will serve as a good distraction; The point is - forget about having home somewhere, be in the moment.
3)Do anything you want to do. You can get drunk on Friday and go to a library on Saturday, or a local theme park, or maybe on a date you arranged on friday evening - the whole point is, don't plan much, just go with the flow. If you find yourself bored/sitting thinking what to do, just go somewhere around the corner, then around another one until you *find* something you want to do, be it a pub or a museum or a bank robbery under-way; And since you are geographically at another location, preferably somewhere you have never been, you will most likely will get a lot of new things happening and will feel free, even overwhelmed by new experiences;
4)Ideally, you want to go there by bus, or hitchhike, or anything like that that minimizes your responsibilities (like bringing you car would bring a headache about perhaps driving someone somewhere, not drinking, finding a place to park etc.). It's your holiday, and you are not allowed to worry about anything until Sunday morning (when you start heading home). Or consider going home on Saturday when you arrive Friday, but allow yourself the option of potentially staying for another night.

It's like small holiday that people who do 8-5 job take every once in a while to distance themselves from their problems; Changing environment often drastically changes emotions;

Sure, it won't solve any household problems, but it will give you a big boost in yourself and bring out positive emotions, and break the routine you have now, allowing you to "reset" yourself internally. And, potentially allow you to get back into your state again!

 

[NewAndImproved]

I think you need to get some of the other parts of your life handled, too. If you're not happy with your current situation at home, it's up to you to change it.

I grew up an only child, overprotective parents. I didn't know how to do things for myself and was quite shy because of it. I moved 3000 miles across country for college and haven't looked back since.

Trite as it sounds, handling things as they come on your own makes you more confident. Rather than the world doing things to you, you start to feel you have some control over your own circumstances which in turn makes you more motivated. At the end of the day I think that's the biggest reason I've improved with women.