Inexperienced girl thinks she's asexual

Maxtro

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RockaRolla25 said:
You have a lot of problems that even Pook Himself can not fix.

That was a very very painful read.

She's probably wondering why you're wasting all this time around a girl who won't put out because you're not off with other girls. She probably thinks you are asexual too.
Why did you bold that part and then say I have a lot of problems? She said that she is not worth it.

She knows I'm after other girls as well, but things just didn't pan out for me.

Also, I spent very little time on her this year (we have a bit of history) and only did so because I became friends with her dorm-mate who happened to be in the same class I'm in.
Zodiac said:
Maxtro you should give up an move on. I wasted my time trying what you tried to do. In the end what happened was she got over the issue of not thinking she was good looking and ended up bypassing me, screwing roughly half of the people I knew and only thought of me as a friend.

Seriously man if you "fix" this girl the outcomes could end up as one of the following:

a) Girl thinks she is good looking because well this guy (You) says so and she goes out to be a real bad attention ***** or just plain a *****.
b) Becomes your crazy stalker that will try to control your life by separating you from all your female friends to become the only female in your life... sometimes slowly or sometimes ultimatuming it.
I don't think A and B are the only choices. But I'm not going to stick around to find out. I've already deleted her number and blocked her on Facebook (so I can't go to her page)

Yeah, I would really hate to see her with another guy and I can't be around if/when it happens.
Igetit! said:
+1 rep. Maxtro.


What,you surprised? Don't know what the rep. point was for?


Max,you have 3000+ posts. And in this one reply of yours here,I FINALLY saw something from you I'd NEVER think I'd ever see.....EVER.


If you don't know what that is,then re-read your post. You'll figure it out.
I can still get rep? I thought I turned that off. Or did you mean it figuratively?

I reread my post and I don't really know what stands out.

Was it where I mentioned that she thinks she isn't worth it and I asked her about her confidence?

Or is it the fact that I even had this conversation and got everything in the open?

I don't belive her. Sorry,I just don't.

Something just doesn't add up here.


You say that this girl doesn't want to date,that she's closed off to it. You say that,but you also said she's a virgin,who's never had a boyfriend.


Well how can she be closed off to something she's never experienced before? If she had been in relationships that went sour,been hurt over and over again,then she said this,I'd be more inclined to believe her.
That was my argument to her, ugh! I even joked that I can make her a PowerPoint.

I asked her if she's curious about it, then she smiled and asked if she was curious about what. I said, yeah that too, and she said, no not really.

She told me that she hasn't had any negative experiences, just not interested and that she's gone 21 years without needing to be in a relationship.

Then I started to say, "but your going to get old and be a" Then she cut me off saying that she's not going to become a crazy cat lady. I joked that she would have Pokemon plushies instead and she said that she already has some.

I just think she's either been sheltered all her life,or she simply just haven't met a man who's turned her on yet.
That is very possible. Though I wonder how picky she can be if she's gone this long without being attracted to anybody.


This conversation is logical. You shouldn't have had this type of discussion with her. This is like TALKING ABOUT an orgasm vs. experiencing one.


Instead of TALKING ABOUT how she's "never liked a guy in that way" you should have just "been that way" with her.


I know,I know....you say that she's already rejected you before,BUT you two were together with each other talking about sexual topics such as her possibly being asexual,her not liking guys "like that",and you telling her why you liked her. All that stuff was romantic/sexual,and it all took place AFTER she rejected you.
Oh, I knew that I was going things about it the wrong way. I even brought up the point to her that I was trying to logically convince her but I knew it wasn't going to work.

Since I knew that I don't have a clue how to make her feel emotional that I might as well tell her how I feel so I can at least know that I tried. This conversation basically was, "Why I won't date you."

I would love to just "be that way with her."

Woah,woah,wait a minute......she doesn't want to "go anywhere" until she knows you better? The fvck?


Wait a minute......DIDN'T SHE SAY SHE WAS "ASEXUAL"? That's what she said she thought she was,right? Well if that's true,then what difference will her "knowing you better" make?


If she's truely asexual (as she claims),then what's this business about "knowing you better"? What is that? If you're a stranger to her NOW,and she's asexual,then once she gets more aquainted and used to you,then what'll happen? What,her "asexualness" will suddenly disappear?



That's why I said I flat out don't believe her. So which one is it....is she asexual and has no sexuality in her whatsoever,or does she simply need to get better aquainted to a guy (you) to open up sexually?


I believe it's the latter.
Yeah, the "get to know you better" line really confused me. But then she was quick to add that she doesn't want to date.

If she doesn't want to date me, then getting to know me better should be a non-issue.

I thinks she's really confused. If I was just a bit smoother, I'm sure I could push her over the edge.

BTW, I've known her for about a year now, I've made a few threads about her in the past.

Either this girl is nuts,or she was simply "fishing" for some sort of compliment from you. Can't believe she said something like that about herself.
The full line was something about her not knowing why I've been after her for so long, she thinks she's not worth it, and doesn't want me "lamenting" over her.

Does that mean she has some concern for me? I might be grasping at straws but maybe she thinks I'm too good for her?
Done been through this before.....you don't change a girl's mind. You change her MOOD. That'll change her mind.
That's the hard part. Though I did manage to make her upset, as shown in a previous post. We then reconciled but it wasn't really thing big.


Ah yes,the old "Alcohol = sex" jedi mind trick.


Well I do believe that getting a girl drunk can get you sex.....BUT...you told this girl you wanted to DATE her. Date,as in possible LTR.


Well alcohol may get you sex,but is WON'T get you a relationship. So your plan might work if you want a "fling",but if you're after something more lasting and stable,you might want to go a different route.
That goes to the whole she, doesn't know what she's missing thing. If we did end up having sex, and me taking her virginity, she might realize, "Oh, I'm not asexual and I do like you." Then a relationship would most likely form, unless she wanted to be F-buddies or something. Which doesn't seem likely with her.
vatoloco said:
Wow. I guess even asexuals like orbiters. ;)
I'm not an orbiter. I've only talked to her in person three times this year.

Zodiac said:
I think Maxtro be trolling us
Yeah, I made this all up for my "enjoyment" :rolleyes:
 

Igetit!

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Maxtro said:
I can still get rep? I thought I turned that off.
You did,but just because you disable it doesn't mean the rest of us can't still access it.

Or did you mean it figuratively?
Literally. Even typed in a little comment and everything.

Maxtro said:
I reread my post and I don't really know what stands out.
The part that got my attention was this right here....

Well I talked to her today and she admitted that she over reacted.

Then we got to the heart of the matter that I want to date her

I'm so used to your threads being about you being "friends" with a girl for months and months before you finally asking her out,or you focusing more on commonalities such as comic books,anime,or salsa dancing,that I was SHOCKED to see you "get to the heart of the matter" and actually discuss YOU and HER dating each other for once.


You've been accused of being a troll so much by so many people,that after a while,even I started to wonder if that was the case or not.


The reason why is because you kept asking the same questions over and over and over again. You'd get excellent advice from the forum,then go out and make the same mistake time and time again.



I even asked you once if you understood what you did wrong in a particular situation,or if you needed to go through the same thing again with 2 or 3 more girls,and you said YES. Then AFTER you said yes,AFTER you said that you understood where you went wrong and that you knew how to avoid the same mistakes in the future,AFTER you said ALL THAT......


you went right out and did the same thing again....AND again.


I was like,"Huh??? He just went through this. How many times does the same thing have to be explained OVER and OVER again?"



I remember this reply from another member here a few months ago about you.....
I think Maxtro is either pulling a giant trick on us all or he is trying to get falcon, igetit and everyone else to start pulling their hairs out.

I really think he is a troll I really do.

I think a year and a half to two years ago when you had one of your threads going on,another member here PM'ed me telling me not to bother with you,that you had been here 5 years,hadn't learned a thing,and was just wasting everybody's time with your threads because you wouldn't listen or take anyone's advice.


And after seeing you do the same things over and over again after everything that had been said to you,I finally had to agree with that.



It wasn't until your "Ugh,I don't know what to do next with this chick" thread that you FINALLY seemed to start to "get it" a little. And then in this thread where you said you "got to the heart of the matter" about the two of you dating each other,that let me know that you seem to be changing....for the BETTER.



I say that because imo,the "Maxtro" from "It ain't over yet" and "Should I end my friendship with this girl???" would NEVER have done that.



There still were a few loose ends and minor tweaks you should have done here,but overall,the fact that you actually discussed YOU TWO DATING instead of some comfort building side issue like anime or whatever impressed me.
 
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Maxtro

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Not in the mood to start a new thread since all the background is here.

I just spent about four hours walking around a big mall with her. It was a lot of fun. Though a huge red flag was when I moved in for a hug at the end, she open palmed my chest, effectively countering my hug. It was more of a forceful push and she kept her arm there for a few seconds till I gave up. She said that she is not a touchy person and doesn't even hug her friends. Though she didn't say anything when I touched her arms, shoulders and bumping into her, so I think it's the outward showing of affection that makes her uncomfortable. We still parted on good terms.

30 min later and my chest still hurts. I think she got me in the sternum.

On my way home I realized how crazy I am about her. Aside from her big issues with intimacy and affection, she is my perfect girl. It's just so frustrating being in this situation.

All I can do is keep spending time with her like this and hope she falls for me. Though it feels like I'll have a better chance getting hit with a meteorite.
 

corrector

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Maxtro said:
Not in the mood to start a new thread since all the background is here.
You are picking girls that are asexual because you know they can't easily reject you for another guy because they are not turned on by men at all.
This is a good ego-protecting device. Asexuals and lessies -- little ego risk of getting rejected for another guy.

Maxtro said:
I just spent about four hours walking around a big mall with her. It was a lot of fun. Though a huge red flag was when I moved in for a hug at the end, she open palmed my chest, effectively countering my hug. It was more of a forceful push and she kept her arm there for a few seconds till I gave up.
If she treats other guys like that then there is no loss to the ego.

Maxtro said:
She said that she is not a touchy person and doesn't even hug her friends.
Aha..that is your ego right there interpreting it..she doesn't hug anyone else so I didn't get dissed.

Maxtro said:
Though she didn't say anything when I touched her arms, shoulders and bumping into her, so I think it's the outward showing of affection that makes her uncomfortable. We still parted on good terms.
In your mind or her mind?

Mastro said:
30 min later and my chest still hurts. I think she got me in the sternum.
Will you sue her for your medical bill and lay charges?


Maxtro said:
On my way home I realized how crazy I am about her. Aside from her big issues with intimacy and affection, she is my perfect girl. It's just so frustrating being in this situation.
Your whole life is frustrating. 3000 posts of frustration. If the mods banned you they will be doing you a favour of sparing you from banging your head against the wall, over and over again and writing these posts and threads.

Maxtro said:
All I can do is keep spending time with her like this and hope she falls for me. Though it feels like I'll have a better chance getting hit with a meteorite.
Or winning the lottery? Maybe then you'll get allot of cash and just buy a girlfriend.
 

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HariPoter13 said:
A wise guy once said "alcohol => sex"
Exactly. Alcohol is the best truth serum. She could just be putting up her guard because she's afraid and inexperienced ( a real coward ).

If the alcohol doesn't loosen her up and allow her to express her inner self, then that's just the way she is. Move on.
 

Maxtro

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corrector said:
You are picking girls that are asexual because you know they can't easily reject you for another guy because they are not turned on by men at all.
This is a good ego-protecting device. Asexuals and lessies -- little ego risk of getting rejected for another guy.
Nope, I was interested in her long before I found out she think she's asexual.
If she treats other guys like that then there is no loss to the ego.
I have no idea nor do I care about how she treats other guys.
Aha..that is your ego right there interpreting it..she doesn't hug anyone else so I didn't get dissed.
Uh, no. That's what she told me.

So I talked to a mutual female friend and of course they've hugged. So she's feeding me a line.

In your mind or her mind?
It seemed like it was on good terms, but she's making it hard to hang out with her again, so maybe she was really upset. It hasn't been a week yet since I saw her so I'm not going to worry.

Your whole life is frustrating. 3000 posts of frustration. If the mods banned you they will be doing you a favour of sparing you from banging your head against the wall, over and over again and writing these posts and threads.
And what have I done to warrant a ban? Making one post every few days? Oh I'm such a troll.

Just because my life sucks doesn't give anybody the right to be rude to me.

Alle_Gory said:
Exactly. Alcohol is the best truth serum. She could just be putting up her guard because she's afraid and inexperienced ( a real coward ).

If the alcohol doesn't loosen her up and allow her to express her inner self, then that's just the way she is. Move on.
I'm trying to get her to come over to my apartment again to play some video games and watch a movie. I'll make a few girly drinks and get her buzzed. I'm curious to see what happens.

Since she rarely ever drinks I have to make sure that she doesn't get drunk.
 

corrector

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Maxtro said:
And what have I done to warrant a ban? Making one post every few days? Oh I'm such a troll.

Just because my life sucks doesn't give anybody the right to be rude to me.
Nobody said you are a troll. This is not healthy for you. It is more of a pity thing for you if you are banned to protect you from wallowing in your misery.

But, hey, people need to read stuff on here to feel good about themselves and think "gee, at least I'm not THAT bad."
 

Alle_Gory

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Maxtro said:
So I talked to a mutual female friend and of course they've hugged. So she's feeding me a line.
It's very possible. I guess she doesn't like you dude. Worse things have happened.

It seemed like it was on good terms, but she's making it hard to hang out with her again, so maybe she was really upset.
Who cares? Do you believe you did anything wrong? No? Then fvck her. She doesn't matter. Overly sensitive stuck up b*tch.

I'm trying to get her to come over to my apartment again to play some video games and watch a movie. I'll make a few girly drinks and get her buzzed. I'm curious to see what happens.

Since she rarely ever drinks I have to make sure that she doesn't get drunk.
If you can make a tropical style fruit punch with flavored alcohols it's not only delicious but loaded with alcohol. She'll get herself drunk.

Please find a good recipe and use quality ingredients. Fruit punch is amazing when made correctly.

Also, use good spiced rum. White.
 

Maxtro

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LOL, banning me won't stop me from wallowing. I do plenty of that by myself thank you. Besides I only post a small fraction of what I think and feel.

But, hey, people need to read stuff on here to feel good about themselves and think "gee, at least I'm not THAT bad."
Eh sure, why not? I could easily make a new account and pretend to be newbie. Nobody would be the wiser.

But I choose to keep using this account, just in case I manage to succeed. Then people will see that it's possible to go from being at the absolute bottom, to fairly normal.
 

Maxtro

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Alle_Gory said:
It's very possible. I guess she doesn't like you dude. Worse things have happened.
It's either that, or having intimate contact with a guy who likes her, freaks her out. I don't have any idea.

Who cares? Do you believe you did anything wrong? No? Then fvck her. She doesn't matter. Overly sensitive stuck up b*tch.
Honestly she didn't seem upset at all.

I don't have a clue what she is thinking. Right now when I tell her to hang out with me, she responds that she's busy with work or something. I'll try every few days and we'll probably hang out some time next week.
If you can make a tropical style fruit punch with flavored alcohols it's not only delicious but loaded with alcohol. She'll get herself drunk.

Please find a good recipe and use quality ingredients. Fruit punch is amazing when made correctly.

Also, use good spiced rum. White.
Orange/strawberry/banana juice, shot of Malibu rum, half a shot of grenadine. Tastes great and the alcohol isn't noticeable all.
 

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One of my closest friends talks of a HB9 who has no sex drive whatsoever, she simply cannot be turned on. Now she is nature's ultimate tormentor as she still retains the female need for attention/validation. Guess how many azure balls this one has caused.

As for you Maxtro, you're an idiot. I doubt this chick is truly asexual, I really, really do. I just think that you're just too much of pansy to get her to open up her legs & heart. You've already been KO'd via her previous rejection & here you are still sniffing around her like a pup begging for a pat on the head & a rub on the tummy. If there was a padlock on that pvssy before, there's now barbwire.

Replace your soft azz with a dude in great shape with a planetoid's worth of confidence & she'd be the little pup running along behind the big bad akita begging for a humpin' & a cuddle.

A fairly attractive chick who likes anime/video games? Let me put it this way, if she's a water type Pokemon, then I'm a thunder type....everything I do would be super effective. Sorry mate but you're ember won't cut it with this one.

Oh & the whole "I don't know why you keep trying, I'm not worth it" really means "I don't know why you keep trying, YOU'RE not worth it". Everyday I've seen girls with guys superior to them in almost EVERY way possible, I've even been that guy...these girls most certainly want to you waste your time giving them attention & cawk.
 

Maxtro

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Uh Kirro how was that post supposed to help me?

Anybody can come on here and write a post on how I'm an idiot who is never going to get X girl.

I'm glad you think you're the shit. That's a cool story, bro.
 

PapiChulo

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I think some guys on here need an ego boost or something, thats why they insult Maxtro pointlessly. He actually gets more sympathy from me than the rest.

I honestly believe that this asexual type is fairly common. I ve just made a tread like that about a woman which Kirro labeled as a tormentor. She fits the profile of mine as well, I know there is some desire in there! But its freaking so deep down you have to pry it out of her. Weird upbringing in a small town, religious parents, all the sh!t in there, and the list goes on, yet appears seemingly normal. Well, I wish I was Brad Pitt, than I would have laid her already, but sadly it aint gonna happen. I can tell you that you should throw everything you got at her and if it fails, forget about her, there is nothing but trouble about this type, f?*ck her.

I know plenty of women who dont enjoy sex and have practically non-existent sex drive. They are usually cold as well. Nothing good about them, they are either damaged goods, frigid, or mentally ill, who will waste your time and energy. They make perfect attention wh*res and do require what any normal woman would in terms of validation! They set their standards sky high, even though they are average at best. Dont fall into this trap. It all comes to the guy being ideal for her in every away possible to actually turn her on, and so that she would not feel guilty about going with you.
 

Kirro

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Maxtro said:
Uh Kirro how was that post supposed to help me?

Anybody can come on here and write a post on how I'm an idiot who is never going to get X girl.

I'm glad you think you're the shit. That's a cool story, bro.
Ya know dude, people have been throwing helpful advice at you for years now, I just got lazy & decided making fun of you was easier. Want helpful advice? Give up & move on to females who aren't weird closed off b!tches. What this girl is, is a massive lump of negative energy & she will consume you & leave you broken & decayed & it will be ALL your fault because she's told you she isn't interested.

Course its a cool story, know what makes it cooler? Its a FACT!!!:rockon:

@Chulo - Its said a good portion of success is finding the targets who're interested in you yeah? When you encounter a "tormentor" you eject at the first sign. I find that whole getting sucked into wanting to be the one to open her up...literally...is just a form of desperation masked as...."this girl's a challenge".
 

Maxtro

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What's really weird to me, is that this girl doesn't seem cold or damaged at all. She's always been warm. When we hung out last week, she was goofy and bubbly. She seemed to genuinely have a good time. That was also the most open I have ever seen her.

So it seems really odd to me that she's not eager to hang out again. Because I know she'll enjoy it. I wonder if she's afraid that something will happen.

I wish she would just realize that she likes me, and let go.

Well, I wish I was Brad Pitt, than I would have laid her already
Yeah, I get the strong feeling that if I were better looking or taller, I would have slept with her by now. I have a gut feeling that she isn't physically attracted to me at all. No women ever are. So I need to get by with my, charm :rolleyes:
 

Alle_Gory

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Maxtro said:
Uh Kirro how was that post supposed to help me?
I think he's trying to tell you to become that guy. Get in shape, be attractive. That should be a huge confidence booster making you even more attractive.
 

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Kirro said:
@Chulo - Its said a good portion of success is finding the targets who're interested in you yeah?
This is gold. I've said myself that 80+% of this game is proper target selection. Sometimes you get this gut feeling that a certain girl is the one you need to approach. Sometimes you just roll the dice and cold approach and find out she's interested. But either way, it ALL ABOUT finding the right girl.
 

Maxtro

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Mike32ct said:
This is gold. I've said myself that 80+% of this game is proper target selection. Sometimes you get this gut feeling that a certain girl is the one you need to approach. Sometimes you just roll the dice and cold approach and find out she's interested. But either way, it ALL ABOUT finding the right girl.
Reminds me of 2 and a half men I saw yesterday.

Allan was in a bar and Charlie told him to look at all the women and then say which ones are attractive to him. So as he's scanning all the women, one girl gives him a very warm smile and he doesn't even stop his gaze and instead focus on one who doesn't even know he exists.

Of course I'd go after the girls who are giving me buy signals. But that just doesn't happen in my life. I have to be proactive and try to start a connection out of nowhere. Obviously it's super hard to try and make a girl who has no interest in you at all to like you.

What I do is find a target and try to establish a connection. This girl was easy. I still remember the first days of that Japanese class. Once everybody had their seats I scanned the room looking for targets. She was pretty, white and not fat, score. The next day I arrived early and got a seat right next to where she sat the day before. Of course she sat in the same seat she did yesterday. Little bit of small talk. Then I notice that she has a Ninja Turtle backpack with a Rock Lee keychain on it, and the rest was history.

Everything about her just matched up so well to what I wanted it was crazy. That's the main reason why I'm having such a hard time moving on. For me, it's like she's 90% perfect. The other 10% is a stiff-arm to my chest.
 

f283000

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JAMIET said:
sounds to me like what you need to do is.

grab her and kiss her.
Best advise yet. You're not going to convince her by talking to her, trying to reason with her. You need kino and lots of it over a long period of time, you need to get sexual thoughts in her mind (conversations about sex), let her know she is sexy and how sexy she looks in those shorts/pants/dress whatever she is wearing.

You would have to do all that for a long period of time. Not sure if worth it.
 
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