Inexperienced girl thinks she's asexual

[Maxtro]

Odd situation here.

21 year old girl, never had a boyfriend, virgin, probably never even kissed a guy, and she thinks she might be asexual.

She doesn't want to date, mostly a loner and "happily" spends her time doing homework and playing video games or killing time online. Not really interested in guys, but not a lesbian either. She's not religious.

I've got a female mutual friend whose trying to turn her on to dating and then heard the asexual thing from her. The friend wants us to hook up. But this girl is a hard one to crack. My guess is that she has no idea what she is missing; both in terms of sex and relationships.

Unfortunately she's already rejected me, because she thinks she knows what she wants. Though from my experience here, most girls don't have a clue about what they really want.

Anyway to convince her to give me a real shot, and see if I can wake her up?

 

[Chickfight]

I don't know man. It seems like she may actually be asexual. It's said that one in a hundred people actually have no desire for sex what so ever. It's just how they are. Hard to understand I know.

But If she is 21 and even mildly attractive, then many many guys have failed to turn her on in the past, including "alpha" ones. There's no doubt the reason she has never even been kissed is by her own choice. If she's not religious, the only other possible explanation can be asexuality. Seems legit to me. I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[Mike32ct]

Sounds like a long shot. Such people do exist and there's nothing much u can do about it.

 

[Maxtro]

I don't know man. It seems like she may actually be asexual. It's said that one in a hundred people actually have no desire for sex what so ever. It's just how they are. Hard to understand I know.

But If she is 21 and even mildly attractive, then many many guys have failed to turn her on in the past, including "alpha" ones. There's no doubt the reason she has never even been kissed is by her own choice. If she's not religious, the only other possible explanation can be asexuality. Seems legit to me. I wouldn't take it personally.

Yeah she is attractive, but in a geeky way. If she bothered with makeup and a decent hairstyle she'd be hot.

But she's shy and anti-social, which probably causes most men to quickly give up. I don't think that alpha guys even bothered with her.

I know that it's a long-shot and I'm not taking it personally. I'm just wondering if anybody has dealt with a girl like that?

Actually, maybe I am taking it personally? Not really for me though, but like it's a crime against nature.

If somebody told that they didn't like bacon, I'd be ok with it. But if they later told me that they never tried bacon, I'd be jamming it down their throat. Because bacon if fucking amazing! They need to try it before they say they don't like it. Nobody can honestly say they don't like something if they never tried it, within reason of course.

Heck, I hate most kinds of seafood. I've tried many different types. Then one day I went with my family to a sushi place. They ordered a sushi sampler. For the hell of it I tried some sashimi, what do you know, I actually liked it. If I hadn't tried it, I would have believed I hated all fish.

So a girl who says she doesn't want sex, because she's never had it, makes me want to show her what she's missing.

 

[trrush]

If somebody told that they didn't like bacon, I'd be ok with it. But if they later told me that they never tried bacon, I'd be jamming it down their throat. Because bacon if fucking amazing! They need to try it before they say they don't like it. Nobody can honestly say they don't like something if they never tried it, within reason of course.
.

I hope you never tell a gay guy you never tried a big black cawk, otherwise following your advice, you should deep throat it.
anyway, the more you try to "show" her what she's missing, the more she'll resent you. She already rejected you. she knows what she wants, and it's not you. just accept it, sounds like an ego thing to me more than anything else.

 

[Maxtro]

I hope you never tell a gay guy you never tried a big black cawk, otherwise following your advice, you should deep throat it.
anyway, the more you try to "show" her what she's missing, the more she'll resent you. She already rejected you. she knows what she wants, and it's not you. just accept it, sounds like an ego thing to me more than anything else.

Did you see the within reason, in the post that quoted. That covers things like engaging in homosexual sex and jumping out of airplanes. There is nothing unnatural about heterosexual sex.

And no, I haven't been trying to show her what she's missing. I don't want to foolishly alienate her. That's why I posted this thread to see if there is any action I can take without pissing her off and making her shut down.

You are partly right about the ego thing. There's also that I like her. Then there's the fact that I'm a pretty lonely guy and I don't like it. So seeing her by herself makes me want to invite her out and give her company. In a way I kind of feel bad for her.

PairPlusRoyalFlush wow, she does show several of those symptoms. I don't know her well enough and I'm certainly not qualified to say that she is schizoid but it may be a possibility.

 

[HariPoter13]

A wise guy once said "alcohol => sex"

 

[Leporello]

The real question is if she likes being touched. If she does, there's something there deep down. If she doesn't, forget it.

 

[Tesl]

The real question is if she likes being touched. If she does, there's something there deep down. If she doesn't, forget it.

Good point this one.

Maxtro - I love you for everything you have written on this board. But seriously ... if there was a situation where a man had to seduce an asexual girl ... you are probably not the right person to take on the challenge.

Ignore this one, go challenge yourself with some other hot girl instead.

 

[MonkeyButt]

Only thing I don't understand is ... why you'd want this chic.

If you broke her, you'll likely end up with a lovestruck need-oid.
Virgin sex is rarely that good (disclaimer: don't know if I've ever had one).

MB

 

[typical]

Only thing I don't understand is ... why you'd want this chic.

If you broke her, you'll likely end up with a lovestruck need-oid.
Virgin sex is rarely that good (disclaimer: don't know if I've ever had one).

MB

Depends on how much blood comes out, it can go from "wow your a virgin" all the way to "holy sh!t who lost the blood donation bag down there"

In the end IT IS NOT WORTH IT, you wont come for at least 3 months and have to teach them everything, I mean everything even basic making out and spooning, give a me a dirty bird that knows what she's doing anyday.

Add on to the fact that they will latch onto you as their "knight in shining armor" saviour and will be envious of any and all females around you.

 

[Maxtro]

In the end IT IS NOT WORTH IT, you wont come for at least 3 months and have to teach them everything, I mean everything even basic making out and spooning, give a me a dirty bird that knows what she's doing anyday.

Add on to the fact that they will latch onto you as their "knight in shining armor" saviour and will be envious of any and all females around you.

Uh, none of that sounds bad at all. I'm not exactly the most experienced guy.

Trying to seduce her is out of the question, that's why I am trying to see if there is a different way.

It probably doesn't matter anyways since I was teasing her about how she rarely gets emotional, I called her a "robot in disguise," which is a Transformers joke. And somehow that really upset her and she wants nothing to do with me anymore

 

[Tesl]

I hope you learned something about the effects of using Transformers jokes with girls?

Man. Get yourself a visa to enter China and come for a trip here, I'll sort you out.

 

[MonkeyButt]

haha,

A glimpse at your potential future.
I'm glad you hadn't invested too much effort yet.

 

[Maxtro]

I hope you learned something about the effects of using Transformers jokes with girls?

Man. Get yourself a visa to enter China and come for a trip here, I'll sort you out.

LOL what could I possibly learn? This was done over text and I was expecting some kind of sarcastic response. But a few days later, her friend told me that she was really hurt. She also embellished and said I called her a heartless, soulless robot. Yeah...

Oh well, there are other girls.

 

[Maxtro]

Well I talked to her today and she admitted that she over reacted.

Then we got to the heart of the matter that I want to date her but she just doesn't want to date at all.

For whatever reason, she just isn't interested in dating. We clarified that she's never had a boyfriend and that she's never even liked a guy in that way. We were talking about why I like her so much and she thinks it's because she's more masculine than most girls, so I can relate to her better. That makes sense and she's also pretty. I mentioned how we have a lot of common interests, but then she brought up that the stuff that I invite her to, going salsa dancing or just working on in the gym are things she doesn't like to do. I don't really mind that she doesn't like doing physical stuff and I'd be happy doing what she wants to do. I know she likes art, aquariums, anime/video games, so there are lots of places we could go.

She knows I like her and is fine with spending some time with me, but she doesn't want to really go anywhere till she "knows me better." Which I think is odd because she's already been to my apartment a couple of times. Though she said she's more than fine to keep having lunch with me to as she knows me better. Then she reiterated that she doesn't want to date anybody, and then she said something like; "I don't know why you keep trying, I'm not worth it." I asked her if she has some confidence in herself, and after a pause she said she has enough.

It sucks that I'm just not smooth enough to change her mind.

I guess my last resort is to somehow get some booze in her to get her to loosen up. I also could sneak a kiss and blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Well I talked to her today and she admitted that she over reacted.

Then we got to the heart of the matter that I want to date her but she just doesn't want to date at all.

For whatever reason, she just isn't interested in dating. We clarified that she's never had a boyfriend and that she's never even liked a guy in that way. We were talking about why I like her so much and she thinks it's because she's more masculine than most girls, so I can relate to her better. That makes sense and she's also pretty. I mentioned how we have a lot of common interests, but then she brought up that the stuff that I invite her to, going salsa dancing or just working on in the gym are things she doesn't like to do. I don't really mind that she doesn't like doing physical stuff and I'd be happy doing what she wants to do. I know she likes art, aquariums, anime/video games, so there are lots of places we could go.

She knows I like her and is fine with spending some time with me, but she doesn't want to really go anywhere till she "knows me better." Which I think is odd because she's already been to my apartment a couple of times. Though she said she's more than fine to keep having lunch with me to as she knows me better. Then she reiterated that she doesn't want to date anybody, and then she said something like; "I don't know why you keep trying, I'm not worth it." I asked her if she has some confidence in herself, and after a pause she said she has enough.

It sucks that I'm just not smooth enough to change her mind.

I guess my last resort is to somehow get some booze in her to get her to loosen up. I also could sneak a kiss and blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.

You have a lot of problems that even Pook Himself can not fix.

That was a very very painful read.

She's probably wondering why you're wasting all this time around a girl who won't put out because you're not off with other girls. She probably thinks you are asexual too.

 

[Zodiac]

Maxtro you should give up an move on. I wasted my time trying what you tried to do. In the end what happened was she got over the issue of not thinking she was good looking and ended up bypassing me, screwing roughly half of the people I knew and only thought of me as a friend.

Seriously man if you "fix" this girl the outcomes could end up as one of the following:

a) Girl thinks she is good looking because well this guy (You) says so and she goes out to be a real bad attention ***** or just plain a *****.
b) Becomes your crazy stalker that will try to control your life by separating you from all your female friends to become the only female in your life... sometimes slowly or sometimes ultimatuming it.

 

[Igetit!]

+1 rep. Maxtro.


What,you surprised? Don't know what the rep. point was for?


Max,you have 3000+ posts. And in this one reply of yours here,I FINALLY saw something from you I'd NEVER think I'd ever see.....EVER.


If you don't know what that is,then re-read your post. You'll figure it out.

Then we got to the heart of the matter that I want to date her but she just doesn't want to date at all.

I don't belive her. Sorry,I just don't.

Something just doesn't add up here.


You say that this girl doesn't want to date,that she's closed off to it. You say that,but you also said she's a virgin,who's never had a boyfriend.


Well how can she be closed off to something she's never experienced before? If she had been in relationships that went sour,been hurt over and over again,then she said this,I'd be more inclined to believe her.


I just think she's either been sheltered all her life,or she simply just haven't met a man who's turned her on yet.

We clarified that she's never had a boyfriend and that she's never even liked a guy in that way. We were talking about why I like her so much and she thinks it's because she's more masculine than most girls, so I can relate to her better. That makes sense and she's also pretty. I mentioned how we have a lot of common interests,

This conversation is logical. You shouldn't have had this type of discussion with her. This is like TALKING ABOUT an orgasm vs. experiencing one.


Instead of TALKING ABOUT how she's "never liked a guy in that way" you should have just "been that way" with her.


I know,I know....you say that she's already rejected you before,BUT you two were together with each other talking about sexual topics such as her possibly being asexual,her not liking guys "like that",and you telling her why you liked her. All that stuff was romantic/sexual,and it all took place AFTER she rejected you.

but then she brought up that the stuff that I invite her to, going salsa dancing or just working on in the gym are things she doesn't like to do.

She said that the things you like to do,she doesn't like,right?

Uhhh.....yeah,so? So what? What was the purpose of her bring that up? So I suppose that if she had liked the things you suggested,then she'd have gone out with you,right?

She knows I like her and is fine with spending some time with me, but she doesn't want to really go anywhere till she "knows me better."

Woah,woah,wait a minute......she doesn't want to "go anywhere" until she knows you better? The fvck?


Wait a minute......DIDN'T SHE SAY SHE WAS "ASEXUAL"? That's what she said she thought she was,right? Well if that's true,then what difference will her "knowing you better" make?


If she's truely asexual (as she claims),then what's this business about "knowing you better"? What is that? If you're a stranger to her NOW,and she's asexual,then once she gets more aquainted and used to you,then what'll happen? What,her "asexualness" will suddenly disappear?



That's why I said I flat out don't believe her. So which one is it....is she asexual and has no sexuality in her whatsoever,or does she simply need to get better aquainted to a guy (you) to open up sexually?


I believe it's the latter.

and then she said something like; "I don't know why you keep trying, I'm not worth it."

Either this girl is nuts,or she was simply "fishing" for some sort of compliment from you. Can't believe she said something like that about herself.

It sucks that I'm just not smooth enough to change her mind.

Done been through this before.....you don't change a girl's mind. You change her MOOD. That'll change her mind.

I guess my last resort is to somehow get some booze in her to get her to loosen up. I also could sneak a kiss and blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.

Ah yes,the old "Alcohol = sex" jedi mind trick.


Well I do believe that getting a girl drunk can get you sex.....BUT...you told this girl you wanted to DATE her. Date,as in possible LTR.


Well alcohol may get you sex,but is WON'T get you a relationship. So your plan might work if you want a "fling",but if you're after something more lasting and stable,you might want to go a different route.

 

[vatoloco]

Wow. I guess even asexuals like orbiters.