Independent Advice pls!

34542

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OK, heres the problem, although it may be a bit ‘wussy’ I need help on what to do, as I am a bit confused!

Last year, I was really good friends with this girl, we hung around together all the time, and in the summer I asked her to the ball, she said yes. I thought she liked me and so did everyone else around me. After the ball in July, I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime, she said yes. I then sent her a text every so often asking if she was free to go out sometime, and she never replied for like 6 weeks.

Then we started a new term in September. She avoided me for the first couple of days (e.g. she saw me, turned around and walked a different way). When I finally spoke to her, she snapped at me that ‘we should just be friends’, and that she didn’t reply to me in the holidays, because she was busy. Then she walked off.

For the next like 4 months, every time I saw her, and said ‘hi’, she either just grunted or said nothing, so in the end I just stopped bothering. I did say, cant we just talk about this, but she ignored me.

Then in January, I started a new class (8 of us), and she was in it and I had to work with her. She started talking to me like we used to last year, and I just started talking to her (she spoke as if nothing had happened). So I asked her a couple of times if she was free perhaps at the weekend, and everytime she replied either “NO” or “I’m busy, sorry”. Everytime in the class that I tried to crack a joke, she just looked at me like I was mad, and was like ‘That’s not funny” (me trying my c&f routine), and if I spoke about a subject, afterwards she was like “sometimes you really do talk rubbish.

Out of the class, everytime I see her, she generally blanks me and acts like she hasn’t seen me, although if im with someone she knows as well, she’ll say hi.

That was a couple of weeks ago. The next week after that she ran up to me to ask what result I got in my exams (she takes similar subjects), I just ignored her and walked off, just simply because I didn’t think she was really interested and she doesn’t talk to me any other time, almost like she only talks to me out of lessons when she wants something.

So we had the next lesson on Tuesday, and as soon as she saw me she kept on saying “what did you get in your exam”, and I said I didn’t do too well (which I didn’t) but refused to tell her the result. Then she kept on repeating the question 5 times, and in the end I just said “Look, the reason I’m not answering that question and why I didn’t answer that last week was because I don’t think you really are interested, to which she replied “I am!”. I said “I’m just sick of the way in which anything I do isnt good enough, every joke I crack you ridicule and everything I say, you make fun of. She replied “Fine then, I just won’t talk to you”, and she walked off.

I see her around and about the whole week, but she just blanks me, so I do too. At the end of the day yesterday, I walk to the train station where I meet my best friend every day, and there she is standing with my best friend (who she doesn’t really know). I walk up and say Hi to him, and he replies, and she through clenched teeth says “Hello, How are you?”, to which I reply ‘Fine’, and then she says ‘Must Go’ and walks off.

So I have this lesson again on Tuesday with her, and the question is what do I do. Do I totally ignore her, do I talk to her, what do I do? In some ways I still like her but I think to be honest, its more because of the past than anything else?

Do I next her, I’m kinda stuck?

Help?!
 

Maybnoob

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Ditch this *****.... and move on.
Shes a total *****
 

Jariel

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Girls usually turn nasty like this if you're too forward or persistent. If they get guys hit on them or hassle them regularly (a lot of girls do), they tend to get irritated easily and develop a bit of a coldness towards every guy who chats them up.

On one hand, you should have taken the hint much sooner, but on the other she is being very rude and disrespectful. I'm not sure why you would still want to talk to her after putting up with that sh1t? My advice is the same as Maybenoon's - DITCH HER AND MOVE ON! In fact, ditch EVERY girl who acts this way or flakes this much and move on!
 

34542

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so i just ignore her, even if she tries to talk to me
 

snobby

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No.

Treat her like a friend and leave what happened behind you too. I can't say it is her fault, it is entirely your fault actually with the way you acted and how you chased her around texting her constantly. Then at the end you STILL make manners worse by acting bickered and upset with her. You should definitely NOT let it show that you're affected with her not going out with you, but instead act like she was just another girl that didn't work out.

Yea she was *****y with you and acted retarded, but some women act like that when they feel pursued...not a good thing man. Women are *****es by nature lol, we cant change that.

So definitely let her go, after all this I would strongly doubt that you have a chance with her in the future. Just be friends again and both of you move on.
 

JJMcLure

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Is this in high school, because the whole scenario, especially how she acts seems pretty high school-ish.

Anyway, she clearly is overcompensating in trying to make you aware she doesn't "like you". Criticizing you, not laughing at your jokes etc. Frankly, you don't need that. If she does it - bust on her hard. Give as good as you get.

But realize the fact that this chick isn't into you. Don't try to "talk about it", or keep asking her out. You have to see her around etc, so just act "normal", as you would with any person you don't really know but are acquainted with. Say hello but don't try to start conversations. Always be the first to end an coversation. Be polite but not overly interested.

Focus on other chicks.
 

Docs

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This is a high school thing.

She's a user and completely uninterested in you. I had the same thing happen. I helped this one girl for months with math, and she liked me helping her, but the boundary of relationship was not to be approached in her eyes. I poked and proded, trying to find a hole but as I was stuck as a friend already, all I got was the religious difference, or they guy has to be x,y,z when I was x, w, and a.

Point is, one day she decided to not care anymore and blew me off completely. No longer would she talk to me, I was considered sh!t in a mansion, not a part of her life, whatever you want to call it, she called off the friendship and everything.

Point is, I was used and thrown away, and in your case, it's the fact she's a ignorant wh0re. You presented a bit of interest and she was 'eww', and reacted as such.

Do yourself a favour and move on, she's not worth a second more of your time. :)
 

wavejams007

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the more you try and get her, the more you will get hurt. I have tried the persistence approach, and gotten crushed due to my stupid idea of brushing off the rejections. But you had better tell your best friend and warn him(I am assuming it is a guy?) that she is not worth it, and not to listen to what she has to say. actually, PM me, and I will tell you a true story about a guy I know who had a horrible experience with a girl, you might get a laugh out of it, but learn something too.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

cruesoepolo

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I think I would have to agree wiv dat. I think you know you screwed it up, but as to what to do, I think thats the best option. I had this happen once, I even thought deep-down we could be friends but it just doesnt work.

Any1 els agree?
 

Wyldfire

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There is a proper way to ask a girl on a date...

You can't just say "let's go out sometime" and expect her to plan something.

YOU are the man and it is YOUR responsibility to take care of that. When you asked her to the ball (a SPECIFIC invitation and a plan) she said yes. When you asked if she wanted to go out again sometime, she said yes.

During those 4 weeks you were sitting around with your thumb up your butt she was thinking "Why hasn't he called to ask me on a date?"

If you had of just called her and said "Let's go to such and such a place on such and such a time" you would have actually given her something to say yes to.

You MUST have specific plans when you ask a girl/woman out or all you are doing is thinking out loud and doing jack sheit.

And she reacted in a hostile manner because she is frustrated with you for never scheduling an actual date. She feels like you led her on with all those "sometimes" but never actually had solid plans to offer.
 

Macgyver

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You took too long to act upon the initial stages of meeting her.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Socialreject

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lol! :)

Why does what she does and doesn't do bother you at all? If i was in this situation i would simply ignore her!

If for some reason you have to interact with her then simply treat her like your little brat sister, bust on her (when she says something nasty you just say, i love you two sunshine!), have fun with it, if she lashes out you don't get upset you just say something funny about it and just keep on going like it totally doesn't vibe you in any way.

If she asked you about the grades i would have just said "i got straight A"s, what you think?!", if she keeps persisting to know what grades you got and you just don't want to tell her (and once you've acted all difficult about it you SHOULDN'T tell her EVER), then just come clean with her and give it to her straight "it's none of your business to be honest". If she says "fine then i just won't talk to you at all" you just say "ok bye!" (in a neutral tone of voice, like you are really just saying bye, cya tomorrow/later).

If she tries to redicule your joke in front of others (ie castrate you), for example... you crack a joke, some people laugh about it in a friendly way and she comes out with "that was a really lame joke!". Just turn to her wink or make a kissing motion with your lips, smile and say "i like you two!".

Whenever she is being a b1tch, you are going to bust her on being a b1tch! But you don't do it in a rude way like just flat out saying "you know what, you're a real b1tch!". Nah, you put it in a subtle, joking way that redicules hes nasty personality in such a way that everyone will see that what she's doing is b1tchy and very unnesecary because YOU couldn't care less!

Never ever, intterupt her! For example, you spot her doing or saying something really b1tchy and you go over there and make sure everyone noticed she was being a b1tch.. NO WRONG, you are giving her attention. Don't give her attention, EVER!

Everytime you are talking to someone else, or generally talking to a group of people and NOT to her and SHE interrups you or makes a comment about what you said then she is trying to get your attention and trying to make you look like a fool. If you want to counter it you have to totally discredit it by rediculing it, ignoring it and least of all, giving her any kind of real attention or any kind of indication that what she is saying affects you emotionally! Cause then she wins.

Now all in all, you shouldn't waste any more time on her at all, simply ignore her, she doesn't exist anymore! BUT since you might be forced to be in her presence (due to school or whatever), she might actually not LET YOU ignore her, and keep b1tching at you and trying to chop your balls off in front of others! When that happens you have to find some way to solve it and if she doesn't let off by simple discrediting her/not paying attention to it you might have to get a little more 'real' with her...

Treat her like some guy that keeps bothering you and won't go away! Tell her to stop stalking you or whatever... just make sure she gets the picture that her company and interaction is UNWANTED and that you are slowly but surely getting fed up with it.

I know i said, "don't give her any attention or let her get the feeling like whatever she does effects you in any way", but now it's different. You just want her to fvck off and get out of your life and her b1tching is getting old and boring, so come clean about it and just tell it straight to her face.
 

Potbelly

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dude, next her. This girl seems like a total biatch to you. If I were you I'd give her a taste of her own medicine. If she says something I'd not respond or be like "yo dude, did u hear that wind blowing?" to a friend or something

or if she talks to you like a biatch just stare w/o responding and be like, "sorry, you got blocked by my dumbass filter. REPEAT"
 
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