In A Traditional Marriage, A Woman Don’t Need No Money

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Brother_Rapp
Brother Rapp
If you are going to compare your parent’s marriage to a probable marriage between you and your girlfriend, then questions have to be answered as to the similarity of the two. Let's not compare apples to oranges. How much are you and your dad alike? The same should be asked of your mother and your girlfriend. Is your mother as domineering as your girlfriend? Who made the most money between your dad and mom? What were your parent’s individual financial status before they got married? How long did your parents know each other before they got married? How many sisters and brothers do you have? How is the birth of each of them spread out? How long after they were married was the first child born? You also said that behind their relationship you turned out okay (you’re okay with the way you turned out). Who knows what lies in the dark corners of another person’s brain? Although you sound like it, we have only your word that you’re a pretty stable and sane individual. And last, did either of your parents cheat on the other and to what extent can you be sure of your answer?

My father always told me I should try to be BETTER then him, so the relationship i seek with sarah or who ever I end up with will be similar, but like a version 2.0 more updated, better faster. My father and I are very similar in that we both good listeners and are both well rounded but i'm definately going to surpass him sooner or later in terms of our ideas and quaities. Sarah Is in many ways very much like my mom, but in my eyes she's better becaue she's more on my level then my mom was with my father. My parents had things work out very well for them working in tandem as a team, I hope to form a team that is one step better then theirs. Oddly enough at first my dad made more money then my mom then when they started dating my mom was the primary fiancial earner then my dad got promoted and he made more. It went back and forth for a few years promotions, new jobs etc etc. My parents knew that having respect for one another and making joint decisions in all matters was the best way to go. They're both very strong minded and stern when it comes to people outside our immeadeate family. They'll do anything to protect one another and their only son (me). I'm not sure how long my parents courted before they married, but it was definately through work that they met I remember my mother telling me something about meetings they met at. Neither of them was wealthy before they met, they built their wealth together.
I think I'm okay because with my private school education came an expencive school psychitirst who said to me "you are one of the most honorable young men I've ever met" after he gave me full bill of mental stability. Oddly enough I've heard similar things come from people my entire life. I may only be 24 but my philosphies and values compare to people with several times my life experience, because that's how my parents raised and taught me to be.
I can never truely know if my parents have ever cheated on each other. I mean if they did It's one of the best kept secrets in our family because I've never heard anything about it from either side of my extended family. Obviously my parents wouldn't tell me if they did or didn't but I highly doubt it. My parents are like best friends. Like I said the team always came first with them and I can't decribe the level of respect and appreciation they have for one another. Not saying they have the prefect marriage, because no marriage is perfect, there's always work to be done. But my parents are both still together and I can see the love they have for one another in their eyes when they're together, because they're best friends. I'm trying to best them but It won't be easy but I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track with my current interest.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

Correct me where you feel that I am wrong, but I do see some differences in the marriage of your parents and the probable one between you and your girlfriend. Your mother was not portrayed as domineering as your girlfriend. Neither of your parents was wealthy and certainly your mother did not have the same comparable difference in salary to your father as your girl friend has to you. I see a competition between your parents for the making of money. Then I see only one child in 24 years plus of marriage. I now have to wonder how long after their marriage were you born. With no other children in the marriage you may have been the sole reason for their marriage in the first place. I see a comparison of apples to oranges.

But for the sake of argument, suppose I am wrong and you hope for the same if not a better outcome for your probable marriage then that of your parent’s. There was competition between your parents. Will there be competition between you and your probable wife? If we are comparing apples to apples, then the answer is yes. But you feel that it’s useless to compete with your probable wife. You also hope to make your probable marriage better then that of your parent’s. Hmmm. There’s a reason for your parents only having one child. If you intend to do better, how many children do you and your probable wife intend to have? Have you even discussed children with her? With your probable wife making the bulk of the family income between you two, it would seem that you would be doing the bulk of the caregiver’s role. I don’t see equal sharing of that role between you two. After all, you did say that you would have more time on your hands after you two are married. Day care and private schools with shrinks can help out. Hmmm. So I supposed that all you’ll need is an allowance from your probable wife?

Nature always finds a way to insure the survivability of a species. The human race is no different. A switching of roles has a good possibility of working. Though I would only recommend it happening as a last option. If things did play out like that for your marriage, it would basically fall within the “Traditional Marriage” category. Men are usually domineering and the financial head of the family. Your probable wife would fit into that category. Women are non-competitive and thus non-aggressive, are the primary caregivers of the “Traditional Marriage”. You would fit into that category. Would you be happy? I would guess you would. I don’t see your proposed initial situation with your probable wife as an example of the way marriages in general start off. So I don’t think that you can use it to dispute the merits of a “Traditional Marriage over a “Modern Marriage”. I see your probable future marriage as eventually falling into the “Traditional Marriage “ mode but with a switch in roles. Kind of like water always seeks it’ level. There will me extended periods of her having to take time off from work to actually carry your child or children to full term (then again there are surrogate mothers for that). Have you asked her if she wants a big family or a small family? However it goes, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

IN THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE (a woman don’t need and no money)
A woman doesn’t need any money. Certainly not no two or three hundred dollars in her purse. You didn’t know that did you? All she needs is enough money to do what her husband may have asked her to do and something for her personal incidentals. That’s it. Why? Because she then starts to get away from her role as primary caregiver of the family. It’s not her job to worry about the rent being paid or if there’s food in the icebox or if the phone might get cut off. That’s his job. All those brain cells that she would burn up thinking about those things are needless distractions which have the effect of taking away from her ability to think how she can better do her job (such things as having his clothes ready for him so he can go out and do battle on his war against poverty, getting his food ready, the kids out the way so he can rest and what perfume that she’s going to have on when the two of you snuggle up in the bed that night). That’s her job.

When it comes to the home, the traditional wife just says what she wants. It’s up to the guy to figure out how to make it happen in order to keep his wife happy. But in order to do that, he most have full control of all the assets. It doesn't matter if she is working a job or not. He can't be doing one thing with part of the money while she's doing something else with another part of the money and be expected to make her wishes come true. If she were to do that, she'd be dooming him to failure. So what’s the point?

If the guy is smart, all he needs for her to do is to just mention her desires once. That’s because a smart husband pays attention to his wife’s desires. If she’s not happy, then he’s not going to be happy. If the wife is smart, she will acknowledge all his efforts in making her happy and will not nag him.

Generally speaking, no one puts a gun to a woman’s head and makes her choose a particular guy to be her husband. A smart woman looks for a guy that has or will have the ability to make her happy. If a woman marries a guy and it doesn’t turn out like she thought it would, then it’s basically her own damn fault. After having made her choice for a husband, it’s up to her to decide at each point in their marriage, whether or not she has made a bad choice in the picking of a husband. If she has, it’s time to get a divorce. There’s this old saying about getting as much milk out of a cow as you can in one sitting and killing it or talking some every day over an extended period of time. A smart woman never pushes her husband beyond his limits in his ability to make her happy.

There is a growing percentage of marriages that are without sex due to men not wanting to have it with their wives. The reason? Feminist mind control is the answer. A woman is at her best when she’s in a loving marriage. Most women want to belong to one man, their husband. Men need to assert their rightful rule as leaders and dump the women that don’t like it. I say that we men should stand our ground. There are some women that can be saved. Those that cain’t? Fyck ‘em. There are plenty of other gals out there.

A woman’s traditional part is to give the guy the power of control. A man will not care about something that doesn’t belong to him. He should find a woman who is prepared to surrender power in exchange for love. Marriage is about a union, two people become one. For women, surrender of power ( her independence ergo money) is the essence of love. If a woman cain’t trust a man with her money and/ or life, she doesn’t love him and shouldn’t marry him.

When a woman constantly nags her husband, she is emasculating (cutting off his balls) him. If she really wants to have good sex with her husband, she should learn when to shut the fyck up. How can he screw her when she’s cut off his balls? Then the husband goes out and buys a big car or screws another woman to make up for his lost manhood. Have you ever heard women say, “Why did he risk his marriage to be with something like that?” Well, “something like that” treated him like he was a man and didn’t give him the feeling that he had to walk on eggshell when he was with her. “Something like that” didn’t nag the hell out of him. That’s why. If feminism is allowed to continually cut the balls off the guys, then society as a whole will become homosexual (defined here as the inability to form a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex). Feminism is a cancer on our society that destroys the traditional structure of the family. It creates fatherless kids, which leads to increased crime. This then becomes a self-perpetuating vicious cycle that needs to be broken.

Men traditionally respond to the weakness of women not to power. They want to be needed. An independent minded woman does not need protection. Hence, he doesn’t want to screw her. Men want power. Women want love. The female surrenders and allows the male to protect and possess her. By encouraging young women to be “strong and independent”, Feminism gives them a mental dyck. Men then become a needless duplication of what these what these stupid bytches need. Why then do they need men? A man cannot love a woman, if he doesn’t have the power to grant her wishes. When the husband has the power, he can and does his best within reason to make his wife happy. The power is thus used for the benefit of the two of them.

These days, there are a large number of women ashamed to admit that they want and / or like to be homemakers. Feminists have brainwashed them into thinking that it’s a crime for them to be good to their husbands. Being a wife and mother is what it’s all about. She’s in a position to respond to both her husband and kids. By doing that, she proves that she love us. How is it that takin’ somebody’s shyt and obeying some boss in the workplace is better then staying at home and taking care of the family and obeying her husband? Her husband is the guy who has promised to love, protect and cherish her till death do you two part. The idea that a married woman needs her independence is sheer stupidity. What she needs is a man to love her. A woman ain’t going to be loved forever because of her looks. It don’t work like that. Love is when you willingly sacrifice yourself for others. Independence is living for yourself. Ain’t no love there. Men must also keep their end of the deal or the marriage will fail as well. They have to sacrifice by doing them forty hours to support their families and provide love and direction. They have to stay loyal and show that they are thankful to their wives.

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Brother_Rapp
Correct me where you feel that I am wrong, but I do see some differences in the marriage of your parents and the probable one between you and your girlfriend. Your mother was not portrayed as domineering as your girlfriend. Neither of your parents was wealthy and certainly your mother did not have the same comparable difference in salary to your father as your girl friend has to you. I see a competition between your parents for the making of money. Then I see only one child in 24 years plus of marriage. I now have to wonder how long after their marriage were you born. With no other children in the marriage you may have been the sole reason for their marriage in the first place. I see a comparison of apples to oranges.

But for the sake of argument, suppose I am wrong and you hope for the same if not a better outcome for your probable marriage then that of your parent’s. There was competition between your parents. Will there be competition between you and your probable wife? If we are comparing apples to apples, then the answer is yes. But you feel that it’s useless to compete with your probable wife. You also hope to make your probable marriage better then that of your parent’s. Hmmm. There’s a reason for your parents only having one child. If you intend to do better, how many children do you and your probable wife intend to have? Have you even discussed children with her? With your probable wife making the bulk of the family income between you two, it would seem that you would be doing the bulk of the caregiver’s role. I don’t see equal sharing of that role between you two. After all, you did say that you would have more time on your hands after you two are married. Day care and private schools with shrinks can help out. Hmmm. So I supposed that all you’ll need is an allowance from your probable wife?

Nature always finds a way to insure the survivability of a species. The human race is no different. A switching of roles has a good possibility of working. Though I would only recommend it happening as a last option. If things did play out like that for your marriage, it would basically fall within the “Traditional Marriage” category. Men are usually domineering and the financial head of the family. Your probable wife would fit into that category. Women are non-competitive and thus non-aggressive, are the primary caregivers of the “Traditional Marriage”. You would fit into that category. Would you be happy? I would guess you would. I don’t see your proposed initial situation with your probable wife as an example of the way marriages in general start off. So I don’t think that you can use it to dispute the merits of a “Traditional Marriage over a “Modern Marriage”. I see your probable future marriage as eventually falling into the “Traditional Marriage “ mode but with a switch in roles. Kind of like water always seeks it’ level. There will me extended periods of her having to take time off from work to actually carry your child or children to full term (then again there are surrogate mothers for that). Have you asked her if she wants a big family or a small family? However it goes, I wish you the best of luck.

*Sigh*
Brother Rapp, as it was said in cool hand luke "Some men you just can't reach"
You just don't get it. After reading this post I can tell that you just can't comprehend the type of upbringing I've had nor does the reality that I live in seem possible in your mind. I'd like to continue with our little duel of minds but you really don't understand. You really haven't grasped the true nature of the world you live in nor do you have any concept of the world of tomorrow and it's a shame that I haven't been enlightened by the future reality of the world of tomorrow.
I've shown you how things are and how they will be. I've also shown you how your traditonal family life and my modern life can both flurish and fail. None-the-less your argument is played out and weak. There's really no place to go for you and your basis for failure is lacking at best. I gave it my all but your rationality is just poor. I stand for a future in which things have and will forever change but you really don't know enough about the evolution of man and the world to come up with a credible counter arugment against my views. You really don't understand the unique status of man nor do you understand why that uniqueness makes us far far different from any species of animal that has ever existed on our planet. Your ability to prove your pioint are just not broad enough to contend with a person who's on my level. I respect your thought about how thing should be in your mind but the reality of the situation is that no matter what you think there's always a multitude of exceptions and the fact that you can not see the ultimate flaws in your basis for arguement make you very narrow minded about the facts in the reality that we live in. I pity the fact that you know very little about human evolution and only base your assumtions on the last quater century or so and don't realize that history in itself has changed dramatically over the course of what is only a blink of an eye in terms of how long our world has existed. You can not hope to win this argument because you do not recongise the size of the players involved nor do you fully understand the current status of the modern world. I completely eclipse you in your understanding of how the world works and your failure to see that has left you wanting, just as Sarah told me it would when i began this debate.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

PRM said
I completely eclipse you in your understanding of how the world works and your failure to see that has left you wanting, just as Sarah told me it would when i began this debate.


From Brother Rapp into one of the ears of PRM, around his confused brain, out the other ear and to Sarah. I commend you on your demonstration of the control you have over PRM. The young man doesn’t even have a clue does he??

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Brother_Rapp
PRM said
I completely eclipse you in your understanding of how the world works and your failure to see that has left you wanting, just as Sarah told me it would when i began this debate.


From Brother Rapp into one of the ears of PRM, around his confused brain, out the other ear and to Sarah. I commend you on your demonstration of the control you have over PRM. The young man doesn’t even have a clue does he??

*sigh*
Just don't get it.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

Oh, I get it alright.

If Sarah is going to post then she at least should sign it.

 

[SheDevil]

Brother Rapp

I had asked you (last Friday) what was the foundation of your beliefs?

Was it a religious up bringing?

In the past, did a woman take your money and run?

Did you idealize this type of relationship when you were growing up?

You are 58 years old, you mentioned your wife pasted away 9 years ago, you had been married 12 years, if I did my math right that would have made you about 37 when you married. What about before that, say from 20 - 35 years old, did a disastrous relationship form your current views?

You speak of being very 'responsible', of making the decisions, being the provider, the protector, king of the castle, etc... Do you not see that in many ways your views are very irresponsible and presumptuous?

Where does your way of thinking leave a family if the man (ruler, in your case) cannot fulfill his duties? It the man dies or becomes disabled?

In your "perfect world scenario" you will ALWAYS be there, your wife will never have to make a decision, carry money or think for herself. She will simply live out her life serving you and the family, never needing more skills then how to bake a bunt and pin a sheet to a clothesline.

So where does your "perfect" little family stand should you be removed from the picture?

I will tell you where they will stand: lost, abandoned, disoriented, living in fear, and soon to be taken for all YOU were worth.

Well now, isn't that a nice picture?

Do you not feel that providing for your family includes seeing that they are wise, knowlegeable, and capable of being independent?

Wouldn't the security of your family require that your wife run the household in your absence?

Don't you see by being so controlling you are really forsaking your family?

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Brother_Rapp
Oh, I get it alright.

If Sarah is going to post then she at least should sign it.

*Sigh*
You really don't get it do you? She's my partner, she doesn't speak for me she speaks with me. But you've never had a partner so I guess you don't even know how that's possible.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

SheDevil
Where does your way of thinking leave a family if the man (ruler, in your case) cannot fulfill his duties? It the man dies or becomes disabled?


Brother Rapp
I don’t think that a good woman would blame her husband if he died or became disabled. I think that under those circumstances that she would still love him.

Where do you get this “ruler” stuff? In a “Traditional Marriage”, there is no ruler.
The husband and wife are equal. I have consistently said as much. They have separate responsibilities. The ideal role of the husband is that of protector and provider. The ideal role of the wife is caregiver and homemaker. The woman allows the husband to control the finances. When it comes to the home, the traditional wife just says what she wants. It’s up to the guy to figure out how to make it happen in order to keep his wife happy. But in order to do that, he most have full control of all the assets. It doesn't matter if she is working a job or not. He can't be doing one thing with part of the money while she's doing something else with another part of the money and be expected to make her wishes come true. If she were to do that, she'd be dooming him to failure. So what’s the point? Whose getting the better of the situation?

SheDevil
In your "perfect world scenario" you will ALWAYS be there, your wife will never have to make a decision, carry money or think for herself. She will simply live out her life serving you and the family, never needing more skills then how to bake a bunt and pin a sheet to a clothesline.

Brother Rapp
The guy spends out his life working his ass off and probably dies before she will. Who really gets the better of the situation?


SheDevil
So where does your "perfect" little family stand should you be removed from the picture? I will tell you where they will stand: lost, abandoned, disoriented, living in fear, and soon to be taken for all YOU were worth. Well now, isn't that a nice picture? Do you not feel that providing for your family includes seeing that they are wise, knowlegeable, and capable of being independent? Wouldn't the security of your family require that your wife run the household in your absence? Don't you see by being so controlling you are really forsaking your family?

Brother Rapp
If the woman has any sense she will try to duplicate the same situation that she had with another man. All she has to do is look good and appear weak. She’ll have her pick of men soon enough. Why screw with success?

 

[Brother_Rapp]

PRM
You really don't get it do you? She's my partner, she doesn't speak for me she speaks with me. But you've never had a partner so I guess you don't even know how that's possible.

Brother Rapp
Right now she's speaking at me through you. Sarah, the young man just doesn't get it does he? Why don't you pat him on the head, give him some milk and cookies and send him to bed, then you get on the computer and talk directly with me?

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Brother_Rapp


Brother Rapp
Right now she's speaking at me through you. Sarah, the young man just doesn't get it does he? Why don't you pat him on the head, give him some milk and cookies and send him to bed, then you get on the computer and talk directly with me?

*Sigh*
Just don't get it.

 

[SheDevil]

Originally posted by SheDevil
Brother Rapp

I had asked you (last Friday) what was the foundation of your beliefs?

Was it a religious up bringing?

In the past, did a woman take your money and run?

Did you idealize this type of relationship when you were growing up?

You are 58 years old, you mentioned your wife pasted away 9 years ago, you had been married 12 years, if I did my math right that would have made you about 37 when you married. What about before that, say from 20 - 35 years old, did a disastrous relationship form your current views?




Brother Rapp -

You skipped this part - I want to respond to it all at once.

I would really like to know how you gained your beliefs? Books, religion, relatives...? What has influenced you the most, your experiences or others teachings?

 

[Brother_Rapp]

SheDevil
I would really like to know how you gained your beliefs? Books, religion, relatives...? What has influenced you the most, your experiences or others teachings?

Brother Rapp
I learned in the general way all individuals learn (observations, trial and error and trying to understand the why of it all). Example: If a person has an automobile accident and drinking was the "why" of it, then it would follow that in order to cut down on the possibility of having an automobile accident one should not drink and drive.

I don't have to be the person that experienced this situation to know that there is validity in that example.


After learning about the possible results of drinking and driving, I could do it anyway and not have an accident. That does not mean that there is no validity in the previous example.

I could also be the person in the example and drink and drive again and have another accident. That would mean that I learned nothing from the past experience.

So I gather up a lot of information from a variety of sources and I chew them up in my brain. Then I search for the way of it all. Why do people do what they do. I've found it to be both interesting and enlightning.

What I've done is no different then what you could do, if you wanted. Look at different marriages. See if there is a general template that can be created for a successful (be careful as well as consistant as to your criteria for success) marriage.

Define what a "Traditional Marriage" is as well as a "Modern Marriage". What is the purpose of marriage? I would think that it is to have children and create an environment in which they can prosper and become good law a byeing citizens.Then these children go on and repeat the process. All of this is an effort to insure the survivability of the human race. Granted there are other reasons, but I don't think that there are more inportant reasons then this one for marriage.

Try to make an objective decision as to the results of these marriages from the various forms of information. Figure out why people do what they do in these marriages. Then decided which is the more desireble marriage for the probable out come of the main purpose of marriage.

 

[Brother_Rapp]

What are the reassons for getting married? Does anybody want to throw out some?