In a predicament

[Jets4129]

Do not do it. This is the same as nagging to get something done.(chore play) Dont budge until your ready. If at all. Its your house.
If anything if you like the girl and want to continue with her rent your house and buy another. But it has to be under your leadership.
But honestly I would think genuine desire is not there

If I had the finances I wouldn’t mind doing that but I simply don’t, it’s not financially feasible. I’m just getting by paying for the house

 

[Stuffnu]

Only one sentence is required
”No problem and there’s the door”.

 

[Stoic]

Is she Asian? I date almost exclusively Asian women. The way you describe her. This is something an Asian woman would say.

 

[Gamisch]

Is she Asian? I date almost exclusively Asian women. The way you describe her. This is something an Asian woman would say.

This is something ALL women say when there's more going on than meets the eye..I already sense that she'll come up with more bs sooner or later. But oke.

Just met a woman who lives in a truck with her bf...yes hippies, and yet he has a very good paying job ,she works as well.

But imagine the difference, gents . The REAL issue is that the shelf life of this relationship is dead...2 years is probably the most dangerous time to be with a woman. Take 1 year off and she would've been HAPPY to live with you in a piss smelling Honda civic from 1996.

I'd call her the F out and give her a (statistical) reality check. Many ,many people are struggling to get by. Your living situation makes you a BOSS. Tell her she can go, so you can rent out a room ( to ofcourse a woman), while you live there as well so you can ,ahum, " check your property probably ".

No joke. Tell her to get out. This complaining will only get worse and worse. Yo. I'll repeat. She crossed the line ,you thought about it and perhaps its better if she leaves because you need peace of mind. Be as ruthless as she is.

Seems there's a lack of attraction, respect, understanding of the current economical environment, the housing market, oh lack of respect for YOU and your family's property ect. She showed her hand, and its a losing one.

 

[The Duke]

@Gamisch said something very profound. He said "be as ruthless as she is". I think as men we don't do this enough these days in our long term relationships. It's created a lot of problems for men as a whole.

We try to understand, compromise, keep peace in these situations, overlooking her emotional/selfish motive that has nothing to do with love.

I had to learn to be ruthless. It's not my default with someone I care about, but it has been highly effective and kept my ass out of some financial binds. Not once when I had to get ruthless did any of them leave me.

 

[StonerT]

Hey whatsup guys, so I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for almost two years and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. So the problem is we both see ourselves in the long term togethor but she doesn’t like my house or the neighborhood I live (nice neighborhood just not her taste). She’s basically stating that she doesn’t know if she can be with me anymore if I plan on staying here long term because she hates living here and that I need to compromise and try and make her happy as well.
My thing is that this house has been in my family for a very long time, I got half off on the entire house, and it’s in a place where I know everyone and I do not want to get rid of it. I told her I’d think about it just to get her off my ass for a little bit, but I have to make a decision soon, either her or the house lol mind you she does care for me a lot but simply states she cannot live there. What do you guys think? Im leaning towards sticking with the house and cutting my ties unfortunately, tough decision but it is what it is.

Next time don't tell women about stuffs like "This is my family house, I got half of everything"
Why? Of course she feels you still living under your Momma roof. Context is everything dumbo

 

[Black Widow Void]

OP, I see that you're age 33.
By now, I'm sure that you've encountered the delusional woman that claims that she had the perfect boyfriend that 'suddenly' became abusive after marriage. Fact is... the signs were there before the marriage, but she either made excuses or refused to open her eyes.

In fairness, men can be equally self-delusional. I've known men that claimed to have married the 'perfect woman' that suddenly changed practically 'over night' after marriage. Fact is... the signs were there before the marriage, but he either made excuses or refused to open his eyes.

What I'm about to say may sting, but your girlfriend has provided you with the best gift. She has shown you her true colors and you didn't have to marry her first to find out.

Yes.... your girlfriend may be accommodating in the bedroom, nurturing, attractive, feminine and you may share a lot in common etc... But there's also the other realty. In just two short months after living under your roof, she has inadvertently expressed that her conveniences are more important than your foundation. And not just "expressed" ... she's giving you an ultimatum.

No matter how you try to rationalize this (I've done it too - we've all been there) you now know what is underneath all the shiny tinsel. If she has the audacity to give you this ultimatum while living under your roof.... just imagine how she'll behave - once she has you locked under a marital contract.

Re-read your initial post up above. This time, think of it as your best friend telling you his situation. Would you advise him to remain in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship like this?

 

[Jets4129]

Next time don't tell women about stuffs like "This is my family house, I got half of everything"
Why? Of course she feels you still living under your Momma roof. Context is everything dumbo

I could care less what she thinks of that sort of stuff, or anyone for that matter tbh. I’m pretty straight up with people, don’t really care what they think in regards to stuff like that

 

[Glassguy]

There are a lot of good comments on this. Just keep in mind @Jets4129 that you have invested 2 years in this chick, so things must be overall good.

While I would be firm in doing what you feel is the right thing for you to do regarding this situation, also realize that you are dealing with a woman who is trying to get her way and they act like CHILDREN.

For me to be in a serious and committed relationship, the chick must feel like I am "home" to her and she wont care where we live as long as she is with me.

Anything short of that and there is a more serious underlying issue.

But make sure that you communicate and dont totally stonewall her.

 

[Jets4129]

Is she Asian? I date almost exclusively Asian women. The way you describe her. This is something an Asian woman would say.

Haha no not Asian

 

[Jets4129]

This is something ALL women say when there's more going on than meets the eye..I already sense that she'll come up with more bs sooner or later. But oke.

Just met a woman who lives in a truck with her bf...yes hippies, and yet he has a very good paying job ,she works as well.

But imagine the difference, gents . The REAL issue is that the shelf life of this relationship is dead...2 years is probably the most dangerous time to be with a woman. Take 1 year off and she would've been HAPPY to live with you in a piss smelling Honda civic from 1996.

I'd call her the F out and give her a (statistical) reality check. Many ,many people are struggling to get by. Your living situation makes you a BOSS. Tell her she can go, so you can rent out a room ( to ofcourse a woman), while you live there as well so you can ,ahum, " check your property probably ".

No joke. Tell her to get out. This complaining will only get worse and worse. Yo. I'll repeat. She crossed the line ,you thought about it and perhaps its better if she leaves because you need peace of mind. Be as ruthless as she is.

Seems there's a lack of attraction, respect, understanding of the current economical environment, the housing market, oh lack of respect for YOU and your family's property ect. She showed her hand, and its a losing one.

100% she has no concept of finances, and doesn’t have a clue about how bad the housing market is and most likely will be, in my opinion, bad for the next 3-5 years at the very least. The lack of common sense followed by a MONSTER demand like moving or selling is perplexing. I will never bend the knee to that sort of thinking, but I am fascinated that someone can rationally think like that and press the issue. It’s amusing and fascinating in a strange way

 

[Gamisch]

100% she has no concept of finances, and doesn’t have a clue about how bad the housing market is and most likely will be, in my opinion, bad for the next 3-5 years at the very least. The lack of common sense followed by a MONSTER demand like moving or selling is perplexing. I will never bend the knee to that sort of thinking, but I am fascinated that someone can rationally think like that and press the issue. It’s amusing and fascinating in a strange way

Its amazing when you look at it RATIONALLY. But stop doing that.

I mean, if someone tells you they dont like the house due to reason xyz,they be-ttah have a be-ttah option available at the same moment....if she has the option to live in better neighborhood xyz, oke. That would make more sense. If that's not the case, then she's a lunatic.

I've been here a couple of times..in MY experience this means a woman has a double agenda and she's looking for a way out.

You made this thread for a reason bro...i know at this point you wanna paint the walls high glossy pink and move it on wheels to Hollywood or some fancy hood just to please her, but BELIEVE ME , she'll find something else.

It will become more and more personal aimed towards you, until the subject will become HER own garbage state if mind, and the REAL reason why she acts the way she does..and then she'll be forced to tell you the truth. Which she'll try to hide AGAIN by saying she "misses something lately "...


It's all too predictable.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

100% she has no concept of finances, and doesn’t have a clue about how bad the housing market is and most likely will be, in my opinion, bad for the next 3-5 years at the very least. The lack of common sense followed by a MONSTER demand like moving or selling is perplexing. I will never bend the knee to that sort of thinking, but I am fascinated that someone can rationally think like that and press the issue. It’s amusing and fascinating in a strange way

OP, next time you have movie night and it's your turn to pick, here's something you might like. A little Irish Potato Famine Drama to get the wheels turning a little bit:

Black '47 (2018) ⭐ 6.8 | Action, Drama, History

1h 40m | R

www.imdb.com

 

[Jets4129]

A little bit of an update: so we spoke and I stated I’m not getting rid of of the house under any circumstance, she offered the idea that we can both save up for another house and eventually rent the current house we’re living in out.
min not really a fan of this because as much as I got a judge discount on the house, I still have a mortgage and getting another house? In these times and the foreseeable future with home prices and mortgage rates? Just doesn’t seem plausible,and would lead to 20 years of of barely paying the bills, and that’s if I’m lucky, leaning more and more to pulling the plug on this one fellas

 

[Murk]

You're 33 with your own property, a massive achievement where I am from. I haven't read the whole thread but I bet she doesn't have a pot to piss in. You hold all the cards, king of your castle and the area is likely where you grew up and feel comfortable. She can f*ck right off.

I've had similar situations of girls not liking my location, however I know this area, yeah it's a little far out from central London, a little rough around the edges in parts, but it's my home, I've never been robbed/attacked/even approached in a negative way. They are usually living with parents or renting a shared house like rats in a cage. King of my mf castle never have it any other way.

 

[Jets4129]

Having a rental property or two is pretty cool

It is cool, but no shot can I afford another property at the moment. Don’t get me wrong I’m saving very good on the side, but I want to save up enough and buy a house straight cash way down the line

 

[zekko]

Hey whatsup guys, so I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for almost two years and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. So the problem is we both see ourselves in the long term togethor but she doesn’t like my house or the neighborhood I live (nice neighborhood just not her taste). She’s basically stating that she doesn’t know if she can be with me anymore if I plan on staying here long term because she hates living here and that I need to compromise and try and make her happy as well.

Run like hell. Most likely her dislike of the house is some sort of hidden resentment of you manifesting in her dissatisfaction with the living arrangements. She doesn't like that it's your home, and your neighborhood, and that you're happy there. No need to be an arse about it, but I see this as a sign of trouble ahead.

If you're in a good place financially (in part because of the house you live in), don't be pressured to move into a new one before you're ready, and it's a smart move.

 

[RangerMIke]

@Jets4129

This is the problem with women. They always want more. They are never satisfied for long. Its all emotional decision making. Most of the time, they don't even know what they want and once they get it....poof....they want something else. But I'll guarantee you she will appreciate what you can do for her with a new place that is to her liking! At least for a while.

Yep... this was my ex. We moved quite a bit while we were married, not her... it was me moving to where the work was. Every time she picked the house we bought. In every case she eventually found something she didn't like about it... then the b1tching started. There was nothing wrong with anyplace we lived... nothing.... but she wasn't happy so it was the fault of the house.... then every fvcking weekend we were painting walls, replacing floors, re-doing stairs... fighting with neighbors for some stupid BS or other.

It was the same thing with the parade of cars I bought for her. She wouldn't be driving it one year and she wanted a new one.... for some reason or another.

It is a miserable existence always trying to make someone happy, who has low happiness potential.

But it's the OP's life, as long as he understands that this is just the beginning... and it will not get any better.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yep... this was my ex. We moved quite a bit while we were married, not her... it was me moving to where the work was. Every time she picked the house we bought. In every case she eventually found something she didn't like about it... then the b1tching started. There was nothing wrong with anyplace we lived... nothing.... but she wasn't happy so it was the fault of the house.... then every fvcking weekend we were painting walls, replacing floors, re-doing stairs... fighting with neighbors for some stupid BS or other.

It was the same thing with the parade of cars I bought for her. She wouldn't be driving it one year and she wanted a new one.... for some reason or another.

It is a miserable existence always trying to make someone happy, who has low happiness potential.

But it's the OP's life, as long as he understands that this is just the beginning... and it will not get any better.

Unless the collapse comes and her main concern becomes survival. But in that case, OP will have other pressing concerns needless to say.