Seduced a young single mother who works at a cafe about 3 years ago. Used all the classic PUA tactics, got her to fall in love with me, and eventually moved into her place (I know, I know).
Things were pretty good, though I never really felt "in love" at the time. What I really enjoyed was her company in small doses: I work just across the street from where she is and would always visit her there on my break. It was just pleasant.
The power was always mine, she definitely was more into me than I was into her. This went on for about 2.5 years. I got comfortable, far too comfortable. Less interested in sex, working a lot and pursuing a degree stressed me out and I neglected her.
I cheated on her one night, came home with a hickey, and tried to lie about it. Drama ensued, I finally admitted to cheating, and I started losing my frame and power.
Then she starts telling me about a coworker of hers that is an "artist" and giving her gifts and ****. I brush it off, never act jealous. She tells me one night that she's going to a party with her friend (I couldn't because of work) and I stupidly oblige her.
Well, she made out with the guy and the next night gave me the "I'm confused" line. She told me that I've been so cold and so distant with her for so long, and that talking to this other guy felt so natural. At first, I agreed with her, told her maybe she needs a guy who is more in touch with his feelings.
The next day, as I was beginning to pack my things, something hit me. I felt a great sense of loss and guilt for how I had neglected this girl that loved me so much. I emailed her saying just that. All of a sudden she's crying and says "I don't want to lose you", telling me she's going to give me one more chance. I again, stupidly, oblige. Three days later, I'm getting jealous that she's still texting this coworker, basically having an emotional affair. I get drunk and act a fool, suggest that its too late and the damage has been done. She gets teary and nods her head, I get angry and leave that night. Come back the next four nights, we have sex and talk about "us". Another big mistake. I'm trying to play it cool, but inside I'm really damaged and realize I don't want to lose this girl.
Its been a little over a month now and I am seriously ****ed up. I'm basically alone in a ****ty town with mostly low quality unattractive women. My now ex girlfriend works across the street and I no longer have that comfort of going there to talk to her. I'm trying not to be a *****, but I've honestly never felt this way before. I can't even cry, I tried to a couple times to "get it out" but its like a huge void in my chest is just gradually killing me.
I've contacted her. Spent the night over there recently. Tried to kiss her, she backed off and told me she can't. Proceeds to tell me all the reasons she broke it off, its always something different. In my heart I know its because she wants to **** her coworker. The next morning, hungover, I went through her text messages. Saw some pretty revealing things, she had been talking to this guy ABOUT ME behind my back for a while now.
I told her that I saw the texts and that I felt like she used me. Got pouty and accused her of branch swinging on me and just keeping me around for comfort. She got super pissed, a side of her I had never seen before, and told me to get the **** out. I immediately felt guilty.
I don't know, I'm just so lost now. She's already booked a weekend getaway in New York with this new guy. He does all the things that I avoided like constantly buying her gifts and **** and he's already said in a text "I think I'm falling in love with you". To me it seems like he's AFC and maybe that's what my ex wants but I'm willing to accept he has more game than me.
I admit, I'm hanging on to the slim hope that this guy is just a fling and that she's going to miss me and want me back eventually. Even though I know its ridiculous. I know the rule of thumb is never go back to a girl who dumped you, but I'm rationalizing it as I was the one who cheated and lied first.
I just really miss her, and I keep swaying back and forth from guilt to how I ruined a good thing and anger as to the way she's brushed me off. Trying to stay no contact and it is not easy.
I'm not even sure what I want to hear from you guys, just needed to get that off my chest. I miss her so much sometimes that I have trouble breathing.
Things were pretty good, though I never really felt "in love" at the time. What I really enjoyed was her company in small doses: I work just across the street from where she is and would always visit her there on my break. It was just pleasant.
The power was always mine, she definitely was more into me than I was into her. This went on for about 2.5 years. I got comfortable, far too comfortable. Less interested in sex, working a lot and pursuing a degree stressed me out and I neglected her.
I cheated on her one night, came home with a hickey, and tried to lie about it. Drama ensued, I finally admitted to cheating, and I started losing my frame and power.
Then she starts telling me about a coworker of hers that is an "artist" and giving her gifts and ****. I brush it off, never act jealous. She tells me one night that she's going to a party with her friend (I couldn't because of work) and I stupidly oblige her.
Well, she made out with the guy and the next night gave me the "I'm confused" line. She told me that I've been so cold and so distant with her for so long, and that talking to this other guy felt so natural. At first, I agreed with her, told her maybe she needs a guy who is more in touch with his feelings.
The next day, as I was beginning to pack my things, something hit me. I felt a great sense of loss and guilt for how I had neglected this girl that loved me so much. I emailed her saying just that. All of a sudden she's crying and says "I don't want to lose you", telling me she's going to give me one more chance. I again, stupidly, oblige. Three days later, I'm getting jealous that she's still texting this coworker, basically having an emotional affair. I get drunk and act a fool, suggest that its too late and the damage has been done. She gets teary and nods her head, I get angry and leave that night. Come back the next four nights, we have sex and talk about "us". Another big mistake. I'm trying to play it cool, but inside I'm really damaged and realize I don't want to lose this girl.
Its been a little over a month now and I am seriously ****ed up. I'm basically alone in a ****ty town with mostly low quality unattractive women. My now ex girlfriend works across the street and I no longer have that comfort of going there to talk to her. I'm trying not to be a *****, but I've honestly never felt this way before. I can't even cry, I tried to a couple times to "get it out" but its like a huge void in my chest is just gradually killing me.
I've contacted her. Spent the night over there recently. Tried to kiss her, she backed off and told me she can't. Proceeds to tell me all the reasons she broke it off, its always something different. In my heart I know its because she wants to **** her coworker. The next morning, hungover, I went through her text messages. Saw some pretty revealing things, she had been talking to this guy ABOUT ME behind my back for a while now.
I told her that I saw the texts and that I felt like she used me. Got pouty and accused her of branch swinging on me and just keeping me around for comfort. She got super pissed, a side of her I had never seen before, and told me to get the **** out. I immediately felt guilty.
I don't know, I'm just so lost now. She's already booked a weekend getaway in New York with this new guy. He does all the things that I avoided like constantly buying her gifts and **** and he's already said in a text "I think I'm falling in love with you". To me it seems like he's AFC and maybe that's what my ex wants but I'm willing to accept he has more game than me.
I admit, I'm hanging on to the slim hope that this guy is just a fling and that she's going to miss me and want me back eventually. Even though I know its ridiculous. I know the rule of thumb is never go back to a girl who dumped you, but I'm rationalizing it as I was the one who cheated and lied first.
I just really miss her, and I keep swaying back and forth from guilt to how I ruined a good thing and anger as to the way she's brushed me off. Trying to stay no contact and it is not easy.
I'm not even sure what I want to hear from you guys, just needed to get that off my chest. I miss her so much sometimes that I have trouble breathing.
