Imagination gets chicks

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Trust me nigga.

Today, I opened this one hot hottie short girl who is sooo damn hot for 5'3. She was sitting across from me in the room and I was like, "DIMEBAG, you need to find a way to talk to this beautiful specimen called a slut or you will not smoke weed tonight."

So I did what I did best. I used my resources( the whole room of people also known as group theory by many keyboard jockeys in these parts) and used context(I was in film class) and totally was like "Hey Ms. ---- , I'm gonna be shooting a very important and exciting film soon that is loosely based on Rambo which is only the coolest action, drama, romance ever to grace a screen. And I need " And I go off with these insane ideas about bears and penguins and big scar faced chinese guys like that guy who is in those Jeane Claude Van Damme movies." Every started crackin up and I lit up everything. And then I started asking people if they knew where I could find a live grizzly bear and other wild animals that obviously can't be found.. And with that I led the convo to Her...and she gave me a big smile and a sparkle in her eye and I knew I was in. She gave me her teddy bear and I was like "Yo dawg, this aint gon do" and so I gave it back to her as a Christmas present and she laughed and laughed everytime I'd say something. I got closer to her and was like "...You..wanna be in my movie?!" and she enthusiastically said yes. And I was like "Can you handle an AK-47 and a hunk like me to fight?" And she was like "ooh, I don't know"

"Oh, I might fire you already"
She was like please don't..

And so I gave her a hard time, and commented on her pearl necklace and rubbed her collarbone as I picked it up(she has gorgeous tits) and she gave me the this look as if I could just whip it out and slap her with it.

Then I made her leave and go find me a grizzly bear and she actually went outside and in long story short. I got the damn number( for when I need to get in "contact" with her about "business") and then walked her to class gave her KINO sparingly...ooh man, the forecast for this girl calls for Strong Penis Thrust with, Heavy PM jack off juice showers and female attachment to the one they call Dime the temperature is gonna be 169 degrees so grab your umbrellas and KY Jelly, oops I mean UV lotion because its gonna be a crazy one.

And then an hour later, I go back into the class to finish some editing on a movie and theres another girl. A blonde HB7 and from the face she's a 9 but the body is like not matching so...
Anywho, I open her and her group up and we start chatting and I find out that I used to sell cocaine to her brother and then I start negging her. And then she starts talking about how her parents are getting her a car this weekend. I was like "Nigga b*tch, you must be the gold diggin type eh?" and she gives me a look, smiles and pushes my face and slaps my chest very hard.. I was in! And then I asked her what she was gonna get and she was like
"My parents better not get me anything under a 2002 because those cars are really old"

I gave her this look and she was like "what?"

I told her to get a BMW and she was like "well thats what I actually want"

And I was like "GREAT! Now that your finally getting a nice car you are taking me out on a date next tuesday!"

Every dude was like..."Doh"

She was like "HA HA HA, really?"(with a crazy look)

Me: Yep, and you're gonna drive me around in your cool BMW all over town!

Her:And you want me to take us to a steak diner too?!

Me: "well of course! I demand only the best"

and she laughed and I slipped a piece of paper and was like "yo nig, digits right thurr"

and the whole time I was just playing around and not being serious at all and I was expecting a rejected paper but she wrote her home, cell and AOL s/n.

And I was like "yeeah, and if your later I'll never speak to you again, GOT IT!?"

She was like "YES SIR" and then I went to go smoke a joint.

30 minutes later I come back to finish some more touches on my editing and the same 3-4 girls I posted about in the other post were in and as usual in unison they were like "HEY DIME!"

And I was like "Nigga blaaaack!" and I sat down and did some editing as to not come off as desperate for them or whatever you call it and 5 minutes into it one comes up and asks if I was talking to her online last night(obvious approach) and I was like "yeah, maybe I'm busy though so peace out dawg" and she left..and like a few minutes later some dude comes in and starts chatting to the girls but because he doesn't know..."the way"...like I know it, he only focuses on the chick that is actually hot. Wrong move assmunch!

I approached the 5 set and started talking to dude and then moved to the neglected girls and they were all of sudden competing for me! For the first time I wasnt blind to what was really going on! These girls were putting each other down to make themselves look better in front of me..and I was like "sooo, ladies why must you all fawn over my friend here?"

And they gave me and dude a look and laughed and kept talking to me and somehow in the sequence I smoothly transition to the hottie and totally blow the other guy out of any communication as I'm negging HB8 and riding her emotions. And then I asked her what her favorite drink was(take notes you c*nts) and she replied "coffee" BINGO I'm in like William H. Taft stuck to a bathtub. Now this girl was obviously been taught a few tricks because I did some cold reading and ESP and she said she felt as if I was making this stuff up. Maybe I was getting a little insecure so I closed her with the drink question because with that I asked her "whats your favorite coffee shop, cafe thing?" And she replied with various and she mentioned one that I liked and there I suggested(the game is all about suggestion) coffee date and she agreed and so I got the number and if it doesn't snow so bad tomorrow I'm on for 6 o clock in the evening. After this I call her boring and go back to the other 3 girls.

I started talking to them and neggin them extremely. They were cracking up and dissing each other and obviously wanting to show that they were more valuable then the next girl.. and so they try to impress me with stories of them doing "crazy" sh*t and I told them that they were boring ..They were in shock. And so they were like, we wanna drink with you! And I was like
"Nigga please! I'm the tri county drinker of the year, 2 time Jack Daniel's MVP, 2004 Evan Williams Student of the year and I'm on my way to getting a degree in Alcoholism."

And then they responded with some bullsh*t about how they like to drink vodka straight and lots of it and I was like

"And that would be the day I see Michael Jackson turn back to his blackness" and so I challenged them and got the digits and I'm on for next weekend with these 3 chicks..When I'm through with those vaginas that whole house is gonna become a re-enaction of the the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Niggasaki.

Yeah, use imagination for other than releasing jack off juices and you will as Bruce Lee puts it "Enter the Poon" aww yeah, black man out

Black dog out.
 
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Maybnoob

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Stop saying nigga you fuking prick. You live a sad pathetic life
 
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Ok, my bad if I posted that word on my post. I'm sorry! I apologize! Please don't hurt me. Just act like those N words are other words.
 

Clayton

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great story man. very very entertaining. a little long, but great material lol
 

DaKidS3

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"ooh man, the forecast for this girl calls for Strong Penis Thrust with, Heavy PM jack off juice showers and female attachment to the one they call Dime the temperature is gonna be 169 degrees so grab your umbrellas and KY Jelly, oops I mean UV lotion because its gonna be a crazy one.

I was like "Nigga b*tch, you must be the gold diggin type eh?"

I find out that I used to sell cocaine to her brother

I slipped a piece of paper and was like "yo nig, digits right thurr"

then I went to go smoke a joint.

I was like "Nigga blaaaack!"

"Nigga please! I'm the tri county drinker of the year, 2 time Jack Daniel's MVP, 2004 Evan Williams Student of the year and I'm on my way to getting a degree in Alcoholism."

When I'm through with those vaginas that whole house is gonna become a re-enaction of the the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Niggasaki.


Yeah, use imagination for other than releasing jack off juices and you will as Bruce Lee puts it "Enter the Poon" aww yeah, black man out"





Good stuff, but you sound like the biggest tool.
 

Vilempror

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Why do you say nigga so much?

Are you and/or any of these girls black?
 
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Originally posted by DaKidS3
"ooh man, the forecast for this girl calls for Strong Penis Thrust with, Heavy PM jack off juice showers and female attachment to the one they call Dime the temperature is gonna be 169 degrees so grab your umbrellas and KY Jelly, oops I mean UV lotion because its gonna be a crazy one.

I was like "Nigga b*tch, you must be the gold diggin type eh?"

I find out that I used to sell cocaine to her brother

I slipped a piece of paper and was like "yo nig, digits right thurr"

then I went to go smoke a joint.

I was like "Nigga blaaaack!"

"Nigga please! I'm the tri county drinker of the year, 2 time Jack Daniel's MVP, 2004 Evan Williams Student of the year and I'm on my way to getting a degree in Alcoholism."

When I'm through with those vaginas that whole house is gonna become a re-enaction of the the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Niggasaki.


Yeah, use imagination for other than releasing jack off juices and you will as Bruce Lee puts it "Enter the Poon" aww yeah, black man out"





Good stuff, but you sound like the biggest tool.
How so?
 

Roobs

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HAHAHHA!!!! GOLD!!!!

Man i laughed my ass off readint this post

"she gave me the this look as if I could just whip it out and slap her with it."

GOLD GOLD GOLD!!

Dimebag u sound like you arew the blackest man alive...lol i bet u got hops 2.........nice wok with the womens though
 
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yeah, one thing though my friend. I'm not black.
 

jenzos

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comical.. yet it seems that you are living this perfect fantasy and i cant figure out if you just make all this **** up.
 

splinterkb

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If you guys think he sounds like a tool, you need to reword your game. He played those *****es perfectly. Props.
 

DaKidS3

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Originally posted by splinterkb
If you guys think he sounds like a tool, you need to reword your game. He played those *****es perfectly. Props.
Has nothing to do with his game.

He said "nigga" like 50 times, yet he isn't black.

ooh man, the forecast for this girl calls for Strong Penis Thrust with, Heavy PM jack off juice showers and female attachment to the one they call Dime the temperature is gonna be 169 degrees so grab your umbrellas and KY Jelly, oops I mean UV lotion because its gonna be a crazy one.

I'm the tri county drinker of the year, 2 time Jack Daniel's MVP, 2004 Evan Williams Student of the year and I'm on my way to getting a degree in Alcoholism."
That sh*t is just corny.
 
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OK OK OK OK.

Apparently half the c*nts that replied to my Field Report *Breaking FUKIN NEWS!*

THIS WAS A FIELD REPORT WITH A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE ADVICE!!!!!


Half did not even READ my post and only read nigga and other jargon that is not understandable by those in denial of their own insecurities.

To put the crap about me being redneck etc..to rest, I'd like to state one time and one time only a few things about me and I'm going to make them perfectly clear:

1)I'm not a racist. I was born in the ghetto, projects, streets etc.. and many of my friends are AFRICAN AMERICAN.

2)I'm not a redneck. Yes I live in Arkansas which is stereotypically known as being hillbilly and incest central and first off the rest of the state might hold these statements true but I currently live in the #1 area in the United States for any kind of financial, educational or economic growth so f*ck you.

3) I am not racist

4) I will fight you

5)I like KFC biscuits

6)I am not your typical poster. For some reason my posts tend to entertain half of the readers and totally piss off the other half and in honesty if you are in the half that is offended by a post or reply made by a stranger that lives possibly tens of thousands of miles away from you on a dating discussion forum, please seek help and I mean this with sincerity and my utmost concern for you,

and finally

7) I stronly recommend and encourage heavy amounts of alcohol to be consumed daily as well as watching Beavis and Butthead.

-------------------------------------------------

on Field Report


I'm sorry if I didn't post my field report like this:

So its Tuesday, December 14 2005 3:00 central time.

I just got back from the club. I am siked because I approached 3 AMOGS, 2 UGs and 0 HBs.

I was sitting in the corner. I was imagining being a lion, a tiger, a predator out for prey. It relaxed me. Exactly 5 minutes later I approached her. Her name was Jane. I said

Me: Hi, my name ****. Whats your name?

Her:Get away from me

I feel as if I made success in the fact that I am getting rejected. But at the same time I"M SOO PISSED OFF

--uggh BROKEN RECORD---

That sh*t isnt gonna cut it.

An update on my progress can be viewed on my follow up thread which is reader friendly for the most part.
 
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Soprano

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saying....typing even worse... "nigga" that much isnt imagination, it's being a loser. being white makes it even worse. and no "having black friends" doesnt solve everything.

that would be like me calling you a redneck wigger then saying "oh its cool i was born in the suburbs, the rich neighbourhood... many of my friends are WHITE"
 
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dirtyvibe

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Originally posted by Soprano
saying....typing even worse... "nigga" that much isnt imagination, it's being a loser. being white makes it even worse. and no "having black friends" doesnt solve everything.

that would be like me calling you a redneck wigger then saying "oh its cool i was born in the suburbs, the rich neighbourhood... many of my friends are WHITE"
quit being a hater

darrel is just cooler than you!
 

broadsword303

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All this N-word garbage is hypocrisy! White people get called every name in the book, but they can't say certain words themselves, even jokingly? If people didn't want Whities using the N-word, they shouldn't develop a culture where every other word used is 'nigga'.

Great post though, Dimebag.:D
 
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DaKidS3

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I wasn't offended at all, I just think that particular post was somewhat corny. That's all. I enjoyed reading it for the most part, but some of the stuff was corny. That's all.
 
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well, part of it was supposed to sound corny because of the way I put it, but I guess you've got to hear people talk like I write and you'd find it halarious, trust me.

Anyhow, merry f*ckin christmas.
 
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