I'm tired.

[CornbreadFed]

Ignore @CornbreadFed . He's been on some BS lately about how awful the dating world is because he thinks he's dating a unicorn or something, at least from what I've read

Pretty sad when OP is hostile towards my method and makes this topic.

 

[BPH]

The reason why I came up with "you caught my eye..just had to shoot my shot" as an opener is because I used to always go up and open with a compliment on her appearance instead like you did in your example, and on the off occasion I got a bad reaction it was like rewarding bad behavior, so I stopped that. It also usually closed off the interaction right away, and wouldn't lead to convo nearly as often since it was direct and they would instinctively jump to an excuse right away, with no room for me to work. It's like showing all of your cards imo. If they are receptive, then I pay them the compliment to show intent. Fair?

You can do what works for you. Like I said, I'm nitpicking, but I would probably open with something that sounds less invested in whether or not she likes me.

Suggesting that we buy drinks together, will definitely try that. Didn't think of that. But if we ditch her friend for a drink and she goes back at some point, I'm thinking her friend would talk **** and try to talk her out of it. Seems like a group of 2 is much harder to separate than one girl from a group of 3+, since they'd have each other.

If she's interested, and you're doing your job, she won't go back to her friend. Going back to her friend means she's more interested in that friend than you.

In my experience, the girl will either text her friend to let her know she's ok and with me, or will try to find the friend WITH ME to let her know that we're leaving together.

With the self-eject part..so the only mistake I made there was not suggesting something like postgame and seeing what could be done that night? So what if I say, hey let's do this at my place, and she responds with, "what about my friend" or "sorry, I can't leave my friend." Then going for the number in that case is the best I can pretty much do right?

I like to say "so what are you doing after this?" If she gives you an answer that opens the door; "nothing", "I don't know yet", "why don't you tell me", etc then you'd invite yourself over/offer to leave together. From there it becomes logistics. Like you, I don't really have the option of bringing women to my place since I'm living with my parents right now, so I have to invite myself over, which isn't usually a problem.

If she answers with something along the lines of work, her friend, some other BS then she's probably not that interested. The only real caveat is if she offers some other night that she's free/is receptive when you offer it. Experience will help you pick up on whether she means or it vs. just telling you what you want to hear so you'll go away.

ALL OF THIS should only happen IF she's shown she's attracted to you - ideally by escalating at least to the point of a kiss. This is not some sort of Hail Mary you throw out when she's focusing more on her friends or her phone than on you.

It was around 9pm at the time if that matters. Isn't that a bit early for postgame? And it wouldn't be a turnoff if I suggested we do something at her place? I ask because I'm actually staying in an airBNB and can't have another guest over rn. I wouldn't even know how to suggest that because I normally just tell them I'd like to show them something at my place, not theirs. If I just alright suggest sex at hers, that ASD would prob kick in, I'm thinking.

Yeah I would definitely go out later. In Delaware bars close at 1AM, so I usually go out around 11PM, 10:30PM at the earliest. It is often true that there are more girls out at the bar earlier in the night - but they are not usually there for the same reason you are. I typically stay until close unless I meet someone and leave with them earlier, so the idea of inviting myself over makes more sense because it's the natural progression of the night - rather than cutting short an otherwise fun night out for her.

You don't usually need an excuse. If you've escalated and she's shown attraction to you, then you really just need to facilitate sex. If she says she's going home afterwards, ask her if she'd like company. If she's worried about work in the morning or has obligations, tell her you'll set an alarm. This all ties back to whether she's interested enough, it's the difference between her saying these things waiting for your reassurance vs. using them as excuses.

ASD won't be a thing if she's attracted to you and you're alone together. She might offer some last minute resistance about how she "never does anything like this", in which case you just need to reassure her that you won't think less of her for sleeping with a total stranger (you).

 

[Jor-El]

Its tough...but dont let strangers define your worth

 

[Bokanovsky]

I've cold approached so many times. My game is infinitely better than what it used to be, but the process of going into the city and hitting on girls is taking a heavy toll. I felt the urge to write this out because I went out yesterday, as I usually do, bar hopped and hit on some girls. I ended the night with hitting on this very attractive girl that was super receptive, open to taking her out after I told her I'll see her wild side (related to some Miami talk). She was at the table with her girl friend so I took her number after a conversation and left them to it.

You can never truly tell but that felt like a slam dunk, in the bag. Texted her later on. Ghosted, no response. So ****ing sick of this ****. Normally, I'd just take it on the chin and keep going, but I feel like giving up every day at this point.

Most of my approaches on done on the street in the city, with some that turn out to brutal rejections lol. It feels inhumane to be ignored,etc. when I'm trying to start a conversation. I've had a really bad time since moving to the city..I thought it'd be better with more social 'opportunities' but I'm getting nicked.

I'm above average in looks and very fit. Been working out for many years. I'm not butt ugly FYI

I just want to rant. We do all of this for so little in return. It feels like an attrition test on the soul to the extreme.

I question myself every day if it's worth it. Yes, I've improved substantially, even socially but it ain't even fun anymore.

I'm running out of steam.

Cold approach is the telemarketing of the dating world. High effort, low reward. Even if you are good looking and have game. It's no way to live a life.

 

[BPH]

Cold approach is the telemarketing of the dating world. High effort, low reward. Even if you are good looking and have game. It's no way to live a life.

Disagree.

What is lower effort than walking up to somebody and saying hi?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Disagree.

What is lower effort than walking up to somebody and saying hi?

Doing it dozens or hundreds of times, for hours on end, is not low effort.

 

[BPH]

Doing it dozens or hundreds of times, for hours on end, is not low effort.

Yes it is, especially compared to the alternatives.

1. Be incredibly attractive and tall so girls come up to you instead
2. Have a massive social media following/be famous so girls are in your DMs, or are at the very least receptive to your messages
3. Create a huge social circle network of hot women that you can regularly dip your toes into
4. Spend a bunch of money creating top-tier dating app profiles where you're still competing with hundreds of similar guys for matches with average women who think they're 10s
5. Accumulate massive amounts of wealth/be born rich so you can lead with your wallet and attract the hot materialistic girls

Or...

Walk up to the hot girls that are in front of you right now and see how it goes.

 

[Gamisch]

Pretty sad when OP is hostile towards my method and makes this topic.

??? What happened?

 

[jhonny9546]

I occasionally run into people from my hometown, like the motorcycle mechanic who knew me as a kid.

They ask the same old questions: "Got a girlfriend?" "Still talking to Emma? She's a good match, loaded... did you get her pregnant?" He jokes.

It makes me wonder how these men are so "blue-pilled," living lives untouched by reality.
People like this mechanic, married fathers, are very popular, even suggested I should have pursued this "high-value" woman.

She's the perfect woman for a "beta" male: masculine, rich (daddy owns a business), materialistic, with a ton of red flags, especially mentally. Guys like my mechanic are willing to take her every day abuse.

It makes me realize a 30-year-old can be wiser than a 60-year-old.
Even tho He could have half of experiences.
Age is just a number, and being a real man is rare.

One thing I just found out, is that DJ, players and womanizer are not seing good here. Those men could be seen as attractive to damaged women, but not to the "good" ones.

Rather, being father like, or being a Mature Men, it's pretty different.
That is seen as very attractive