Jibbles, I wish you lived in California. I want to help you and see you improve so badly! It's probably because I know exactly what you feel like, and I see myself in your opening post. I still haven't had a girlfriend, and it baffles me, but I have accepted it and moved on. I just keep on going and improving my life- whether it be through school, working out (I too work out 5 days a week), or doing things I am passionate about.
The funny thing is, although I haven't had a girlfriend, I have bigger balls than all of my friends except my wingman. After all those years of frustration I finally realized I had to improve myself, so I started talking to girls. First it was girls in my social circle, then girls in school, then random girls. So what I'm saying is, something that I thought totally sucked turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. My lack of a girlfriend pushed me to overcome my fears and become great at talking to girls. It blows my mind now when one of my friends can't go up to a girl and chat her up. I guess in the end I got the last laugh
I'm going to respond to a few things you said. I'm gonna try to keep this organized, because there are so many things I want to say to you. These are in no special order:
1)
Don't let the fact that people have girlfriends get you down. I used to see people at school, at the mall, everywhere walking hand in hand with girls. I thought, "How the hell does this AFC have a girl with him?" It used to make me angry. But now I have realized something:
most guys lack balls and got their girlfriend through their social circle. They did very little to get her, so it's not something you should even waste five seconds of your life being upset about. Most guys completely lack game. They are "betas." Most likely the only thing they have over you is that they aren't afraid to escalate. That's the only difference.
The fact that you are on this site means that you are working to improve yourself with women; an area in life most guys never even bother to work on. If you can go up and talk to a random girl then you have the ability to do something that most guys could never work up the courage to do in their lifetime. They're going to get married and die having never conquered their fear. So again, if you are out there doing approaches, I applaud you.
2)
Don't worry about the first kiss. I was so worried about my first kiss being awkward that I sabotaged a few situations where I could have had an easy makeout. It ended up being the opposite...The first girl I made out with told her friend that I was a "naturally good kisser." I've only made out with a few girls, but it's so damn easy man don't even worry about it.
3)
People are hypocrites. I know how annoying it was when people would tell me, "Others have it worse off," or, "Don't worry about it, man. Having a girlfriend isn't that big of a deal." I literally had one friend tell me this while that same week he had just met a new girl and was raving about her 24/7. People used to tell me this all the time, and I would always laugh...because most of the time they had a girlfriend/boyfriend! So disregard idiotic hypocrites like that.
4)
Don't get stuck with online dating. As much as I like Jariel's posts I disagree with him. The girls on dating sites (at YOUR age) are picky, stuck-up, mental cases that are keyboard jockeys. 90% of the girls you message won't reply back or will send you a nasty message. But here's the funny thing: if I approached those same girls in real life they would probably be super cool and I would probably get their number.
My point is, girls use online dating for an ego boost. The same way guys act like "internet tough guys," girls do on online dating. Those girls on dating sites act nothing like that in real life. Girls are naturally BETA. Remember that. If you have the balls to approach them and carry on a decent conversation then you will start to understand this. They blush, stroke their hair, do what you tell them to, etc. They are beta as hell in real life.
So at your age, and your experience level, DO NOT use online dating as a crutch. Also, it will probably cause you MORE frustration and just become a major headache for you. Which is something you don't need right now. Like I said, the girls on there act totally stuck up, and you'll have to message many, many girls to even get on a date with one. (Unless you are very experienced with online game, but that is another topic entirely, and you need real world experience first.)
5)
Work on your inner game! This is very important. I didn't realize how important it was until almost a year after I got into this stuff (when I was 19). Your inner game is a big part of how well you do with women. It will affect your ability to approach them and hold a conversation with them.
Your inner game is part will and part experience.
The part that is
will is stuff you have the willpower to change. Such as your body, your knowledge, your ability to do unique things (hobbies), etc. For me it's things like knowing how to play guitar, going to the gym, being well versed on global issues, knowing a lot of music trivia, improving my grades, learning soccer, and quitting smoking.
Your
experiences are things that you don't necessarily choose. They are circumstances and things that happen in your life that make you stronger. They enrich you in a way. For me it was going through two deaths in my family, one in which I found the body and tried to perform CPR on it. Both these incidents were hard on me, but they improved my inner game A LOT. How can you be scared of girls after you've picked up the dead body of your loved one?
Another example is, a couple years ago I spent three months living in Costa Rica by myself on a boat. My boss needed someone to watch over his boat, so he asked me. I was 19 and I took him up on it. Living in a foreign country on my own, where I didn't know the language, made me a much more mature individual than my friends were at the time.
So anyways, I'm talking about myself a little too much, but you get the picture. Think about your past experiences: how have they made you a stronger, better person?
I wish you the best of luck. Keep us updated. You WILL get that first kiss! Keep calm and sarge on.
-Speedball