I'm so on edge right now. I've reached the breaking point fellas.

[MrJibbles]

I'm a 21 year-old kissless virgin and have been contemplating this for a while. I snapped tonight and made a decision. I'm going to bang a hooker. Hopefully tomorrow. I am totally broke, but will try to sell my xbox, xbox accessories, and maybe a bunch of books.
It's reached that point. No turning back.

My desperation, anxiety, and irritability is so high that it's impossible for me to attract, build rapport with, seduce, and ultimately sleep with a girl. I can barely even talk to my own female cousins, it's ridiculous. ALL I can think about is SEX SEX AND MORE SEX. I cannot focus.

In the Blueprint Decoded, Tyler Durden joked about guys who haven't got laid in a long while. It's like all these psychiatrists and medical professionals are trying to figure out what's wrong with guy, why is he acting so weird? Why is he being like that? It ultimately turns out that the dude just needed to get laid.

That guy is me. I'm so fed up with this. People keep asking me "Why don't you have a girlfriend/are dating right now?" I have self-esteem, intimacy, social anxiety issues and they really keep me from being outgoing and acting normal around girls. In another thread I mentioned how a girl basically "raped" me and got on top of me and STILL I didn't make the move to hook up with her. Another girl had a huge crush on me and got my number from my cousin and tried to initiate everything but STILL i pussied out. I keep beating myself up to this day for doing that. I keep getting friendzoned and it's p***ing me off big time.

Last Saturday, my cousin had her birthday party. Later I was surrounded by tons of pretty girls flashing me IOIs, brushing up against me, initiating conversation, hitting on me, etc.... but i was really drunk and high and acting weird. I sabotaged myself for some reason.

But this is it. I'm sick of being some chump who acts weird around the opposite sex. When I see an attractive girl, all I think about is whether I'd bang her or not. Unattractive girls don't even show up on my radar. I have to get out of this mindset, and believe banging a hooker is my only option.

All this "you are the prize", kino escalation, neg theory, social proof, blablabla PUA stuff is not working out for me. I've been sooooo deprived that I can't act normal. I'm taking meds for depression and anxiety right now, but they are only treating the symptoms, not the cause, which, I believe, is the fact that I feel I have no control over getting girls. I have had this problem for years and am so sick of it.

Wish me luck, fellas. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Also, any idea on around how much this will cost me?

 

[OC Speedball]

21 and Never Kissed a Girl:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=186378

about 7 months later...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=191086


These threads were by me. Read them my friend, and hang in there. I know how you feel. And TRUST ME when I say I know how you feel...because I really do. I am 21 also, and it took me 21 years to kiss a girl I had many missed opportunities in high school as well. Once I got that first kiss though my confidence went through the roof. I have made out with three girls since January, and I now tease girls and slap their asses all the time. I just number closed a girl in front of her mom on Sunday.

HANG IN THERE!

 

[Slickster]

Sounds like you are wasting your money.

If previous girls are giving you opportunities that you fail to capitalize on then how are you going to get the job done with hired help?

Even if you go thru with it, it will change nothing going forward.

There are millions of guys just like you having the same problems.

 

[MisterD]

I understand your frustration, and sometimes this forum does more harm than good because it keeps beating thoughts of game, women, and sex into your head repeatedly. you see all these guys turning their lives around and getting lucky and you wonder why it hasn't worked for you.

i think you just need to focus your energy on other things. i also wouldnt suggest banging a hooker. what if you get anxious when the time comes? that will further your depression/anxiety. or if you do go through with it, that still won't improve your ability to attract regular women and establish relationships with them. banging a hooker won't improve your success with women. it just means you paid for sex. ultimately it's your decision but i think you just need to hang in there. stop worrying about women so much. i land more women when i'm not looking for them/focusing on game than i do when i am focused on game. go figure

anyways. hang in there. good luck bro

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Ok, firstly I'm gonna say I have nothing against sex with hookers, did it myself when I was 18 in Amsterdam, didn't enjoy it though but that's beside the point.
However, the problem you have isnt that you'l haven't had sex, it's that you have no idea how to go about getting it, banging a hooker won't solve that, it will just temporarily kill the desperation, which for a 21 year old man isn't going to last long.
What you need to do is work on what you need to improve on... When I was 21 I was the same, hadn't kissed a girl and was a virgin, I'm by no means a lothario now but I do alright with girls, work on curing the actual problem and it will come I promise you. Long term solutions are infinately more beneficial than short term fixes, and that's a lesson for life generally, not just this subject.

 

[nightcrawler]

you need to learn to be yourself around people

you'd be surprised at the amount of girls that like you cuz you're you.

 

[Jariel]

My advice would be to ditch PUAs like Tyler Durden for a start. They base their courses on the belief that there are miracle solutions and behavioural patterns that will get you women. This is bullsh!t and is not what you need right now.

I came from the same place as you. I was social phobic, mildly agoraphobic and suffered panic attacks when speaking to strangers. I couldn't even buy something in a shop without twitching and getting stressed.

What you need to do is take a good look at yourself and make a vow to start overcoming your phobias and improving all your flaws. When it comes to phobias, you just need to take baby steps and gradually push yourself out of your comfort zone. It will be hard, but you have to keep moving forward and keep vowing to push yourself. You will find that each time you do this, you get a real sense of accomplishment and you'll feel motivated to push a bit further, gaining momentum as you go. The same with self-improvement.

I know the gym isn't for everyone, and I'm sure you wouldn't feel comfortable in a gym environment anyway, but consider buying some weights to use at home and start working out and eating well (high protein/low sugar). This will raise your testosterone levels, which will give you a natural boost of confidence and boldness, and the balls you need to face upto your fears.

As for the hooker thing. I honestly believe you will regret it and like MisterD suggested, considering what you say about your social phobias, there's a very good chance you will suffer the old performance anxiety when the time comes. It's surprising how quickly your libido can desert you when you need it most.

I guarantee this won't be the short term solution you're seeking. Although I never banged a hooker, I did bang a slvt who threw herself at me. I was so nervous and awkward, it took me ages to get it up, was a lousy experience overall and it damaged my confidence even further.

I highly recommend you stop seeking quick fixes and just start taking your first steps to being the man you want to be. It might take 6 months, it might take a year or two, but at least you're on the right path and you'll be investing in something truly worthwhile.

 

[PapiChulo]

You are putting too much importance on sex. I got nothing against hookers, but it does not really help with anything and may even make you resent having done that. It is a like putting a band aid on a gaping wound. Go through with it and see for yourself. Or take my word for it. They are sure fun though ; ) I ve done some things just for the thril of it.

 

[bigneil]

You won't be happy unless the hooker enjoys the sex. You'll know, trust me. That said, hang out at a strip bar until you get used to hot women. Ask them for tips on how to improve your look. They're honest to a fault when you ask their opinion.

 

[runner83]

Do it and you'll likely regret it for ages.

Man up and take the opportunities in your life as they come up and stop looking for a silver bullet.

Also stop reading stuff by PUA's - they are fvckin' weird!

 

[ezio]

come on man..just give it some time. its gets better

 

[SoSuave666]

Problems with having sex with a hooker your first time:

1.) It will last probably 1-3 minutes. Not getting your money's worth.
2.) You will forever live with the fact that your first time was with a hooker.
3.) You are losing out on the sense of satisfaction that comes with getting a girl to like you for YOU. The hooker will be pretending to like you.
4.) Damn son, you're gunna give up your xbox?!?!??

Benefits with having sex with a hooker your first time:

1.) No expectations.
2.) You will never see her again.
3.) Your first time is over.

I am not sure how you feel about these lists; but I feel the cons far outweigh the pros.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Like the others have said, don't do something that you're gonna regret. Banging a hooker will actually make things worse.

 

[Groovy]

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Also, any idea on around how much this will cost me?

Man, money isn't even important compared to self-esteem, health and feeling good. actually, self estem and feeling good are kinda the same. but whatever. it will cost more then money. you can put a price on money, but more important then that, you can't put a price on your spirit. so i suggest you to listen to ur own advice.- desperate times call for desperate measures. if ur so down, why don't u make yourself feel good instead? this hooker thing, will be only one drop of water in a pool. perhap you wrote this when u were angry and got over it, but if not, you need what u said- a extreme make-over. you got to bring your mood up, your hormones up, your life turned inside-out, you need to try exercise, try diet, try herbal medicine, something to help you bring life back to you. you should do this when ur 21 and it's easy to have energy! your body needs the change too!

ps: keep me posted brah.

pps: so wgat if it's been gong on for years. you need to feel extra good to make it up for all these years lost. even if you been down for years, are u gonna let that kill you? or are you a champion that can«t be brought down, only temporarily, and just one time?


make sure to keep posting stuff

 

[coochieman]

Stop talking trash.

Just relax. If you have started with self improvement then give manifestation some patience. If not, then that's where you problem lies.

Nobody's there with you and in the end you'd still do what you wanna... so i'd save us the stress of pulling and pushing this matter.

DON'T DO IT.

 

[Nicholas]

He thinks his problems are just gonna go away. His biggest regret will be selling his xbox.

I know how it is, waking in the morning hoping things gonna turn around and my loneliness will disappear. No it won't. Ever. There are times when you're feeling lonely and when you're not it's all in your mind. Developing a state of self-eficiency IS what's important and tying your happiness with other people or material things is never a long term solution.

I KNOW you are tired of being lonely and I support your decision whatever it is. Those books, materials you've read ARE useful in a way but not in short term. It takes time, you WILL get rid of of all anxieties you are feeling eventually depending on your ambition and efforts.

You can't base your life on b|tches and their vaginas. There's much more underneath your seemingly obvious problems, but if you don't have patience and will to discover the essentials of your life, go ahead, buy a nice pvssy and see where that will take you.

 

[MrJibbles]

Man, money isn't even important compared to self-esteem, health and feeling good. actually, self estem and feeling good are kinda the same. but whatever. it will cost more then money. you can put a price on money, but more important then that, you can't put a price on your spirit. so i suggest you to listen to ur own advice.- desperate times call for desperate measures. if ur so down, why don't u make yourself feel good instead? this hooker thing, will be only one drop of water in a pool. perhap you wrote this when u were angry and got over it, but if not, you need what u said- a extreme make-over. you got to bring your mood up, your hormones up, your life turned inside-out, you need to try exercise, try diet, try herbal medicine, something to help you bring life back to you. you should do this when ur 21 and it's easy to have energy! your body needs the change too!

ps: keep me posted brah.

pps: so wgat if it's been gong on for years. you need to feel extra good to make it up for all these years lost. even if you been down for years, are u gonna let that kill you? or are you a champion that can«t be brought down, only temporarily, and just one time?

OP here. Woke up this morning. My anger has subsided. I wasn't really that lonely, but had a short-term episode of anger. This happens from time to time. I am working on self-improvement. I just bought my pass for the gym yesterday, and have been working out every few days. Now that I bought a pull-up bar, I'm going to be working at least 5 days a week.

The thing is, back in November, when I had that chance to hook up with that girl that jumped on me, I was in the best shape of my life. I was addicted to working out. I was working my ass off, heading to employment centres and dishing out resumes everywhere, looking for a job, meanwhile trying to apply for school in the future. I was doing everything I possibly could to improve myself. But STILL I was having problems with girls. One late night, I was sitting in bed and realized "I am the loneliest and most miserable I have ever been in my entire life." I just wish I could find out what my problem is. Why can't I get close to girls? Why can't I make a move or kiss a girl, when all signs and intuition tells me to do so? Why can't I be more forward with them? Why can't I even hold a normal conversation with them?

Can this really all be fixed by saying "man up, people have it worse than you?" Well, no. People say that all the time to me, and it frustrates me even more because it just proves to me that they don't understand the situation I'm in. I know this process will take time, but I don't even know where to start. I'll admit that I lack patience and willpower. Maybe my passivity is my problem? But where does the passivity come from? Low self-esteem? Self-esteem has been built up over many years since childhood and I'll admit it: mine is low. But repeating to myself "I'm the prize" isn't going to change it.

I could use some help here. Where do I even begin?

 

[irocknike23]

dude you were crossfaded around hot girls at a party and did nothing...?

whats the matter with you?

when im high and drunk thats when its easiest to talk to girls

 

[MM92]

Bloody hell who would actually pay to lose their virginity to a hooker? Get a desperate girl, some cheap cider and bobs your uncle. Still, have faith. My step dad told me he was a virgin until he was 23, yet had had many relationships and slept with tonnes of women before he met my mum. Some people just blossom earlier than others. I lost my virginity at 15 yet have only slept with 10 girls in the last 3 and a half years.

 

[SoSuave666]

Forget about women. Forget about your physique. Forget about your friends, family, and us posters. What makes YOU happy? Go do that. Do it with purpose. You only think you need women to make you happy because SOCIETY says you need it. Truth be told, some of the brightest men to ever walk this earth were virgins: see Isaac Newton, Immanuel Kant.

Fuel your thirst for SOMETHING and the women will come--right now they need to be a secondary thought.

Question about women throwing themselves at you: Are you worried that you won't satisfy them? What is to stop you from at least kissing a girl who is clearly trying to divulge in the carnal act or mating? Are you scared of escalation? Do you simply not know what to expect?