Im not so convinced of this "your life gets better after your 30s"

[Who Dares Win]

We can often read guys here who are in their 30s and 40s sharing their experience about how they are much more succesful with women and financially strong and overall in a better condition than their 20s, it seems like such things are taken for granted but personally Im not that sure about it.

I have no doubt that many guys here in their 30s and 40s are banging hot chicks and can afford goods and a life style they couldnt earlier yet I dont believe globally thats true for me.

I had sex with cute young girls in my early 20s and late 20s and can already tell that there is a difference, the degree of emphaty and armony decreases the more the time passes, banging the hot 19 yrs old chick its always great but its greater when you are 21.

Lets not stop in terms of girls, they are just part of the picture lets talk about potential.
When you are young you have the potential to do everything you want or at least everything within your means, you could focus on economy or literature or build your mind into a software engineer.

When you are older you either made the right choice and have no other plan than stick and follow it or you will be forced to play catch up with everything because your brain while more efficient is not as open and malleable as before...and most of all a guy in his 40s that starts anything out of nowhere already puts himself in the bottom of the barrell in terms of hierarchy.

Even in terms of fitness and sports out hormones are not as high as before, sure we now know what we are doing in terms of training and diet but the base, the engine is not as brilliant as before and a professiona pilot cannot outperform and lower performances engine.

Please dont take this post as a pessimistic message its not, most of all Im not here to tell you how it is, I would rather have a discussion about it and see how is it working for you.

 

[bigneil]

At each given age you lose certain opportunities.

You can't be a famous actor if you are 30 and never acted.

That said, you'd rather be a 45 year old famous actor than a washed up 31 year old nobody.

 

[switch7]

Chinese proverb:

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

 

[zekko]

When you are young you have the potential to do everything you want or at least everything within your means, you could focus on economy or literature or build your mind into a software engineer.

When you are older you either made the right choice and have no other plan than stick and follow it or you will be forced to play catch up with everything because your brain while more efficient is not as open and malleable as before.

You are absolutely correct in the above. I have always said that your 20s is all about self improvement. You need to set some goals, set a direction, and start working on them and yourself. If you have done this, then your 30s and 40s are a time when you reap the rewards of all that effort. Really, you reap them for the rest of your life.

Which is not to say you are laying back in your 30s and 40s, but by then you have usually built some sort of routine that works for you.

Another reason why you do better in your 30s and 40s is because you have more life experience. This helps you in a lot of ways, but guys here should be able to see how much this helps with women. Your 20s are the time when you make mistakes and learn from them. When you get older, you have learned, and should be able to easily avoid those mistakes.

There are things I miss about my 20s, make no mistake. My body was like a frigging Ferrari, it would seemingly respond instantly to what I wanted it to do. And there is the freshness and novelty of youth. I think you mentioned the high hormones, but those can get in your way sometimes. In any case, even though I'm now past my prime I wouldn't go back, I'm much happier now than I was then. I was fairly miserable when I was younger, I let myself think negatively too much, and I hadn't learned how to be happy yet.

 

[bigneil]

There are things I miss about my 20s, make no mistake. My body was like a frigging Ferrari, it would seemingly respond instantly to what I wanted it to do.

Yes at 27 I could play basketball like Lebron after drinking Bud Dry and freebasing all night, with a fractured neck.

 

[resilient]

It's a struggle man. Especially if you didn't get enough self-development sorted out in your 20s or find yourself reinventing yourself in your mid-30s. The change is a process that you have to absolutely go through and believe in yourself 100%. Take full responsibility of creating the life you want for yourself. Be realistic of goals... if you don't get beyond the finish line, you still have a life of invaluable life experiences that are you that you uniquely benefit for your own growth and maturity.

The one thing I've noticed in the dating game is that women raise their expectations of you the older you get. In your 20s, many women who may still have had low mileage allowed the bf/husband to make a few mistakes. In your 30s, they expect that you're already financially established, have assets, confidence, perform well in the bedroom, friends, hobbies that make you "exceptional" or at least parts of yourself that make you stand out from the competition.

The growth challenge is twice as hard to if you have any kind of personality disorders diagnosed or not that you have to manage on your own with or without medication. And even then, women or people in general are twice as unforgiving, because mental illness is looked down upon and they would rather avoid carrying on those genes to the offspring if they can avoid it. I can still remember my ex-wife paranoid conversations worrying about passing some bad genes of mine to our offspring in our frequent conversations about having children.

 

[Who Dares Win]

How can you say dating a 19 yo is better at age 21? You are nothing but a bundle of insecurity at that age getting run ragged by a girl at or near her peak of attractiveness. I brush them off like its nothing now. Also, the 20yo's I date now are top tier and the ones I was involved with then were very average.

Thats the whole point being a beggar whos welcomed in a palace offered drinks and food after a warm bath.
Imagine the same treatment when you are a millionaire used to it..when is gonna feel better?

 

[Serenity]

It will get better when you grow up... It will get better after 30... It will get better after 40... It will get better after retirement... Satisfaction always being somewhere out there in the future. Meanwhile every passing moment just isn't good enough, suddenly you're on your last days and right before you die you regret not finding satisfaction in the moment.

To regret this waste of time thinking happiness is in the future is my greatest fear in life. That fear is stronger than any fear of regret coming from a less than ideal life choice. I live one time, I have already wasted so much time being unhappy in the moment and hopeful of the future, those years are a reminder every day of how I shouldn't live.

Besides, "it gets better after 30" is too convenient of an excuse to just procrastinate and wait until that age. It's just half of the sentence, it should say "it gets better after 30, if you start getting better now". The age here is irrelevant apart from what is usually practically achievable in your 20's, getting to 30 isn't a magic pill. There is no magic pill.

 

[bigneil]

Just got a date with my 21 year old HB9.9 for tomorrow. Think I wish I was 30 when I was renting a cheap room and all my dates asked "Do you own or rent?" before leaving tracks?

(More resources you could hope to expect to get in a period of time) > (Said period of time).

 

[Urbanyst]

Life is better in your 30's and 40's if you made smart choices in your 20's.

If you're a loser, life will probably keep getting worse since you have a lot less time and energy to steer the ship in a new direction.

20's is the time to figure out your values and cram your brain with useful information you can use to thrive in the world. Your brain's capacity to learn new things declines with age. That's why its better to learn a new language when you're younger. 30's is the decade of implementation. Its when you take all the lessons from your 20's and start applying them in a way that helps you thrive. Its your last real decade of youth. If you're not taking action in your 30's you might miss the boat.

By your 40's you're expected to be established and no one will take you seriously if you're still playing catch up at that point. If you're still a loser at this point, its unlikely you have much hope to turn things around since all the good opportunities will either go to younger people or people your age with more experience.

Father time doesn't f*ck around. Its worse for women though.

 

[zekko]

Life is better in your 30's and 40's if you made smart choices in your 20's.

I made a ton of mistakes when I was in my 20s. I don't think I started to get my sh!t together until I was about 25. I had to. I knew I wasn't good enough as I was. I was a late bloomer, all my friends always made more money than I did.

I can't imagine not working to self improve in my 20s, but I guess a lot of guys didn't. Sometimes I forget that. I sometimes tell the story of how I was sitting around with a bunch of guys drinking on a Sunday afternoon, and it suddenly struck me: What the heck am I doing here? I'm just wasting my life, I could be doing something productive. So I got up and left.

And it's not just career, money, or girls. I exercised like a fiend in my 20s, and put a lot of time into my hobbies.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Every age has its strengths and weaknesses. The problem of youth is it is very fleeting. The sooner we start to live in the light of our finitude, the better life becomes. We deal with the gnawing anxiety that lies at the center. Too much ambition is as bad as no ambition at all.

 

[Trump]

Please dont take this post as a pessimistic message its not, most of all Im not here to tell you how it is, I would rather have a discussion about it and see how is it working for you.

Love people who give a big long lecture and then say "don't take this the wrong way." How else are we supposed take it?

Yes bro, life sucks in your late 30s and 40s if you didn't prepare for it in your 20s. But we don't need people to come in here and "tell it like it is" about life because they didn't make the right choices. It doesn't help anyone except make them more depressed and lazy. SS needs members to tell others how to sell, how to dress, how to look, how to find your passion, get motivated, get results, build things, give back to society.

No one is going to come knock on your door and say "because you struggled in life, here is a movie star actress you can marry and have sex with for the rest of your life. You also get to be a Director of the next big Hollywood blockbuster where the really hot leading lady has to take off her clothes during 3 sex scenes."

A lot of these posts are about society owing us because we don't know how to attract, study hard, be an important member of world when we were younger and didn't put in the effort to care. I am here to tell you if you put the effort in and work hard, people will care, especially women.

 

[cola]

Life is better In your 30s/40s if:

• You worked out and stayed fit In your 20s
• You made good financial decisions In your 20s and aren't in debt.

• You actually put effort into your career, by now you should be starting to get high level promotions.

• You didn't let society pressure you into a unneccissarily hasty marriage.
• You didnt father and children.

Basically it gets better only if you weren't a complete **** up in your 20s.
If you were a f*ck up, its totally worst.
The older you get the less sympathy you recieve for your mistakes.

Luckily ive been reading red pill stuff since 17. So even though I skipped college, which may or may not end up having been a mistake I have virtually 0 (car loan) debt entering my 30s.
No kids.
Never married. And working out at 27 harder than ever before. So in my 30s all I have to do is maintain my gains.

I'm expecting my 30s to be full of travel, sex in different countries and tons of fun!
Hopefully.

 

[zekko]

Basically it gets better only if you weren't a complete **** up in your 20s.
If you were a f*ck up, its totally worst.
The older you get the less sympathy you recieve for your mistakes

Your 20s are the optimum time, but you can always put in work to improve yourself. Better late than never.

 

[Trainwreck]

I've never seen a plus 30 year old dating a girl younger than 24 despite how this site makes it seem like it is so common.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

I am starting to think that it is all relative.

Sites like this attract guys who were misfits, didn't score in high school, under-performed in college, and weren't the Van Wilders or Stiflers of their youth. For those guys who worked hard in their 20s, it gets better in their 30s although I can't say how. Women start to pay attention to them but I don't know how rare Dan Bilzerians are.

I don't think that for guys like a Van Wilder or big man on campus types life will ever be that good again because they peaked in college and nothing really rivals peaking in college from what I see. Maybe being the man in a very young part of NYC could be just as good these days though so who knows!

What I do think is that there is a lot of overhype involved with the 30s.

Like so many claim it is a coming out party for late bloomers who can bang lots of hot women and have that social life they missed out on in college, their chance for redemption, but I doubt that. I just think they have more options than they did in their 20s and are finally getting more attention from women.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Your 20s are the optimum time, but you can always put in work to improve yourself. Better late than never.

But the forties are your peak. You enjoy a panoramic vista from which to survey the whole.

 

[BeExcellent]

When a man is young, a woman evaluates you by your potential.

The older a man gets the more a woman observes and evaluates you based on your actual results.

If you don't like where you are or where you are headed I have good news and I have bad news:

You have the power of choice & the power of action. Whether that is good or bad news depends entirely on you.

 

[zekko]

Sites like this attract guys who were misfits, didn't score in high school, under-performed in college, and weren't the Van Wilders or Stiflers of their youth.

"Didn't score in high school" is going a little far, but you're right, the sample here might be a little skewed. If a guy was massively successful at a young age, like the high school quarterback or a Van Wilder like you say, maybe they peaked when they were young. It would be hard to move up from that.