I'm getting mixed signals.. give me advice

[Baibars]

So there is this pretty 20 yo girl i met on a dating app last week. Texted her a bit and got her number, then asked her out.
She's very sweet and agreeable but acts a bit strange imo. I'm asking you guys for advice because i want to know if i'm the problem or if she just doesn't like me because she makes me confused. I know that when a girl likes you, she texts you all the time and tries to get your attention. This girl is different. She is up to almost anything. When i ask her to meet up she's down.
We also made out on our first date and had fun but i just have a bad feeling about her. It just feels like she doesn't really want me.
I mean she drove more than an hour to meet me but she rarely texts me. She didn't really compliment me until now. She responds hours later and even then it's short and when we text it doesnt seem like she wants to continue the conversation.
We agreed on meeting again this weekend and she assured me that she wants to see me too.

This girl lives in a small village and her family are farmers. She's educated and fun to be with. I had a few dates before her and all i wanted from those women was sex cause you couldn't even have a good conversation with them. But i enjoyed being with this one. I paid for our drinks and then later she insisted to pay 50/50 for the food. She never used her phone around me, only for google maps when we drove somewhere and she didn't hide her phone.

So yeah my question is why would she act so indifferent when she wants to meet me and keeps going with me? I guess most guys here would say if she doesn't blow up your phone she is not really into you and explores her options but i really don't know.

 

[derby1]

is she turning up for dates if so what are you worrying about?

women are experts at the game. why are you sitting texting women?

I have one at the moment she is an expert at ambiguity , but she drives to meet me, and turns up. shes probably read some BS dating advice from female book to withhold her attention,. this **** works on BEta males, as they go insane, it doesnt work on Rico Suave.

shes probably got a boyfriend in the picture, they ALL Have. every single one of them has a boyfriend. trust me, their sneaky about it. never let them know you know and never mention it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There are no mixed signals here.

I guess most guys here would say if she doesn't blow up your phone she is not really into you and explores her options but i really don't know.

Not true - A girl not blowing up your phone doesn't mean she isn't into you. It means she has some game and/or is old-fashioned and looking for the man to lead. A lot of high-value women who know their worth play hard to get in THIS specific way (non-initiation). The absolute KEY here is that she isn't initiating conversation but is saying yes to your date invites. THAT is the most important part and how you can tell she is interested. There are no mixed signals here. Accepting 2 date offers. Driving more than an hour to meet you. Making out with you on your first date. All this and you feel insecure about her not liking you because she isn't blowing up your phone?! Stop being so insecure.

Keep leading. Use the phone to setup dates. Once a week. And ensure that you can arrange for sex to happen on EVERY DATE - IE pick a place for the date that is near your place, have your place ready, and come up with a fake reason why she should come over at the end of your date that is not sexual in nature. It should be something like, "You have to meet my dog that I told you about" or "I have to play this song for you" etc. This girl may already be wanting to sleep with you and you have to give her that opportunity. She may turn your invitation down, but trust me, you have to give her the opportunity every time.

Lastly, why did you say "she assured me that she wants to see me to"? Why would she be "assuring" you of that? Did you say something to her that indicates you are looking for more than a "yes" agreement to your invitation - like questioning whether she "really wants to see you?" I hope not.

 

[2Rocky]

Are you in the US or a different country?
I can tell you about US farm girls. They have a life beyond their phone, get up early and work late. Often they don't have cell signal. They sure as heck aren't addicted to social media...

She is using dread (perhaps unknowingly) on you and you are letting her get in your head. Don't do something weak and needy to reassure yourself. Keep seeing her and just read her in person actions...

 

[Baibars]

There are no mixed signals here.



Not true - A girl not blowing up your phone doesn't mean she isn't into you. It means she has some game and/or is old-fashioned and looking for the man to lead. A lot of high-value women who know their worth play hard to get in THIS specific way (non-initiation). The absolute KEY here is that she isn't initiating conversation but is saying yes to your date invites. THAT is the most important part and how you can tell she is interested. There are no mixed signals here. Accepting 2 date offers. Driving more than an hour to meet you. Making out with you on your first date. All this and you feel insecure about her not liking you because she isn't blowing up your phone?! Stop being so insecure.

Keep leading. Use the phone to setup dates. Once a week. And ensure that you can arrange for sex to happen on EVERY DATE - IE pick a place for the date that is near your place, have your place ready, and come up with a fake reason why she should come over at the end of your date that is not sexual in nature. It should be something like, "You have to meet my dog that I told you about" or "I have to play this song for you" etc. This girl may already be wanting to sleep with you and you have to give her that opportunity. She may turn your invitation down, but trust me, you have to give her the opportunity every time.

Lastly, why did you say "she assured me that she wants to see me to"? Why would she be "assuring" you of that? Did you say something to her that indicates you are looking for more than a "yes" agreement to your invitation - like questioning whether she "really wants to see you?" I hope not.

Yes i'm acting insecure and i did confront her about her behaviour. She wasn't pissed and just said she does like me and wants to know me me more. We're still gonna meet saturday. I guess i didn't fail yet idk.

 

[Baibars]

Are you in the US or a different country?
I can tell you about US farm girls. They have a life beyond their phone, get up early and work late. Often they don't have cell signal. They sure as heck aren't addicted to social media...

She is using dread (perhaps unknowingly) on you and you are letting her get in your head. Don't do something weak and needy to reassure yourself. Keep seeing her and just read her in person actions...

I'm from germany. Yes this girl seems like that too. She had a pretty old phone and during our date she didn't use it. I already did weak **** to get reassurance... but seems like she's still interested.

 

[derby1]

I'm from germany. Yes this girl seems like that too. She had a pretty old phone and during our date she didn't use it. I already did weak **** to get reassurance... but seems like she's still interested.

expect her to do do the biggest pull back you ever saw, anytime soon.

 

[Baibars]

expect her to do do the biggest pull back you ever saw, anytime soon.

well if she does that I will have no other choice than doing the same right

 

[derby1]

well if she does that I will have no other choice than doing the same right

bro youve been on this forum, 2 years you should be mildly accomplished at this stuff, but like many western people, you check in when the going is bad, and slow fade when the going is good.

you should be attending class every spare hour.

 

[Striker_93]

Just proceed without worrying or thinking too much on it, talk to other women as well.

 

[The Duke]

As long as a girl is still saying yes and easy to deal with then she is interested. Girls that come across as a little more indifferent tend to be more reserved and control their emotions better. They make better choices for long term relationships.

As for yourself, be more rational about it. Don't over think this. You don't want the opposite that is needy, texts all the time, and is emotional.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No OP, she is giving you clear signals, it's you trying to rationalize and justify things in your mind that is giving you the mixed signals.

Interested women do not give mixed signals period.

 

[svencandy]

Sounds like you found a good one.

Dont worry about it and keep enjoying your time together, meet her family, see how she lives, and report back.

Best girls I've ever had were similiar, blowing up your phone probably means she blows up others phones too.

The physical side and the fact she drives to see you plus goes 50/50 Are all green flags. Not being addicted to her phone is also a green flag.

Consider yourself a lucky man and use this as motivation to be the best you can be, because opportunities like this are rare. And if the opposite is true, who cares? You had a good time.

 

[Barrister]

Some women do not text a lot in early stage dating. If you are used to a lot of texting from previous interactions with women, this can be jarring. However, if she is agreeing to the date and the dates are going well, I wouldn’t focus that much on the lack of texting and would recommend you dial your own back if you are texting her more than she is you. The key from everything you said is that during your dates she is rarely on her phone. Sounds like she has more going on in her life than just being glued to her iPhone like 90% of women are. This is a good thing.

If things keep going well this will change and you will see her start texting more often. In meantime, just be cool with it. Good luck, brother.

 

[bat soup]

So there is this pretty 20 yo girl i met on a dating app last week. Texted her a bit and got her number, then asked her out.
She's very sweet and agreeable but acts a bit strange imo. I'm asking you guys for advice because i want to know if i'm the problem or if she just doesn't like me because she makes me confused. I know that when a girl likes you, she texts you all the time and tries to get your attention. This girl is different. She is up to almost anything. When i ask her to meet up she's down.
We also made out on our first date and had fun but i just have a bad feeling about her. It just feels like she doesn't really want me.
I mean she drove more than an hour to meet me but she rarely texts me. She didn't really compliment me until now. She responds hours later and even then it's short and when we text it doesnt seem like she wants to continue the conversation.
We agreed on meeting again this weekend and she assured me that she wants to see me too.

This girl lives in a small village and her family are farmers. She's educated and fun to be with. I had a few dates before her and all i wanted from those women was sex cause you couldn't even have a good conversation with them. But i enjoyed being with this one. I paid for our drinks and then later she insisted to pay 50/50 for the food. She never used her phone around me, only for google maps when we drove somewhere and she didn't hide her phone.

So yeah my question is why would she act so indifferent when she wants to meet me and keeps going with me? I guess most guys here would say if she doesn't blow up your phone she is not really into you and explores her options but i really don't know.

To me sounds like she just wants to bang. She doesn't want a relationship.

 

[RangerMIke]

is she turning up for dates if so what are you worrying about?

Yeah... I read this and don't see the problem.

OP.... if she is showing up when you ask her out you don't have a problem. Just keep doing what you are doing. The only advice I would give you is that you are becoming obsessed over this ONE CHICK and she's not your girlfriend. Go date other women. If this one decides she wants you all to herself, she'll let you know, then you get to decide if you want to go along with that.

Men... do the picking.
Women... do the choosing.
Women... decide when a relationship starts.
Men... then get to decide if they want to go along with her plan.

The OP is getting ahead of himself and has become too emotionally committed to this chick who still hasn't decided about him.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Yes i'm acting insecure and i did confront her about her behaviour.

No, bro, I wish u wouldnt have done that haha. Play it cool instead. As long as she shows up for dates and accepts escalation you should be fine.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The problem is you. Not her. She digs you. Stop texting her. You are acting like a needy teenager.

 

[Baibars]

I have another question about this girl. When she texts me something I don’t agree with I don’t want to discuss it with her so I just don’t text her back. I did that few times and now she’s always saying if I have a problem i should tell her what to and what she should changed. Should I really do that or is that a way to get more attention from me?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You are going to have to provide more details. What is she specifically saying that you don't agree with and don't want to discuss?