I'm getting caught in that *texting* game.

[LostAndConfused]

So my face-to-face game with this chick has gone great. But I know that texting alot is AFC, but I'm unable to see her every weekend so its kinda necessary. So how do I not get caught up looking like a major AFC out of this?

 

[tick37]

Text and reply whenever you want, and not when you think she wants you to. Not being too available is always the key.

 

[cedd]

So how do I not get caught up looking like a major AFC out of this?

texting is not AFC. what is AFC is texting in order to seek for validation.
keep your text messages light and funny and keep the convo for your next face to face !

you can read this :
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1094027#post1094027

http://blog.pickup101.com/2006/11/15/how-to-text-message-women-with-examples/

cheers

 

[Interceptor]

texting is not AFC.
Keep your messages short and snappy.
No long letters.
Make sure they're interesting, and funny.
Try to make them count, so she remembers them.

Go to it, tiger.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Thanks for all the replies! Very helpful

One quick question, is it okay for me to text her every day, maybe skipping a few days throughout?

I'll be following these four principles when I text (feel free to critique these if you want):

1.) Funny texts!
2.) Wait a fair amount of time after her response to respond back, from 10 minutes later to even several hours.
3.) Never over 1 page of text (160 characters, including spaces).
4.) Don't text her alot, no greater than 5 texts in a day, unless they are flirty one word responses.

 

[tick37]

I have a chick that wants to text all the time. I usually let a few slip by before I reply. lol

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Lost: Here's a example of how texting can work to your advantage.

Met a HB7 a while back (4 months ago). Randomly texted her one night when I was out partying and she responded back right away asking who I was. Some AFC's might have freaked out here thinking its a bad sign she didn't have my number saved in her phone, but I didn't care. I never responded back after she asked me who I was.

Then fast forward to about a month ago, out partying it up, start texting her again. She responds back immediately, trying to figure out who I was. I decide to play a game with her, giving her clues while she tries to figure out who I was. If she got the question right, I'd give her a point, if she got it wrong I'd tell her she's bad at the game.

Now keep in mind this was on a Saturday night while this chick was at a party and she texted back and forth with me for over an hour. Some would say that's chump that I texted with her for too long, but clearly her interest was high because she was intrigued by my wit and she couldn't figure out who I was. Finally I gave her a huge clue, she figured out who I was and she was excited to hear from me.

A couple days later I was looking through my texts and I couldn't believe I texted with her for an hour. I sent her a text telling her we should party some time and she didn't respond.

Then this past weekend I ended up going to a huge house party and guess who was there? HB7. She made eye contact with me from across the room, then quickly looked away. I didn't even move from the corner of the room where I was talking with my buddy. A couple minutes later I look over my shoulder and her and her friend are standing a couple feet away from me talking to eachother (sign of interest when they put themselves close to you). I still didn't say anything to her. She walked away, only to come across the room a couple minutes later specifically to say hi to me. She walked up to me, grabbed my side, smiled real big and said:

HB7: "Hey, how's it going!! (big smile)
Me: "Real good, and you??"
HB7: "Awesome, I didn't even see you, when did you get here??" (she was obviously lying, because we made strong EC earlier, that's what made her come up to me in the first place.

Long story short, we ended up talking and flirting for about 15 minutes, while things were going well, I walked away to talk with another friend and we made plans to party together on St. Patricks Day.

Okay, I know that was kinda a long example/story. But the point is, there are no hard set rules for anything, if your confident and you define your role as being the prize, the girl will want you.

General rule of thumb, use common sense for your texting interactions.

For example, if she texts you and you wait 10-15 minutes to respond, then she texts you back within a few minutes, don't wait another 20 minutes to respond, that makes it obvious that your trying to play it cool.

Also, DO NOT text her everyday. Especially if you see her on a regular basis, she'll know you want her and her attraction will fall.

Last tip, be interesting. Intrigue her, make her wonder about you. Funny is always good, but mix it up and keep her guessing....that's even better.



PIMP

 

[izza]

Thanks for all the replies! Very helpful

One quick question, is it okay for me to text her every day, maybe skipping a few days throughout?

I'll be following these four principles when I text (feel free to critique these if you want):

1.) Funny texts!
2.) Wait a fair amount of time after her response to respond back, from 10 minutes later to even several hours.
3.) Never over 1 page of text (160 characters, including spaces).
4.) Don't text her alot, no greater than 5 texts in a day, unless they are flirty one word responses.

Oh man, this is a pet peeve of mine. Waiting to contact a chick "to appear busy" is so lame. People on this board are always talking about how this impresses chicks. And maybe through careful calculations you will gain an infinitesimal advantage.

Let me ask you: what is the point of having an attractive personality? If you ask me, the answer is "so that you don't have to think about these games."

I hear you that you're worried about improving your game, which is great. You're worried about succeeding with this girl, which is normal. All I'm trying to say is, develop your personality and your true, unfakeable feeling of being funny and attractive. Do that, and chicks will be happy to receive your text, call, email, or message via carrier pigeon - anytime.

Izza

 

[tick37]

Oh man, this is a pet peeve of mine. Waiting to contact a chick "to appear busy" is so lame. People on this board are always talking about how this impresses chicks. And maybe through careful calculations you will gain an infinitesimal advantage.

Let me ask you: what is the point of having an attractive personality? If you ask me, the answer is "so that you don't have to think about these games."

I hear you that you're worried about improving your game, which is great. You're worried about succeeding with this girl, which is normal. All I'm trying to say is, develop your personality and your true, unfakeable feeling of being funny and attractive. Do that, and chicks will be happy to receive your text, call, email, or message via carrier pigeon - anytime.

Izza

We say it because it's what people are attracted to. We all want what we can't have. We all fight for what doesn't come easily. We strive for what is scarce. You're not such a hot commodity if you so fvcking available.

 

[ezily]

We say it because it's what people are attracted to. We all want what we can't have. We all fight for what doesn't come easily. We strive for what is scarce. You're not such a hot commodity if you so fvcking available.

I think izza's point was that if a chick texts you and you wait a while to text her back then that's stupid. Why not reply when you get the text or when you feel like it? I agree with izza on this point. Most girls will probably know that you just reply a while later to appear busy. All those girls do the same thing as well as all AFCs. If you're comfortable with yourself and confident then it shouldn't matter when you reply or send a message. Just don't send something gay and AFC to her. Be funny or at least have a reason to text. Saying something like "I hope you're having a good day" is very AFC.

 

[Iron]

I agree witht the above responses.....short, funny texts. If she keeps sending more, let her know you're doing something and it is hard to text her back right now...end the texting war. Not only does it show your time isn't solely for her texting pleasure...but now she gets to wonder what such a busy, active guy is doing instead of replying every 2 seconds....increased interest level maybe?

 

[ezily]

I agree witht the above responses.....short, funny texts. If she keeps sending more, let her know you're doing something and it is hard to text her back right now...end the texting war. Not only does it show your time isn't solely for her texting pleasure...but now she gets to wonder what such a busy, active guy is doing instead of replying every 2 seconds....increased interest level maybe?

oh yeah you're right there. Replying every two seconds is BAD. But if she's responding relatively quickly then don't wait two hours. That's just dumb. Just reply when you feel like it. That's what I say.

 

[Iron]

What sucks is many women are getting texting plans and the phones with a full micro keyboard....they can text at lightning speed. My one buddy had to block certain chicks 'cause he didn't have a texting plan.....his fees were absurd. That caused a ****storm but at least he had money to party with.

 

[Rebound Material]

ahhh! I was just in one of these...yea...just make sure that texting is all about FLIRTING/PLAYFULNESS if you're going to text at all. I know your situation is tough since you only see her on the weekends, but don't make texting 90% of how you two communicate. Since texting/msn and all that has no tone and is all written some things could be misinterpreted. A text joke coming from you/her without an "LOL" or "hahaha" somewhere in there can sound very cruel. Make sure that you set up the interaction so that she knows that you are just playing first...thats where I messed up last time =/.

 

[War Against Betaism]

What sucks is many women are getting texting plans and the phones with a full micro keyboard....they can text at lightning speed. My one buddy had to block certain chicks 'cause he didn't have a texting plan.....his fees were absurd. That caused a ****storm but at least he had money to party with.

That's what happened to me, my bill was jacked up to $150 in interest because of texting, and it seems everyone now has a sidekick. Tmobile has a plan where you get unlimited text, which makes it bad for me because all they ever do is text. Now I just tell women if they can't call me then I can't text them. One girl today just texted me saying she was bored, I asked her if she was on AIM and she said no and I said I'll ttyl then texting kills my bill.

 

[DonGorgon]

Women Love Texting Cause They Can Bs Even More Than When TheY ARE On The Phone.

 

[Iron]

Women Love Texting Cause They Can Bs Even More Than When TheY ARE On The Phone.

^^Quoted for truth.

 

[izza]

We say it because it's what people are attracted to. We all want what we can't have. We all fight for what doesn't come easily. We strive for what is scarce. You're not such a hot commodity if you so fvcking available.

Hi Tick,

I don't disagree with you. I think you can probably parlay waiting to text into a small advantage with women.

I do agree with the other posters that there is danger in this, and some women will even suspect you're playing hard to get. Still, I agree that you can slightly increase interest based on not texting back right away.

I really agree with people who warn against creating an expectation of an instant response. I think this is covered in the "when you feel like it principle." A lot of the time I feel like writing back right away because I think of something clever and I don't want to lose it. When I do this too much, I don't feel like it anymore. I have never felt a need to think about it.

Then again, I don't own a cell phone, home phone, and don't have internet at home.

I think it's good that you are all thinking through the minutiae of this issue, though.

You're not such a hot commodity if you so fvcking available.

Tick, I don't base my being a hot commodity on how busy I am or how much time I have for women or even one woman in general. I am a hot commodity for better reasons: I am good to people in my life - I help them grow as people, I have fun with them. Dude, I'm well traveled, well educated, bilingual, articulate, friendly. Incidentally, I meet a lot of women. I'm not where I want to be, but I take pride in how much happier I am today than I was yesterday. Finally, I know myself better than most men who walk the earth.

I'm not sure if that makes me a hot commodity in your eyes, or to all women. It does to those women I care to care about. One thing's for sure, it definitely makes me scarce.

The entire idea behind being "a catch" is that you are already scarce. You don't need to do anything further to be scarce and desirable.

In fact, women will admire a guy who has the "courage" to seem available. Chicks will respect a guy who clearly doesn't play games. Make it CLEAR that you don't waste time with games.

In any case, I wouldn't even want to suspect that women are attracted to me in any way based on my calculated text-message response time.

Despite all those things that are great about me, I choose to have a lot of unstructured time in life. I am often at the computer or looking at my phone when chicks get in touch with me. I am a winner at life in enough ways to just text them back - or even joke, "I've been waiting by the computer all week just for your email!"

Moral of the story: I'm going to start responding to everybody right away as an experiment.

Izza

 

[tick37]

Izza, it works for me. I don't like to constantly text the way chicks do. I have two girls that text me all the time, and I ignore most of their messages. The more I do, the more they seem to text. lol I'd rather talk to them when I see them, and if they don't like it, oh well. I'm not going to waste conversation in a text and sit there with them in person with nothing to talk about.

 

[izza]

Izza, it works for me. I don't like to constantly text the way chicks do. I have two girls that text me all the time, and I ignore most of their messages. The more I do, the more they seem to text. lol I'd rather talk to them when I see them, and if they don't like it, oh well. I'm not going to waste conversation in a text and sit there with them in person with nothing to talk about.

Tick,

That's cool. I have no doubts that you have plenty of success. And I'm glad that your text-ignoring is saving their interest and your $$$

It sounds to me like their attraction to you is not based at all on how often you text them, but your innate attractiveness, which is as it should be.

It also seems to me that you are texting them when you feel like it, just like you said in your first post. That's the way it should be

If I were in your shoes - which I'm not, (but then again, with two hot text-message chicks, I'm sure I'd love to be ), I'd start texting them back right away for a while and making myself pretty darn available. I just hate it when I suspect I am relying on something to make chicks like me more. I want them to like me as much as possible for who I am today in terms of abilities, experiences, and preferences.

In fact, you should see me these days, oh god, I don't shave, cut my hair, much less comb it. My clothes are old and ratty (I still smell like flowers though, no worries). My finger nails could cut garlic.

In short, it looks like I went for a really long walk in the forest. I'm starting to get embarrassed. Anyway, I'm finding that a guy with a good sense of humor and lots of personality and high expectations doesn't really need to think about anything else. And I think that many people here - possibly not you, with your text-message chicks - would benefit from kicking little tricks like those to the curb. Especially the ones that "work." IMHO they have an effect but they are a distraction. Game should be based on who you are - Juggler says to "be yourself with so much force that nothing else matters".

Anyway, again, I'm sure what you're doing works great, or else you wouldn't recommend it.

Take care, thanks for the response,
Izza