I'm Furious

[KarmaSutra]

I got all the big guns posting in this post. I really appreciate your help.

You know why? Because this is an issue which plagues most men in our lifetime. And you know what the catch it? We need it. This is what wakes us up and let's us rip our plugs out and makes our eyes open for the first time.

Also, it's because we care.

 

[The Bat]

Because of her I probably will never trust another woman. I'll probably never let myself get close to another woman. I'll fvck 'em, but I won't go into a LTR with 'em.

Bad idea, my friend. Looking back at your old threads, I can see the "victim-mentality" already at play. Don't let one woman decide how you're going to interact with other women in your life. You may think you're protecting yourself but you're only slowly poisoning your self and your spirit. Learn to self-reflect and self-evaluate. Focus on the things that went wrong. Focus on the times when you lost control. Focus on your feelings when it got really bad. Then ask yourself, "Do I really want to feel like that again? Do I really want to lose control of myself like that again? Do I really want things to go wrong when I had the chance to make them right?"

Hope that helps.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Tick, better things are ahead for you. Start planning a positive future for yourself.

Take this advise:

Boot her ass out.

Get rid of this toxic person as soon as possible.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Tick,


This woman hit you, and she hit you HARD. And you went down...but you DIDN'T go "out". An ultimate AFC would still be at the stage where he's wallowing around on the floor in complete self-pity-------but YOU are not.

Sure, you can blame her for a hell of a LOT of it----and you'd probably be right. But your inner-maturity is shining through to many of us here evidenced by your growing acceptance of the role you also have played in your own misfortunes. But take heart, because this is indeed the beginning of a distinguished road you are on...this fukked up, raggedy-assed pathway to a hopefully, "better" life.

Yes, for now, you have reached the level of ANGER. And not "just" anger, but righteous INDIGNATION. And let's look at the word "indignation" for a moment. The spelling of the word itself gives us clues to it's meaning:

The prefix "in' means NOT, while the compound-suffix that comprises the the rest of the word "dignation" seems to speak to the action or the "condition" of being DIGNIFIED. So in a sense, your anger stems from a recognition, an epiphany, no-----A REVELATION that you have now become fully AWARE that how you were being treated while in relationship with this woman was NOT DIGNIFIED.

And only a MAN who is on the path of truly FINALLY loving "himself" respects himself enough to begin drawing lines in the sand----in a concerted effort to protect HIS OWN best interest for a goddamned change.

I commend you for taking that step, soldier. AND you should commend YOURSELF, as well. And as the other brothers have said, ANGER is not the realm for you get so comfortable with that you are tempted to relax therein FOREVER, but rather, ANGER is a tool you can use. It is a WEAPON-------hot to the touch----hot enough for you to use it's fire like a fuel, OR A FORGE, to shape, form, and fashion a BETTER life for yourself-----one in which your ex-wife WILL NOT play any significant role.

You see, when a woman (THE WRONG WOMAN----especially those in the totally self-serving, manipulating, castrating, Biitch category) loses respect for you, she will only see you from that point on as a toy to be used and played with for her own savage amusement.

And BECAUSE you had a past lapse in judgment and decided to be open with a woman like this unwisely-----WITHOUT her having legitmately earned the right to know who you are "inside", basically what you have mistakenly done is emotionally UNDRESS in front of an emotional RAPIST.

MOST of us have made this mistake at some point or another----LEARN FROM THIS, but only choose to learn this mutherfukking lesson ONCE.

Because now, with your ex-wife's TRUE nature having been revealed and running rampant, her ONLY aim seems to be to keep poking, prodding, and pushing your buttons----keeping you in a state of constant confusion due to being on an emotional rollercoaster. And I wouldn't doubt that on a certain level, she is ENJOYING seeing you flail about helplessly out of control.

STOP BEING HER FUKKING TOY!

YOUR mission is to use the fiery feelings inside of you (this ANGER) NOT to launch an ATTACK, but to plan a strategic RETREAT.

And it BEGINS by consciously making efforts to decisively, desensitize, and dismantle the "buttons" that your ex-wife has been so routinely "pushing" for years. You must begin to de-program yourself from "reacting" to her.

And you do this by mentally and emotionally linking so much PAIN to the very idea of being with her that you can hardly STAND IT---all the while, simultaneously linking so much PLEASURE mentally and emotionally to the very idea of your new single life WITHOUT her that you are absolutely fukking GIDDY with excitement and joy.

Because when you can CHANGE the way you think of her, you will change what she means to you. And when you have successfully CHANGED the way you view your life without her into A LIFE filled with images of self respect, positivity, and HOPE-------then a brave, AND BRIGHT new future for you has BEGUN.


Peace to you...one day----and SOON.

 

[edger]

Are you saying that women only cheat if they have a reason to cheat?

Since he hasn't answered your question, I'll answer it, because you need an answer. He's saying she cheated, because you weren't keeping her attracted to you. Your game was off. When women aren't attracted to you, they'll a lot of times cheat, or end the relationship with you. And Iqqi, that's some terrible advice. Tick, do yourself a favor, don't listen to most women's advice, because when most women give out advice, they either truly don't know what they're talking about, are covering up for the female gender, or just can't face the reality of the way the female gender operates. Iqqi's talking like a typical woman. And I say all this with all due respect, because your intentions could be good, instead of purposefully mis-leading, Iqqi.

Most women will never give you good, accurate answers to your problems with women(as all the guys here will tell you..well at least most of 'em). Leave that to the men(the men who truly know their sh*t)..really.

 

[iqqi]

He's saying she cheated, because you weren't keeping her attracted to you. Your game was off. When women aren't attracted to you, they'll a lot of times cheat, or end the relationship with you.

I can't believe you think the only reason women cheat is if they aren't attracted to you. This is utter BS, and completely detrimental to the OP's thinking. Maybe he did lose her attraction, and he should address that with himself. However, most people cheat due to low character and morale.

Some women can have it all, and she will still want more. Same with men.

He is not at fault for her weakness and wh0redom. If she was truly unsatisfied, she could have left the relationship, not committed adultry. She even cheated on him in the beginning of their relationship. That speaks of an abnormal type of insecurity and neediness of her part, something deeper and more pyschological than typical needs that can be met by her partner.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Since he hasn't answered your question, I'll answer it, because you need an answer.

It was answered (and rather poignantly I might add ) by myself and iqqi.

 

[iqqi]

It was answered (and rather poignantly I might add ) by myself and iqqi.

Pfffft. Who cares what Edger thinks. He is a lowly one bar rookie.

Tick, you can definately control and improve yourself, but even the best of the best will come across an emotional vampire or black whole once or twice in life. And if they get close to you, they will drain you. Just work on avoiding those types.

And don't become one!!!

 

[( . )( . )]

Also, she didn't cheat on you because you are weak. She cheated on you because SHE is weak. By disrespecting your relationship together, she disrespected herself as a person. Be glad she is leaving your life.

Be glad you are now strong enough to make her.

What the fvck is this crap doing here?

And it doesnt stop there.

He is not at fault for her weakness and wh0redom. If she was truly unsatisfied, she could have left the relationship, not committed adultry.

Cmon pull your head in, this looks like a bad day at loveshack.

 

[iqqi]

I could have just said you can't turn a h0 into a housewife.

You are right. But Tick seemed like he needed something with more substance.

Hey Tick!!! You can't turn a h0 into a housewife. Aiiiight?

 

[( . )( . )]

Oh right, the "reputation" points.

Magic 8 ball says this sh!t is going to get really weak, really fast here.

 

[edger]

I can't believe you think the only reason women cheat is if they aren't attracted to you. This is utter BS, and completely detrimental to the OP's thinking. Maybe he did lose her attraction, and he should address that with himself. However, most people cheat due to low character and morale.

Oh no doubt. Women will still cheat even if they are attracted to their man, out of low morale. But according to the general consensus around here, they are more likely to cheat if they aren't attracted to their man, as opposed to if they are.

 

[iqqi]

Oh no doubt. Women will still cheat even if they are attracted to their man, out of low morale. But according to the general consensus around here, they are more likely to cheat if they aren't attracted to their man, as opposed to if they are.

Tick's chick cheated on him from the beginning, so in this case, I am going to have to go with she has no character or morale.

Also, in most cases I have seen, the cheater cheated just to cheat, because they could. Both male and female. And it is a common practice, not related to who they are with. The only common factor is themselves.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Oh right, the "reputation" points.

Yeah... HEY!

Why do I have two bars?!

Also, in most cases I have seen, the cheater cheated just to cheat, because they could. Both male and female. And it is a common practice, not related to who they are with. The only common factor is themselves.

So they loved and respected the person they cheated on, but they just cheated to cheat? Is that basically what you're saying? Love and respect won't keep a person from cheating?

 

[iqqi]

So they loved and respected the person they cheated on, but they just cheated to cheat? Is that basically what you're saying? Love and respect won't keep a person from cheating?

I didn't say nothing bout respect. If they respected you, or most importantly, themselves, they wouldn't betray you like that. And whether or not they loved you is up for debate. Either way, it usually has more to do with them, not you.

I know plenty of people who think they are in love, but still cheat, just for the thrill, and because they figure everyone does.

 

[ketostix]

I didn't say nothing bout respect. If they respected you, or most importantly, themselves, they wouldn't betray you like that. And whether or not they loved you is up for debate. Either way, it usually has more to do with them, not you.

I know plenty of people who think they are in love, but still cheat, just for the thrill, and because they figure everyone does.

I'm going to have to agree with iqqi in this thread. Yeah I'm as shocked as anyone. But when I think she's right, I have to say it because I sure say it when I think she's wrong (which is most of the time) . His only mistake as iqqi pointed out was marrying a bad woman. Being an AFC is not cause enough for what this woman did/does.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I know plenty of people who think they are in love, but still cheat, just for the thrill, and because they figure everyone does.

Gross.

Are there you have it guys. At times we can be as attractive and successful and charming as we want but if you pick a crackhead...

...don't think she'll be putting the pipe down anytime soon just because YOU came into her life.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I am going to have to go with she has no character or morale..

Yawwwn,....:yawn:

Standard trademark garbage. What other observations are you going to pull from the Dr. Phil handbook? You know, he's pretty protective of his copyrighted material?

No one, but TICK is going to have an accurate assessment of her character, and we still only have the smallest fraction of information about this whole situation. I'm not defending her by any stretch, but we all have no idea what the particulars are. But hey, don't let that stop you, fire away with the ethics/morality angle, it makes you sound like you know what you're saying and no one can really argue against it right?


In the meantime, for the sake of us "scientists", TICK, if you'd be so kind as to give us all a more complete background of your wife and yourself, it'll really help our giving you useful advice. How old are you/her? What AFC behaviors in particular make you feel like you supplicated? How long did you date before you got married? If you want some real discernment from us you'll need to go into more detail.

 

[iqqi]

Yawwwn,....:yawn:

Standard trademark garbage. What other observations are you going to pull from the Dr. Phil handbook? You know, he's pretty protective of his copyrighted material?

No one, but TICK is going to have an accurate assessment of her character, and we still only have the smallest fraction of information about this whole situation. I'm not defending her by any stretch, but we all have no idea what the particulars are. But hey, don't let that stop you, fire away with the ethics/morality angle, it makes you sound like you know what you're saying and no one can really argue against it right?


In the meantime, for the sake of us "scientists", TICK, if you'd be so kind as to give us all a more complete background of your wife and yourself, it'll really help our giving you useful advice. How old are you/her? What AFC behaviors in particular make you feel like you supplicated? How long did you date before you got married? If you want some real discernment from us you'll need to go into more detail.

The particulars are that she cheated on him, more than once, in the beginning, and in the end.

But if you need more reasons than that, then go on ahead and get some.

As a person with respect for myself, I wouldn't need anymore reasons. Who cares if her daddy beat her/she did drugs in highschool/her parents are divorced/she cheated on the last guy and his dog/she kills babies.

She cheated in the beginning. End story. OOPS! It wasn't.

She cheated again. End story.

The next time a woman cheats on you (and noone can prevent a cheater from cheating), leave her right away. Especially if it is in the beginning. And well, if you don't, just make sure you leave her the second time around. That should be enough evidence there will be a third-100th time.

I don't watch Dr. Phil. Although I am sure he makes more than you do, for a reason. I don't watch TV at all. But thanks for the info.

 

[tick37]

I'll tell you that a year into our marriage she told me she had slept with 30 men. I immediately called her a skank with controlling my tongue. She argued the point that most women have sex with that many guys. I felt sorry for her insecure, misguided soul.

The first guy she cheated on me with was her ex-live-in-bf's best friend. To whom she dated immediately after leaving her live in bf. The 2nd and last guy she cheated on me with was her best friend's bf. She dated him before me, too. All of it boils down to is that I married a wh0re. It's that easy. She has no boundaries herself, but everything is rationalized and justified in her mind. She obviously has a vindictive nature, too. She has a very low self-esteem and uses people to make herself feel better about herself. She blames me for everything that went wrong and takes no responsibilities for her actions. I took that blame and ran with it, but not any more. I will not feel bad about it any more because it was not purely my fault. Sh1t, it wasn't even 70% my fault. It all boils down to a low morality of a woman with a weak mind who never takes the blame and always puts it on others.

She's a skank, and she will soon be homeless. That, my friends, is what she has brought on herself.