I'm Free (Almost).

[LostAndConfused]

So, I think I'm finally working toward that next stage of my mentality. I've finally accepted the fact that I'll never get a girl....I'm not mentally stable enough. And this acceptance has liberated me.

I will no longer seek approval through scoring with women.

I will no longer whine in self-pity. I don't need women.

I will no longer derive insecurity from women and lack of them.

I will realize that I'm the only one who cares about me, so I'll try to only care about my own mindset.

I'm on the road to becoming a man.

 

[KontrollerX]

Er except for the part where you say you've accepted that you'll never get a girl this is a good post.

Throw away the first part and embrace all the rest of what you said and you'll definitely be on the right road to becoming a man and happy and fulfilled in life.

Its usually when you stop caring about other people's opinions on what you should do and do what you feel like doing based on what you've learned is when you experience the greatest success you've been chasing your entire life.

 

[Interceptor]

I've finally accepted the fact that I'll never get a girl

Well, that is not good...

See, the problem is that real Men "get girls".

So if you "know" as a "fact" you will "NEVER get girls".......

you will NEVER be a Man.


That sucks for you.
Sorry, kid.

Oh well....

Good luck with that one.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Er except for the part where you say you've accepted that you'll never get a girl this is a good post.

Well no thats not the real point of this thread, but thats because I experienced an all-time low recently. Went to the psychiatrist and... I've got a couple mental disorders.

 

[Interceptor]

So how are these 'mental disorders" stopping you from being a Man?

from mximizing and deveoping your Masculinity?

 

[LostAndConfused]

So how are these 'mental disorders" stopping you from being a Man?

from mximizing and deveoping your Masculinity?

I never said they were stopping me from being a man. They just make relationships almost impossible. It won't stop me from anything else though. :rock: . I think I can be masculine and still not have to score with girls.

Anyways the point of this thread was that I've been trying to develop self-worth.

 

[Mad Manic]

See, the problem is that real Men "get girls".

So you're calling guys who get chosen due to race and class 'real men'? That skinny 5' 7" boring average looking white guy with a pretty gf is a real man just because of his race and class that the media gives status too? Please, stop preaching rubbish.

MM

 

[Interceptor]

Please, stop preaching rubbish

manic, I would say this same thing to you.
Thankkfully, no one here takes you seriously.

 

[Interceptor]

I never said they were stopping me from being a man. They just make relationships almost impossible. It won't stop me from anything else though. :rock: . I think I can be masculine and still not have to score with girls.

Anyways the point of this thread was that I've been trying to develop self-worth.

So your image of Self Worth does not include the companionship of Women?

Hmm..Interesting.




Have you ever consider going to China and becoming a Shaolin monk?

this may atually be good for you.

Anyway, if this is truly what you feel in your heart , I wish you success with it.

Be able to change directions though, adapt, and overcome.

 

[Mad Manic]

manic, I would say this same thing to you.
Thankkfully, no one here takes you seriously.

The statistics say people tend to date primarily within their race and class. Bad news for minorities. They also say that white male - asian female couples are waaaaaay more likely than the reverse. There's a lot pointing towards race and class issues affecting social dynamics. So why do you feel the need to call the winners of this 'real men' based on something they were born with/into?

MM

 

[Interceptor]

The statistics say people tend to date primarily within their race and class. Bad news for minorities. They also say that white male - asian female couples are waaaaaay more likely than the reverse. There's a lot pointing towards race and class issues affecting social dynamics. So why do you feel the need to call the winners of this 'real men' based on something they were born with/into?

MM

My defintion of "real men" does not EXCLUDE people of different Races, or "Social Classes' , or Castes or whatever..

I am not sure where you're getting this from.

In other words, a white man, or black man, or asian man, or whatever man or poor man or rich man or short man or tall man or or whatever..

ALL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE REAL MEN.

Is this clearer?

Now, if YOU want to self impose restrictions on yourself and other, by all means go ahead....but don't put words in my mouth and think that I have to accept your defitniton for myself.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

So, I think I'm finally working toward that next stage of my mentality. I've finally accepted the fact that I'll never get a girl....I'm not mentally stable enough. And this acceptance has liberated me.

I will no longer seek approval through scoring with women.

I will no longer whine in self-pity. I don't need women.

I will no longer derive insecurity from women and lack of them.

I will realize that I'm the only one who cares about me, so I'll try to only care about my own mindset.

I'm on the road to becoming a man.

No no no. This is a sure-fire way to become the next serial killer or end up all alone in the world.

First lets look at the "I'm the only one who cares about me" part. I'll use an analogy from high school. The cool kids are having a party but you were not invited. There are two things you can do
a) Convince yourself that you didn't want to go to the party because the cool kids obviously don't care about you and they are showing how much they dislike you by not inviting you
b) You can create ways to get into this party or the next one by befriending others and showing your sociability.

At the moment you are choosing A and it is really just self-delusion. While it is true that the cool kids dont care about you, I ask why should they? Because you are a human being? Well so are a couple billion people in this world. You have to be able to show why you are a special human being THEN afterwards you can focus on yourself.

Now lets look at the "I only care about my own mindset" part. If you only care about yourself how can you relate to others? That is what everyone is searching for in this world and if you live solipstically then you will not bring anything to the table for relationships.

 

[LostAndConfused]

So your image of Self Worth does not include the companionship of Women?

Hmm..Interesting.

Have you ever consider going to China and becoming a Shaolin monk?

this may atually be good for you.

Anyway, if this is truly what you feel in your heart , I wish you success with it.

Be able to change directions though, adapt, and overcome.

1) Well, almost. I want my ultimate goal to not require companionship with women. I remember a post you made a while back about not getting validation from women. Even though you are contradicting it now, I still like that advice and one of my short-term goals is to eliminate all outside sources of validation, and only seek it within myself, it that makes any sense.

2) I had a friend who asked me that a couple of months ago when this thought first crossed my mind. Nah, I don't have enough money to go over there and become a monk, plus I have other goals I want to accomplish, so I'll strive to be a monk in my own mind

Interceptor, does you idea of a "real man" have success with women? Just wondering

 

[Microphone Fiend]

So you're calling guys who get chosen due to race and class 'real men'? That skinny 5' 7" boring average looking white guy with a pretty gf is a real man just because of his race and class that the media gives status too? Please, stop preaching rubbish.

MM

While I don't think that Interceptor preaches rubbish and I understand and agree with the point he was making about how the kid can't write off women entirely, I also have to agree that the idea of 'real men getting girls' is complete and utter bullsh!t.

All you need to get a woman is a bank account with a large amount, an inclination to eating pvssy or whatever else is conducive to getting laid in this generation. Also, if the foundation of your confidence and being a real man lies in who you are dating, what happens when the women aren't around...

In the Don Juan world perhaps a 'real man' gets girls but that is because our idea of a real man is really only someone who gets women. Outside of the DJ world, a real man means things other than just being successful with women.

 

[LostAndConfused]

No no no. This is a sure-fire way to become the next serial killer or end up all alone in the world.

First lets look at the "I'm the only one who cares about me" part. I'll use an analogy from high school. The cool kids are having a party but you were not invited. There are two things you can do
a) Convince yourself that you didn't want to go to the party because the cool kids obviously don't care about you and they are showing how much they dislike you by not inviting you
b) You can create ways to get into this party or the next one by befriending others and showing your sociability.

At the moment you are choosing A and it is really just self-delusion. While it is true that the cool kids dont care about you, I ask why should they? Because you are a human being? Well so are a couple billion people in this world. You have to be able to show why you are a special human being THEN afterwards you can focus on yourself.

Now lets look at the "I only care about my own mindset" part. If you only care about yourself how can you relate to others? That is what everyone is searching for in this world and if you live solipstically then you will not bring anything to the table for relationships.

Lemme ask you this, and I'm not trying to sound like a troll but, for all my 17 years of my life I've been alone in this world. I might as well make the best of it, right? Better than than being depressed about my situation. Make my own mind a sanctuary.

Where does being sociable fit into what I've been saying? I'll still strive to be sociable, but I simply won't care about what others think of me at the end of the day.

To your specific example, I'll never go to those parties. I've been with kids at my school since 6th grade and 7 years of impression really can't change much. Plus I'm different. I'm black. Whats so wrong with the mindset "A" in the first place?

Why should they care about me? I never said they should, where are you getting this idea from? Really, no human being is special, or, are we all special because we are unique?


I really don't understand your comment about caring about my own mindset. I can relate to others on my interests. What does it have anything to do with relationships?

 

[reset]

Dude I think you'll find that if you work on becoming a man, and getting in touch with your masculinity in your life you will start looking at women and your relationship to them differently. You can't "see it" now because you're not at that point. I've been working on it and I'm "seeing it" more. I know because when I see a cute chick I don't really feel intimidated anymore. And that is kind of a new world in itself. If I'm not careful soon I'll be approaching in spite of myself.

And that intimidation I felt before was my own mind playing tricks on me, saying that I am less than her. I am less than her because, she is physically attractive, and a woman, and has a certain power over me.

WHAT??? Lol. It's a power I CHOOSE to give her in my mind. And believe it or not not too long ago that made sense to me.

 

[Evolution]

Lemme ask you this, and I'm not trying to sound like a troll but, for all my 17 years of my life I've been alone in this world. I might as well make the best of it, right? Better than than being depressed about my situation. Make my own mind a sanctuary.

If you practiced what you learned. If you make the effort into building social groups, you will never be lonely again.

What are you exactly depressed about?

Where does being sociable fit into what I've been saying? I'll still strive to be sociable, but I simply won't care about what others think of me at the end of the day.

To some extend you still have to take constructive critism.

To your specific example, I'll never go to those parties. I've been with kids at my school since 6th grade and 7 years of impression really can't change much.

Wrong, my 17 years of depressing reality was blown away when I started on the path of becoming a DJ.

Most of my friends who grew up with me knew me when I was a complete dork. Now they're blown away. The girls that wrote me off, suddenly begin to show interest in me. People's impression of you can change, believe it.

Plus I'm different. I'm black. Whats so wrong with the mindset "A" in the first place?

Being black does not give you an excuse, go watch Keys to the VIP. Two of guys on the panel are black.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

responses in bold

Lemme ask you this, and I'm not trying to sound like a troll but, for all my 17 years of my life I've been alone in this world. I might as well make the best of it, right? Better than than being depressed about my situation. Make my own mind a sanctuary.
Reality is what you make it, that is the truest thing in this world. What I'm saying is that at 17 you are hella fvcking young. You might enjoy this reality when you are 18-40 but what happens if you hit 41 and decide that it is not the reality you enjoy? You will have squandered 22 years

Where does being sociable fit into what I've been saying? I'll still strive to be sociable, but I simply won't care about what others think of me at the end of the day.
Rejecting society overtly is insociable.

To your specific example, I'll never go to those parties. I've been with kids at my school since 6th grade and 7 years of impression really can't change much. Plus I'm different. I'm black. Whats so wrong with the mindset "A" in the first place?
Well lets put it this way. You are black. Until you said that I did not know. I am black too. Being that you are black, I can relate to you more as a person (even if it is only in my head) and I feel more inclined to want to help you because you are like me, or the idea of you creates the idea of likeness in my mind. In a way, you just seduced me.

You told me something about yourself that I can relate to. In highschool I was with the same group of people for its entirety and I got NOTHING. Not a single kiss let alone girlfriend. High school was sh!t for me as well so I can relate to what you are saying and your value in relation to myself increases even further. After high school, I vowed to change and on the very first night of university, after dancing with a random girl, I went in and got my first kiss.

Why should they care about me? I never said they should, where are you getting this idea from? Really, no human being is special, or, are we all special because we are unique?
No human is special by themselves, but they become special in comparison imo. Kobe Bryant is not a good basketball player, he is a good basketball player in comparison to other people in the world, but I digress

My previous post was addressing the feeling I got that you are shunning society because it has shunned you. The point I (obviously poorly) made was that society or the cool kids don't seem to care about you because you do not care about them. If you cared enough to play by their rules, then they would let you play their game. If you come across as an outsider you will be treated as such. Once you understand it, you can be on the inside working out.

I really don't understand your comment about caring about my own mindset. I can relate to others on my interests. What does it have anything to do with relationships?
Everything

 

[LostAndConfused]

Okay so this thread has strayed away from the initial purpose...

Theres alot of "selective ignorance" going on here. People are reading only what they want to read in this thread, and replying on them and ignoring some of the big picture. I'm trying to do what Kontroller mentioned.

I've got a ton of mental problems. Back when I was even more depressed I would get into physical fights with family members all the time. Thats why I said from the beginning that I'll never be able to get a girl. I understand the game very well, I'm just not mentally stable enough for it however. Not everyone was cut out to be a DJ and I'm obviously one of those.

Never been scared of girls. In fact, as someone said in an earlier one of my threads, I've got a "superiority complex" towards them.

Microphone, can you explain how only caring about my own mindset has Everything to do with relationships?

If you practiced what you learned. If you make the effort into building social groups, you will never be lonely again.

I have made the effort. So far, its been failure. So I'm not going to worry about it until I get into college. If I get into college.

What are you exactly depressed about?

Previously...about lack of success with girls and inability to keep friends. (I have always been able to make friends but I'd lose them just as fast). Now that I've accepted my mental disorders I'm depressed no longer, for the most part.

To some extend you still have to take constructive critism.

From who? About what?

Most of my friends who grew up with me knew me when I was a complete dork. Now they're blown away. The girls that wrote me off, suddenly begin to show interest in me. People's impression of you can change, believe it.

Not at my school. Rich kids like to put everyone in their own personal "filing cabinet" and if you prove to them that you were placed in the wrong file, they just dislike you even more.

Being black does not give you an excuse, go watch Keys to the VIP. Two of guys on the panel are black.

Yeah I saw the episode with the guy who looked like Vin Diesel against the tall black dude. Pretty sweet show if you ask me, but if you knew what my school was like, you'd understand what I'm saying. That show has no bearing on my current situation. It's pretty much segregated. Black folk go to completely different out-of-school parties. Whenever they go to parties hosted by white people at my school, they only hang out and dance together.

Now of course I'd be the one who tries to break down these barriers, but it hasn't worked for me.

And 17 isn't young. I'll be 18 soon.

 

[ducaro]

yep, if you manage to get 'self worth' without the women being a part of the equation, trust me, that will be monumental development.