I'm done being honest with women

[SargeMaximus]

It’s weird because I’d argue the opposite in that I can handle more than anyone I know and it is BECAUSE I analyze things from every angle and am open and free flowing. Faux alphas who act tough and mysterious then faint at the sight of blood (I’ve experienced this). Women that go for that are dumb and not my type anyways

 

[obelisk]

It also should be viewed as relationship currency. Sharing too much at the beginning simply burns it all away up front. Women don't want men to share like a women. They need to view it as a mystery or riddle that only they were able to unlock. I like the comment about sharing proportionate to the trials and struggles that the two of you share together as well.

 

[BeExcellent]

So while I have, in the past, experienced a relationship in which we did in fact talk about everything, in exquisite detail, a woman that can handle this is a unicorn.

I also feel as I take a look back at experience with her, I know it would’ve been better if I’d been less open.

Why?

Serious question.

I do agree that women who can handle everything are rare. But so is real intimacy.

Vulnerability comes from a place of trust and a place of strength. A man’s vulnerability is something I consider privilege to be informed of, and something I guard closely.

It is a team thing.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If I have any type of game it's definitely the mystery angle, I'm like a master of getting to know people without them finding out a single thing about me, most of my guy friends don't know me that well while I know a lot about them. A lot of this stems from having high anxiety which kind of works into my favor that way

For me, the trick is to let people help you with a problem, let them demonstrate their value to you and they'll feel comfortable enough to never ask a question, like sometimes I would do this thing at Walmart where I'd walk around with my arms full of cans and drop one right in front of a woman and let her pick it up for me, then I'd ask her where the baskets are and if she could show me, I should start doing that again

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

A little too in-depth to discuss on an open forum. Just gonna have to trust me on this one.

Why?
Serious question.

 

[Solomon]

I've learned a lot of women can't handle honesty even if they request
The best is to give enough information as need be

 

[member162951]

So while I have, in the past, experienced a relationship in which we did in fact talk about everything, in exquisite detail, a woman that can handle this is a unicorn.

That's not shat she said, she said it's a balance between mystery and sharing. NOT oversharing in exquisite detail.

That is different than creating a sense of mystery that sexual tension requires. It’s a delicate balance between the two. You need both to have the chemistry in the relationship.

What I've experienced before I learned balance was in the beginning, women love the mystery and find it intriguing to fill in the blanks but once you get into the relationship, they start complaining about it, that you don't share enough, you're not open enough, talk to me dammit! Lol

The way a woman behaves and how she reacts are different depending on the stage your in.

From what I gather, many of you guys never get past the beginning, she's just another plate so yeah, while in that stage, she's gonna love the mystery and excitement, filling in the blanks what you're about.

Get into a serious relationship it's a entirely different thing and you need a balance of both like @BeExcellent posted.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Quite suprised such a vet like you has learned this just now.

I also learned this the HARD way.

Somehow women HATE it when men automatically reveal too much about themselves. It's like by doing so, men kill off the "mystery" vibes that are to woman what drugs are to junkies.

One more thing: Whatever you share, make sure it's always on a positive note. Women HATE to hear about your TRAUMA / STRESS / FAILURE as much as you HATE to hear a woman brags how many c0cks she'd sucked and how many azzholes she licked that morning before going on a date with you the same night.

I mean, come on man.

I definitely knew about this, but I have always been bad about it. Not sharing my past or my burdens or insecurities or anything like that, but generally just generally oversharing. The reason I made this thread is actually because I told a girl I've been seeing that I intend to move, and it just created so much unnecessary complication. The only reason I told her is so she'd know what she's getting into. My friend pointed out that you could do this without telling them, then suddenly move away in short notice (oh I got a job offer I cannot resist) - you don't owe them anything, and it doesn't make you a bad person to do so.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You’re making a lot of assumptions, we’ll just leave it at that.

From what I gather, many of you guys never get past the beginning, she's just another plate so yeah, while in that stage, she's gonna love the mystery and excitement, filling in the blanks what you're about.

Get into a serious relationship it's a entirely different thing and you need a balance of both like @BeExcellent posted.

 

[manfrombelow]

I definitely knew about this, but I have always been bad about it. Not sharing my past or my burdens or insecurities or anything like that, but generally just generally oversharing. The reason I made this thread is actually because I told a girl I've been seeing that I intend to move, and it just created so much unnecessary complication. The only reason I told her is so she'd know what she's getting into. My friend pointed out that you could do this without telling them, then suddenly move away in short notice (oh I got a job offer I cannot resist) - you don't owe them anything, and it doesn't make you a bad person to do so.

Think about it:

When you meet a chick, you ask her out, you give her a good time, you proceed to fvck her, and you fvck her well, and from the beginning you knew it was only sth short term. But DID YOU TELL HER THAT "Hey I'm just looking for sex at best and nothing else"?

No you don't. Because if you do, she'd never let you fvck her.

So, just don't fvcking tell them anything.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Think about it:

When you meet a chick, you ask her out, you give her a good time, you proceed to fvck her, and you fvck her well, and from the beginning you knew it was only sth short term. But DID YOU TELL HER THAT "Hey I'm just looking for sex at best and nothing else"?

No you don't. Because if you do, she'd never let you fvck her.

So, just don't fvcking tell them anything.

I think part of the reason I do things like this is due to having a strong filtering process - I want women to disqualify me in any way they can so I know the ones who remain will only be super high IL. But I think there are probably better ways to test their IL without shooting yourself in the foot. I still am generally upfront about my position on kids too - I've never wanted them, and likely never will, but lately I basically say "right now I definitely don't, but I am slowly warming up to the idea and maybe i'll change my mind in 10 years." The dumb thing about this is the woman might not even want kids at the time, but is open to them in the future, and if you completely close off that possibility you're screwing yourself over.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I think part of the reason I do things like this is due to having a strong filtering process - I want women to disqualify me in any way they can so I know the ones who remain will only be super high IL.

This is the way

 

[Gamisch]

Well as @BeExcellent proudly stated, SHE wants men to go beyond the surface level. Doesn't mean the next woman even knows about that surface level..or cares about it that much.

What OP describes is perhaps also the struggle of dealing with superficial women. You shouldn't confuse a big booty with a lotta depth gentlemen..it wood be GREAT if miss Booty Big would be a low key philosopher, but that might and probably won't be the case...

You, YOU as a man should have that depth within you regardless of the woman whose in front of you . As I said before, eventually your own filtering system/process will also apply the infamous 20/80 rule if its not rather 10/90 or even 5/95. Most women won't be a good fit for you ,or for any man of substance in general.

To dumb it down; you cant make a h0e a housewife. There's is another route tho; the pump and dump route. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...cs-vs-needed-characteristics-for-game.278827/

This is why i made such a thread. If you wanna pump-dump some (high quality)sloots left right you should become a chameleon. Its not something I personally still encourage ..
I rather be , as @BeExcellent said, the lion who observes his prey then the chameleon who changes his colors. But. The latter is still a great tool to have tho, even if its just for practicing purposes.

So OP, yes talk less and say more. Make sure that every word you say counts! NEVER try to impress a woman with words! Or materialism. It's a total package that lures her in and keeps her engaged. If she wants out, let her leave. Dont fight lost battles!

Quite suprised such a vet like you has learned this just now.

I also learned this the HARD way.

Somehow women HATE it when men automatically reveal too much about themselves. It's like by doing so, men kill off the "mystery" vibes that are to woman what drugs are to junkies.

One more thing: Whatever you share, make sure it's always on a positive note. Women HATE to hear about your TRAUMA / STRESS / FAILURE as much as you HATE to hear a woman brags how many c0cks she'd sucked and how many azzholes she licked that morning before going on a date with you the same night.

I mean, come on man.

whenever I see a man blabbing about his own life struggle pain and yadiya and the woman pretends like she's interested I IMMEDIATELY know she is probably a gold digger( status can be gold in this case). Or she just likes his looks so much she " just" want to know if he carries a heavy weapon in his pants.

Eventually she'll grow tired of his azz real quick. These types of man will shout " happy wife happy life" nonsensical qoutes. Untill they get played again. They simply don't understand the game.

 

[FlirtLife]

I'm not going to outright lie, but I am going to withhold as much relevant information about myself as I can. I'm not telling them my "intentions", my past, my stresses, my life plans, career goals, ambitions, whatever, unless they specifically ask and sincerely want to know.
...
Just shut up and divert the conversation back to them. Treat them like the cops, everything you say can be used against you.

It sounds like this was motivated by something that happened to you?

There's a danger here you swing too far, like a pendellum, from revealing too much and then hiding too much. For example, your "life plans, career goals and ambitions" may attract a woman and be important to her qualifying you.

 

[Gamisch]

It sounds like this was motivated by something that happened to you?
There's a danger here you swing too far, like a pendellum, from revealing too much and then hiding too much
. For example, your "life plans, career goals and ambitions" may attract a woman and be important to her qualifying you.

I strangely enough agree and disagree with you bro.

I agree with this: There's a danger here you swing too far, like a pendellum, from revealing too much and then hiding too much

you dont wanna be Robocop, or Terminator on a date because dating coach Mr smv 5 said to talk as less as possible because "it creates mystery " haha.

but disagree wwith this: For example, your "life plans, career goals and ambitions

the latter doesn't has to be any of her business(yet). Most men use these features to impress women, but imo its not the way to go.

E.g you could be a...freaking millionaire hiding your true worth by dressing simple, driving a 2011 3 doors Honda, and taking her on a easy date for some Moroccan thea and that's it.

If SHE asks you about it too much...you know you're dealing with a Jezebel already...

 

[FlirtLife]

I strangely enough agree and disagree with you bro.

I agree with this: There's a danger here you swing too far, like a pendellum, from revealing too much and then hiding too much

you dont wanna be Robocop, or Terminator on a date because dating coach Mr smv 5 said to talk as less as possible because "it creates mystery " haha.

but disagree wwith this: For example, your "life plans, career goals and ambitions

the latter doesn't has to be any of her business(yet). Most men use these features to impress women, but imo its not the way to go.

E.g you could be a...freaking millionaire hiding your true worth by dressing simple, driving a 2011 3 doors Honda, and taking her on a easy date for some Moroccan thea and that's it.

If SHE asks you about it too much...you know you're dealing with a Jezebel already...

I quoted OP's "life plans, career goals and ambitions" as approximately what I wanted to say, but in OPs own words. So you're kinda disagreeing with OP's first post more than me. To join that disagreement, I don't recall ever going over "life plans and career goals" on a date. Why would I plan my life with someone I've just met, unless I wanted to seem desperate?

If I can reword that more to my liking, I'd say: Women want to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. In my experience (expat), women always ask what men do on a first date - maybe as a first question. They need to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. It's a starting point for a guy to talk about himself, reveal something she needs to know, and hopefully hand the conversation back to her.

How frequently do you encounter gold diggers? They seem rather rare. I heard a celebrity claim you can tell based on what they're interested in: your watch, where you got it, how much it costs, etc.

 

[Gamisch]

I quoted OP's "life plans, career goals and ambitions" as approximately what I wanted to say, but in OPs own words. So you're kinda disagreeing with OP's first post more than me. To join that disagreement, I don't recall ever going over "life plans and career goals" on a date. Why would I plan my life with someone I've just met, unless I wanted to seem desperate?

If I can reword that more to my liking, I'd say: Women want to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. In my experience (expat), women always ask what men do on a first date - maybe as a first question. They need to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. It's a starting point for a guy to talk about himself, reveal something she needs to know, and hopefully hand the conversation back to her.

How frequently do you encounter gold diggers? They seem rather rare. I heard a celebrity claim you can tell based on what they're interested in: your watch, where you got it, how much it costs, etc.

I quoted OP's "life plans, career goals and ambitions" as approximately what I wanted to say, but in OPs own words. So you're kinda disagreeing with OP's first post more than me. To join that disagreement, I don't recall ever going over "life plans and career goals" on a date. Why would I plan my life with someone I've just met, unless I wanted to seem desperate?

If I can reword that more to my liking, I'd say: Women want to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. In my experience (expat), women always ask what men do on a first date - maybe as a first question. They need to filter out guys with no jobs who are going nowhere. It's a starting point for a guy to talk about himself, reveal something she needs to know, and hopefully hand the conversation back to her.

How frequently do you encounter gold diggers? They seem rather rare. I heard a celebrity claim you can tell based on what they're interested in: your watch, where you got it, how much it costs, etc.

oke i might've interpreted your post wrong. But..c'mon bro.

I think the no job part is overrated. A man can be "in between jobs" , he could've saved some money ect. Heck, the merciless players I've grew up with would straight up lie about the best jobs lol. They were pilots, doctors , surgeons, lawyers ect whatever HB needed tl hear...

I'll give you a prime example: I know a guy who got into a business with his family. He struggled with women all his life. BUT, now he mentioned he is a "business owner " and BOOM suddenly he matches with hb7 who doesn't mind she is one and a half heads taller than him(she's 6,2 he is 5,5 lol) and BOOM 6 months later they're living together.

I call that subliminal gold digging. I don't mean to argue with you , just wanna point out that gold diggers come in many different shapes. Its naive to think only celebrities or men with watches face this.

I've been in this game too long to miss this kinda stuff..I'd say that most women swiping left(no) on you are digging for mr just right/perfect.

But oke.

 

[BeExcellent]

The way you tell a gold digger is that they express greater interest in what you have than who you are.

This can be subtle. But women do screen for sensible reasons too. I for example required a six figure income/career in my husband because a) that’s what I earn & relate to & what my lifestyle requires with or without a man, and b) I’ve had the experience of being with someone who I had to support financially for years after his business failed (my first husband) and no way in hell I am getting in a situation like that ever again.

Obviously be careful about leading an interaction with bragging about what you have. My husband was intrigued by me based on attraction. He didn’t know my age (he assumed I was younger than him), he didn’t know my net worth (until MUCH later), he didn’t know what I drive.

The draw was attraction on both sides. That is what you want as a starting point.

 

[FlirtLife]

oke i might've interpreted your post wrong. But..c'mon bro.

I think the no job part is overrated. A man can be "in between jobs" , he could've saved some money ect.

I've been there, and explained it on dates. In my view, women detect men going nowhere by their lack of job. I personally don't know examples of those men, but they're on the dating market with plenty of time to waste. It helps to see women's job as filtering out, because then you realize "no job" risks getting filtered out.

If you say "I don't have a job" and change topics without explaining, later you'll find there's no second date. If you say "I don't have a job, but I worked as XXXX and have an interview next week", and then change topics, it works better. That's my point - women are filtering, and "no job" filters you out if you don't explain yourself.

I'll give you a prime example: I know a guy who got into a business with his family. He struggled with women all his life. BUT, now he mentioned he is a "business owner " and BOOM suddenly he matches with hb7 who doesn't mind she is one and a half heads taller than him(she's 6,2 he is 5,5 lol) and BOOM 6 months later they're living together.

I call that subliminal gold digging. I don't mean to argue with you , just wanna point out that gold diggers come in many different shapes. Its naive to think only celebrities or men with watches face this.

I've been in this game too long to miss this kinda stuff..I'd say that most women swiping left(no) on you are digging for mr just right/perfect.

My definition leans more towards the Kanye song, so a bit more narrow.

 

[Gamisch]

I've been there, and explained it on dates. In my view, women detect men going nowhere by their lack of job. I personally don't know examples of those men, but they're on the dating market with plenty of time to waste. It helps to see women's job as filtering out, because then you realize "no job" risks getting filtered out.

If you say "I don't have a job" and change topics without explaining, later you'll find there's no second date. If you say "I don't have a job, but I worked as XXXX and have an interview next week", and then change topics, it works better. That's my point - women are filtering, and "no job" filters you out if you don't explain yourself.



My definition leans more towards the Kanye song, so a bit more narrow.

Haven't heard it in while...hope Jamie is doing oke after exposing P diddy...