I'm breaking down now (long vent)

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

@Tictac What makes school hard/stpuid for me is that it isn't about things that interest me. I love the human body because I just think it's interesting. If you learn about something you enjoy, you understand it, not just memorize random facts about it. Whenever I learned about biology in school, be it high school, elementary school, or middle school, I always excelled in it naturally because I found it interesting. I wouldn't just read the pages the teacher told me to read, I would read a little extra, maybe an extra section or two. If I happened to finish the entire chapter, I would go online and read more about it. Not because anyone told me, but because it just interests me. This is why med school might even be easier in some ways than high school; I would actually find the topics interesting.

@Dhoulmagus, I already got admitted to the university of my choice.

 

[dustmuffin]

I want to tell you my story in a sped up version.

At age 15 i was where you were. My social life was non-existent, i hated boring school (but got excellent grades), and generally hated my life. My mother is overbearing, and all i ever did was sit around the house doing nothing.

I used drugs, quite a bit. It fvcked me up for a long time, and made the whole situation a lot worse than it would have been otherwise. I developed a very minute social anxiety and would always want to be high, which was a terrible mindset. Then i joined here. At that point, my parents had found out about everything and let me tell you, it ruined the rest of my teenage years. I learned to constantly lie to them and it has now fvcked up my relationship with my mom. My dad and i have always gotten along and shared similar viewpoints. He taught me things and i learned a lot from him, meanwhile my mom would rather "talk" (really yell) at me for 2 hours a day. She had always been like that, but after she found out it got three times as bad.

And now, here i am, last night i left open a rooshv webpage on the computer and she saw it. Her being a very disturbed woman, she overreacted. Told me she was kicking me out of the house. My dad got home and didnt understand why she reacted the way she did. He understands being an 18 year old male, my mother does not. Then she fed me the biggest lines of bs feminism for 7 hours between 4pm yesterday and 10am today. My phone's been taken (no social life with it gone, im homeschooled this year), cant drive, cant go to the gym, cant do sh!t.

Morale of my story: learn from your mistakes. I have a real difficult time with that, as well as listening to my mother. But i know she does it because she loves me, im just growing into my own man that she admits "she does not like to be around". I wish i could go back, but i cant. All we can change is the future, so do your best to get through this. When you go to college, youll have a ton of free time to do this stuff. Maybe not having much of a social life is a good thing for a while, itll give you a chance to focus on you. I know you dont want to hear that, and neither would i, but we're in the same boat man. I mean i have to stay at home all day doing homework and chores with my mom always around. It's not fun, trust me. But it will change, and we both have a ton of life left in us.

I'm not getting emotional about this, and i think that's where you need to be too. Just step back and look at life a little differently.

Does your dad tell your m to knock off the talks? To level you alon

 

[Tictac]

@Tictac What makes school hard/stpuid for me is that it isn't about things that interest me. I love the human body because I just think it's interesting. If you learn about something you enjoy, you understand it, not just memorize random facts about it. Whenever I learned about biology in school, be it high school, elementary school, or middle school, I always excelled in it naturally because I found it interesting. I wouldn't just read the pages the teacher told me to read, I would read a little extra, maybe an extra section or two. If I happened to finish the entire chapter, I would go online and read more about it. Not because anyone told me, but because it just interests me. This is why med school might even be easier in some ways than high school; I would actually find the topics interesting.

@Dhoulmagus, I already got admitted to the university of my choice.

When you can figure out how to take only the classes that interest you instead of the ones required of you to pursue your career interest, let us know.

No doctor that works on me (or anyone else) will be one that opted out of courses (like microbiology and organic chemistry) necessary to be a surgeon, much less a doctor, because those courses weren't interesting enough for them. They are absolutely required if you want to pretend you understand a living thing well enough to improve its health, put medicine in it or start cutting on it.

It's good that you're interested in biology. But you are not going to make it as an autodidact.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Getting in to medical school and you will have to have good grades and outside experience to be admitted. I know guys three years out of college that couldn't get into medical school that are still trying to. You will need very supportive parents and good environment to do this. If your parents are not willing to pay for your college expenses then you are taking a huge gamble.

 

[dustmuffin]

No, because he just doesnt want conflict. She'll just scream for hours. I'd like for them to get divorced so i can just live with my dad and do my thing.

Well to bad you are not my son. I would tell her to shut the hell up and leave you alone. Can you get up and leave? I use this on my 79 year old mother when she is giving me a dose of displaced anger.

 

[dustmuffin]

haha, grass is greener my man. I cannot, she will flip sh!t and calls it "emotional blackmail". Ah, gotta laugh at her antics. Eight more months and im gone!

She flips **** to get her way. I understand why you put up with it. Does your dad get yelled at too?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

When you can figure out how to take only the classes that interest you instead of the ones required of you to pursue your career interest, let us know.

No doctor that works on me (or anyone else) will be one that opted out of courses (like microbiology and organic chemistry) necessary to be a surgeon, much less a doctor, because those courses weren't interesting enough for them. They are absolutely required if you want to pretend you understand a living thing well enough to improve its health, put medicine in it or start cutting on it.

It's good that you're interested in biology. But you are not going to make it as an autodidact.

I was told by several people to only take the required courses, and nothing the advisors recommend you because it's completely bogus. My cousin is on the board of acceptance for med school in some university and told me to take all easy classes except for the required ones to focus solely on those. Major isn't important in the sense that you NEED to be a bio major, rather he and all his coworkers look at it as what he explains "hey look, it's finally some guy who isn't a bio or psych major. This guy does theatre. That's pretty cool! AND he got an A in organic chemistry!" (This guy got accepted) According to him, that's a weeder for people cuz it's so hard. He said that the importance to them is ranked as your MCAT scores, then your GPA (hence why he told me to take an easy major), then your individual grades for chemistry, organic chemistry, physics, and biology. He said they don't care where you take, just where you graduated from too (like I can take one of these at a community college since it's better/easier over the summer and they won't care that you took it at the community college because you still technically graduated from their school).

Getting in to medical school and you will have to have good grades and outside experience to be admitted. I know guys three years out of college that couldn't get into medical school that are still trying to. You will need very supportive parents and good environment to do this. If your parents are not willing to pay for your college expenses then you are taking a huge gamble.

My dad is so strongly for me and my siblings becoming a doctor that he says "I won't accept you as my son otherwise, nor will I pay for college if you don't become a doctor". He is honestly half the reason why I want to become a doctor to be honest.

Also, what do you mean by I need to have outside experience to be admitted? Do I need to do a job shadowing-type of thing? Do I need to volunteer as an assistant or something similar?

 

[logicallefty]

My dad is so strongly for me and my siblings becoming a doctor that he says "I won't accept you as my son otherwise, nor will I pay for college if you don't become a doctor". He is honestly half the reason why I want to become a doctor to be honest.

Oh man, that's not even right.... If you don't have a genuine interest in being a doctor then you must find a way to bail on it.... I hate parents who dictate like that..

Anyway... Have you considered the military? Then you can GTFO from your dad pushing you to be a doctor, and be set on college later.. I have never been in the military but often wish I had enlisted back when I was 18.. I know 2 guys who joined within the past year and they both love it, best thing they ever did. Ironically, both said guys are sons of my 2 craziest exes that I keep in touch with.. They joined just so they could get away from their BPD sociopathic mothers.. go figure..

 

[parkthebus]

After a year of your "boring factory job" going no where in life you would trade your left nut to be back where you are now. But by all means, find out the hard way.

I still work a boring factory job. I'm working long hours to save money to get to where I want to be in life and enjoying seeing my balance rise. Alls good

 

[parkthebus]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I know it may seem hard now, but don't let your dad dictate everything you do. Youre of legal age to choose if you commute or move. If you have a fall out you've always got the government as a safety net. Youre getting to the age where you need to start making decisions even if it goes against your parents wishes. It will cause some friction but they will have to learn to accept it. Ask yourself, what parents wouldn't ever adapt to you making your own choices?

 

[Yewki]

I still work a boring factory job. I'm working long hours to save money to get to where I want to be in life and enjoying seeing my balance rise. Alls good

So you're like the kid from Good Will Hunting, but probably not a genius?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I didn't read the post, may be skimmed a little.

The thing is, life is mundane, if you don't make it less so. Difficult when you're living under your parents guard. That won't last forever though,. Once you get out in to the world, the more knowledge you have accumulated prior to that, the better. Acceptance is key. To most situations. If you can do something to change your circumstance, do so. If not,accept. But no situation lasts forever, unless you allow it.

I'll pick upon two points:

1) With view to your mind being over-active, may be you aren't stretching it enough. If you can't sleep, read instead. I have wasted hours of my life 'trying to get to sleep' becuase I thought I should be going to bed, when I clearly wasn't tired. Equally, if you are REALLY putting 101% effort in to all of your activities, you would be falling asleep before midnight every evening.

2) Don't go to school where your parents want. Go where YOU want. You're a big boy. Make your own decisions. If the issue is financial, you'll have to find a way of supporting yourself. If you commute, you can expect a few more years of your current feeling of relative incarceration; which is probably half your probem.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Oh man, that's not even right.... If you don't have a genuine interest in being a doctor then you must find a way to bail on it.... I hate parents who dictate like that..

Anyway... Have you considered the military? Then you can GTFO from your dad pushing you to be a doctor, and be set on college later.. I have never been in the military but often wish I had enlisted back when I was 18.. I know 2 guys who joined within the past year and they both love it, best thing they ever did. Ironically, both said guys are sons of my 2 craziest exes that I keep in touch with.. They joined just so they could get away from their BPD sociopathic mothers.. go figure..

I do have interests in this. I mean maybe I won't like EVERYTHING about the job, but the vast majority of it seems like quite the bargain to me.
1. It's about the human body.
2. Top 1% cash flow.
3. You tend not to wake up as early in the mornings because most people don't go breaking their bones or tearing muscles in the middle of the night.
4. I was thinking about being a cardiothoracic surgeon, but the above reason changed my mind and the fact that these surgeons tend to be more sociopathic and serious because the lives of their patients is literally in their hands. Orthopeadic surgeons tend to be more like "Hey what's your max bench? Ever scored a hat trick in hockey before? What's the hardest you've ever checked someone?" because most injuries are sports related so they tend to be around more fun people and are thus more fun themselves.
5. It's hands-on and is active if you need to run from room to room. I cannot sit at a desk filing paperwork in a cubicle all day. I would pull my hair out.

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! I know it may seem hard now, but don't let your dad dictate everything you do. Youre of legal age to choose if you commute or move. If you have a fall out you've always got the government as a safety net. Youre getting to the age where you need to start making decisions even if it goes against your parents wishes. It will cause some friction but they will have to learn to accept it. Ask yourself, what parents wouldn't ever adapt to you making your own choices?

I've been having arguments with my dad more often, though recently it has toned down some. He wants what I can't give him, so it's like why even try? I posted a thread about it on here not too long ago and got bashed because I live under his roof (which I understand, but it's conflicting because you guys teach me to be a man and make my own decisions, to actually grow up, yet I still need to take orders from my dad ALL the time. That's another dilemma of mine). He's basically telling me he wants me to grow up but doesn't want me to do what I want and only wants me to listen to him. Well I did that for the first 12 years of my life and was a useless sack of crap. Then I refused to listen to him or anybody, did what I wanted to do (became a jerk) and life got better and fast. He became impressed with me and layed off for a good while. Now it's like he can't stand another upcoming neophyte alpha. I just learned to avoid him though.

I didn't read the post, may be skimmed a little.

The thing is, life is mundane, if you don't make it less so. Difficult when you're living under your parents guard. That won't last forever though,. Once you get out in to the world, the more knowledge you have accumulated prior to that, the better. Acceptance is key. To most situations. If you can do something to change your circumstance, do so. If not,accept. But no situation lasts forever, unless you allow it.

I'll pick upon two points:

1) With view to your mind being over-active, may be you aren't stretching it enough. If you can't sleep, read instead. I have wasted hours of my life 'trying to get to sleep' becuase I thought I should be going to bed, when I clearly wasn't tired. Equally, if you are REALLY putting 101% effort in to all of your activities, you would be falling asleep before midnight every evening.

2) Don't go to school where your parents want. Go where YOU want. You're a big boy. Make your own decisions. If the issue is financial, you'll have to find a way of supporting yourself. If you commute, you can expect a few more years of your current feeling of relative incarceration; which is probably half your probem.

I can't sleep even if I do feel tired. My circadian rhythm is all messed up because of my sleeping patterns. I always had to wake up for morning practices but stayed up late for homework or eating. Plus I'm a teenager so that messes it up even more. At school, falling asleep is a piece of cake. In bed, I need to wait till like 1:00 or 2:00 AM sometimes (usually I fall asleep at around 11:00 - 11:30 though).

 

[marmel75]

I do have interests in this. I mean maybe I won't like EVERYTHING about the job, but the vast majority of it seems like quite the bargain to me.
1. It's about the human body.
2. Top 1% cash flow.
3. You tend not to wake up as early in the mornings because most people don't go breaking their bones or tearing muscles in the middle of the night.
4. I was thinking about being a cardiothoracic surgeon, but the above reason changed my mind and the fact that these surgeons tend to be more sociopathic and serious because the lives of their patients is literally in their hands. Orthopeadic surgeons tend to be more like "Hey what's your max bench? Ever scored a hat trick in hockey before? What's the hardest you've ever checked someone?" because most injuries are sports related so they tend to be around more fun people and are thus more fun themselves.
5. It's hands-on and is active if you need to run from room to room. I cannot sit at a desk filing paperwork in a cubicle all day. I would pull my hair out.

I've been having arguments with my dad more often, though recently it has toned down some. He wants what I can't give him, so it's like why even try? I posted a thread about it on here not too long ago and got bashed because I live under his roof (which I understand, but it's conflicting because you guys teach me to be a man and make my own decisions, to actually grow up, yet I still need to take orders from my dad ALL the time. That's another dilemma of mine). He's basically telling me he wants me to grow up but doesn't want me to do what I want and only wants me to listen to him. Well I did that for the first 12 years of my life and was a useless sack of crap. Then I refused to listen to him or anybody, did what I wanted to do (became a jerk) and life got better and fast. He became impressed with me and layed off for a good while. Now it's like he can't stand another upcoming neophyte alpha. I just learned to avoid him though.

I can't sleep even if I do feel tired. My circadian rhythm is all messed up because of my sleeping patterns. I always had to wake up for morning practices but stayed up late for homework or eating. Plus I'm a teenager so that messes it up even more. At school, falling asleep is a piece of cake. In bed, I need to wait till like 1:00 or 2:00 AM sometimes (usually I fall asleep at around 11:00 - 11:30 though).

That's one of the biggest signs of overtraining. Inability to fall asleep because your sympathetic nervous system becomes overactive while your parasympathetic nervous system becomes less active. Your body becomes over stimulated and has trouble de-stimulating itself even at rest...

 

[Southbound29]

"Buckle up. This is life. And you haven't even started yet."

The above statement from a previous poster is the most correct and honest reply you will get on here. Your life is just beginning and it will only get harder from here on out. The only thing you have control over is how you deal with it. You can man up, tackle it head on and own it or you can kick and flail while it slowly pulls you down. A lot of people including myself thought life was tough when we were young until we got out into the real world and reality gave us our first solid kick in the nuts.

As far as activities go I think you should focus on the things you really love and think about stepping away from things that you don't really get excited about. School is a must but beyond that you're gonna have to establish where your priorities lie and adjust accordingly.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

That's one of the biggest signs of overtraining. Inability to fall asleep because your sympathetic nervous system becomes overactive while your parasympathetic nervous system becomes less active. Your body becomes over stimulated and has trouble de-stimulating itself even at rest...

I probably am overtrained. But I think it's because of a constant lack of sleep. They say teenagers need at least 10 hours of sleep. I get like 6 1/2 usually. This was actually my breaking point though. I wanted to sleep in for one day because I was dead after finishing up an essay.

"Buckle up. This is life. And you haven't even started yet."

The above statement from a previous poster is the most correct and honest reply you will get on here. Your life is just beginning and it will only get harder from here on out. The only thing you have control over is how you deal with it. You can man up, tackle it head on and own it or you can kick and flail while it slowly pulls you down. A lot of people including myself thought life was tough when we were young until we got out into the real world and reality gave us our first solid kick in the nuts.

As far as activities go I think you should focus on the things you really love and think about stepping away from things that you don't really get excited about. School is a must but beyond that you're gonna have to establish where your priorities lie and adjust accordingly.

The thing is, I know what I want to do and how I'm going to get there. But these bumps in the road do wear you down after a while, and I'm not strong or tough enough yet to deal with it which I hate. I don't have enough discipline as I would like either anymore, and it's really hard to build up that discipline again after we moved. I'm just going through the motions of things and I don't really feel awake or like anything is real anymore. I think I'm getting too tired.

 

[parkthebus]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! If he critisizes you or says that, tell dad, "look dad, this is what I think will make me happy and maybe it isn't the right choice but its the one I'm going to make. Arguing with me about it isn't going to change mymind, it'll only cause friction between us. If I'm wrong as you think, then you'll just have to let me learn from my mistakes".

Every now and then, the other day even, I realise my dad was hinting at a mistake I was making in my choices but chose not too say anything because he knew I wouldn't listen and would have to learn the hard way. He told me he did this once and now I see it happening all the time. I might be somewhere better in life had I recieved advice and acted on it but wouldn't be wiser than most people my age because of that. That wisdom will hopefully serve me well later in life when the stakes are higher.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! If he critisizes you or says that, tell dad, "look dad, this is what I think will make me happy and maybe it isn't the right choice but its the one I'm going to make. Arguing with me about it isn't going to change mymind, it'll only cause friction between us. If I'm wrong as you think, then you'll just have to let me learn from my mistakes".

Every now and then, the other day even, I realise my dad was hinting at a mistake I was making in my choices but chose not too say anything because he knew I wouldn't listen and would have to learn the hard way. He told me he did this once and now I see it happening all the time. I might be somewhere better in life had I recieved advice and acted on it but wouldn't be wiser than most people my age because of that. That wisdom will hopefully serve me well later in life when the stakes are higher.

No way man. He has a 'don't talk, just do' kind of mentality. He hates talking about problems and just runs away from all family issues. He and hates being shown up for who he is too. Like if I take a shower he'll go ahead and yell at me to turn on the fan because mold can grow on the walls and he's gonna have to spend a lot of money on it to fix it, but then the next day he'll yell at me again and tell me that I'm wasting money by jacking up the electric bill with the fan on. But he does this with everything. He told my sister that playing college tennis is stupid and that a scholarship means nothing, but now he wants me to apply for FAFSA and says that it wasn't a smart idea for her to quit tennis now. Little stuff like that add up over time so it's like why try to please him?

His advice is said in such a self-righteous way that if you do anything different, you're a complete ****ing moron and a shameful idiot.

I stopped caring what he said about me (my parents in general tbh) in general about 3 - 4 years ago so I'm not really phased. But what pisses me off is that he wanted me and my brother to build a desk he ordered in the new house and he kept on saying I was worthless. I don't care what be thinks, but when he is trying to start something and goes out of his way for a pretty attempt to get mad at me, that part annoys me. I built the desk anyway, my brother still hasn't built his and its been like 2 months. My dad doesn't even notice his desk isn't built yet which is dumb. He's always gottta be up my ass over the stupidest of things so I tell him to get off my case a lot.

I've come to terms a while back that talking won't do ****, just do your own thing. But I'm dependent on him right now though so when it comes to major decisions (like moving) I have no say.

 

[JohnChops]

If you want to get into medical school, they only care about your college gpa, how you've given back to your community, who do you know in the medical field, and mcat scores. Better study up.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I was told by several people to only take the required courses, and nothing the advisors recommend you because it's completely bogus. My cousin is on the board of acceptance for med school in some university and told me to take all easy classes except for the required ones to focus solely on those. Major isn't important in the sense that you NEED to be a bio major, rather he and all his coworkers look at it as what he explains "hey look, it's finally some guy who isn't a bio or psych major. This guy does theatre. That's pretty cool! AND he got an A in organic chemistry!" (This guy got accepted) According to him, that's a weeder for people cuz it's so hard. He said that the importance to them is ranked as your MCAT scores, then your GPA (hence why he told me to take an easy major), then your individual grades for chemistry, organic chemistry, physics, and biology. He said they don't care where you take, just where you graduated from too (like I can take one of these at a community college since it's better/easier over the summer and they won't care that you took it at the community college because you still technically graduated from their school).

My dad is so strongly for me and my siblings becoming a doctor that he says "I won't accept you as my son otherwise, nor will I pay for college if you don't become a doctor". He is honestly half the reason why I want to become a doctor to be honest.

Also, what do you mean by I need to have outside experience to be admitted? Do I need to do a job shadowing-type of thing? Do I need to volunteer as an assistant or something similar?

They have to do a lot ****. Only try to be a doctor if you want to be one. You will not have a life for a long time and if you **** up then you are screwed like no other. Only be a doctor if your parents are rich or you are a genius. There are other medical careers that aren't as stressful and still make a decent salary. If you want to be rich than you are going to have to sale **** or own ****.