I'm a joke...no respect

[jcb1772]

First off...I'm weak and skinny. Working on it, but it's been a slow process gaining strength for me. So I shouldn't be surprised that I'm usually treated with no respect at all from the guys.

Now, I'm not getting picked on in the cold, evil, gangster sense. Rather, they do it in FUN and almost JOKINGLY. As if, I'm a joke. The thing is, I always laugh with them...try to defend myself verbally (usually never works). I'm the kid who a lot of guys will take advantage of first when it comes to food stealing, writing crud on my paper...not to be mean or bullies, just to have fun. Because what will I do about it? NOTHING! I'm weak and defenseless. I'll smile and make a pathetic attempt to stop...usually I'll fail. I suppose I give the impression I don't mind and have fun with the interaction too.

Hey, I'm fairly well-known. But I'd say most people know me as a quiet-yet-goofy (hope that makes sense) weakling who's loads of fun to mess with. On the fortunate side, I'm not a boring nerd who other guys see invisible...HEH, the guys see me alright. But they don't get this kind of attention the way I do. Not to sound retarded, but one part of me LIKES the attention. However, there are girls too...and I don't want to be known this way. I want guys (and girls) to actually respect me for a change. Probably don't have much shot at getting girls if they know my current rep. Any help on how I can fix this?

 

[joe5046]

i used to be a very shy, quiet loser, but thankfully now im a loud obnoxious loser... if theres one thing that changed me... it was telling the girl i liked i had a crush on her... actually it was rather more complicated than that, but after that one step, and finding out that she doesn't think of me any less, I just came out of my shell.

 

[BxPrince24]

I say you should sign yourself up for boxing classes. They help you get your mass up and you learn how to defend yourself + take a hit.

If something done to you truly is not funny to you then you should not laugh along and don't smile about it. Don't take sh*t from people just because they're bigger than you.

And your confidence is pretty damn low. You call yourself weak, yet there are many guys that are your build out there who don't take sh*t and are not afraid to fight if they have to.

Your mindset has to change. Stop thinking I'm weak. Stop lauging when they piss you off. Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to get your ass kicked. It says a lot more if you stand up for yourself and take a beating while fighting back than to just laugh when you're insulted or bullied.

Start eating more, check out the Health and fitness forum and look at the Bulking up thread, that should help you gain more mass.

 

[BxPrince24]

Also, girls don't want pushovers. So that "attention" that you enjoy won't get you anywhere. But it's good that you're known. So if you stand up for yourself, I'm sure someone would probably butt in and tell whoever's messing with you to leave you alone.

Also if you would like some info on fighting and pressure points, where and how to hit an opponent to disable/render them unconcious then leave your e-mail and I'll send you some e-books.

I would also recommend you start going to a gym and use a punching/body bag if you can. Learn how to punch without hurting yourself. Learn the fighting stance, keep your hands up to protect your face and elbows in so that you can block a hit to the gut. When you punch with one hand make sure the other is blocking the opposite side of your face. Be sure to stay loose, when you punch, tense your hand on the hit. Don't keep your hand tense with the whole punch, if you do that, you will risk breaking your knuckles, for instance, if you accidentally punch someone on their forehead. Even though you're gonna tighten the grip when you hit, still throw the punch with enough strength that you hit your target and put your body into your punches.

 

[we all eat food]

i feel the same way man.

 

[jcb1772]

Yeah, I'll admit I don't have much confidence...mainly because I've dealt with this kind of stuff since middle school. The fact that I'm a weak, nice, pushover, goofy guy is bait for being picked on I suppose.

Also, it's becoming annoying that I can hardly ever be in any guys crowd without all the attention turned towards me...messing with me, usually. Like today a bunch of guys were trying to get me to show some dance moves in the hallway..."come on jcb, show us your dance moves!!" "yeah, show us!!" "come on man!!" ...It was for a good reason...to people's surprise, I danced a ton at a recent party . But seriously, like I'd just start doing some random dance moves in front of a MASS OF GUYS in the HALL with NO MUSIC and NO ONE else dancing with me. Riiiiiight. They were just all picking on me, as usual...and it doesn't take an idiot to realize they just wanted to laugh AT me.

That's just an example of the kind of attention I get. Not the kind I want if I want to get girls.

I usually don't get pissed...but if some guys do take it too far, I think you're correct that I need to show more anger, and stand up. Boxing lessons sounds interesting too. It would be helpful to fight back when needed.

 

[BxPrince24]

yea, boxing would definately help you out, even if you don't want to enter tournaments. Just the training, bulking, and sparring alone would help you out a lot. And you're well known, so once you're getting buff/bigger the ladies will notice. Also expect the guys to rag on you aswell.

If you do decide to take boxing lessons do not tell anyone about it. Let that be your little mystery. The only way someone should find out is if they try to fight you and they end up cold on the floor.

What you can do for now is, like I said, don't laugh at their jokes that you don't find funny. I laugh when ppl joke about me as long as I find it funny, if I don't find it funny they know it and I put an end to it. Also when ppl joke about me I retaliate with a more funnier joke about them.

For instance, lets look at that dance situation. If it was me I would had said " Do I look like a male stripper to you? Go back to circle jerking the sh*t outta each other and leave the straight guys alone u f*cking fairies."

now being that they're not used to u retaliating, that could potentially cause a fight. So I would have said why don't you show us your moves first and then walk off.

Just don't take things so lightly.

 

[redbullfbu]

girls are dumb they dc wat u are to guys as long as ur not a nerd. if u got the game u can get ne 1

 

[Namelisswonder5]

Two words WEIGHT ROOM, solves all problems, im 16 and my arms are 18 & 1/2 inches. Im proly one of the guys your talkin about tho.

 

[BxPrince24]

Originally posted by Namelisswonder5
Two words WEIGHT ROOM, solves all problems, im 16 and my arms are 18 & 1/2 inches. Im proly one of the guys your talkin about tho.

The weight room would be good, but as an add on to boxing classes. Those classes will help him with confidence, teach him how to fight and take hits, and it will improve his build faster than solo training in a weight room.

 

[Namelisswonder5]

Originally posted by BxPrince24
The weight room would be good, but as an add on to boxing classes. Those classes will help him with confidence, teach him how to fight and take hits, and it will improve his build faster than solo training in a weight room.

Good advice Prince, and remeber if you do sign up for boxing dont use your skills at school, dont become a bully.

 

[Kidd]

I'm a pretty skinny guy, 6'0 and around 135, currently working on bulking up.

But I don't let anyone mess with me. If people try to give me ****, I wont sit there and smile awkwardly, I stand the hell up for myself. I'm also a kickboxer of 4 years, but so far I've never had to resort to that because it usually never gets that far.

I strongly suggest that you get to the gym and start lifting.

People will only take advantage of you as much as you let them. Take it from someone who's experienced this thing before.

NEVER be afraid to stand up for yourself. If some dude tries to take your food or mess with your stuff, tell him to ****ing stop. Doesen't matter if he's bigger than you.

You don't have to get all crazy and defensive about it, but let people know you don't like being ****ed with.

 

[S-lemond]

im small to im 6'2 180 well i lost 10 pounds because i havent been lifting lately so im 170...but im telling u lifting works miracles i used to be 152 beofre i lifted...and i went up to 180 in 6weeks....its worth it man i promise u, i gotta get started again....o and the strenght u gain is incredable

 

[Jay-X]

that sounds exactly like me a year ago! if you don't believe, look for some old posts of mine and you'll see that i was asking for help about your same exact issues...

what can i tell you? lift weights.
i know, it's common advice and what you're thinking is:

"ok, i'm lifting weights, but how can this help me? people won't even notice when i have my clothes on"

guess what? people notice... your shoulders start to get wider almost immediately, your posture improves and you look far better.

at first, i thought "will this really help? i don't think so, but who gives, at least i'll have a better body for the summer"

now i have a really nice body + i'm really more respected. i don't know why, since i'm a small guy (barely 5'9), but classmates always seem intimidated when they're about to make a joke about me. not scared about my reaction, just they tend to say the joke in a trembling way, like they're afraid i'll get p1ssed or i'll playfully hit them (which i do, and i swear it works if you hit pretty hard!)



anyway, i have to tell you one thing: girls will be more distant. i noticed this right this morning, that girls don't seem me as much approachable as before. i guess you'll have to do much of the work and be the one who approaches

 

[sandmandr]

It's about inner game - not outer game.

It's not how big your muscles are that matter, but how big you THINK your muscles are that matter.

Maybe weight training will make you feel more confident when you tell guys to shut up, but I guess you'll have to wait until forever when you get those muscles.

You could just look them straight in the face and the eyes with the most serious expression and not say anything and have your face stone-cold. Maybe that'll give them a hint that you dont like it and eventually, they'll stop completely. You dont have to look tough for that to happen. You just have to "feel" tough.

It's about projecting that you're THE man. You're Alpha. Not someone else. And if you think that getting muscles suddenly makes you alpha, then you are really mistaken.

 

[johnmich]

Its like that for me. We are a group who rag each other a lot but i seem to get ragged the most (they call me jewish, even tho i am not). When lasses are there, it feels bad cos if they keep goin on, theres nowt you can do.
I can defend myself fine but im not gonna turn round and start on my mates. I normally hit em - not seriously but firmly to stop em.
Any lines i could use on them to shut them up. To kinda turn it back on them?

 

[BxPrince24]

tell me some stuff about them. what do they like to do, anything lame about them or geeky or wack. I'll give you lines that make you the king of disses.

But becoming the king of snaps require you to know what to say and how to say it. You can totally crack on their appearance, how they speak, what they say, etc....

For example, lets say one of your friends looks pretty sweaty or shiny, or greased hair.

You look like you've shined up to be somebody's b*tch. The hell are you so greasy for? You look like you've been gangbanged by the whole block. What happened? Daddy made you his b*tch again last night?

Or someone who think's they're the man.

What the hell are you cracking on me for? You're the only dumb b*tch I've seen that acts cool in school then becomes daddy's little b*tch at home, you f*cking king of the cok ass mutha-f*cka!

Or someone who wears glasses.

You cracking on me real hard, but it's ok. Y don't u tell them how u got your glasses. Nah, I'll tell them. This STUPID B*TCH right here got poked in the eye by his girlfriend's d*ck. Yes, u heard me right. His thick, musty, mustache havin, cok-eyed b*tch told his dumb ass to go down on her and he got knocked the f*ck out by her little surprise, u f*cking tranny f*cker.

 

[sandmandr]

just today, i was with my friends during lunch and we were sitting besides this other few kids.

one of them outta-nowhere just suddenly started blabbing about me like how I have issues. Everytime he did, his friends started laughing stupidly. Now he's a tough guy, and I'm not as tough as him. But here is what I did.

I took a chair and sat right beside him, put an arm around his shoulder like you would to a child, and told him, "yeah..go on buddy."

He said a few things..i laughed my ass off. I just kept on saying "yeah..so what?" After sometimes, I ask him if he's done. I tell me "i dont give a **** what other people think of me. you least of all. so you just wasted all your breath saying crap that i dont care about anyways. so...i dont give a ****..and you can go screw yourself."

I pat him on the back, and walk back to my friends without any sense of embarssement.

The moment you let someone else tell you how you should be, or the moment you let what someone else tells you about yourself get to your head, that when you've lost charge. If that's gonna happen to you, there's no point PU-ing.

 

[GateKeeper]

some people can be true **** heads, for real.


Don Juans, if you make it to a point, or have already made it, where you are the alpha male... don't be a total ass hole. Get the girls you want, establish your dominance, but no need to cut down and constantly disrespect everyone. I think that is mother F***ing pathetic.

 

[Daral]

I'm pretty confident that how muscular you are is, while helpful, not at all essential for gaining respect. I personally almost never work out, am in generally bad shape (although not overweight or whatever), 5'10", 140 lbs, but few if any people ever f*** with me because I just don't take it. Only people who know me would even try to f*** with me, but I'm not afraid to tell them when they're pissing me off, so they either learn when to stop pissing me off or I stop hanging out with them, and so far I haven't had to drop any of my friends for that sh**. It really is that simple.