I'm 40, I want kids

[BeExcellent]

Well. Cheating is about character. People who cheat are liars and are dishonest and breach a sacred trust. I take my vows seriously and did not cheat on my first husband, and will not cheat now.

If you are unhappy where you'd seriously consider cheating, its time to break up or its time to be brutally honest. You are not cheating if you negotiate non-monogamy in your relationship. But this is not for the faint of heart, and some women will leave the relationship under those circumstances. At the end of the day trust is paramount. Without trust you have nothing, and you risk seriously wounding another person emotionally. Not cool.

If you cannot be faithful and you cannot be honest, either of those things represent a serious character flaw, and you should not commit yourself in a marriage where the wife expects monogamy if you are incapable or unwilling to give it. This goes for women too. It cuts both ways.

There are women with great character out there. Character functions independent of looks; in fact it can be very rare to find an available great beauty with great character. They exist, but they know their value so you need to have yourself together. They get locked down quickly.

I dsagree about marriage. Be careful about the assumptions you make. I know many happy marrieds who have active sex lives and who have raised families and are enjoying being boyfriend/girlfriend all over again as empty nesters. Think of the old Italian grandparents who still are dancing at weddings and still in love after 60+ years. I know couples like this. They have a joy about them that is wonderful to be around.

Most importantly, consider what is important to YOU as a man. List the qualities you want in a woman. List your deal breakers and your life goals. That way you put your subconscious mind on notice so your subconscious can be screening as you go about life.

You never know where you'll run into the gal who fits your agenda & comes along for the ride. She could be anywhere. So you have to be open minded and paying attention. Your subconscious will do this in the background if you tell it what to look for.

This is why being your best self matters. We all need to bring our A game in relationship. And we need to encourage and require it in a partner as well.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Well. Cheating is about character. People who cheat are liars and are dishonest and breach a sacred trust. I take my vows seriously and did not cheat on my first husband, and will not cheat now.

If you are unhappy where you'd seriously consider cheating, its time to break up or its time to be brutally honest. You are not cheating if you negotiate non-monogamy in your relationship. But this is not for the faint of heart, and some women will leave the relationship under those circumstances. At the end of the day trust is paramount. Without trust you have nothing, and you risk seriously wounding another person emotionally. Not cool.

If you cannot be faithful and you cannot be honest, either of those things represent a serious character flaw, and you should not commit yourself in a marriage where the wife expects monogamy if you are incapable or unwilling to give it. This goes for women too. It cuts both ways.

There are women with great character out there. Character functions independent of looks; in fact it can be very rare to find an available great beauty with great character. They exist, but they know their value so you need to have yourself together. They get locked down quickly.

I dsagree about marriage. Be careful about the assumptions you make. I know many happy marrieds who have active sex lives and who have raised families and are enjoying being boyfriend/girlfriend all over again as empty nesters. Think of the old Italian grandparents who still are dancing at weddings and still in love after 60+ years. I know couples like this. They have a joy about them that is wonderful to be around.

Most importantly, consider what is important to YOU as a man. List the qualities you want in a woman. List your deal breakers and your life goals. That way you put your subconscious mind on notice so your subconscious can be screening as you go about life.

You never know where you'll run into the gal who fits your agenda & comes along for the ride. She could be anywhere. So you have to be open minded and paying attention. Your subconscious will do this in the background if you tell it what to look for.

This is why being your best self matters. We all need to bring our A game in relationship. And we need to encourage and require it in a partner as well.

Well. Cheating is about character. People who cheat are liars and are dishonest and breach a sacred trust. I take my vows seriously and did not cheat on my first husband, and will not cheat now.

If you are unhappy where you'd seriously consider cheating, its time to break up or its time to be brutally honest. You are not cheating if you negotiate non-monogamy in your relationship. But this is not for the faint of heart, and some women will leave the relationship under those circumstances. At the end of the day trust is paramount. Without trust you have nothing, and you risk seriously wounding another person emotionally. Not cool.

If you cannot be faithful and you cannot be honest, either of those things represent a serious character flaw, and you should not commit yourself in a marriage where the wife expects monogamy if you are incapable or unwilling to give it. This goes for women too. It cuts both ways.

There are women with great character out there. Character functions independent of looks; in fact it can be very rare to find an available great beauty with great character. They exist, but they know their value so you need to have yourself together. They get locked down quickly.

I dsagree about marriage. Be careful about the assumptions you make. I know many happy marrieds who have active sex lives and who have raised families and are enjoying being boyfriend/girlfriend all over again as empty nesters. Think of the old Italian grandparents who still are dancing at weddings and still in love after 60+ years. I know couples like this. They have a joy about them that is wonderful to be around.

Most importantly, consider what is important to YOU as a man. List the qualities you want in a woman. List your deal breakers and your life goals. That way you put your subconscious mind on notice so your subconscious can be screening as you go about life.

You never know where you'll run into the gal who fits your agenda & comes along for the ride. She could be anywhere. So you have to be open minded and paying attention. Your subconscious will do this in the background if you tell it what to look for.

This is why being your best self matters. We all need to bring our A game in relationship. And we need to encourage and require it in a partner as well.

I fvcking hate symp a55holes who kiss up to anything with a vag. You hit the nail on the head. But now that a55hole is me....oh gawdammit.

 

[jhonny9546]

Think of the old Italian grandparents

Okay, I'll shed some light on this since I'm Italian and I know my culture. What you see is a beta man, very beta, and the woman is in charge in the relationship. This is something that mature men here would not accept. They are the type of women who are very disrespectful to men, but men will always hold on to them, glossing over their behavior and laughing, when instead they should be respected.

They can also take my father, who has cheated on my mother and has done so in the past. They do not have a healthy relationship, and yet, at parties, you see them together dancing just like you say. Now, even here there are exceptions! There are some truly happy couples that you will see still dancing together at 90 years old. I think what unites them is a deep, one-sided love on both sides (oneitis?). In fact, if these couples ever break up, they will have to deal with depression. (The case of my grandmother and grandfather).

If you are unhappy where you'd seriously consider cheating

Let's say you have your whole life in order and have everything you need for your family (kids, marriage, etc.), but you meet a man who is really attractive to the point that he magnetically draws you in, and you start to have feelings for him.

What would a healthy woman do at this point? Would she talk to her husband about it?

What if this man had come along at a different time (when the relationship was going badly)?

The female perspective intrigues