I'm 40, I want kids

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I know I shouldn't trust her. I know she texted another dude behind my back. Don't care. I want kids.

My argument: i'm running out of time. Women these days are retarded with their qualifications.

Wish i would have had kids in my 20s

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

It's funny, i've become the guy i used to rail on.

Life goes on. We change, i suppose

I think offspring is worth it, though.

You get older, you might change your mind, too

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I didn't know i wanted kids until i was 35.

I'd highly recommend you figure out sooner. Life is better that way. You don't let yourself and your wife become *****s. Abused by society.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

If i could go back with what i know now...

- Every relationship is drawing to a conclusion. Always. It's up to you when it happens
- Never talk down on yourself (ever)
- Slap her booty (all the time)
- Never explain yourself

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

@zekko @Bible_Belt

What do y'all think about this?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP have you considered how crazier the world is today compared to the 20th century? You don't have kids in wartime (yes, we're in a war).

 

[zekko]

Wish i would have had kids in my 20s

I don't think I'm the best person to ask. Since I don't have any kids, I have literally no experience with this.
I've always thought that the best time to have kids was in your 20s though. You have peak energy (I understand having a child is exhausting), and life smacks you in the head before you are smart enough to realize what is happening.

I think a lot would depend on your financial situation. If you were a billionaire, I'd say go for it. But chances are, you have just enough to lose if something goes wrong. It's even more risky considering you don't think you have a solid mother you can trust. If you were to go into it (which I'm not recommending), I'd look at the worst case scenario and be sure you would be okay with that. Basically being a divorced guy in a small apartment with your wages garnished, not being able to see your kids as much as you would like.

I empathize with you though, these are tough times for a guy who wants to have a family. Which is a perfectly reasonable and honorable thing for a man to want. Unfortunately, the world is very evil.

 

[plumber]

I know I shouldn't trust her. I know she texted another dude behind my back. Don't care. I want kids.

My argument: i'm running out of time. Women these days are retarded with their qualifications.

Wish i would have had kids in my 20s

Find another woman. Slightly or moderately lower SMV to you. There are lots of ways to get SMV points for men. For woman not so many ways. Consider the passport bro thing. See the other threads.... In case you need/want the hotter looking babe. In the west, go smaller town to settle.

It sucks to be fighting with a wife or GF when kids are around. Broken homes suck for kids regardless if the parents split or they stay together. It sucks to realize later that the kid is not yours...

 

[BaronOfHair]

Wish i would have had kids in my 20s

No you don't: As a male in Post-Industrial modernity, you didn't have the cash or emotional maturity to be a father and husband in your second decade of life, and this is true for MOST young to youngish guys, ESPECIALLY if you're living in a major metropolitan area. Unions where there's a 20 or more year age gap between the man and the woman are going to become more and more the norm in rich nations, where rising up the socioeconmic ladder requires an exhaustive amount of training and time on the clock

Low social mobility is the ONLY thing that keeps men in agrarian and manufacturing economy siring kids when they themselves still have faces filled with acne. These fellas have nothing else to do

 

[BaronOfHair]

OP have you considered how crazier the world is today compared to the 20th century? You don't have kids in wartime (yes, we're in a war).

We've essentially been in a third World War since 9/11, which hasn't ended just because we're out of Afghanistan... We still have boots on the ground in Iraq, and covert operations in places like Yemen are hotter than ever. Only difference between today and every conflict since, aside from the fact that this one is probably going to last a century or longer:

The absence a draft = Most Americans, Britons, and Aussies(who've been at the forefront of the fighting)aren't directly affected by the drama. This is the ONLY tike in history where this has been the case

 

[Sophisticator]

I think offspring is worth it, though.

In what way do you think it's worth it? You mean legacy-wise?

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

In what way do you think it's worth it? You mean legacy-wise?

Not legacy, no.

I like kids and think it would give meaning to my life. I know you can find meaning anywhere and i'm no stranger to it. Nor am i afraid of being alone.

I used to have a laundrey list worth of reasons i didn't want kids. As i kept getting older, the list kept getting smaller. I've mostly avoided it at this point because women are crazy...and i'm no sugar plum.

But recently i was thinking why not just throw a fetus in a woman? Lol

I'm fully aware of all the consequences (you couldn't be here in the early 2000s without hearing that sh1t daily). But i don't really care anymore.

Obviously, the biggest fear is that i grow to love my kid(s) and then she uses the courts to take them from me. When i was in my 20s, i couldn't comprehend men that killed themselves after a divorce. I can see it now

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

No you don't: As a male in Post-Industrial modernity, you didn't have the cash or emotional maturity to be a father and husband in your second decade of life, and this is true for MOST young to youngish guys, ESPECIALLY if you're living in a major metropolitan area. Unions where there's a 20 or more year age gap between the man and the woman are going to become more and more the norm in rich nations, where rising up the socioeconmic ladder requires an exhaustive amount of training and time on the clock

Low social mobility is the ONLY thing that keeps men in agrarian and manufacturing economy siring kids when they themselves still have faces filled with acne. These fellas have nothing else to do

You're right.

But I could have buckled down and made things work. I was capable in my 20s, just not resolute.

I think you need to go through the struggle in your 20s, as a couple. It builds the foundation you need to have a lifelong relationship.

Fvcking around in your 20s only leads to a throwaway mentality.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

No you don't: As a male in Post-Industrial modernity, you didn't have the cash or emotional maturity to be a father and husband in your second decade of life, and this is true for MOST young to youngish guys, ESPECIALLY if you're living in a major metropolitan area. Unions where there's a 20 or more year age gap between the man and the woman are going to become more and more the norm in rich nations, where rising up the socioeconmic ladder requires an exhaustive amount of training and time on the clock

Low social mobility is the ONLY thing that keeps men in agrarian and manufacturing economy siring kids when they themselves still have faces filled with acne. These fellas have nothing else to do

My grandparents were fvcking poor in comparison to me, but they made it work. My grandfather farmed, pulp-wooded, drove a truck, whatever he could. But they always had food on the table.

I think that's what i'm getting at: children light a fire under your ass; they force you to be more productive.

I'm well versed in the hedonism argument, and i appreciate the way it's molded my personality, but it's a dead end.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

I was in my mid-late 30's and decided I wanted a family. This I developed (I hold a PhD) a system based upon the evolutionary design of the female brain and also took material from the seduction community. I also integrated the arguments of Pook and Anti-Dump from this forum.

I became extremely good at opening women and getting their phone numbers. I dated many, many women selecting the highest quality one to enter into my 3 woman dating rotation. I managed a 3 women dating rotation for several years until I finally settled on one woman who gave me a golden year of dating with zero red flags. She is 15 years younger than me and very beautiful. She cooks for me every day. I married that woman at age 44 and she gave me a phenomenal son who is an elite athlete (captain of his wrestling team/football star) and has gotten into 13 universities.

19 years later I am still very happily married. I wrote a book documenting my system and also have a YouTube channel. If you want to get married and have a family I can help you.

There is a link down below to my YouTube channel. Study my videos if you want to have a successful family. Note that I was 44 when I got married, 45 when I had my son.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I don't think I'm the best person to ask. Since I don't have any kids, I have literally no experience with this.
I've always thought that the best time to have kids was in your 20s though. You have peak energy (I understand having a child is exhausting), and life smacks you in the head before you are smart enough to realize what is happening.

I think a lot would depend on your financial situation. If you were a billionaire, I'd say go for it. But chances are, you have just enough to lose if something goes wrong. It's even more risky considering you don't think you have a solid mother you can trust. If you were to go into it (which I'm not recommending), I'd look at the worst case scenario and be sure you would be okay with that. Basically being a divorced guy in a small apartment with your wages garnished, not being able to see your kids as much as you would like.

I empathize with you though, these are tough times for a guy who wants to have a family. Which is a perfectly reasonable and honorable thing for a man to want. Unfortunately, the world is very evil.

Thanks for the thoughtful post, good sir

 

[Dr_jitsu]

My grandparents were fvcking poor in comparison to me, but they made it work. My grandfather farmed, pulp-wooded, drove a truck, whatever he could. But they always had food on the table.

I think that's what i'm getting at: children light a fire under your ass; they force you to be more productive.

I'm well versed in the hedonism argument, and i appreciate the way it's molded my personality, but it's a dead end.

I made a longer post above, but check out my system/program on YouTube if you want to have a happy and stable family.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Hey man, I remember your post about the miscarriages and the emotional cheating with her texting someone else. First things first, you need to decide if you still want to be with her and have children with her. If you do, then you'll likely need to start the relationship from zero-without grudges and resentments—because once you have a child, those unresolved issues will resurface in ways that can poison the family dynamic. Carrying past resentment into parenthood only makes co-parenting harder and creates an unstable environment for the child. A clean slate means better communication, mutual respect, and the ability to truly work as a team, which is essential when raising a child. Think of it like quitting drinking-if you want a fresh start, you have to cut out what's toxic and commit fully.

Alternatively, if she can't have children or if you'd rather find a new partner to start a family with, 40 isn't too old. Technology has advanced—IVF, IUl, and even medications to boost sperm count and motility-so it's still very possible to have a child in the next few years.

Lastly, if you do have a child and you're not wealthy, leaving the relationship later could get complicated. At your age, she'll likely push to keep the family unit intact. She'll involve both of your families, guilt-trip you about how much your child misses you, and use emotional manipulation before even considering taking you to court. It will get messy, and that's why starting from zero now-if you choose to stay—is the best way to protect yourself from that future chaos. As soon as you have a child with her she will be in the picture forever.

 

[Vanderdonck]

40 is young for a man. Go forth and multiply. Just find the right woman for YOU. They are out there.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

40 is young for a man. Go forth and multiply. Just find the right woman for YOU. They are out there.

This woman has a lot going for her. She'd be top notch on the dating market.

But you know how it is... You learn to dislike people over time. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Keeping a woman in line requires constant effort. You must be vigilant! And that sh1t gets old, eventually. More trouble than it's worth.

I expect that, but the one thing that's impossible to prepare for is your woman flipping on a dime. Women can be diabolical, in ways men can't fathom. Read Rollo Tomassi's "War Brides" if you need background.

Their ability to create narratives in their head is scary. And if your manhood ever slips, for whatever reason, you have to worry about the b1tch changing her mind

That's the worst part of the red pill