I'm 28 and successful, yet am somewhat jaded and depressed, what to do?

[The Duke]

1-2: I'm in the same boat. Got my life in order in every aspect. I have way more to offer than 95pct of the females out there. I grow more and more tired of games these women play. The good ones are hidden between the depths of worthless women.

All we can do is stay positive. Stay a man of value and go on about your life. If one comes into the picture then you will be ready.

 

[backbreaker]

Story time again lol

AS I have stated I do web development. This thread reminded me of something I run into alot. There are times for instance, I might put out like a few proposals, and I don't hear back from a client, but then out of the blue they come back weeks/months later ready to rock and roll right then and there and I am bombarded with more work than my established team can handle. At that point, I outsource the work to freelancers. Isn't often but it happens.

Anyway, I say this thread reminds me of this because you run into these programmers, who talk the best freaking game on earth like they are god's gift to computers. "who do you think you are trying to pay X amount to, dont' you know I went to college to learn how to do this, and I should be making $75 dollars an hour" blah blah blah blah. Guys never are busy because no one will hire them lol and they all assume it's because they are "too cheap".

A few weeks ago I took one of these programmers up. To jump off the bat,Becuase I had a full blown proposal out the guy jumped my ass lol, the client lol, becuase he "wanted to know why I couldn't' do the work and something doesn't smell right". I was like dude, if you don't want the job don't ****ing take it, but I dont' have to talk anyone into taking a 2300 dollar 2, 3 week tops project. I assure you I can find someone to do this. Anyway, the guy tells me "well, I don't consider working with people who dont' pay me "at least" half up front".. It wasn't the money./. it was his attitude that really just pissed me off.. but the talked like he knew his ****, so I said screw it. That and my oneitis recommended him to me, okay gave the guy his money. So, this professional goes to work.. first, I dont' hear from him for 3 days. Then when I ask him, what the **** is he doing, in nicer terms of course, he catches another attitude.. "obviously you don't know what goes into web programming".. i'm like dude, you are presenting a ****ing mockup it takes 3 hours it's been 3 days. Even if that is the case, you haven't said anything to anyone.

So then, he sends me.. mind you this is a pretty big project, a task management site, similar to http://www.officeagenda.com (which we built a well).. IN fact it's pretty much that site, without the flex video conferencing and the internal messassing system. So this ugly sends me, not only a template.. which I really don't have a problem with if it looks good, a ****ty template, didn't even bother to change the companies name to the actual companies name, literary just picked a template and put it on line and called it an update. Anyway, money and all I told him it just wasn't going to work, he obviously was well in over his head and the level of work we do is just more professional than what he is doing. so he 1. curses me out 2. calls me a bad client and 3. says, "puff, why is it so hard to find good clients"


lol, this is exactly what is going on here. The common denominator between all my problems and me is me. the guy site looks like my 10 year old sister doodled some **** on a night brite but kat told me he was "really good" and I took her word for it (like a dumbass, but the guy does work for a news station doing graphic work I figured he had to know something about something). You insult someone paying you 2 grand, giving you a grand without you doing an ounce of work and when you are fourante enough to get the job you do a craptastic job, then when you submit the crappy job you blame everyone but you. yes he charges, or tries to charge, 50 and hour, but he isn't worth it, I don't give a damn if you went to school or not. I know programmers in india that I could pay 10 an hour to that would run cirlces around the guy programming. The problem with people like him, and people who complain about life in general, and take no blame, is they would rather sit back and blame women for not being high quality, they would rather blame obama for.. taxing women too much so they can't go out and ****,t hey would rather blame everyone but them.. they, are the most successful people on earth, always. not that they aren't successful don't mistake what i'm saying but.. if a woman doesn't want to date you or you can't find a date, it's probably because in some way shape or form, you aren't datable.

just a thought.

There was a period in my life when I had just gotten off drugs, and was still going through PAWS, that I had all this physical ****, I had all these toys, I was not in the shape I am in now, but i was getting there, at that time I was about 185ish, small enough where I could wear regular clothes and look decent in them. But, because of the paws I suppose, I was just a whiney little ***** for like 3 months. I cried so much in that month, like a little *****, i was just overly emotional about every little thing. Every girl that saw me ran the other way, despite, how successful i was, and I was. I still was not datable. I ran off every bit of 5-6 women in that period of time.

 

[Falcon25]

Very good backbreaker. Especially the part "you probably aren't dateable". Most guys always blame women. Sometimes, if you are out of shape, broke, emotionally not there, etc. you just cannot and will not be desired by women. People have to understand that women pick up on it. When I was unemployed for a year I did get laid, but during the second or third hook up, she saw right through me, she could see my mind and worries were elsewhere. It is almost impossible to fool a woman if you have fake confidence. They all would gradually leave. You have to work yourself first. She could somehow see that I was worried about my bills, finding a job, etc. It was crazy, they could read my mind.

Just like women, there are periods in a man's life where he is undesired and undateable. Women are masters at picking up a the scent of a wounded man. If you are depressed, broke, fat, etc. I swear, they knew everything. I didn't even need to tell them I was unemployed, they picked it up by my actions and lack of confidence. I could fool them for a night maybe, but not for long.

 

[zekko]

if he were not my dad, i would pay to listen to what he has to say about women. But, the bad thing is, he can't stop. he needs that validation which is why he keeps cheating

This again seems to contradict basic pickup dogma. He's validation seeking (in the extreme it sounds like). Yet he pulls like a rock star. According to the gurus, that isn't supposed to happen. That's why I don't think there are any solid answers when it comes to seduction. Too many variables.

Seeking validation probably works for him because it's a powerful motivator. Sounds like he's basically addicted to it.

Nlow you are just nit picking for th sake of nit picking. I'm not saying I have women throwing their numbers at me left and right. But I can tell when a woman wants me to talk to her, and it happens alot, married or not

I'm not trying to nitpick what you're saying, I'm just interested in the subject so I jumped on that in order to discuss it. I'm curious about this whole concept of "women are more drawn to guys when they are taken".

I know there is something to the idea of preselection, but which is more appealing to a girl? A guy who is taken and thus shows he is preselected?
Or a guy who is actually available and therefore something might really happen? I think there's an advantage to being available just as much (or more) as there is to being taken.

Also, I still think the reason women are drawn to taken men is simply because they are desireable. The desireable guys get snatched up quickly (just like the attractive girls). You basically agree with this when you say:

Women aren't drawn to me because I am or am not taken. I'm just a catch and so is my dad

 

[backbreaker]

zekko,

here is the thing though...the women he gets.. are.. not women I would take seriouslyi. some are good looking, most are good looking actually. But women with their **** together, shoot him down. My mom the second she found out what he was doing told him to GTFO and was dead serious

So, yes he pulls, but.. in the end of the day what is he pulling? What is he really accomplishing? It's a waste of time and the women aren't the highest of quality. They see him, he makes some money, he drives a new car, dresses his ass off, he's good looking and talk smooth and they see things that they want in him. I mean hell, what kidna wife, lets your husband go to the ****ing club, a night club at the age of 50? a woman with low self esteem, I don't care how hto she is (and man i'd bend my step mom over a table lol)

I personally want balance. Relationships with the opposite sex is just one part of my life. I don't want it to be my entire life. And I would at most not have more than 2-3 plates that are very high quality than having 5-6 ****ty plates with 1 or 2 sprinkled in there.

 

[escaleraroyal]

u r an attention ***** and if she is hot and amazing why didn't u keep it..what the **** do you want. stop acting like a girl who doesn't know what she wants

 

[backbreaker]

You need to read Napoleon hill's code of ethics

Number 5 out of 10 states, "whatever time I may have to devote to the discovery and exposure of the weaknesses and faults of others I will devote, more profitably, to the discovery and correction of my own"

that's what you need to do right now.

 

[DonJuan11]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 years last month, it was probably for the best. She was hot and amazing in a lot of ways, but there were some things that were tough for me to get past.

In the end she technically broke it off, due to my lack of attention and affection given to her. She told me she wanted to get married all the time, and had been waiting for a ring. I never got one, she moved on, so here I am.

I highly doubt this was the reason she broke it off you. She left you because you were TOO BORING for her. If you gave her amazing hot sex and didn't take any bull from her, she wouldn't leave, she would beg you to stay. You become AFC are using "not giving her enough attention" excuse to make yourself feel better.

I find myself in a down and depressed state, I don't know why. I want to get out and meet more high quality girls, yet it doesn't seem like there's any out there that meet my standards.

You don't get what you THINK you DESERVE, YOU GET WHAT YOU NEGOTIATE. But there is nothing wrong with your ego

I don't care about banging as many women as I can, that's not my goal. Sex is nice, but it's not why I want to meet women. Here's the thing though, where do I meet high quality women?

I'm 28, I'm in arguably the best shape of my life, I'm a goal driven individual, I own my own house, I've paid off my car, I have my degree, I've got a high paying governmental career, I've got lots of skills and hobbies, and yet I can't find a chick that both meets my standards and is single.

Wow, 9 "I's" in one paragraph and not one thing about what you can offer a girl. You have to sell yourself buddy. Girls would trade all your six pack abs and own house for a guy who takes no crap from anyone and gives them awesome sex. It's not how great you think you are, it's what they are willing to buy.


Part of me is afraid that the older I get, the more set in my ways and jaded towards women I get, I really wonder if I'll ever find a woman who has a good head on her shoulders, who I'm challenged by, and who I'm attracted to.

Again, NOTHING wrong with your EGO.

Where do I go to meet these women? How do I meet them? All things considered I should be very happy with my life but right now I'm just in a down and somewhat depressed place.

I've read through the DJ Bible, Pook and Anti Dump's material, etc, etc. My skills on dates and follow up are good, in fact if I go on 2 or more dates with a chick, I'm usually batting about .950 in terms of the relationship going where I want it to. It's meeting them initially and having them be quality and not bat sh*t crazy that's the challenge.

Taking thoughts and uplifting material...

Surprising someone who works for the government thinks like this.