I'm 28 and never had a girlfriend, have no friends, and still live at home. Please help!

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey guys, I made this thread because I was hoping that some of you could help me by offering some advice. I'm 28 and never dated or had a girlfriend and I also don't have any friends and still live at home with my parents like the title says. Without making this post too long, the main reason why I've never dated is because I saw some friends getting harshly rejected when I was younger and I always thought that the same would also happen to me since I was associated with them and that I shouldn't even bother trying to ask anyone out because it was a guarantee that I would face the same pain and embarrassment that they did. I finally went on my first and only date when I was 21 because this girl asked me out and we hooked up that night. Then 5 years later when I was 26, I made it to 3rd base with a girl who I met through my 1 friend that i did have before he moved away and I've had nothing since then. I'm very discouraged about even trying to date now because I'm almost 30 and have so little experience, I feel like most girls are gonna be turned off if they find out and its going to result in a never ending cycle of going out on dates, only to be rejected once she finds out about my inexperience. I've also been addicted to p0rn since I was 12 and after I finally had sex for the first time, I discovered how much damage it has done to me as I have a very difficult time performing during sex since I'm too used to the type of stimulation experienced from watching p0rn, so I am in the process of quitting.

I still live at home with my parents because the cost of living is so high in my state, the monthly rent on a 450 sq ft studio apartment is $1,300 and that's the lowest price in my area. I do have a better job than my previous one, I currently work full time as a line cook in a ghost kitchen and make $20/hr, but I feel like I should still aim higher and have been considering trying to find a training program to enroll in so that I can land a higher paying job. I feel like still living at home is a big roadblock for me to start dating because I feel too embarrassed taking a girl back to my parents' house to have sex when I'm 28, maybe I should just make the jump and move into a small studio apartment like that. I also have no friends because my last friend moved away like I already said, and I used to be friends with my coworkers from one of my previous jobs but we've all lost touch with each other since then. More than anything, this has still been going on due to a lack of opportunities to socialize and make more friends. The same goes with my dating life too, I never even meet any girls due to a lack of opportunities and I've never used any dating apps because I feel like I can never take a good picture and that pretty much all I could post is selfies due to me not having any friends and I've heard that most girls like to see pics of a guy with his friends on his profile for social proof and that a guy having no friends is a red flag and a turn off.

What should I do and how do I change things? I feel like big changes need to be made in order to get the improvements to my life that I want.

The first step is to not think about women, or not make them your main goal. Your main goal is mindset growth. I believe you have a few mental hurdles you should cross.

The first hurdle is challenging yourself. Thankfully, you are aware you can do better. Including your current job and living situation. Always strive to put yourself in situations where you feel the most uncomfortable you've been. Eg. living on your own, learning new skills in your career.

I believe in the importance of setting yourself up for success. So start with a small and attainable goal, enough to challenge you but simple enough to start a snowball or domino effect. During this process be intentional about you allow to be and influence your life.

Lastly, women can be a distraction. A huge distraction. It can potentially hinder your personal growth and goals. So don't focus on them just now. Later yes, but not quite just yet. Not until you have some personal development momentum going.

Hope that makes sense and proud of you for reaching out.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If they ask about how many you been with just say “a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell” and then change the subject

Do women actually ask ‘how many women have you been with? I’ve never once been asked this.

 

[Barrister]

Do women actually ask ‘how many women have you been with? I’ve never once been asked this.

I have never been asked point blank for a #. I have had comments come my way like "I bet you do this a lot" or "I can tell you do this a lot." I actually think this is a good thing to hear though.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I have never been asked point blank for a #. I have had comments come my way like "I bet you do this a lot" or "I can tell you do this a lot." I actually think this is a good thing to hear though.

Closest I had was an ex-, who I ran into, a while after we broke up, asked ‘So, how many girls are you screwing now?’ Another girl I met told me; ‘You look like you fvck a lot’. And a few similar comments from others. I’ve never asked a girl about her sexual past.

 

[corrector]

Hey guys, I made this thread because I was hoping that some of you could help me by offering some advice. I'm 28 and never dated or had a girlfriend and I also don't have any friends and still live at home with my parents like the title says. Without making this post too long, the main reason why I've never dated is because I saw some friends getting harshly rejected when I was younger and I always thought that the same would also happen to me since I was associated with them and that I shouldn't even bother trying to ask anyone out because it was a guarantee that I would face the same pain and embarrassment that they did. I finally went on my first and only date when I was 21 because this girl asked me out and we hooked up that night. Then 5 years later when I was 26, I made it to 3rd base with a girl who I met through my 1 friend that i did have before he moved away and I've had nothing since then. I'm very discouraged about even trying to date now because I'm almost 30 and have so little experience, I feel like most girls are gonna be turned off if they find out and its going to result in a never ending cycle of going out on dates, only to be rejected once she finds out about my inexperience. I've also been addicted to p0rn since I was 12 and after I finally had sex for the first time, I discovered how much damage it has done to me as I have a very difficult time performing during sex since I'm too used to the type of stimulation experienced from watching p0rn, so I am in the process of quitting.

I still live at home with my parents because the cost of living is so high in my state, the monthly rent on a 450 sq ft studio apartment is $1,300 and that's the lowest price in my area. I do have a better job than my previous one, I currently work full time as a line cook in a ghost kitchen and make $20/hr, but I feel like I should still aim higher and have been considering trying to find a training program to enroll in so that I can land a higher paying job. I feel like still living at home is a big roadblock for me to start dating because I feel too embarrassed taking a girl back to my parents' house to have sex when I'm 28, maybe I should just make the jump and move into a small studio apartment like that. I also have no friends because my last friend moved away like I already said, and I used to be friends with my coworkers from one of my previous jobs but we've all lost touch with each other since then. More than anything, this has still been going on due to a lack of opportunities to socialize and make more friends. The same goes with my dating life too, I never even meet any girls due to a lack of opportunities and I've never used any dating apps because I feel like I can never take a good picture and that pretty much all I could post is selfies due to me not having any friends and I've heard that most girls like to see pics of a guy with his friends on his profile for social proof and that a guy having no friends is a red flag and a turn off.

What should I do and how do I change things? I feel like big changes need to be made in order to get the improvements to my life that I want.

There is nothing unusual about your situation in 2022.

 

[Suave88]

Hey guys, I made this thread because I was hoping that some of you could help me by offering some advice. I'm 28 and never dated or had a girlfriend and I also don't have any friends and still live at home with my parents like the title says. Without making this post too long, the main reason why I've never dated is because I saw some friends getting harshly rejected when I was younger and I always thought that the same would also happen to me since I was associated with them and that I shouldn't even bother trying to ask anyone out because it was a guarantee that I would face the same pain and embarrassment that they did. I finally went on my first and only date when I was 21 because this girl asked me out and we hooked up that night. Then 5 years later when I was 26, I made it to 3rd base with a girl who I met through my 1 friend that i did have before he moved away and I've had nothing since then. I'm very discouraged about even trying to date now because I'm almost 30 and have so little experience, I feel like most girls are gonna be turned off if they find out and its going to result in a never ending cycle of going out on dates, only to be rejected once she finds out about my inexperience. I've also been addicted to p0rn since I was 12 and after I finally had sex for the first time, I discovered how much damage it has done to me as I have a very difficult time performing during sex since I'm too used to the type of stimulation experienced from watching p0rn, so I am in the process of quitting.

I still live at home with my parents because the cost of living is so high in my state, the monthly rent on a 450 sq ft studio apartment is $1,300 and that's the lowest price in my area. I do have a better job than my previous one, I currently work full time as a line cook in a ghost kitchen and make $20/hr, but I feel like I should still aim higher and have been considering trying to find a training program to enroll in so that I can land a higher paying job. I feel like still living at home is a big roadblock for me to start dating because I feel too embarrassed taking a girl back to my parents' house to have sex when I'm 28, maybe I should just make the jump and move into a small studio apartment like that. I also have no friends because my last friend moved away like I already said, and I used to be friends with my coworkers from one of my previous jobs but we've all lost touch with each other since then. More than anything, this has still been going on due to a lack of opportunities to socialize and make more friends. The same goes with my dating life too, I never even meet any girls due to a lack of opportunities and I've never used any dating apps because I feel like I can never take a good picture and that pretty much all I could post is selfies due to me not having any friends and I've heard that most girls like to see pics of a guy with his friends on his profile for social proof and that a guy having no friends is a red flag and a turn off.

What should I do and how do I change things? I feel like big changes need to be made in order to get the improvements to my life that I want.

Do you have a clean driving record or and are you a health person?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Do women actually ask ‘how many women have you been with? I’ve never once been asked this.

Not unless I bring it up indirectly. I was just providing op with a line to use if it’s happening

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Not unless I bring it up indirectly. I was just providing op with a line to use if it’s happening

Oddly, I’ve had women volunteer their experience. Even (I believe) exagerating it.

 

[Zimbabwe]

The great thing about the bottom is you can only go up from there, don't give up OP.

 

[bat soup]

Do women actually ask ‘how many women have you been with? I’ve never once been asked this.

They will know it if they enter your penis registration number on the PVLA website.

 

[bat soup]

The great thing about the bottom is you can only go up from there.

That´s what she said.

 

[SW15]

You could even pull the dry spell card if you are feeling awkward around a chick where things might get physical. “My last relationship was six months (or a year) ago.”

That’s forgivable and understandable, especially with COVID.

COVID is a good built in excuse for a free pass from judgment on a dry spell.

In white collar job interviewing, employers were giving candidates free passes on having employment gaps/layoffs on their resumes during the Great Recession period and in 2020 for COVID.

 

[needimprovement250]

I wanted to bump this thread to give an update. I have still been struggling with my p0rn addiction and just hit a breaking point with it last night since I spent $116 on a private cam show over on Chaturbate. I’m buying a time release padlock off of Amazon so that I will only have access to anything that can access p0rn when my parents are around and I can’t look at it. I’m probably also to be joining a p0rn addicts support group that holds meetings via Zoom call. I still have no friends, but I joined a community garden group as a way to network with more people, I still live at home with my parents and I’m trying to find another job as things have gone downhill fast at my current job (see my thread in the wealth & success tab, just updated that one too)

I am still worried that I’m gonna face a never ending cycle of rejection because of my inexperience with dating and sex being a turn off to a lot of girls, but I was relieved to hear that some here have said that they have never been asked about that by any girl they’ve gone out with. I’m also going to be hiring a coach named Frank Kermit who specializes in helping inexperienced adult aged men who have p0rn addictions break free of their current situation and find success in the dating world. That’s all for now!

 

[jimwho]

Go to the local pub and shoot pool or darts. Volunteer at just about anything. Get a cute rescue and hit dog parks.
Find a passion that's fun, hike/run/boxing/gym. Say hello to people. Play sports. Get out of the dungeon.
Your still a kid, you can do it, start tomorrow .

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I wanted to bump this thread to give an update. I have still been struggling with my p0rn addiction and just hit a breaking point with it last night since I spent $116 on a private cam show over on Chaturbate. I’m buying a time release padlock off of Amazon so that I will only have access to anything that can access p0rn when my parents are around and I can’t look at it. I’m probably also to be joining a p0rn addicts support group that holds meetings via Zoom call. I still have no friends, but I joined a community garden group as a way to network with more people, I still live at home with my parents and I’m trying to find another job as things have gone downhill fast at my current job (see my thread in the wealth & success tab, just updated that one too)

I am still worried that I’m gonna face a never ending cycle of rejection because of my inexperience with dating and sex being a turn off to a lot of girls, but I was relieved to hear that some here have said that they have never been asked about that by any girl they’ve gone out with. I’m also going to be hiring a coach named Frank Kermit who specializes in helping inexperienced adult aged men who have p0rn addictions break free of their current situation and find success in the dating world. That’s all for now!

Great Guerilla Marketing, Frank!

 

[needimprovement250]

Great Guerilla Marketing, Frank!

I’m not Frank, I really am someone who’s going through the struggles I mentioned and he is someone I came across and have considered working with.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I’ve been a loner all my life. Lost my virginity at 28. Up u til this year I been getting multiple partners with much sex regularly (this year I dunno what’s up with things). Anyhow the point I’m trying to make is if you work on your sticking points and do what works for you (NOT what people say should work. It’s not always the same) then you can achieve success. Best of luck

 

[Mike32ct]

Late bloomer guys are much more common today. It’s not rare anymore.

2002: “He’s still a virgin at 28? No way. How is that possible?”

2022: “He’s a virgin at 28. No big deal, so are half the men in my family. So what’s for lunch?”

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey guys, I made this thread because I was hoping that some of you could help me by offering some advice. I'm 28 and never dated or had a girlfriend and I also don't have any friends and still live at home with my parents like the title says. Without making this post too long, the main reason why I've never dated is because I saw some friends getting harshly rejected when I was younger and I always thought that the same would also happen to me since I was associated with them and that I shouldn't even bother trying to ask anyone out because it was a guarantee that I would face the same pain and embarrassment that they did. I finally went on my first and only date when I was 21 because this girl asked me out and we hooked up that night. Then 5 years later when I was 26, I made it to 3rd base with a girl who I met through my 1 friend that i did have before he moved away and I've had nothing since then. I'm very discouraged about even trying to date now because I'm almost 30 and have so little experience, I feel like most girls are gonna be turned off if they find out and its going to result in a never ending cycle of going out on dates, only to be rejected once she finds out about my inexperience. I've also been addicted to p0rn since I was 12 and after I finally had sex for the first time, I discovered how much damage it has done to me as I have a very difficult time performing during sex since I'm too used to the type of stimulation experienced from watching p0rn, so I am in the process of quitting.

I still live at home with my parents because the cost of living is so high in my state, the monthly rent on a 450 sq ft studio apartment is $1,300 and that's the lowest price in my area. I do have a better job than my previous one, I currently work full time as a line cook in a ghost kitchen and make $20/hr, but I feel like I should still aim higher and have been considering trying to find a training program to enroll in so that I can land a higher paying job. I feel like still living at home is a big roadblock for me to start dating because I feel too embarrassed taking a girl back to my parents' house to have sex when I'm 28, maybe I should just make the jump and move into a small studio apartment like that. I also have no friends because my last friend moved away like I already said, and I used to be friends with my coworkers from one of my previous jobs but we've all lost touch with each other since then. More than anything, this has still been going on due to a lack of opportunities to socialize and make more friends. The same goes with my dating life too, I never even meet any girls due to a lack of opportunities and I've never used any dating apps because I feel like I can never take a good picture and that pretty much all I could post is selfies due to me not having any friends and I've heard that most girls like to see pics of a guy with his friends on his profile for social proof and that a guy having no friends is a red flag and a turn off.

What should I do and how do I change things? I feel like big changes need to be made in order to get the improvements to my life that I want.

Most of the advice given here so far is sound.

I would only add that you potentially have a mindset problem, not a tangible one. Watch your thought-life carefully.

As I have suggested before to other members here in a similar situation set ONE small attainable goal and get it done. Then let it snowball into the next, and the next, and the next goal. Think of it as a ladder, you don't climb up by skipping the first steps. You must use each step as a stepping stone. Just make sure you set yourself up for success, so one attainable goal at a time.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Striker_93]

Stop Porn/masturbating

Approach/engage with women for confidence and experience

Get better job/2 jobs for better income/work extra hours


Fake it till you make it.

Trust me OP, it's not hard to look like you know what you're doing during sex lol.

As much porn as you've watched you should have a pretty decent idea on how to fvck.