ignores my text now? wtf?

[Harry Wilmington]

I know the text sucks. I don't know why I contacted her after she ignored my previous text, I don't know why I asked her out for TODAY, what a mess.

Well then, allow me to explain it to ya!

But first: understand that all the guys giving you advice here have been in your shoes before. You like a girl, you think you're showing her a good time on these dates, they're hitting you up constantly... and then, out of nowhere, she changes up. And you're left wondering "WHAT THE F--K HAPPENED??"

And so, rather than seeing the situation and going, "eh, oh well, on to the next person..." Your ego gets involved. And your ego tells you that you're such a GREAT person, that she MUST want you. And that the things you're seeing her do can't possibly mean she's uninterested.

In fact, what your brain/ego ends up doing next is similar to the 6 stages of grief. No, really, think about it - what are the six stages?

1. SHOCK

Your ego can't understand how she would go from "all signals go" to "possibly a no" so quickly. Your brain doesn't want to believe it's happening. This leads to stage number 2...

2. DENIAL

Your ego tells you that what you're seeing isn't true. "Oh, she didn't call you back after your third message? She's just busy! It's not that she doesn't like you, of course she does! You guys had such a great time on your dates - something must have come up, that's all!"

3. ANGER

After 3 or 4 more tries (or many, many more tries for some guys), you start to lash out (which is what you're doing now on these boards). "I can't believe she'd do this," your ego tells you, "she's such a tease and a slvt! How DARE she go out with me and then not answer my calls! The least she could have done is told me what I did, but NOOOOOOOO!"

4. BARGAINING

After the anger phase, your ego says, "Hmm, maybe I'll try to hit her up ooooooone or twoooooo more times to see if she'll go out." To do this, the ego tries to think of ways to phrase things that will make her respond with a "yes" answer. Thus, your attempt at trying to ask her if she was busy BEFORE asking her to do an activity. The way you go about it is an attempt to bargain with her - "Okay, if she says she's not busy today, it means I can try and get her on a date, and I'll use the pool idea as a way to do that."

5. GRIEVING

I know, it sounds dumb that we'd "grieve" over a girl we've only been out with a few times. But still... the ego wants what it wants, and when it can't have it, it can cause you to feel depressed because you know, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you have to let her go. And it can be tough because the brain is very powerful - it can set up imagined scenarios that feel real but aren't, and in the case of dating women your brain can map out an entire future with a girl that hasn't happened yet but still feels like it could be a reality. The ego hates the idea of having to let that "real "future go, and so facing that reality can have you going through mood swings, or switching between really hating all women and wanting to have one... quite frustrating. Luckily, with time you get to stage number 6...

6. ACCEPTANCE

This is when your ego finally says, "Well, I tried, it didn't work, she didn't want me so it is what it is... on to the next girl!"

Depending on your dating experience, as well as your level of self-esteem, these stages can be moved through at different paces. I'm at the point in my dating life where the time it takes me to get from the "SHOCK" stage to the "ACCEPTANCE" stage is less than a week. The secret is training yourself to recognize a situation for what it is and not taking it so personally. You'll still go through each stage, but you won't make stupid moves like hitting a girl up when she hasn't responded to you in 3 days, or asking out a girl that's clearly no longer interested in you. Hope this helps!

 

[MAYALL]

Well then, allow me to explain it to ya!

But first: understand that all the guys giving you advice here have been in your shoes before. You like a girl, you think you're showing her a good time on these dates, they're hitting you up constantly... and then, out of nowhere, she changes up. And you're left wondering "WHAT THE F--K HAPPENED??"

And so, rather than seeing the situation and going, "eh, oh well, on to the next person..." Your ego gets involved. And your ego tells you that you're such a GREAT person, that she MUST want you. And that the things you're seeing her do can't possibly mean she's uninterested.

In fact, what your brain/ego ends up doing next is similar to the 6 stages of grief. No, really, think about it - what are the six stages?

1. SHOCK

Your ego can't understand how she would go from "all signals go" to "possibly a no" so quickly. Your brain doesn't want to believe it's happening. This leads to stage number 2...

2. DENIAL

Your ego tells you that what you're seeing isn't true. "Oh, she didn't call you back after your third message? She's just busy! It's not that she doesn't like you, of course she does! You guys had such a great time on your dates - something must have come up, that's all!"

3. ANGER

After 3 or 4 more tries (or many, many more tries for some guys), you start to lash out (which is what you're doing now on these boards). "I can't believe she'd do this," your ego tells you, "she's such a tease and a slvt! How DARE she go out with me and then not answer my calls! The least she could have done is told me what I did, but NOOOOOOOO!"

4. BARGAINING

After the anger phase, your ego says, "Hmm, maybe I'll try to hit her up ooooooone or twoooooo more times to see if she'll go out." To do this, the ego tries to think of ways to phrase things that will make her respond with a "yes" answer. Thus, your attempt at trying to ask her if she was busy BEFORE asking her to do an activity. The way you go about it is an attempt to bargain with her - "Okay, if she says she's not busy today, it means I can try and get her on a date, and I'll use the pool idea as a way to do that."

5. GRIEVING

I know, it sounds dumb that we'd "grieve" over a girl we've only been out with a few times. But still... the ego wants what it wants, and when it can't have it, it can cause you to feel depressed because you know, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you have to let her go. And it can be tough because the brain is very powerful - it can set up imagined scenarios that feel real but aren't, and in the case of dating women your brain can map out an entire future with a girl that hasn't happened yet but still feels like it could be a reality. The ego hates the idea of having to let that "real "future go, and so facing that reality can have you going through mood swings, or switching between really hating all women and wanting to have one... quite frustrating. Luckily, with time you get to stage number 6...

6. ACCEPTANCE

This is when your ego finally says, "Well, I tried, it didn't work, she didn't want me so it is what it is... on to the next girl!"

Depending on your dating experience, as well as your level of self-esteem, these stages can be moved through at different paces. I'm at the point in my dating life where the time it takes me to get from the "SHOCK" stage to the "ACCEPTANCE" stage is less than a week. The secret is training yourself to recognize a situation for what it is and not taking it so personally. You'll still go through each stage, but you won't make stupid moves like hitting a girl up when she hasn't responded to you in 3 days, or asking out a girl that's clearly no longer interested in you. Hope this helps!

I like this post, a great breakdown that hits all the main points. After a guy goes through all 6 stages, it's possible to go back through them again if the girl makes contact. If you've accepted she doesn't want you anymore. and if you her from her again, it can spiral into the same process again if it repeats itself.

 

[GS750]

If the girl is between 19-22 and a ho/slvt/cluster b, i'll just bombard her calling her a b1tch or a slvt. Sometimes I'll threaten them and that'll get them replying. Actually got a girl to hang out with me after threatening her...A/W ****tail waitress, the more damaged the girl, more likely this could work.

Actually...I believe that this would work with a damaged/AW/Cluster B type. Any attention, even negative attention, feeds these wacko types. They could easily block a guy for continuing to text them, even if the texts are outright hostile or rude. But they don't because the attention is like a drug to these types of girls. I personally wouldn't do it, but I see no problem with it. Girls like that will just use their twisted logic and use the texts to make another guy jealous or to make themselves look desirable, or tell their friends about it.

 

[Poon King]

OP do not worry about what she does. If she texts she does if not then fine. IL is what counts and if she has it she will text back.


You are the blithering idiot because I am talking about men in general. Alpha men take the initiative to do what they want not worryng about what the woman thinks. If a man wants to text he texts. He does not fear what she will think like you do. All your posts come from the beta mind set fearing what women will think. You are giving women power they should not have.

You buy self entitled women free drinks with your beta bucks at bars. You buy them drinks and you do it for validation. In your mind that is not beta bucking but for other men it is. :crackup:

If that's what you think about the stuff I post then you have a serious reading comprehension problem.

My guess is your judgement is clouded by emotions since you clearly have low testosterone and too much estrogen flowing through you. :crackup:

 

[usernamedox11]

Actually...I believe that this would work with a damaged/AW/Cluster B type. Any attention, even negative attention, feeds these wacko types. They could easily block a guy for continuing to text them, even if the texts are outright hostile or rude. But they don't because the attention is like a drug to these types of girls. I personally wouldn't do it, but I see no problem with it. Girls like that will just use their twisted logic and use the texts to make another guy jealous or to make themselves look desirable, or tell their friends about it.

Oh believe me, it does work on some of them.

Last girl I did this to bombarded her with texts for 3 days straight. She ignored me for 3 days. Finally she replies (this is all from memory) "i'm tired of your incessant texting...you are harassing me!"


Then I replied "fine, fvck u im not texting your ugly ass anymore"

then she replies "i really think u need to move on and stop texting me because i dont think I can be nice to you anymore"

then i reply "yeah cause you're a low class b1tch...bye wh0re"

20-30 minutes later she replies "I BET YOU'RE STALKING MY INSTAGRAM RIGHT NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE, GET A LIFE"

Then I reply "listen why don't we just hang out...u know you love me"

She agreed to hang out after a few more days of that BS, but I flaked on her as the girl was just too crazy

 

[GS750]

Oh believe me, it does work on some of them.

Last girl I did this to bombarded her with texts for 3 days straight. She ignored me for 3 days. Finally she replies (this is all from memory) "i'm tired of your incessant texting...you are harassing me!"


Then I replied "fine, fvck u im not texting your ugly ass anymore"

then she replies "i really think u need to move on and stop texting me because i dont think I can be nice to you anymore"

then i reply "yeah cause you're a low class b1tch...bye wh0re"

20-30 minutes later she replies "I BET YOU'RE STALKING MY INSTAGRAM RIGHT NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE, GET A LIFE"

Then I reply "listen why don't we just hang out...u know you love me"

She agreed to hang out after a few more days of that BS, but I flaked on her as the girl was just too crazy

Bro, you're crazy. But in a good way, no disrespect. Not too many guys would have the nerve to do this. But if it works for you, hey, I'm all for it.

 

[G_Govan]

Well then, allow me to explain it to ya!

But first: understand that all the guys giving you advice here have been in your shoes before. You like a girl, you think you're showing her a good time on these dates, they're hitting you up constantly... and then, out of nowhere, she changes up. And you're left wondering "WHAT THE F--K HAPPENED??"

And so, rather than seeing the situation and going, "eh, oh well, on to the next person..." Your ego gets involved. And your ego tells you that you're such a GREAT person, that she MUST want you. And that the things you're seeing her do can't possibly mean she's uninterested.

In fact, what your brain/ego ends up doing next is similar to the 6 stages of grief. No, really, think about it - what are the six stages?

1. SHOCK

Your ego can't understand how she would go from "all signals go" to "possibly a no" so quickly. Your brain doesn't want to believe it's happening. This leads to stage number 2...

2. DENIAL

Your ego tells you that what you're seeing isn't true. "Oh, she didn't call you back after your third message? She's just busy! It's not that she doesn't like you, of course she does! You guys had such a great time on your dates - something must have come up, that's all!"

3. ANGER

After 3 or 4 more tries (or many, many more tries for some guys), you start to lash out (which is what you're doing now on these boards). "I can't believe she'd do this," your ego tells you, "she's such a tease and a slvt! How DARE she go out with me and then not answer my calls! The least she could have done is told me what I did, but NOOOOOOOO!"

4. BARGAINING

After the anger phase, your ego says, "Hmm, maybe I'll try to hit her up ooooooone or twoooooo more times to see if she'll go out." To do this, the ego tries to think of ways to phrase things that will make her respond with a "yes" answer. Thus, your attempt at trying to ask her if she was busy BEFORE asking her to do an activity. The way you go about it is an attempt to bargain with her - "Okay, if she says she's not busy today, it means I can try and get her on a date, and I'll use the pool idea as a way to do that."

5. GRIEVING

I know, it sounds dumb that we'd "grieve" over a girl we've only been out with a few times. But still... the ego wants what it wants, and when it can't have it, it can cause you to feel depressed because you know, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you have to let her go. And it can be tough because the brain is very powerful - it can set up imagined scenarios that feel real but aren't, and in the case of dating women your brain can map out an entire future with a girl that hasn't happened yet but still feels like it could be a reality. The ego hates the idea of having to let that "real "future go, and so facing that reality can have you going through mood swings, or switching between really hating all women and wanting to have one... quite frustrating. Luckily, with time you get to stage number 6...

6. ACCEPTANCE

This is when your ego finally says, "Well, I tried, it didn't work, she didn't want me so it is what it is... on to the next girl!"

Depending on your dating experience, as well as your level of self-esteem, these stages can be moved through at different paces. I'm at the point in my dating life where the time it takes me to get from the "SHOCK" stage to the "ACCEPTANCE" stage is less than a week. The secret is training yourself to recognize a situation for what it is and not taking it so personally. You'll still go through each stage, but you won't make stupid moves like hitting a girl up when she hasn't responded to you in 3 days, or asking out a girl that's clearly no longer interested in you. Hope this helps!

It's rare I come across anyone who understands things at this level. Impressive.

 

[mikey2012]

Look, it doesnt matter what he said to her. A girl who is into you, wouldn't care if you just said hi or sent a pic of your ****. She would be ALL over you.

This girl interest level is low and yours is high. Move on and next her.

 

[usernamedox11]

Look, it doesnt matter what he said to her. A girl who is into you, wouldn't care if you just said hi or sent a pic of your ****. She would be ALL over you.

This girl interest level is low and yours is high. Move on and next her.

This is true to a certain extent. If a girl's interest level is lukewarm, you can gradually raise it if your game is tight and you want to spend the time & effort on her...but your game has to be on point

 

[DragonBlood]

Then I replied "fine, fvck u im not texting your ugly ass anymore"

then she replies "i really think u need to move on and stop texting me because i dont think I can be nice to you anymore"

then i reply "yeah cause you're a low class b1tch...bye wh0re"

20-30 minutes later she replies "I BET YOU'RE STALKING MY INSTAGRAM RIGHT NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE, GET A LIFE"

Then I reply "listen why don't we just hang out...u know you love me"

Nice validation chase. I did the exact same thing with a girl two years ago. Bit on the *****y side and couldnt get her out for a second date. Spiraled into a huge argument because she cared, but was just shy of getting her out. I dont do this anymore but I will have to try "listen why don't we just hang out...u know you love me" the next time a girl gives me ****.