If a chick doesn't want a guy to have her number all she has to Ever do is put up her beeitch shield, you know the same one you get every time you want a few moments of miss THINGS time. A chick gives up her number for one reason and one reason only: she is Interested. Yeah sometimes they regret giving it to a stranger they just met after her third Martini. But this was a guy at work. She had all the time in the world to decide if she wanted to give it up. Plus, he already has multiple ways of contacting her at work. Why would he need another? Because he can't text her 6 times a day at work, that's why. Texts she wouldn't mind at all getting because, well they are "harmless".
Ignorance or what?
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Everybody makes mistakes. Only the OP knows well enough if this was pre-meditated or just a reflex.KontrollerX said:
Why would this chick tell him about giving out her number to the guy at work? That part makes no sense to me.
Alle_Gory said:
It happens all the time. All of the Time. It has nothing to do with honesty. It's about creating Jealousy and drama. If it was about honesty then she would have to tell him Every time she got hit on right?
I suggest that you take women off of the pedestal and see things as they are. Otherwise you are in for a world of hurt when you discover the truth about male female relationship dynamics. What possible reason is there for telling your BF/GF that someone is interested in you unless it is to create "testing" drama in your own relationship? A mature partner keeps these things to his or her self (and ignores and / or discourages advances) so as to keep her relationship moving forward, drama free.
Why assume the negative?
It's obvious the girl likes the OP more than the guy at work because if there was somebody at work who she really liked better than the OP she wouldn't be talking about him to her boyfriend!!!. It would be a big secret.
It's obvious the girl likes the OP more than the guy at work because if there was somebody at work who she really liked better than the OP she wouldn't be talking about him to her boyfriend!!!. It would be a big secret.
LovelyLady
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I keep going back and forth as whether or not to say anything. I read Kontrollerx's responses and he sounds so convincing. Afterall, he says he has had innumerable women cheat on him and his friends gf's cheat too.
But you know what? I am a woman and I have never cheated - and I have had no girlfriends who have ever cheated, so I come from that place. Perhaps there is a middle ground to be found then, with everyone's sharing here...
When I was much younger, one way I would "handle" guys who wouldn't back off with what I felt like were clear rejections was to give them my number (particularly if I had to come in regular contact with them - whether in class, as a co-worker, regular customer, etc).
See, she has set the boundary of "friends" with him and can now proceed to "handle" him by friend-zoning him. She can be friendly but not even develop an actual friendship with him (much less romantic relationship). And hopefully navigate things to where she won't have to worry about him sabatoging her reputation/success in the workplace.
See, HE may view it as an accomplishment to have gotten her phone #, but SHE may feel it is actually an effective buffer - AND a SAFER place to more overtly/harshly reject him than face to face. Or alternatively to not answer his calls, or to talk NON-STOP about her bf to get the guy so annoyed he stops calling/pursuing her. She can then just become the annoying girl to him rather than the one he is interested in - which is preferable than having to have a terrible confrontation with a man - or being thought of/talked about as being a hateful b****.
Does this make sense to men? lol probably not - but it makes sense to me - these are some of the passive tactics in a woman's arsenal to deal with guys who just don't honor your "no".
What she may have not learned yet is telling a man the reason you will not date him is because you have a bf doesn't work. Most men need to know flat out that you are not interested in them - whether you have a bf or not. That is a difficult thing to say because you realize that the person pursuing you has feelings and rejection hurts them.
If she hates conflict, doesn't want to hurt his feelings, is feeling at risk of her reputation in the workplace, she may have offered up her number to change the landscape onto her "turf" where she feels she has some control and safety to work from. She could have, as she said, just been flustered - given her number - knowing she would deal with this dynamic with him later.
As she gains experience, she will get to where if a man does not take the more subtle/gentle "no's", she will say some version of "I wish you the best, truly, but please stop asking me out/pursuing me." And those words can be harsh, but sometimes necessary. She just hasn't learned how to do that yet and is most likely trying to choose the path of least resistance because she is wired to retreat (shy, etc.) rather than be directly oppositional.
In the OP's described situation - the phone can actually distance this guy - not bring him closer.
This is all a possibility... and if this is the place she is functioning from, she will not have realized right away that the OP flipped out in an insecure way, but eventually she WILL realize it...
And alternatively, IF she is really interested in hooking up with this guy - I just don't see why she would be telling him all of this maneauvering she is doing to try to manage things.
She just sounds like she is young and trying to handle this without hurting anyone's feelings.
As she matures, she will recognize that these kind of guys are actually disrespecting her by continuing to pursue when she has already turned them down, and will not feel so bad about telling them to stop hitting her. It will save her a lot of stress, rather than trying to be "friendly" friendzoning them.
But it would seem she is still learning how to navigate these situations, as is the OP. A step back with a little compassion and patience could be effective here.
Additionally, telling anyone who they can and cannot be friends with is controlling. However, that the guy expressed romantic interest and is new - not someone who presented genuine friendship as the motive - would negate him as new friend material, IMO - as it should for the OP with new female friends he may make. (Of course I am old-fashioned in believing that honorable actions and commitment should apply to both people in a relationship).
If you believe someone has cheated on you, taking her back just to use her for sex sounds so desperate to me and like something a total loser would do. That someone would be so desperate to get laid that they are willing to sex someone they know has been unfaithful is... repulsive.
my 2 cents
But you know what? I am a woman and I have never cheated - and I have had no girlfriends who have ever cheated, so I come from that place. Perhaps there is a middle ground to be found then, with everyone's sharing here...
This is all correct.OneEyedJack said:
When I was much younger, one way I would "handle" guys who wouldn't back off with what I felt like were clear rejections was to give them my number (particularly if I had to come in regular contact with them - whether in class, as a co-worker, regular customer, etc).
See, she has set the boundary of "friends" with him and can now proceed to "handle" him by friend-zoning him. She can be friendly but not even develop an actual friendship with him (much less romantic relationship). And hopefully navigate things to where she won't have to worry about him sabatoging her reputation/success in the workplace.
See, HE may view it as an accomplishment to have gotten her phone #, but SHE may feel it is actually an effective buffer - AND a SAFER place to more overtly/harshly reject him than face to face. Or alternatively to not answer his calls, or to talk NON-STOP about her bf to get the guy so annoyed he stops calling/pursuing her. She can then just become the annoying girl to him rather than the one he is interested in - which is preferable than having to have a terrible confrontation with a man - or being thought of/talked about as being a hateful b****.
Does this make sense to men? lol probably not - but it makes sense to me - these are some of the passive tactics in a woman's arsenal to deal with guys who just don't honor your "no".
What she may have not learned yet is telling a man the reason you will not date him is because you have a bf doesn't work. Most men need to know flat out that you are not interested in them - whether you have a bf or not. That is a difficult thing to say because you realize that the person pursuing you has feelings and rejection hurts them.
If she hates conflict, doesn't want to hurt his feelings, is feeling at risk of her reputation in the workplace, she may have offered up her number to change the landscape onto her "turf" where she feels she has some control and safety to work from. She could have, as she said, just been flustered - given her number - knowing she would deal with this dynamic with him later.
As she gains experience, she will get to where if a man does not take the more subtle/gentle "no's", she will say some version of "I wish you the best, truly, but please stop asking me out/pursuing me." And those words can be harsh, but sometimes necessary. She just hasn't learned how to do that yet and is most likely trying to choose the path of least resistance because she is wired to retreat (shy, etc.) rather than be directly oppositional.
In the OP's described situation - the phone can actually distance this guy - not bring him closer.
This is all a possibility... and if this is the place she is functioning from, she will not have realized right away that the OP flipped out in an insecure way, but eventually she WILL realize it...
And alternatively, IF she is really interested in hooking up with this guy - I just don't see why she would be telling him all of this maneauvering she is doing to try to manage things.
She just sounds like she is young and trying to handle this without hurting anyone's feelings.
As she matures, she will recognize that these kind of guys are actually disrespecting her by continuing to pursue when she has already turned them down, and will not feel so bad about telling them to stop hitting her. It will save her a lot of stress, rather than trying to be "friendly" friendzoning them.
But it would seem she is still learning how to navigate these situations, as is the OP. A step back with a little compassion and patience could be effective here.
Additionally, telling anyone who they can and cannot be friends with is controlling. However, that the guy expressed romantic interest and is new - not someone who presented genuine friendship as the motive - would negate him as new friend material, IMO - as it should for the OP with new female friends he may make. (Of course I am old-fashioned in believing that honorable actions and commitment should apply to both people in a relationship).
If you believe someone has cheated on you, taking her back just to use her for sex sounds so desperate to me and like something a total loser would do. That someone would be so desperate to get laid that they are willing to sex someone they know has been unfaithful is... repulsive.
my 2 cents
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tryst type
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she was never presented with any other reason to turn him down, this was his first attempt to getting her number.
i know it can sound like an insecurity issue but there have been two other incidents throughout this relationship where she doesn't consider me/us in the outcome of her decisions and the last time this happened i had one request was that she start considering that before making "hasty" decisions again and jeopardizing the relationship. she was well aware of her previous mistakes and how i felt about it, yet she acted as if the discussion never existed.
and how else could this not be interpreted as "insecurity" should i have said "oh wow you handed out your number to an interested guy, congrats baby *kiss. now dont mention when you two are hooking up! whats for dinner?"
also
i HIGHLY agree with this and that is why i question if she really meant the "we can be friends" statement because if not, to me, that's conveying an interest beyond platonic.
LovelyLady
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Perhaps it would be helpful if you share the other two situations? - I am only able to respond to the isolated situation/information you have shared in your OP.
She needs to make the distinction between immature and MATURE men - with whom you actually CAN be friends knowing they have an attraction at some level for you. If she is attractive, most every man WILL be attracted to her physically (that is a yawn factor unless she likes him back) - but if her male friends are MATURE - they are able to not be ruled by that and can be honorable and not bring that energy into the interactions with her, otherwise the men know that she would have to end the friendship. (Not because she has or does not have a bf, but because it is inappropriate to the agreed upon relationship).
A genuine friendship being offered by a woman is no small thing, and MATURE men that recognize a REAL LTR is not possible with a woman, but still truly value her will honor that boundary and move on to romantic interests elsewhere - attraction and interest are two different things. Attraction is animal and normal and does not have to be acted on or a controlling force. Romantic interest is a decision. And true friendship is a gift. My belief with what you have described so far is she just meant "friendly" and she has yet to know how to maturely handle this area.
Actually, no, most women do NOT think this way /realize that a man will think this.
That is the part that sounds a bit insecure to me.
The issue here is really about trust, IMO. And it is difficult because trust is something that is built over time. And so often we can bring the violations of our trust from other people/past relationships and burden a new relationship with the "sins" of the old.
AND also, sometimes people do not honestly forgive real - or imagined - slights/mistakes of the person they are with now. And sometimes they pull those past mistakes up as "proof" of present violations.
The truth is you did tell her in your teasing way that it didn't matter to you that she was having contact with this guy. So she she either thinks you just don't truly care if she goes with someone else, or she thinks you trust her to deal with it without you and you are secure that what you and she share is good and solid and she can't do better than you anyway so you are not worried. That is generally the two ways a woman will receive that kind of a reaction (information) from a man who teases her when other guys "orbit" (as they say here on SS).
In your 20's (and older for that matter) people are still learning how to love well - one basic situation is how to navigate being approached while in a committed relationship.
It is easy to think "they should just KNOW this or that" about being with me - but you know what? - sometimes people really don't know the best way to handle things.
I am just trying to offer another viewpoint here, with the information you've given so far.
***oh... also, everytime a guy flirts with a woman is an opportunity to turn him down... so I am assuming she has had opportunities to turn him down - he may just be ignoring her responses, as is preached to do by many PUA's on this board, BTW
Assuming she is functioning from an honorable place, this is where she set the frame/boundary with him and will function from to deal with this. Many younger/inexperienced women believe this is possible with all men.tryst type said:
She needs to make the distinction between immature and MATURE men - with whom you actually CAN be friends knowing they have an attraction at some level for you. If she is attractive, most every man WILL be attracted to her physically (that is a yawn factor unless she likes him back) - but if her male friends are MATURE - they are able to not be ruled by that and can be honorable and not bring that energy into the interactions with her, otherwise the men know that she would have to end the friendship. (Not because she has or does not have a bf, but because it is inappropriate to the agreed upon relationship).
A genuine friendship being offered by a woman is no small thing, and MATURE men that recognize a REAL LTR is not possible with a woman, but still truly value her will honor that boundary and move on to romantic interests elsewhere - attraction and interest are two different things. Attraction is animal and normal and does not have to be acted on or a controlling force. Romantic interest is a decision. And true friendship is a gift. My belief with what you have described so far is she just meant "friendly" and she has yet to know how to maturely handle this area.
tryst type said:
Actually, no, most women do NOT think this way /realize that a man will think this.
tryst type said:
That is the part that sounds a bit insecure to me.
The issue here is really about trust, IMO. And it is difficult because trust is something that is built over time. And so often we can bring the violations of our trust from other people/past relationships and burden a new relationship with the "sins" of the old.
AND also, sometimes people do not honestly forgive real - or imagined - slights/mistakes of the person they are with now. And sometimes they pull those past mistakes up as "proof" of present violations.
The truth is you did tell her in your teasing way that it didn't matter to you that she was having contact with this guy. So she she either thinks you just don't truly care if she goes with someone else, or she thinks you trust her to deal with it without you and you are secure that what you and she share is good and solid and she can't do better than you anyway so you are not worried. That is generally the two ways a woman will receive that kind of a reaction (information) from a man who teases her when other guys "orbit" (as they say here on SS).
In your 20's (and older for that matter) people are still learning how to love well - one basic situation is how to navigate being approached while in a committed relationship.
It is easy to think "they should just KNOW this or that" about being with me - but you know what? - sometimes people really don't know the best way to handle things.
I am just trying to offer another viewpoint here, with the information you've given so far.
***oh... also, everytime a guy flirts with a woman is an opportunity to turn him down... so I am assuming she has had opportunities to turn him down - he may just be ignoring her responses, as is preached to do by many PUA's on this board, BTW
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What makes you think I put them on a pedestal? I don't buy them things unless they do the same. I don't give them attention unless they tell me interesting things. I call them out on things I consider BS... etc.persistent exaction said:
I am just trying to figure out what is happening. People (including women) do stupid sh*t all the time. Not absolutely everything happens for a reason.
edit: Out of posts. Read the part about cheating on her last two BFs. Why would you have her as your GF if she cheated on her last BF with you?
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tryst type
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she has cheated on her past two bf's, me being one of them to her last one.
so it has been hard to fully trust her when she pulls something like this.
maybe that explains my subtle insecurities, as IMO it should.
honestly, how can someone react to a situation like this to come off unphased? ignore it? encourage it?
LovelyLady
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tryst type said:
Well, THIS is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you have said so far.
So, she has a history of not being trustworthy - and you have a history of knowingly being a participant in it with her.
I believe it is a form of dishonesty to act surprised or angry with someone for being who we already know them to be. You chose a woman you know cheats - the scorpion stings, the snake bites, the cheater cheats.
The stress of knowing the true nature of this person and still being with her must have been exhausting.
And also, you cheated with her... there can be no genuine respect for you from her - and with no RESPECT there can be no love.
There is sooo much for both of you to learn from reflecting on this relationship - but to be able to move on forward together from a place of trust, respect and love as a foundation - when the relationship's initial frame and foundation you both agreed to was based on deception would be a huge leap.
tryst type
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false. i wasn't aware at the time. the truth came out when we had gotten into a conversation about our previous relationships 3 months down.
i want to reiterate what you said here
she just sent me a text explaining "it was a dumb reflex, be nice, say you'll be friends make sure he knows you have a bf. did the same thing with a guy at an older job who i wasnt interested in and regretted it when he didnt get the hint and became for lack of better words a friendly stalker."
i told her that she has a problem not learning from her mistakes and there was only so much i can take.
she then replied "i'm sorry i keep pushing your limits, give me one last shot please"
LovelyLady
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So to be clear... are you saying she lied to her bf about you at the beginning of dating you - and she lied to you about having a bf at the beginning?
As has been said before, why not tell us this at the start!tryst type said:
Yeah, it depends on the people you hang around and ironically the more you think of people are cheating the more likely you'll attract cheats into your own life.
typical
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Lovely Lady, you come from a generation where men and women had a little bit of integrity and morals (even in the 60's and 70's people still had good character).
In todays MTV pop culture people are very very easy to lure into doing almost anything, I am 24 and have been through many many of the usual BF/GF relationships and it never works due to the ability for both sides to get a new partner with ease and due to the young age where trying everything is a buzz.
I say it again wait till your in your late 20's and early 30's before you even think about a serious relationship with a women as by then (hopefully) this site and your real life experiences have taught you enough so that you can weed out the bad from the good or if your still enjoying the dating lifestyle then keep doing it.
To the OP forget the whole issue and move on if she wants to come back let her come back but it is time you started to look elsewhere.
In todays MTV pop culture people are very very easy to lure into doing almost anything, I am 24 and have been through many many of the usual BF/GF relationships and it never works due to the ability for both sides to get a new partner with ease and due to the young age where trying everything is a buzz.
I say it again wait till your in your late 20's and early 30's before you even think about a serious relationship with a women as by then (hopefully) this site and your real life experiences have taught you enough so that you can weed out the bad from the good or if your still enjoying the dating lifestyle then keep doing it.
To the OP forget the whole issue and move on if she wants to come back let her come back but it is time you started to look elsewhere.
BlackJackal
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because he wasn't ready for the solution he already knew would solve it. He at least wants to believe that maybe he could be the BF she would never cheat on. He wants to be the exception in her eyes. Which could be another possible reason he pulled a power move (dumping her) as quick as he did. Do yourself a favor and just let her go. It's as simple as that.slaog said:
tryst type
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what's everyone's opinion on my request to have her tell this kid that she gave him a fake number because she didn't want to be rude but that she's not interested at all, to make me feel more comfortable about the situation and in my head give me some guarantee that this kid won't try to text/call her at any random time?
Igetit!
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If that makes you feel comfortable,then go for it. I just hope that your girlfriend doesn't find out what her giving out her number did to you.
I agree that she shouldn't have given out her number,but it seems like it made you extremely insecure. If she finds out how jealous,insecure,and scared you are about her possibly leaving you,she may be the one reconsidering being in the relationship.
I agree that she shouldn't have given out her number,but it seems like it made you extremely insecure. If she finds out how jealous,insecure,and scared you are about her possibly leaving you,she may be the one reconsidering being in the relationship.
tryst type
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i've made it perfectly clear that i could care less if she has an interest in someone else, the only thing i fear is that something is developing behind my back deceiving me into wasting my time with her, i'd like to know from the get go about any bit of feelings or considerations towards someone else so i know to walk out and find someone more worth my time. i made it clear about that, because thats how i truely feel.
KontrollerX
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"Everybody makes mistakes. Only the OP knows well enough if this was pre-meditated or just a reflex."
He's posted here because he is concerned about it which is enough information for me to go on that says to me he doesn't believe she made a simple mistake.
"Why would this chick tell him about giving out her number to the guy at work? That part makes no sense to me."
To test his reaction to it and see if his negative reaction which is what she's hoping for triggers love for him in her mind.
Its basically a test for her to see whether she still loves her boyfriend or should be exploring her other option.
Also sometimes things can be best hidden if they are in plain site.
To explain its similar to the husband and wife who are friends with another couple.
All four people know eachother and this information of all of them knowing eachother is in plain site.
So say one of the husbands starts having an affair with the other husband's wife and they are caught out on the town in broad daylight together one day by the wife whose being cheated on.
And because they all know eachother the cheating husband can say oh I bumped into Carla at the gas station so we started to chat. What are you doing in town at this time honey?
See the husband can easily deflect any suspicion as a harmless run in because his wife knows the woman which means the woman and the husband talking is not some mysterious troublesome thing. It can be reconciled in the wife's mind that it was the natural and polite thing to do by her husband to be talking to that woman at the gas station.
What she doesn't know or suspect is the two just got done banging at the local Motel 6 and she doesn't suspect this because of the "plain site" nature of the situation. Its not a strange woman her husband is talking to but a woman she is friends with or so she thinks.
She knows the woman and so does her husband and there is a legitimate reason for her husband to be talking to the other woman.
So the original poster's girlfriend telling her boyfriend about the number thing doesn't mean she is automatically honest.
It doesn't mean she's a liar either.
Its a judgement call that this guy had to make for himself and I think he made it by making this topic.
And if she did this as a tactic to hide in plain site she can easily explain away any phone calls she gets while with the OP as being a result of her "mistake" in giving the other guy her phone number.
She could tell the guy on the phone in front of the OP that he knows that she doesn't want him calling her but what the OP doesn't know is that they worked out that as a signal behind the boyfriends back to let the other guy know that she's busy with the boyfriend at that time which gives her a ready made legitimate looking excuse for hanging up all the while making it look to the boyfriend that she is being a good girlfriend to him and oh so loyal.
You can think this sort of thing is far fetched all you want but I actually had an ex girlfriend go so far as to fabricate her school schedule once to try and prove to me she couldn't possibly be talking to a guy I didn't want her talking to at so and so times as she was definitely in school then as the attendance record proved it.
Now thats not the same thing as what this chick may be doing to this guy but I'm just making a point chicks will go to incredible outrageous lengths to lie.
"If she finds out how jealous,insecure,and scared you are about her possibly leaving you,she may be the one reconsidering being in the relationship."
Jealousy and insecurity are terms women use to shame us so we don't get to the truth of the matter and abandon the search for truth entirely.
The terms don't belong on this forum from any man.
Its not about jealousy, its not about security, its what this man wants out of his relationships, its about his frame for a relationship of what he wants in it and what he wants in it is a girl without guy friends who constantly mentions those guy friends to him and his current girl is not that kind of girlfriend as she keeps bringing up this guy and he has felt strongly enough that something is rotten in Denmark about it that he has made a topic here on it.
And again its not called jealousy or insecurity its called being smart.
He's posted here because he is concerned about it which is enough information for me to go on that says to me he doesn't believe she made a simple mistake.
"Why would this chick tell him about giving out her number to the guy at work? That part makes no sense to me."
To test his reaction to it and see if his negative reaction which is what she's hoping for triggers love for him in her mind.
Its basically a test for her to see whether she still loves her boyfriend or should be exploring her other option.
Also sometimes things can be best hidden if they are in plain site.
To explain its similar to the husband and wife who are friends with another couple.
All four people know eachother and this information of all of them knowing eachother is in plain site.
So say one of the husbands starts having an affair with the other husband's wife and they are caught out on the town in broad daylight together one day by the wife whose being cheated on.
And because they all know eachother the cheating husband can say oh I bumped into Carla at the gas station so we started to chat. What are you doing in town at this time honey?
See the husband can easily deflect any suspicion as a harmless run in because his wife knows the woman which means the woman and the husband talking is not some mysterious troublesome thing. It can be reconciled in the wife's mind that it was the natural and polite thing to do by her husband to be talking to that woman at the gas station.
What she doesn't know or suspect is the two just got done banging at the local Motel 6 and she doesn't suspect this because of the "plain site" nature of the situation. Its not a strange woman her husband is talking to but a woman she is friends with or so she thinks.
She knows the woman and so does her husband and there is a legitimate reason for her husband to be talking to the other woman.
So the original poster's girlfriend telling her boyfriend about the number thing doesn't mean she is automatically honest.
It doesn't mean she's a liar either.
Its a judgement call that this guy had to make for himself and I think he made it by making this topic.
And if she did this as a tactic to hide in plain site she can easily explain away any phone calls she gets while with the OP as being a result of her "mistake" in giving the other guy her phone number.
She could tell the guy on the phone in front of the OP that he knows that she doesn't want him calling her but what the OP doesn't know is that they worked out that as a signal behind the boyfriends back to let the other guy know that she's busy with the boyfriend at that time which gives her a ready made legitimate looking excuse for hanging up all the while making it look to the boyfriend that she is being a good girlfriend to him and oh so loyal.
You can think this sort of thing is far fetched all you want but I actually had an ex girlfriend go so far as to fabricate her school schedule once to try and prove to me she couldn't possibly be talking to a guy I didn't want her talking to at so and so times as she was definitely in school then as the attendance record proved it.
Now thats not the same thing as what this chick may be doing to this guy but I'm just making a point chicks will go to incredible outrageous lengths to lie.
"If she finds out how jealous,insecure,and scared you are about her possibly leaving you,she may be the one reconsidering being in the relationship."
Jealousy and insecurity are terms women use to shame us so we don't get to the truth of the matter and abandon the search for truth entirely.
The terms don't belong on this forum from any man.
Its not about jealousy, its not about security, its what this man wants out of his relationships, its about his frame for a relationship of what he wants in it and what he wants in it is a girl without guy friends who constantly mentions those guy friends to him and his current girl is not that kind of girlfriend as she keeps bringing up this guy and he has felt strongly enough that something is rotten in Denmark about it that he has made a topic here on it.
And again its not called jealousy or insecurity its called being smart.
