*** If You Were To Go Back To Your College Days... ***

[mexican_player2]

but other than doing the crazy/stupid sh!t how would you guys socialize...how would you start convos with the girls in your class and the guys also building your social value...

SOMEBODY ANSWER THIS FUKIN QUESTION!

 

[Charm&Style]

Charm&Style - You sounded like you where saying something very profound but quite honestly I had a hard time following it. ;-)

Alot of people look down on it especially from people they think shouldn't be doing it. In otherwords, if I'm not doing it then that guy shouldn't be doing it. It's a bit of jealousy mixed in with a healthy dose of self-rightgeousness. It's the same way AFC dudes DON'T like when their friends start getting with girls - Same old crap, those guys are sleazes, they just aren't picky etc. Don't make decisions based on other people. Generally their oppinions are biased because of THEIR problems and misery loves company.

:flowers: :crazy:

damnit...!

 

[grinder]

Originally Posted by Charm&Style

but other than doing the crazy/stupid sh!t how would you guys socialize...how would you start convos with the girls in your class and the guys also building your social value...

SOMEBODY ANSWER THIS FUKIN QUESTION!

Ok already:

::I went to college from 1977 to 1981. Yes, graduated.

Sociatal/situational ****festsss: AKA: FRATERNITY.

There was no freaking "convo" no "social value" if the chick was at our house she was there to be plundered. The next day you talked about how hard it was to get bubble gum and chocklet out of her hair. There's yer convo.

Ok, being all "intellectual" and sh*t: social convention, participation, and involvement in popular "societal subgroups" can be quite good for getting pus*y.

 

[Charm&Style]

Originally Posted by Charm&Style

but other than doing the crazy/stupid sh!t how would you guys socialize...how would you start convos with the girls in your class and the guys also building your social value...

SOMEBODY ANSWER THIS FUKIN QUESTION!

Ok already:

::I went to college from 1977 to 1981. Yes, graduated.

Sociatal/situational ****festsss: AKA: FRATERNITY.

There was no freaking "convo" no "social value" if the chick was at our house she was there to be plundered. The next day you talked about how hard it was to get bubble gum and chocklet out of her hair. There's yer convo.

Ok, being all "intellectual" and sh*t: social convention, participation, and involvement in popular "societal subgroups" can be quite good for getting pus*y.

bro i have no effin clue what you just said or ment....:cuss:

 

[grinder]

As others have said here: get involved with social groups. Although often, fraternaties are not everyone's first choice, they offer many opportunities for interactions with women.

The term "social proof" is important in that fraternaties provide this and give you an automatic "in" so-to-speak with girls. Their are whole sororities and even entire women's colleges that focus on certain fraternaties for their social interactions.

Although grades are very important, believe me, in the future, whether you spent an extra 30 hours studying to get that 100 as opposed to a 87 is NOT important. Spend that 30 hours thinking about ways to do fun things with girls.

NEVER pass on an invite to a social function.

And, most importantly, learn how to write.

Your college experience will be very short if you continue to sound like the idiot that you do at present.

 

[Charm&Style]

And, most importantly, learn how to write.

Your college experience will be very short if you continue to sound like the idiot that you do at present.

Ya thats a :kick: in the butt if you dont know how to write.

still the quesions i addressed have not been answered.

joining a frat does not answer how you interacted with your classmates in your class or how you established yourself in your class...

 

[Ace of Flames]

joining a frat does not answer how you interacted with your classmates in your class or how you established yourself in your class...

ok dude, I don't think talking to girls in college classes will be any different than talking to girls anywhere else. What did you do in high school classes? Talk when there's no work or you're finished, take notes or do work when the teacher is doing their job. I don't think that's so hard to get.

How to establish yourself in class? Can you even do that in a college class? At least in the huge auditorium type classes, I don't think its possible. Those classes have like 100 people or more in them. Hard to stand out, I imagine. You'll be spending most of the time taking notes and such anyway. Really can't afford to miss stuff in college. I'd just talk to the people around me, rather than try and be the greatest guy in the whole class.

I think its more important to establish yourself OUTSIDE of class. Go to all the parties, always be a fun guy to be around, make loads of friends. Make sense?


That's all the stuff I'll be doing, anyway.

 

[grinder]

You are right, just joining a frat alone won't get it and on this thread your questions were not answered.

BUT, in other places on this site and in the DJ bible you will find some of the answers.

Don't forget, most of your competition in college does not have a freakin clue how to approach women. And don't know what to do next. They are AFRAID, scared sh*tless of approaching women.

Go look up Jwhite's (jwhite17 under field practice in the bible) approach journal. He did most of on a college campus.

I swear to GOD if you walk up to most college babes cold and say something even half-way funny you will shock the sh*t out of them, and yes, get a number. WHY, cause NOBODY else has balls to do it.

All this what to say, how to hold your body, when to call: its all bullsh*t if you are not there, if you don't approach them. Before you even get within 10 feet of them they have already decied whether you are a piece of sh*t or not. Guess what, the real secret is most ARE interested. Surprise!

Grab your nuts and DO IT!

I know this because I didn't do it in college. I accidentally stumbled from one gf to the next by shear luck. We had nothing to teach us then.

This site is a goldmine, use it. And, no disrespect meant on the "idiot" comment below.

 

[PRMoon]

I pulled of my first days, weeks, months of college like the true professional that I am I would not have changed a single thing. Though there were some opportunities that I passed on, the fact that the opportunities existed in the first place was because I ran pretty solid game.

 

[Abbott]

I currently attend college.

If I could go back to the summer after I finished high school, I wouldn't have gone to college until a year later. High school was the most traumatizing four years of my life, and I was in the mode of "doing as little as possible to get by" as far as classes were concerned. I didn't switch out of that mode in time to save myself, so I got a 1.0 my first semester, and the 2.6 the following semester wasn't enough to save me from getting kicked out due to poor performance.

For the record, I attend a community college where my GPA does beat that 2.6, so I'm no longer in that "getting by" mode. I'm not stupid, but I had serious issues at the time. But I digress.

Here's the worst part: I had nothing to show for it. I didn't make any friends, and I had a few drinking buddies from high school (though no one I can consider a friend).

If you are going to have poor grades, then please have something to show for it.

I wasn't ready for college at the time, and I should've just worked and not go to school for a year. Even though I'm now ready, the road to get here was much rougher than it had to be.


Ben

 

[d9930380]

Talk to people on an indivual level at the canteens, recreational rooms social areas (sorry I'm from the UK so I don't know these things for the US). Find out WHAT kind of people they are and if they will advance your social status leach on to them.

Hopefully if it's done right then you won't appear desparate or a nerd with no cool friends. If your personality isn't the party type, don't worry, alot of these guys will take you under their wing, they will get a kick out of it.

Now is the time to agree to go to every party. Once in the party. Act like you should be there! Hopefully you will imprese the dude that invited you and before you know it your a cool guy.

Getting the right friends is a bit like getting the right girlfriend. If you don't have the balls to talk and meet people then you will be left with nerds (say hello to 3 years of ****ing UGs or masturbation).

Carpe Diem!

 

[d9930380]

Abbott - Your story is quite common.

I sometimes think the coolest people are simply just those that mature quicker. I was a VERY slow developer physically and socially and I think I would have had a better time had I been put back a few years (although I'm smart so no such luck).

It's weird, I'm almost 30 but most people I meet now think I'm a cool 23-25 year old. Where the cool guys now look around 35 and boring old men. Not everyone ages at the same rate.

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

My best advice if I was starting my first day of college again..

-Stop taking everything so seriously!!! Laugh, have fun, do something different. No one has any control over your life but you.

In the movie Harold and Kumar Go to WhiteCastle, there was this great comment about Harold (this uptight Asian guy)...they were listening to the radio, Harold had his favorite stations pre-programmed and Kumar said...
(paraphrasing)..."dude your whole life is pre-programmed". I would bet that 99% of the guys here were pre-programmed to some degree.

Girls aren't going to shatter and smash if you talk to them. No one is going to care but you if you mess up. Living life should not be a delicate chess game for you.

-Care about yourself. Care about your quality of life. Have something to offer a girl (or to anyone).

-Focus on the experience.

-Talk to as many girls as possible.

-Realize that you never regret what you do, you regret what you don't do. What do you want to look back on? That should be guiding your actions.

-People follow your lead. If you don't think there's anything wrong, there's nothing wrong. Nothing should be wrong when interacting with anyone.

-Stop living in this world of labels - jocks, nerds, preppies, goths. No one cares. People care about going out and having fun, people care about having a laugh and a good time, people care about being around others that they like and they like spending time with.

-Do things for you that you're proud of.

-Leave college better off than you started it with.

 

[Taviii]

Keep'em coming, just 2 months until the first day of uni

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Oh, man, if I were to go back to my college days? I have fantasies about being able to do that. I graduated about a year ago, and my college days were a total freakin waste. I think about all the friends, all the girls, all the parties, and all the experiences and experimenting that I missed out on because I was too shy, too anti-social and too depressed to talk to anyone. Now I have to live the rest of my life with the fact that what were supposed to be the "best years of my life" went completely wasted and are gone forever.

I'd really give anything in the world to be able to go back to freshman orientation and start over.

 

[blackatheart]

this is a great thread please keep it alive. i'm starting college in less than a month lol and I'm annoyingly antisocial. thanks much

 

[Charm&Style]

My best advice if I was starting my first day of college again..

-Stop taking everything so seriously!!! Laugh, have fun, do something different. No one has any control over your life but you.

In the movie Harold and Kumar Go to WhiteCastle, there was this great comment about Harold (this uptight Asian guy)...they were listening to the radio, Harold had his favorite stations pre-programmed and Kumar said...
(paraphrasing)..."dude your whole life is pre-programmed". I would bet that 99% of the guys here were pre-programmed to some degree.

Girls aren't going to shatter and smash if you talk to them. No one is going to care but you if you mess up. Living life should not be a delicate chess game for you.

-Care about yourself. Care about your quality of life. Have something to offer a girl (or to anyone).

-Focus on the experience.

-Talk to as many girls as possible.

-Realize that you never regret what you do, you regret what you don't do. What do you want to look back on? That should be guiding your actions.

-People follow your lead. If you don't think there's anything wrong, there's nothing wrong. Nothing should be wrong when interacting with anyone.

-Stop living in this world of labels - jocks, nerds, preppies, goths. No one cares. People care about going out and having fun, people care about having a laugh and a good time, people care about being around others that they like and they like spending time with.

-Do things for you that you're proud of.

-Leave college better off than you started it with.

:rockon:


...just the answer i was looking for when i posted this thread...amazing shvt nikku

 

[Yorgho]

I'm only 24 and so I've still got the whole college experience fresh in my mind (probably gonna go to grad school too).

Although my nickname I have now is a new one, I actually came to this site my last year of high school (my my, that was about 6 years ago). I spent the summer before I started college reading everything I could on this site. I had been a "nice guy" who was also shy when I started.

Anyway, I made the effort to change. And one rule I had for myself, was to approach any and every girl that I could without going out of my way to do it.

Meaning, before every class (especially on the first day of class) most people would get to the classroom before the professor did. Well that's prime time to start some convos.

This is exactly how it will be (especially if you go out of state): People will be standing outside of the class (or even sitting inside) waiting. And everyone will be quiet, looking down or at a map of the campus or something.

Start talking. Just pick someone (even if it's a guy, cause you can be a connector - I'll explain in a second). Pick someone and ask them where they're from. If they're local, then you're automatically interesting because you're out of state (and you need someone to show you around!). Ask them what they're planning on majoring in and where they're staying and blah blah. So many easy questions to ask because everyone is there for the same reason.

THEN you start playing connector. If you dwell on just one person (esp a girl), you might over do it (or appear to over do it). As soon as you are ready, turn to the person next to you or across from you and say, "what about you, where you from?" And so on. Get everyone talking and all of a sudden you're the social guy who got everyone to loosen up. Plus, making lots of aquaintences right away is perfect because it'll get you invited to parties (and believe me, the 1st week of freshman year is nothing but parties). Hell, orientation is nothing but parties. Go to that if you are going out of state. I hooked up during orientation. Some girl thought I was cute and she was kind of drunk and she took my pants off in the middle of the room where there was a party and we excused ourselves.


Ok, if you're staying in the dorms go to floor meetings. Most guys will ditch the meetings because it's "gay" to go. But guess what? The girls will not ditch the meetings (at least not most of them). Mingle and flirt with the girls from your building/floor and you're in for the entire school year. This is so easy to do it's not even funny.

Or, if you're staying in an apartment, invite people from your class to come and party at your place. Make it BYOB and if you can invite 10 people, 50 will show up.

If you're at a commuter school and live at home, you better get into a frat or join some clubs.



Anyway, that should get you through the first week of college (for whoevers interested).

 

[Scrumtulescence]

...

Sounds like good advice. Wish I had followed it. Hell, I wish I knew about this site before college like you did.

 

[happymeal88]

Nice post Yorgho -- I am going to college this fall with my best friend (we are going to run this school, haha) and the thing I keep thinking about is how everyone is in the same boat: nobody knows anybody.

So as long as your not a goofy looking elephant man than you should have no problems starting convos. Get involved with intermural sports or something, and just keep expanding your social network.