If you wanna tell your girl you LOVE her, read this.

[Hellboy]

EDIT: If you want your girl to LOVE you, read this.

"I love you"
A big risk. It will definetely change the dynamic of your relationship. It's gonna get a hell of a lot better, or a hell of a lot worse. And it's gonna happen fast.

It's always said on this site that you must let the girl say those three words first. The reason is, it could sound like you wanna add something to a flailing relationship. Some reassurance. Whatever the reasons, if she's not feeling it, you're gonna ruin it if you open your mouth with such a statement.

But you can generate those feelings in her (and youself) if you know what to look out for. I've been trying to understand the dynamics of this for years and I think I get it at last. If you wanna have a girl fall in love with you, you need to heighten the connection between you. And this can be done by focusing on certain areas. This might seem a little obvious to some of you but hopefully I'm filling in some gaps for others.

If you can maximise these:
Fun, Bonding, Communication, Trust, Instinct, Teamwork, Rapport, Affinity and Respect
She will fall in love with you.

Fun - Make sure any time you spend together is infinitely more memorable than when you're apart. Have exciting adventures together! Even when she's with her friends she's thinking about stuff she's done with you. Obviously this includes sex
Bonding - Sharing your own private world where you simply gaze into each other's eyes, or sing together, or dance together, or have sex
Communication - Obviously have a laugh together! It is also important both listen to try to understant the other person's perspective - and be completely honest about yours. (Eg. We talked about uncomfortable silences and how we can enjoy them.)
Trust - Jealousy is natural, believe me. My girl is smokin hot and gets a lot of attention even when I'm right there - which can be annoying. But if you assume she's gonna cheat on you then you'll make it happen. I just laugh at these joker's expense and it brings us closer together. And you gotta be faithful to her too.
Instinct - This is where the theory proves to be true. You must quickly establish polar standpoints in terms of sexuality. Be a man and she'll be a woman. I became her protector and leader, and she became very sensual and submissive.
Teamwork - Anything where you and a girl combine efforts for a common goal. She drives, I read maps. Tidying our flat after a party. She's teaching me Greek.
Rapport - Pet names are great if they're imaginative and not too cheesy. Keep coming up with new ones. Private jokes, roleplay, stuff for just the two of you - leave the rest of the world guessing.
Attraction - Every second you spend together, you NEVER stop seducing her, with your eyes, your lips, your hands and your words. And make her cvm like she's never cvm before
Affinity - The rest you can develop but this one's more rigid. If you have similar interests, experiences and viewpoint on life, you are much more likely to click. Obviously. But if you are both open minded there's no real reason why your opinions can't grow together.
Respect - Be a gentleman, and treat her like a lady. You want a real lady don't you? Then treat her like one. Don't play games, don't openly ogle or flirt with other girls. Don't leave her out of conversations. Don't slam doors in her face.

All of the above things are what I believe contribute to making two people truly feel in love with each other. Coincidentally, all of the above things play an active part in making your sex life better! If I missed any out feel free to add.

 

[flyinshark]

The things you mentioned are good. These are all things you have to work on and apply, but for love to exist between 2 people there has to exist chemistry in the first place. Chemistry is that thing that makes 2 people FEEL attracted to each other naturally.

 

[Hellboy]

Originally posted by flyinshark
The things you mentioned are good. These are all things you have to work on and apply, but for love to exist between 2 people there has to exist chemistry in the first place. Chemistry is that thing that makes 2 people FEEL attracted to each other naturally.

Exactly, my friend! Isn't chemistry comprised of all of the above things?

 

[flyinshark]

Yeah, i guess when all these elements are combined, then chemistry can be born.

But there is also the other kind of chemistry. The kind that starts to exist right after you meet a person and you didn't even have time to talk with her. That natural chemistry that makes you say "Wow, i have the impression that i have known you for ages. I feel we have this deep connection, and man, we just met a few minutes/days ago."

Some people may call that natural and instantaneous attraction "love at first sight". Anyway, i guess i am drifting from your main point. Yeah, all the elements you mentioned are important if you want to maximize the chances of a girl falling in love with you

 

[Kaine]

Telling her you love her indicates that she has you. This is antichallenge. If you still have AFC tendencies once you go down this path you need to be particularly mindful of supplicating behaviour.

The most important thing is to maintain the dominant leader frame always.

And never allow the women to feel that she totally has you


Kaine

 

[Hellboy]

Ah, the elusive spark! I get what you are saying. It's a very romantic feeling. But when you get down to the nuts and bolts the spark comes from rapport, attraction and affinity combined.

Kaine I completely agree, this is a dangerous area to play with. You must master your own emotions as well as hers. If you are in control of your emotions, you can learn to control hers, using the above techniques. If you have mastered this, then the phrase "I love you" is a hugely powerful addition to the relationship game.

 

[frivolousz21]

I think you guys look way deep into this ****.


if u love her and she loves you....

I dont see why this is so hard

 

[Kaine]

Too much rapport and not enough attraction = you become her girlfriend and boring.

Girls need a man who can't be controlled in order to feel attraction.


Kaine

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Hellboy
Exactly, my friend! Isn't chemistry comprised of all of the above things?

Absolutely not!!!!

Chemistry is something that just happens! I know this sounds cliche, but it IS a chemical reaction!

You cannot decide it, however, by making them feel slightly insecure about the relationship, you can intensify the feeling!

The points you mentioned are worth applying along the way, and by the time the relationship develops and is now a long term relationship, all of the things you mentioned are necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with eachother! One that can last a long long time!

 

[MicCheck1-2]

If you really love a chick, you can easily say I love you. After the first date you really love a woman, tell her.

 

[Hellboy]

Kaine - Too much rapport and not enough attraction = you become her girlfriend and boring. Girls need a man who can't be controlled in order to feel attraction.

Yes, it's instinct. You will lead and she will follow. All of the things I mentioned are meaningless if you turn into a puzzy and start doing everything she tells you See above comments on Instinct. You can never have too much rapport, so long as you combine it with attraction!

CLOONEY - Chemistry is something that just happens! I know this sounds cliche, but it IS a chemical reaction!

Agreed, but something causes that chemical reaction. Attraction and rapport generates it and then affinity bolts it on tight. Then as the relationship progresses you maximise the feelings to generate.... LOVE!

MicCheck1-2, perhaps you should read the bible

 

[frivolousz21]

Hellboy-

I honestly feel as if this women has changed ur judgement or something.

I feel as if you write your posts with a sense of fear in losing her.

this love game isnt so hard.

all of those things u desribed are nearly IMPOSSIBLE TO happen with 1 person.

and chemistry isnt definable..


the majority of it..we dont know why it happens.

IE subconcious.

if this women you are with loves you as much as you love her.

then she should be happy by the idea of a long lasting commitment to you.

you seem like a hell of a guy and a great guy for her.

 

[Jay-X]

i really appreciated your posts, compliments!

 

[Hellboy]

Damn it I just noticed the list in my original list missed out Attraction. Not even a small mistake! The list should read:
Fun, Bonding, Communication, Trust, Instinct, Teamwork, Rapport, Attraction, Affinity and Respect
But Attraction is in the descriptions.
Attraction - Every second you spend together, you NEVER stop seducing her, with your eyes, your lips, your hands and your words. And make her cvm like she's never cvm before

Another quick word about challenge that has been brought up. The whole concept of 'being a challenge' or 'being a mystery' is misleading. It's breeding a large group of people on this site who are not being true to themselves. People end up making an exoskeleton of techniques and tricks and end up coming across as false, or arrogant, or even confusing a girl about their intentions. The truth of the matter is, if you have a high enough IL from the girl you don't need to play these mind games. Of course you don't call your girl every night. That is just stupid. But as long as she continues to make a sustained effort there's no reason why you can't follow suit. This sustained mutual attention is one of the things that increases Trust, which in turn heightens feelings of love. If you are a sociable couple (which I would highly recommend) then she will see for herself how you interact with other girls even if you don't flirt with them. She will see their attraction for you. That's as much of a challange you need to be.

Frivolous, this post isn't about me. It's not about my relationship. It's about what I have learned from my relationships over the years (and finally understand). I just want to share my findings with you guys. But you are right. I love this girl. Of course I worry about losing her... but if it ends it ends. Life will go on. I'll go back to being a male slvt.

Originally posted by Jay-X
i really appreciated your posts, compliments!

Cheers man, I hope you get chance to experience it.

 

[frivolousz21]

hellboy- I know how u feel man..I am fallin in love now.

and its fycking scary ****..and its hard to be strong when u care a lot for someone.

and everything u said was right on!

 

[Kaine]

"If you really love a chick, you can easily say I love you. After the first date you really love a woman, tell her."

Guys....This is an excellent example of what not to do.


You can never stop been challenging, especially in an LTR ever. She cannot feel attraction for someone she does not respect or believes she owns. An easy way of been challenging is to learn to say NO and mean it.


"if this women you are with loves you as much as you love her. then she should be happy by the idea of a long lasting commitment to you."


Women are changeable and love is conditional. If you don't do the right maintainance program. Which includes challenge get ready for the "You know, I love you but I'm not IN love with you". She may still feel affectionate and stick around but there will be no chemistry that she needs to feel attraction.


Kaine

 

[frivolousz21]

Men are changeble too.

I know my statement was bland.

it doenst mean you can all of sudden stop doing what u are doing and sit on ur ass and exspect it to be there.

but if she is in love

only you can mess that up now

 

[ARK]

Are there any signs to look for so you know your on the right track to her saying those words?

I can't imagine one morning she wakes up and says, "You know what, I love him." There has to be some signs that would give this away. It would have to build up gradually.

 

[frivolousz21]

yea there are signs..


HER IL is the best one.

if its high for a long period of time..then ur in

you will know if she is fallin in love with u.

 

[Hellboy]

Kaine, I agree that you have to stick to your principles and always play the dominant part in the relationship. But if you want things to progress past a certain point sometimes you have to take a chance. The thing about 'being a challenge', is that it throws off mixed signals. Which is great in the early stages of a relationship. But later on it interferes with the Trust issue.

So right, you don't want to lose her respect. And you don't want her to think she owns you. Or that you need her.
But if you play your cards right then:
a) She will believe that you are with her because you choose to be with her. Because you think she's special even though you could have any girl you want.
b) She won't give you any shyt because she knows that all she's doing is risking losing you, and all the happiness you give her.

I think shyt tests and bytchy behavior come from either mentally unstable women or women who aren't happy in the relationship for whatever reason. If you you always have a constant power struggle then maybe it's best to end the relationship and move on to greener pastures.

ARK checklist: Do you always have fun together? Is sex fantastic and readily available whenever you want it? Does she act submissive and girly (this is obviously more of a giveaway with older women)? Does she drape herself over you when you sit together? Does she trust and respect your decisions, attitudes and actions? Does she gaze at you with a contented smile? Is she always available when you want to spend time with her? (Note: this should always be on your terms, and don't overdo it. I see my girl at weekends only.) Does she always want to be at your side in a social setting (ie not with other guys)? Have you consistently and effortlessly impressed her with something (creativity, social ability, sports)? Does she hang on your every word? Does she contact you as often as you like her to? Does she trust that you wouldn't cheat on her?

If all of these things ars consistent for a prolonged period of time (I waited 10 weeks) then congratulations, she's in love with you! If she hasn't told you, she's gagging for you to tell her.

Of course this is a very dangerous time and Kaine is right to stress caution. Just because she returns the sentiment doesn't mean that you can be complacent. You should have these 10 commandments burned in your daily outlook of life with her. Once you let any area slip then the relationship will head down the pan slowly but surely!

And that's when the shyt tests start

Always:
Fun, Bonding, Communication, Trust, Instinct, Teamwork, Rapport, Attraction, Affinity and Respect