If you haven't excelled in life by age 32, it's pretty much over.

[Fruitbat]

At 32 I was doing huge amounts of drugs and just about retaining my job, going through a horrible divorce. This lasted until I was about 35, depressed and out of shape.

35 got fit, got a load of exams, married a girl 11 years younger, had a daughter at 37, got made regional director at 39, currently earn over $150k. Not bragging but it can happen and the biggest thing for me was cutting back on drinking and drugs.

everything up to 32 is just finding your feet.

I had nowhere near 30k in the bank at 32 but I’m in U.K. and we are a high tax economy and property costs a lot.

 

[RickTheToad]

I write this as a 32-year-old whose entire adulthood has been a cluster**** of epic proportions. Only been in two relationships, the latter being eight years long and toxic for at least half of that time. Only have $30k in the bank. Don't own property. Only ****ed 4 women. Hated college. Don't really have friends, just two drinking buddies who drag me down with them. Never seen my abs (I'm not fat but just not in shape)

I often hear all these stories of late bloomers, but I think 32 is the cut-off point. I previously kept holding out hope, but I harbour zero hope for myself anymore. My youth is over...I'll never get the carefree fun youth that 99% of the human population enjoys. I probably won't make a single new friend for the rest of my life, and I certainly won't ever be a player. I'm screwed.

It's good that you've at least stayed positive.

 

[jaygreenb]

I write this as a 32-year-old whose entire adulthood has been a cluster**** of epic proportions. Only been in two relationships, the latter being eight years long and toxic for at least half of that time. Only have $30k in the bank. Don't own property. Only ****ed 4 women. Hated college. Don't really have friends, just two drinking buddies who drag me down with them. Never seen my abs (I'm not fat but just not in shape)

I often hear all these stories of late bloomers, but I think 32 is the cut-off point. I previously kept holding out hope, but I harbour zero hope for myself anymore. My youth is over...I'll never get the carefree fun youth that 99% of the human population enjoys. I probably won't make a single new friend for the rest of my life, and I certainly won't ever be a player. I'm screwed.

I completely switched careers and started a business at 30 in an industry I knew nothing about. Took 5 years of extreme sacrifice but there is always opportunity, have to willing to work for it though. Will not just fall in your lap. Put that pressure on yourself that you HAVE to make it work. Where there is a will there is a way

 

[Bible_Belt]

In this pickup group I am on, one guy got into game in his thirties

The group isn't a random sample. Lots of guys that age and older might do just fine, but they wouldn't be in a pickup group.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

I tried to resist replying to this but... I feel strongly about it.

Objectively, OP, your entire assertion is pure trash and an affront to any man who takes responsibility to overcome adversity in his life. It's so easily, provably wrong, that I'm not even going to provide any evidence to refute your claim.

Subjectively, you are depressed and that is skewing your perception of reality. You have my sympathy, and I genuinely wish you a full recovery.

Once you start thinking more clearly, you will see how truly blessed you are. All else being equal, you are in the top fraction of a percent of humans on this earth in terms of prosperity, opportunity and abundance.

You have to be willing to take responsibility for your mental health.

 

[Yam_Naem_Kluk]

^ It's too late to take responsibility for my mental health. Most people don't live with undiagnosed and untreated depression / social anxiety for like 15 years and only then get treated. The vast majority of people tend to notice these things and take action on them but I escaped mine through porn, the Internet, and booze throughout my 20s.

 

[Fruitbat]

^ It's too late to take responsibility for my mental health. Most people don't live with undiagnosed and untreated depression / social anxiety for like 15 years and only then get treated. The vast majority of people tend to notice these things and take action on them but I escaped mine through porn, the Internet, and booze throughout my 20s.

You and every other man.

You can add “masturbating for 6-15 hours at a time on vast amounts of cocaine, amphetamines and ecstasy, alone” to mine . That’s literally what I did for a long time.

that was my weekend. My friends knew. My parents knew. Go and score, put the laptop on and close the curtains. Then skip work, eat a load of junk food. Alone.

i did sometimes go out and I did date too. At times I held it together. I had little breaks but I got myself in some really horrible places.

Just FYI I’m the poster anyone who’s 40 with a brilliant fulfilling job, a much younger and hot wife, plenty of money and a great life.

Don’t tell me you can’t improve because you can. I was a total sad joke of a man for years. That’s how low my life was.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Id say 90% of men your age don’t have $30k in the bank.

Most people in their 30s have tens of thousands of debt if not hundreds when you include mortgages and student loans.

^ It's too late to take responsibility for my mental health. Most people don't live with undiagnosed and untreated depression / social anxiety for like 15 years and only then get treated. The vast majority of people tend to notice these things and take action on them but I escaped mine through porn, the Internet, and booze throughout my 20s.

I was severely depressed with social anxiety from ages 14 until my late 20s, and I still have a low grade persistent depression and social anxiety that is unbearable some days. I also was completely clueless with women despite being red pilled and exposed to game/pua from an early age, my stunted development gave me a huge disadvantage.

Yet still every passing week my life is getting better (albeit slowly) and women are shockingly easier to attract than ever before. I've never once thought that it was "too late". I would say 45-50 or so is probably a good approximation for when you should fully "have your **** together"; almost no one has their **** together by 30, 35, only a small bit of wisdom and learning from their 20s.

You also have to consider that if you take care of yourself you may live much longer than previous generations and may still hold great SMV into your 50s or 60s.

Take a big dose of mushrooms and you'll see the errors in your thinking.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

^ It's too late to take responsibility for my mental health. Most people don't live with undiagnosed and untreated depression / social anxiety for like 15 years and only then get treated. The vast majority of people tend to notice these things and take action on them but I escaped mine through porn, the Internet, and booze throughout my 20s.

Have you considered Thailand, OP?

 

[Gamisch]

Everything before 40 is all about observing. From that point of view you still have 8 years to discover yourself. This is just my personal opinion/preference of looking at things.

In my town competition was fierce , and at times that made me feel inferior at times. I brought that vibe with me into my early twenties.

When i was end 20 i started losing hair. I saw a picture of my 21 y.o self and thought:he kinda handsome.

Then I was begin 30. Again felt like you did. Now I'm end 30 and again I look at a picture of that guy and think..you guessed it.: damn he kinda handsome.

Now I start to feel at ease with myself . I've learned the hard way that women are way to fickle to base your own worth on. So much so that its actually dangerous. If you find a narcist she will lift you up and break you down. When you deal with women you must be aware of this and be able to see theough this without letting it influence your self image. You gotta determine your own worth on you.

The critical voice that screams in your ear needs to stfu. Or scream rather motivational shyte instead of digging graves for you.

By the way 30 k is a great starting point. You could save more and start a business one day, or spend money on improving yourself whenever you feel like. When I was 32 I had 60k in debts . 2 years ago I finally was debt free.

Be your own best friend.

 

[Gamisch]

^ It's too late to take responsibility for my mental health. Most people don't live with undiagnosed and untreated depression / social anxiety for like 15 years and only then get treated. The vast majority of people tend to notice these things and take action on them but I escaped mine through porn, the Internet, and booze throughout my 20s.

What you talking about?

If anything the porn drugs and booze only increased your depression. It's never to late to take up therapy. People wait till their 40/50/60's to take it up.

If i were you I would start asap by getting diagnosed. Even if you live in the states where I assume therapy could be expensive, a single diagnosis will help you to know what to look for. If you get diagnosed with lets say autism, you can start following channels and read books about it. Or join forums ect. But that's impossible without a professional diagnosis .

Best is therapy for a while imo.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There was some fairly recent data research to find out the amount of a surprise expense that would bankrupt a typical American. That number was about $400. If you could produce that much cash right now, you are doing better than average in the USA, which is supposed to be a wealthy country.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

OP is in some serious need of therapy, the self inflicted negativity from someone this young is hard to read let alone subject yourself to. Seek professional help for your depression.

 

[BMX]

People, regardless of gender, that are running around undiagnosed after the age of 30 become a liability to everyone else. Get that sh1t sorted ASAP. A self-help book will NOT cut it.

 

[Machine10033]

Yeah your right at 32.... with no crippling disabilities or terminal diseases... your life is essentially over.. because you didn’t get laid in your 20’s.

 

[Murk]

I only turned human at 32, relax.

 

[Reincarnated]

It's only really over when you say it's over.

Starting tomorrow, I challenge you to start doing ONE thing to help start turning this ship around, you can choose the one thing. Whether that be giving up alcohol ( I think you should), making a concentrated effort in the gym, or devoting a little bit of time each day to improving skills that will help you earn more money.

It's your life, do as you please

 

[Stoic]

I would read Jordan Petersons books.

Be willing to start with small and humble actions to turn your life around. Start making your bed in the morning. Start walking. Then, running. Then, lifting. Raise your income. Take on more responsibility.

It’s forgiveable that you haven’t achieved much up until now. Your biggest issue is your self defeating, lazy attitude. I have little sympathy for that because it’s simple to change with willpower.

 

[Reincarnated]

I would read Jordan Petersons books.

Be willing to start with small and humble actions to turn your life around. Start making your bed in the morning. Start walking. Then, running. Then, lifting. Raise your income. Take on more responsibility.

It’s forgiveable that you haven’t achieved much up until now. Your biggest issue is your self defeating, lazy attitude. I have little sympathy for that because it’s simple to change with willpower.

I was hoping someone would make a post like this. Peterson lays out the path and reasoning for self improvement better than anyone else in modern society, critics be damned.

I've never been much of a lazy underachiever, but 12 Rules for Life is one of my favorite books.

 

[svencandy]

What is your employment history?
How do you make your cash right now?