if you get lame flakey excuses, is the best reply silence?

[pete101]

if you get flaky excuses cancelling on dates, is the best reply you can give no reply? i.e. silence.

my understanding of this whole process is if she has high IL, then nothing will stop her meeting you, but if it's dwindling the excuses start to come thick and fast. this chick from facebook on my other thread, super high IL (or it seemed) initially on monday, gave me the number without even me askign for it.. she offered it. i suggested to meet sunday as im in her area then, but then back tracked and suggested tues/weds (may have came across eager) she agreed but tried to suggest she decides where she wants to go rather than me decide. i tell her i know 2 quiet places and to meet at a certain place near her, she's like 'ok'. yesterday i tell her where to meet me, she gives me flaky excuse her best friend is here and it's best to meet weds (flaky excuse number 1, could be sh1t test too i dont know to see how available you are) i agree, i tell her where to meet tonight, she flakes again saying she had a nightmare.. so lame.

i haven't responded nor will i.. what i can't understand is why would a woman suddenly lose interest from seemingly high IL to low in space of 2 days?

i don't 'think' i came across too available/needy/eager but yes i could have done a bit better with my text responses.

is the rule that unless she contacts me again now there's no point as her IL is too low? she should contact me EVEN if she's just checking to see if im still interested and if she doesn't then she's not. it's prob not even worth trying again in a couple weeks is it? even though i might. i just cant understand why her IL suddenly dropped for no inexplicable reason apart from maybe me looking bit too available and me not letting her decide where to go. maybe she saw one of my recent pics on facebook i uploaded she didn't like i've put on a bit of weight so..

how do you actually convey 'your excuses are lame i'm not buying it until you come correct im not interested' without actually saying it.. is that silence and let their hamster in head spin to figure out WHY you're not responding (even though it ends up being the wrong reason they think of)?

 

[Comatozed]

I don't think the hamster spins if she ain't interested mate.

The reason you are going ghost should not be to generate interest, it is just to show you are above wasting your precious time on her, which you genuinely should be. This sometimes can raise her interest, but that's not the reason you do it. Ignoring is the only way to DHV and maintain frame.

I don't usually do this though, although I might start. I usually just say 'ok, well i'm not one to pester girls so you lmk when you're free, cya later '

There is no harm in a follow up in a couple of weeks thought. The old 'hail mary'. Nothing to lose, and even if you get ignored 9/10 it's still worthwile. For instance, I messaged a ONS who had shown low interest after the ONS about 3 weeks after having NC with just 'wanna come watch netflix' and we started to speak again.

I might try a massive hail mary message tonight to a girl I couldn't **** cos too drunk, i've not spoken to her since and this was 3 months ago but I know she was dtf once and I have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

[pete101]

I don't think the hamster spins if she ain't interested mate.

The reason you are going ghost should not be to generate interest, it is just to show you are above wasting your precious time on her, which you genuinely should be. This sometimes can raise her interest, but that's not the reason you do it. Ignoring is the only way to DHV and maintain frame.

I don't usually do this though, although I might start. I usually just say 'ok, well i'm not one to pester girls so you lmk when you're free, cya later '

There is no harm in a follow up in a couple of weeks thought. The old 'hail mary'. Nothing to lose, and even if you get ignored 9/10 it's still worthwile. For instance, I messaged a ONS who had shown low interest after the ONS about 3 weeks after having NC with just 'wanna come watch netflix' and we started to speak again.

I might try a massive hail mary message tonight to a girl I couldn't **** cos too drunk, i've not spoken to her since and this was 3 months ago but I know she was dtf once and I have absolutely nothing to lose.

yeah i guess it doesn't.. i think hamster spins IF she contacts you even to check if you're still interested and if you still dont reply she'll wonder why you're not.. i think that's where it begins.. but if the interest is too low anyway she won't.

the furious part is we all never know why they suddenly lose interest after seemingly high IL.. it's f'ing annoying.

 

[Comatozed]

Yea there's so many reason it's not worth worrying about. Don't take it personally and don't pin any hope on any one girl. It sets you up for disappointment.

I was speaking to a girl with seemingly high IL and a few days later she's in a relationship. But I know better than to get invested so it's just w/e.

 

[Comatozed]

Yea there's so many reason it's not worth worrying about. Don't take it personally and don't pin any hope on any one girl. It sets you up for disappointment.

I was speaking to a girl with seemingly high IL, got her number from tinder, and a few days later she's in a relationship. But I know better than to get invested so it's just w/e.

Did wonder if her bf knew she was dishing numbers out on tinder though.

 

[Who Dares Win]

As Comatozed said, going ghost is not a "trick" to rebalance the interaction, its a tool you use to save your time and your mental health against uninterested women/attention wh0res/various cvnts.

Sometime in a girl whos interest level is neutral, your going ghost may move it into the slight interested range or could make her hamster walk and make her ego tingle.

So she may throw a bait for you to make the interaction start again, wheter is a random text asking the name about a place you visited or some other minor thing which reopens the interaction without her being exposed.

Now you can ignore it and have her hamster to start jogging or you can fall on it by answering her question and invite her again, in this second case be sure she will disappear with a smile and a pumped ego while you will be p1ssed off.

If you wanna use to this system to get the girl or try, first of all prepare yourself to be totally outcome independant and consciuous it may not work, second let her work, thinki like a sadist which enjoy keeping people out of balance, the harder you make it for her the more chances it will work.

But then again, is it really worth except for the palying part? do you really need a relation which starts this way?

I talk by experience, I had a date with a girl to go clubbing togheter and she simply disappeared that same day in the morning, an other one rejected my attempt only to asking hugs (baits) after I met her two times and treated her like a random acquitance.

 

[pete101]

Yea there's so many reason it's not worth worrying about. Don't take it personally and don't pin any hope on any one girl. It sets you up for disappointment.

I was speaking to a girl with seemingly high IL, got her number from tinder, and a few days later she's in a relationship. But I know better than to get invested so it's just w/e.

Did wonder if her bf knew she was dishing numbers out on tinder though.

this one infuriates me the most. because she had high IL at least i thought on monday then suddenly became all flaky. i regret not just meeting her that night, she prob would have said yes. strike while iron's hot. i'll do that from now on but it might risk looking too eager available but it's better than position i'm in now not knowing.

 

[pete101]

As Comatozed said, going ghost is not a "trick" to rebalance the interaction, its a tool you use to save your time and your mental health against uninterested women/attention wh0res/various cvnts.

Sometime in a girl whos interest level is neutral, your going ghost may move it into the slight interested range or could make her hamster walk and make her ego tingle.

So she may throw a bait for you to make the interaction start again, wheter is a random text asking the name about a place you visited or some other minor thing which reopens the interaction without her being exposed.

Now you can ignore it and have her hamster to start jogging or you can fall on it by answering her question and invite her again, in this second case be sure she will disappear with a smile and a pumped ego while you will be p1ssed off.

If you wanna use to this system to get the girl or try, first of all prepare yourself to be totally outcome independant and consciuous it may not work, second let her work, thinki like a sadist which enjoy keeping people out of balance, the harder you make it for her the more chances it will work.

But then again, is it really worth except for the palying part? do you really need a relation which starts this way?

I talk by experience, I had a date with a girl to go clubbing togheter and she simply disappeared that same day in the morning, an other one rejected my attempt only to asking hugs (baits) after I met her two times and treated her like a random acquitance.

yeah i agree with you, it's not a tactic but saves me the time and hassle. i think it's more why has she suddenly lost IL for an inexplicable reason.. the not knowing is what bothers me the most as at least if you know why then you can move on and improve. i dont like being lead on and then disappointed. that's what bothers me the most.

 

[Comatozed]

The problem is with all these games, is that the fundamental principle is to be outcome independent and have an abundance mentality. But if you're giving it enough thought to play a game, then you're not actually outcome independent and your acting from a place of scarcity, rather than abundance.

It's really hard to ever be completely outcome independent, everything we do has a desired result, but don't put too much hope on things, try not to care and tell yourself you don't.

I am going to send the hail mary message to an old ONS tonight cos that is something I 100% do not care either way about. I even find it kinda funny that I am being so ridiculous.

 

[mikey2012]

lame flakes= no interest...next her...

 

[pete101]

lame flakes= no interest...next her...

i agree but why did she have supposedly high IL on monday? she gave me the number without asking on FB, ok maybe she was bored.. but given the flow of the convo we prob would have met that night. i just tried to be careful not looking too available so i offered tues/weds. i regret it now. strike while iron (seems) hot.

 

[mikey2012]

who gives a fuk? women change their mind by their nano second.. if she wants wants you she will come back. In the meantime don't waste time analyzing/thinking about it..game other chicks....DONT SECONG GUESS YOURSELF...you will drive yourself crazy.. only betas look back..

 

[Comatozed]

Quick note.

Not being too available means something slightly different to what I think you think it means.

It's more of a longer term thing. As in don't be available all the time. For the first meet or an early meet you can say 'I happen to have an opening in my schedule tonight, lets go get drinks'.

That isn't being too available, it just so happened you're free this one specific night. It's not a sign of things to come or typical of you're life. Which she will find out for herself over the next few weeks.

 

[mikey2012]

Never pretend to be too available. If you are then she will see through you...

respond to below coz i reached my limit....


She can smell it.......like the smell of desperation when you approach...dead giveaway...

 

[Comatozed]

Assume you mean unavailable?

I don't know how she would really know I wasn't busy on a certain day if I told her I was.

Even if i was sat at home doing nothing she will not know that if I tell her I'm out with friends.

 

[Trunks]

No biggie, freed up time for something I was curious about

 

[Stugots26]

By way of example, here's a text exchange I had with a putative plate (23), I'm 34. Eventually it led to a date a few weeks later. She continues to make BS excuses about her ADD and how I can't hold her to a single text that I send if I'm not willing to send a second text or pursue any further. Whatever, she just won't get the gift of my presence, and she'll watch me go out with other women, which is what eventually got me the date in the first place. Zero fvcks given, I'm just showing you how I let this play out.

I had asked her when she's free to get together. She told me Thursday or Friday would be best. I set a date and time and location for Thursday. No response. Thursday comes, I text on my way:

Me: On my way but may be a couple minutes late
Her: wait
Her: what
Her: wait wait wait
Her: I completely forgot
Her: oh my god
Her: and my phone just died
Her: ughhh
Her: I am so so so so so so so so so so incredibly sorry. this week has been really awful
Me: Pffft
Her: : (
Her: you didn't remind me
Me: lol
Her: what are you doing next week when are you free
Her: I owe you drinks
Her: Monday night?

The following three texts are like hamster steroids when they come after any bull$hit a girl tries to run:

"Pffft," "lol," and "..."

Hamsters run best in silence a lot of the time, but these are subtle texts that don't necessarily call her out yet do put her on notice that you're both maintaining your frame and just may not be buying everything she's trying to sell. Either way, she'll be trying to figure out where you're at.

Notice that first I "Pffft" which is the equivalent of scoffing at her. Then she tries to blame shift and I just flat out laugh at her attempt, as if she's digging a bigger hole for herself. I think elipses ("...") are best when your in-person response would just be to blankly stare at her and wonder how she's made it this far in life.

 

[Comatozed]

Were you actually on your way?

 

[Stugots26]

I was. I went, was drinking a beer by the time she responded, finished it, and went to a different event that a different plate invited me to.

I'm beginning to differentiate women not only on high or low interest, but within interest brackets, based on relative confidence vs. insecurity. The more insecure, the more they'll want you to pursue, and you can almost predict a negative outcome if you're a man with options and boundaries who is unwilling to chase. The more confident, level-headed, agreeable, with a great attitude they are, the more they'll understand that it's not up to men to chase them down, the more they'll acknowledge that that behavior would actually repel them, the less entitled they'll feel to being chased, and the more they'll eventually relent. Ideally you want a confident woman with a great attitude and high interest to have an effortless liaison/arrangement/relationship/whatever.

As I've gotten more and more success, and my standards have risen exponentially based on that success, I take a hardline stance. One communication - phone, text, email, fb message, whatever the medium - and that's it. Only one. If she's interested, she'll respond. If not, walk away and never look back until she's willing to show up.

 

[pete101]

She sent this half hour before we were supposed to originally meet (she already flaked earlier today)

I'm so sorry but I will expand to you when we meet up , I don't want to be tired the first day , I want to be nice the first meet

What should I say back just ok later?