If she is lustfully staring at other men or flirting.

[metalwater]

Pook

The Truth About Women

BIBLE WORTHY ohh what's the use, it's not like the mods actually listen to us:(

www.sosuave.net

 

[Rainman4707]

Advice from the old lady:

Date unattractive women who nobody notices. This will cease to be an issue.

Oh wait. You want an attractive girl? She’s had to learn to deal with (often excessive or unwanted) male attention. And you got an “F” in mindreading as well. Guys with this concern are either low value or insecure or both. You do not know what someone else is thinking.

Now. If she’s holding someone else’s hand or kissing/cuddling with someone else? This is physically observable behavior and yes you might have a point. Just understand that EVERY dude is trying to get with a hot girl. So if you find your girl hot? Guess what? So do others. I’m a gregarious person, outgoing and social. Men always want to acknowledge me and sometimes hug me to say hello (if I know them). It’s a nuanced thing to understand as a woman but women who get lots of male attention inherently must learn to manage this, because it’s going to occur (the attention).

If you’ve never dated or been around beautiful women it’s going to be an adjustment to calibrate to how she deals with the attention. You cannot reasonably expect her to be rude or ignore everyone (that’s rude and has adverse effects) or expect her to be a b itch to everyone else either.

I get approached constantly. My boyfriend understands this. This morning actually he joked with me about how many men would try and hit on me (we are attending an event for the sport in which he is semi-pro this week and so will be around lots of other participants)…I always politely shut them down nicely by saying that I’m here with BF. I’m nice but matter-of-fact about it. Everyone knows who I’m with in short order. But there are advantages conferred to my BF because he’s with a socially adroit partner as @2Rocky alludes to above. If I averted my eyes and refused to interact with anyone whatsoever that would be awkward and weird.

So be sure this isn’t your own insecure nature, OP. It’s either that or low interest on her part. And there are likely other observable signs if it’s low interest. Dismiss for low interest. Check your own insecurities if she’s into you.

My .02

I think it is a lack of respect to the guy she is out with, if she is constantly staring across the room at the big guy with tattoos and a beard who is oozing masculinity.

It's just the same as me staring at the woman with by the far the most awesome tits in the bar. Im looking at her tits because its my nature. I know women arent staring at the spiderman type guys. Its always a guy they are attracted to

 

[BeExcellent]

@metalwater you have to understand something. Positive happy people are attractive. If they also happen to be physically attractive and warm/engaging? They are massively attractive as well as rare. Everyone wants a partner with those attributes. I cannot change my personality or my positive energy. I like that I have sex appeal. It beats being awkward. I am well aware of the vibe I exude. I manage it and exhibit loyalty because I have character.

This is why character matters. And yes I am perfectly happy to turn away attention from men I might otherwise have interest in. That’s what you do as a partner. I enjoy the man I’m with. Why would I mess that up, disrespect him or betray him? I wouldn’t.

Maybe I’m way off but it seems to me that you might be drinking the kool aid of “Every woman is constantly on the hunt for something better…” that gets tossed around on here.

Now. Many many women are in fact like that. But not all. I am happy to be on my own. In fact it’s preferable to dealing with some sub par guy. I don’t entertain sub par guys. I don’t waste my time like that. If I’m with a man? It’s because I chose him from among those who wanted an opportunity to date me. I’m choosy. So if I’m giving a man my time? It’s because I find him worthy of the investment of my time, which is valuable and which I cannot get back.

So it’s not about whether I am having a blast…(I AM but not for the reasons you imagine, rather because I am internally happy, satisfied with life, full of joy, and positive…)

And this gets back to why I’m magnetic and attractive.

The avatar? That’s me. Recently. I’m fit, athletic, slender & stylish. I have a pretty face. But I’m not the single most beautiful woman on Earth. I know that. But as a total package I’d say I’m a solid 8 across the board. I know this. So if some gorgeous witch comes around? She might be a 10 in looks and or body with a 3 personality and a 6 intelligence and have an entitled attitude. Am I worried? Hell no. I’m solid across the board. Few women are. And so I own it.

And if someone who is genuinely a better option than me comes around? He can go. I’m not worried about all that. Seriously.

 

[BeExcellent]

What in your opinion is a sub par guy?

Any man who I don’t find attractive. Attraction is an amalgamation of various attributes, and very few men appeal to me. So unlike many women who will choose a man based on resources or finances or whatever without attraction (desire) I will only consider men for whom I desire. Everyone else is sub par to me. Most are invisible. That doesn’t mean they aren’t great men for some other woman; but any man I do not desire is sub par to me.

 

[BeExcellent]

Could you list them?

Yes. Why? Why not simply DM me rather than get further off topic?

I’ve answered the questions that pertain to the OP already. My personal preferences have no bearing on the OP.

If you want to know what makes a man attractive then start a new thread or use the search function. The question of what makes a man atractive gets debated a great deal here.

 

[BeExcellent]

An opportunity to talk about yourself, and you decline.. Color me impressed. I wanted to know what YOU found attractive in men. As this could absolutely pertain to the topic at hand. Maybe these types of males were at the events that caused your husband to mate guard. Which was going to be my next question. Of course now you will probably retort saying these types of men were not there. Whether that's true or not... Who knows...

You guys (and gals) are killing me. That’s all very flattering, thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere

Before I give my basic list of things there are 2 things to digest about the type of men who appeal to me. As I have noted numerous times around here I strongly prefer the player/playboy archetype. I require a man who knows a thing or two about women. Or I’m bored. Yawn.

I’ve also said many times that there are two questions requiring an answer in the affirmative from the get go to pique my interest. The questions are:

1. Do I desire him sexually?
2. Can he lead me?

Now. A fair bit goes into an affirmative response to both of those questions. Keep in mind I like the player/playboy archetype. Question 1. Is fairly straightforward. It concerns of course sexual desire. But it’s more than that.

Here’s the basic criteria for getting to Yes on Question 1:

1. He is masculine
2. He is sexy
3. He is handsome/hot
4. He is tall (remember this is MY list…)
5. He has a resonant voice
6. He is stylish
7. He comports himself with moxy/confidence
8. He is unapologetic about his desire nature
9. He is charming/engaging (Game)
10. He is vulnerable/caring

How those attributes manifest will vary from man to man. Typically my physical type is tall, dark & handsome with an Italian or Mediterranean or Latin look (George Clooney is very handsome in my book)…but currently I’m with a man who is a blue eyed blonde of Scandinavian decent who has hair the same color as mine and almost as long. Go figure. He meets each criteria noted above and is a great lover to boot. He has a beaming infectious smile & I love his laugh. And we laugh a lot.

But. That is only half the equation. Fvck boys, sexy losers and dark triad bad boys are covered in the above list often too. And those are a hard pass for me.

Here is the basic list of what goes into Question 2 being affirmative:

1. Financially self sufficient and successful. (I require this not for his financial support but rather to avoid becoming a sugar mama since I am successful in my own right).
2. Ambitious/driven in his purpose
3. Intelligent
4. Has enough life experience that I don’t feel I know more than he does
5. Requires respect
6. Trustworthy
7. Has the ability to “check” me if I am out of line/strength to walk if required
8. Is goal oriented and self-motivated
9. Is dominant
10. Is physically protective

Those are the leadership quality basics. Here’s the thing. Upon first seeing someone out and about, I might see a physically attractive man. However the things that go into question 2 require getting to know a man.

If I am satisfied in relationship there is no motivation for me to explore whether someone would meet my second leadership list. I require a man who I desire who I am comfortable submitting to.

That’s a small subset of men. But they do emerge and find me if I’m available. They always have. Who I am attracts what I prefer effortlessly. Which is why my guy mate guards. He knows he’s not the only sought after man who would take an interest in me. He’s got to reach a point where he trusts totally my character, but that’s a product of his past experiences with other women. This past weekend there was a sexy guy who noticed me both nights. My guy saw the dude checking me out and asked if I thought he was attractive. I said “Sure, but looks aren’t everything and you have nothing to worry about.” This answer satisfied him. Had I lied and said he wasn’t attractive (the guy was sexy & knew it), then my boyfriend would not have trusted my answer. My body language was very focused on my guy and everyone understood we were together. I would not engage the other dude although he hovered around a bit trying to get an angle.

When you’ve been in night game as long as I have (30+ years) you pick up on the nuance of sub-communication…but you still must refrain from assuming another’s thoughts. It’s a balance.

Cheers

 

[zekko]

10. Is physically protective

This is interesting. Awhile back, there was talk on this forum about the three Ps of masculine behavior: Protect, Provide, and Procreate.
Basically these were three things women wanted in men: the ability to protect them, to provide for them, and be good in bed.

Guys here often would denigrate the "Provide" portion as being solely for betas, "BetaBux" and all that. But the "Protect" part was still seen as alpha because it suggested that you were strong, athletic, and capable as a fighter. In recent years however, I notice more guys are sliding the "Protect" portion over to the beta side as well. "If you're willing to protect her, then she will see you as a beta". IMO they are taking this beta stuff to the extreme here, because of course any woman wants to feel safe when she is with her man. There's nothing unsexy about that.

 

[metalwater]

Maybe I’m way off but it seems to me that you might be drinking the kool aid of “Every woman is constantly on the hunt for something better…” that gets tossed around on here.

maybe..

thanks for being a good sport about it.

I get exactly what your telling, I am interested because to see how you tell it. I don't think every woman is on the hunt for something better. That would be what we call hypergamy. That actually can be set aside and is a different topic and interesting
in itself.

This one is about lizard brain attraction. When a woman puts out a sexy vibe that tells she likes men and she is not ugly any men on that channel will respond usually. The more experienced, let's call them players, will know what it is right away and size up the situation and decide if they can and want. It is a very different look than one from a guy that is simply wishing... When we see this look or directly notice the outbound vibe of the girl it physically affects us if we are high interest in the girl. If she is a plate, we might not care and even may not notice. More likely we don't care.

That vibe will continue until she must turn it off or lose a guy she really wants. It can be turned off, but as long as the man excepts it and believe your story that it is just how it is he will be ever so slowly broken down. Stronger men will last longer but even them. Only when and if a man walks that you really really want unless you turn it off, only then. But if the man CAN walk and will then he is not 100% to you. Women (and your one) shoot themself about this.

The only solution for this from the man's side is adding or keeping competition for the woman, how far and to what level is up to the man and what and how, I am sure that is a slippery slope. BTW this is exactly what you do to the man by not shutting of the I like men vibe and forcing his lizard brain to react. Doesn't matter who he is, he will react like that if he is serious about you.

It is a mindset, from the woman.



do you know you can shut it off, but just don't see the need? I mean if the guy treats you well, why would you change? Its the same thing the men do that cycles many women.

if you think I have it wrong, tell me why. it's not really about you personally it is about any women that behave the same, there are some in all places.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

This is interesting. Awhile back, there was talk on this forum about the three Ps of masculine behavior: Protect, Provide, and Procreate.
Basically these were three things women wanted in men: the ability to protect them, to provide for them, and be good in bed.

Guys here often would denigrate the "Provide" portion as being solely for betas, "BetaBux" and all that. But the "Protect" part was still seen as alpha because it suggested that you were strong, athletic, and capable as a fighter. In recent years however, I notice more guys are sliding the "Protect" portion over to the beta side as well. "If you're willing to protect her, then she will see you as a beta". IMO they are taking this beta stuff to the extreme here, because of course any woman wants to feel safe when she is with her man. There's nothing unsexy about that.

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

or maybe the difference is how you are affected by the jealous emotion

 

[metalwater]

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

or maybe the difference is how you are affected by the jealous emotion

experience. The first time of that emotion is going to be a mess and maybe violence uncontrolled. later when experienced, can choose to manage it. perhaps violence still, but by choice.

 

[zekko]

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

I wasn't speaking about jealousy, I was talking about a man being physically able to protect a woman. However, while we're on the subject:
Is an alpha lion going to tolerate a beta lion having sex with his females? It's probably going to happen while he's napping or distracted, but if he sees it, he's going to chase him off.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I wasn't speaking about jealousy, I was talking about a man being physically able to protect a woman. However, while we're on the subject:
Is an alpha lion going to tolerate a beta lion having sex with his females? It's probably going to happen while he's napping or distracted, but if he sees it, he's going to chase him off.

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

 

[Barrister]

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

The problem with the analogy is that humans aren't lions. THe only real similarity is some similar anatomy through the fact they are both mammals. As higher primates much more goes into banging someone than a simple "you have a vagina so I will sleep with you." With humans, it is a conscious decision backed up by a thought process to reach that point by both parties. For the lions, the male lion is only following instinct and the female must supplicate due to her inferior size and strength. There is no such thing as "jealousy" between two male lions -- just a matter of instinctual territory when it comes to breeding.

Trying to explain human lust through the lens of a male lion with his pride is trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

 

[PRW63]

BeExcellent said:
Advice from the old lady:

sounds like you date a lot of low value or insecure men ,atleast that’s what it looks like you’re projecting in this post.

You clearly didn't read her whole post.

 

[zekko]

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

Maybe, if the beta lion was just trying to bang her. I was thinking more of a case where a guy came up, punched her in her face, and stole her purse. But like catsmeow pointed out, there's also the territorial aspect. A guy trying to pick up your girl under your nose is being disrespectful to YOU. You can laugh at him or punch him in the nose, people react differently to these types of things.

 

[BeExcellent]

maybe..

thanks for being a good sport about it.

I get exactly what your telling, I am interested because to see how you tell it. I don't think every woman is on the hunt for something better. That would be what we call hypergamy. That actually can be set aside and is a different topic and interesting
in itself.

This one is about lizard brain attraction. When a woman puts out a sexy vibe that tells she likes men and she is not ugly any men on that channel will respond usually. The more experienced, let's call them players, will know what it is right away and size up the situation and decide if they can and want. It is a very different look than one from a guy that is simply wishing... When we see this look or directly notice the outbound vibe of the girl it physically affects us if we are high interest in the girl. If she is a plate, we might not care and even may not notice. More likely we don't care.

That vibe will continue until she must turn it off or lose a guy she really wants. It can be turned off, but as long as the man excepts it and believe your story that it is just how it is he will be ever so slowly broken down. Stronger men will last longer but even them. Only when and if a man walks that you really really want unless you turn it off, only then. But if the man CAN walk and will then he is not 100% to you. Women (and your one) shoot themself about this.

The only solution for this from the man's side is adding or keeping competition for the woman, how far and to what level is up to the man and what and how, I am sure that is a slippery slope. BTW this is exactly what you do to the man by not shutting of the I like men vibe and forcing his lizard brain to react. Doesn't matter who he is, he will react like that if he is serious about you.

It is a mindset, from the woman.



do you know you can shut it off, but just don't see the need? I mean if the guy treats you well, why would you change? Its the same thing the men do that cycles many women.

if you think I have it wrong, tell me why. it's not really about you personally it is about any women that behave the same, there are some in all places.

You are a good observer @metalwater about what I am saying regarding vibe. Yes a player/playboy type is going to recognize a woman with an allure, or sex appeal vibe immediately. Just as I recognize the player archetype immediately in a man. There is a kindred between the two because each immediately recognizes the other; they are on the same wavelength. Why would I “turn it off” as you say?

What you do not grasp is that there is no turning it off. It is as innate to me as my skin tone. It is part of who I am. Therefore I recognized long ago that I require a man who can handle me as I exist, if a man needs me to be someone else? That’s never going to work and he’s the wrong man.

You see I’m not going to lose a man I really want because I can’t turn it off. I won’t date men who cannot handle it in the first place.

The problem is that I am a siren. Every man *thinks* he wants a siren…for a siren has a maxxed appeal to most men. But few men can actually *handle* a siren day in and day out. That is the issue. Many men have egos or insecurities that simply become triggered when a woman who draws that kind of attention shows up. Again it’s like a flame. You can contain a flame but it’s still a flame. You cannot tell a flame to become something else. A flame has instrinsic characteristics that are unchanging or you no longer have a flame but rather something else altogether.

It’s like that. I can direct it, focus it, and contain it to a degree, but my essence is still who I am. It’s more organic, less stress and utterly authentic to simply be who I am and realize that not everyone is compatible with me; with my vibe. That’s Ok. I accepted that a long time ago once I realized what this was in myself (you see it was there before I knew in my youth what it was and/or how to handle it myself). Figuring that out was a process. Learning how to direct it and own it was a process. It’s part of me. I’d no more cut it off than I’d sever my left leg off.

But as you are seeing not everyone understands it. Not everyone can deal with it. The players/playboys can. My vibe is familiar to them for it mirrors their vibe; their wavelength.

But. A woman can exist just fine without succumbing to her desire nature. Restraint is the calling card of the siren. She dazzles many but is obtained by few. Whereas conquest is the calling card of the playboy. These two opposites hold intrigue for one another; polarity.

I know this. So I know who I am and who suitable men are.

Hopefully that explains things.

 

[BeExcellent]

Facepalm.

There is no dualistic mating strategy.

Why? Because I have everything I desire from the same man. I have always chosen men this way, and I admittedly am blessed in having the ability to choose desirable men who choose me. I do not go seeking attention. To be frank it is nice that I do not garner the same attention as I did when I was younger. It is something independent of my looks however and will exist even as I age. You see, positivity and charm is ageless.

My BF mate guards out of his own insecurities. Period. His own deep seated fear that he isn’t good enough to keep a woman like me.

Otherwise he wouldn’t tell everyone that it took him 30 years to find me. Otherwise he would see me as replaceable. He doesn’t see me as replaceable. I am not.

And you can go on and on about me thinking I’m special and so forth. I am. There are women who are rare. Men want to find one. When they do they want to keep her. I am that girl and I make no apologies about it.

And men see, know and observe very quickly that although I am charming and have a universal allure? My charms are reserved for my man. Period.

Enjoy your weekend gents. I have a birthday boy to spoil rotten this weekend

Cheers

 

[metalwater]

Facepalm.

There is no dualistic mating strategy.

Why? Because I have everything I desire from the same man. I have always chosen men this way, and I admittedly am blessed in having the ability to choose desirable men who choose me. I do not go seeking attention. To be frank it is nice that I do not garner the same attention as I did when I was younger. It is something independent of my looks however and will exist even as I age. You see, positivity and charm is ageless.

My BF mate guards out of his own insecurities. Period. His own deep seated fear that he isn’t good enough to keep a woman like me.

Otherwise he wouldn’t tell everyone that it took him 30 years to find me. Otherwise he would see me as replaceable. He doesn’t see me as replaceable. I am not.

And you can go on and on about me thinking I’m special and so forth. I am. There are women who are rare. Men want to find one. When they do they want to keep her. I am that girl and I make no apologies about it.

And men see, know and observe very quickly that although I am charming and have a universal allure? My charms are reserved for my man. Period.

Enjoy your weekend gents. I have a birthday boy to spoil rotten this weekend

Cheers

Its good; no? Your current man will not mate guard you if you turn it off. And is inner insecurity will slowly turn into only confidence. If he continues to mate guard you and you continue to have the dynamic you tell, time is limited. He does like you, maybe 100%... this breaks the player. The player is the player archetype or whatever because they in their own mind are not 100%. That is what the player is.

you are breaking him as per your own story. I believe you that it is not what you want to do. Your probably physically loyal for now.

love your comments.

 

[metalwater]

@metalwater I believe there is truth in what she says... She can't turn it off. As TheFinalLine stated very few woman can. There are some, but we will never find one in our lifetimes. To turn it off, is to turn off her dualistic sexual strategy. I think she is wrong about not succumbing to it. She will eventually. Otherwise she'd have the ability to turn the polarity vacuum off, or at least direct it at her significant other not causing him to mate guard.

I know. I do listen to what women say, as well as men that behave differently than I would support. I learn from them all. Very aware of truth vs fact.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Maybe, if the beta lion was just trying to bang her. I was thinking more of a case where a guy came up, punched her in her face, and stole her purse. But like catsmeow pointed out, there's also the territorial aspect. A guy trying to pick up your girl under your nose is being disrespectful to YOU. You can laugh at him or punch him in the nose, people react differently to these types of things.

Good points...
If the guy is coming at your girl then it’s not her fault , unless she asked for it somehow.
How would you handle a guy tryna pick up a girl under your nose?
All women are different with this situation , some would rather handle the situation themselves
Example : if a guy approached your girl while you were in the restroom,she would rather just shut him down , and try to discourage him as much as she can .
but obviously, if he tried to lock her up or flirt with her openly in your face this is a challenge and it’s not uncommon
I think she would expect you to do something of the other male wasn’t so discreet.

no doubt ,If someone wants to rob your girl or do physical harm to her, you have no business with her if you cannot physically protect her.