If She Dosen't Ask You Personal Questions

[Powerlifter]

I didn't get a chance to see her today she wasn't working and it will be Monday before I might see her again.

I wonder not seeing her over 10 days makes a difference when this happens? and how often should you see someone if it's mutual attraction to keep the fire burning?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I didn't get a chance to see her today she wasn't working and it will be Monday before I might see her again.

I wonder not seeing her over 10 days makes a difference when this happens? and how often should you see someone if it's mutual attraction to keep the fire burning?

Dude you need more prospects. You need at least three or four girls to talk to on a regular basis. You don't need to seduce them or even ask for their number, just get used to talking to different attractive girls on a regular basis.

Find a bunch of different coffee shops or restaurants with cute waitresses and become a regular or something.

If you think about her too much, next time you see her she'll smell your desperation from a mile away.

You want her thinking about you more than you are thinking about her. The only way to make sure that happens is to not think about her. The only way to make that happen is to think about other girls. The only way to make that happen is to talk to other girls on a regular basis.

That will do wonders for your self esteem and self confidence. No macking, only friendly conversation.

 

[Powerlifter]

Good advice I do need to do that.

Thanks

 

[Powerlifter]

OK today I stopped by there to see a good friend who works there.

I was sitting in the office chatting with my friend when she walked by she didn't look in toward where I was and I knew she could hear me and knew I was there. It didn't seem long after I was there that she walked by. When she walked by I noticed she put her head down as she walked by she didn't look mad or anything. I didn't try to chase her down and left shortly there after.

I have been doing what taiyuu otoko had suggested and find other women to chat with which seems to help not thinking about her as much and kills the desperation I might be projecting.

Anyway, whats your take on her walking by with her head down when usually she looks in and smiles?

 

[Romjuan]

sounds like shes lost the attraction and doesnt want to engage in to anything. someone with high interest would hve been anxious to see you after the long delay. i take her walking in with her head down as trying to avoid you so there is conversation. i think the best advice at this point would be what jophil always says.. if a girl pulls back, you pull twice as far back. if you see her do something ****y, like give her a wink but let her innitiate everything. move on and hopefully she chases for ur attention.

 

[Powerlifter]

Thanks Romjuan she didn't walk in like into where I was she walked by the door on her way down the hall.

sounds like shes lost the attraction and doesnt want to engage in to anything. someone with high interest would hve been anxious to see you after the long delay. i take her walking in with her head down as trying to avoid you so there is conversation. i think the best advice at this point would be what jophil always says.. if a girl pulls back, you pull twice as far back. if you see her do something ****y, like give her a wink but let her innitiate everything. move on and hopefully she chases for ur attention.

 

[jafyk]

Ok, this story reminds me about a woman I'm currently seeing. I feel like I already know what most of you guys would say but I'ill say it anyway. Basically, everything is great with us, she's interested I know this because of the way she looks at me, the texts of appreciation she sends to me, the cuddling, the kisses, bringing me food, not acting needy, good conversation although at times she could seem to go on and on, calling to set up dates (a few of which I have turned her down, others which I've accepted or initiated)
Well, the problem is that she doesn't want to do it till she gets married. A friend of mine who knows her tells me she's no virgin (even though she says otherwise) not sure who's telling truth (perhaps it doesn't matter) last night when we were making out and I tried to enter unexplored territories she stopped me. Even though she was at my place till close to 1am and I asked her to spend the night she refused. Earlier during one of our talks she shared her views on wanting to wait and not judging others if they want otherwise and that if it's going to be a problem maybe we can go our separate ways before we go in too deep. I am seeing other girls one of which I get S3x from but yet I feel no connection or attraction for her as I do with this most recent girl. Sure, I like sex but it's not something I need 3-4 times a week. The dilema is that some of the girls I've been active with in the past it just seemed to be mostly about sex and the ones I wanted more from didn't. So, I have this dilema, a girl that has so much of the qualities I want and no sex. I'm not mad at her people have their do's and don't's. Still, I wonder even if I do wait for this girl. There's no proof that sexually she'd be worth it (if as she claims that she's a 27 yrs old virgin). A lil insight that might help with ur response is that someday I want to find a girl marry and settle down I believe in that. I guess that's why I haven't nexted her already. I was like aargh! last nite when I was with her and this younger 21 yr/old is texting me that she's horny, lol. Ok, that's it I'm done. What'a a guy to do hear.

 

[Romjuan]

jafyk,
i dont mess around with virgins..nor would i date them. maybe shes a virgin maybe she isnt. doesnt matter. either way shes doesnt want to have sex now. your attraction to her may be caused by wanting to conquer the unknown. once you sex her you may not look at her the same way.. i guess my point is if you can date this girl without trying to have sex with her then do it. but trying to have sex with her when she is trying to praactice abstinance is wrong.

 

[Romjuan]

powerlifter,
i dont think it matters if she came into the room or not. she knew you were there nd didnt come to even say hello... high interest level would have wanted to greet. pull back.

 

[jafyk]

I actually think I can date her without the sex, since I have other ways to take care of that. I do get the feeling that eventually she'd want more. Maybe I should wait till I get to that bridge. I don't feel like we are in too much contact. We see each other about 2x/a week. The phone and text exchange is minimal. I have thought of pulling away but I feel like that would be me treating her harshly for my problem. I guess the other thing I wanted to know is from experience some of you might have had if she could be fronting. She sounds genuine to me. She even admits to having the sexual urges too.

 

[Powerlifter]

When you say pullback are you saying avoid ignore or don't see her at all?

I have actually thought about for the next few weeks not even go there and just call my friend to meet me elsewhere. My question is if I should completely avoid and or ignore her when is the time I am supposed to come around to see if it makes a difference or not this lady doesn't have my phone number but she knows I live in a wealthy neighorhood though?

I dig this lady but I can live without her and don't need her but dam I want her.

powerlifter,
i dont think it matters if she came into the room or not. she knew you were there nd didnt come to even say hello... high interest level would have wanted to greet. pull back.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

JAFYK, you've been dealing with this for almost 2 years by my count:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153158

The time to fish or cut bait has long since past, and you decided to cut bait.

That said, I'll repost you what I did then and we'll see how well you've learned or what else I could add:

Sex is the deal breaker, but in my pointing it out I run the risk of coming across as "shallow" or "superficial." It's important, but it shouldn't be that important, right? Wrong. It is THAT important. Sex is the glue that holds relationships together.

If you encountered a woman who fit every ideal you ever had for a relationship - best friend, loving, 100% loyal, excellent mother, came from a great family, perfect HB 10, healthy both mentally and physically, emotionally available, intellectually stimulating, shared all your beliefs - who loved you unconditionally and wanted to marry you, but with one caveat; he/she would NEVER have sex with you under any circumstances, would you marry this person? You could have children together through insemination and they would always be platonically affectionate with you; knowing full well before you did, and pledging to be completely faithful yourself, would you spend the rest of your life in a completely sexless marriage with an otherwise ideal person?

Remember this sexless state doesn't come after having had sex before (due to an injury or disability), it's a pre-condition for the relationship.

This is how important sex is. People tend to think of love as coming in different varieties and colors - platonic, fraternal, familial, erotic, agape, etc. All of this is nonsense. Love is love, it's how it's expressed that's different. I love my Mom, my brother, my best friend and my daughter, but I only ƒuck my wife - that's what makes us husband and wife. Sex can be an expression of love or it can be an act (recreation) - I happen to have enjoyed both versions in my lifetime - but it is a prerequisite for an intersexual relationship. It's time we all stopped deemphasizing the importance of sex and accept it for what it is. Every time we think we're taking some moral high-road by saying it's superficial or shallow to place such importance on sex, we only do a disservice to ourselves and our lovers. We're only screwing ourselves by thinking that we're in some way above sexuality in some lame self-delusion that stating so will make us more desirable and set us apart from the rest of the herd (who are also claiming to be above sex anyway). It IS that important, so start giving it the respect it deserves. You do yourself no favors by desexualizing yourself.


-----

That's from what I told you in October of 2008, what's changed since then? It sounds like a whole lot of nothing. Scratch that, it sounds like about 2 years of frustration. Essentially her message to you is marry me and you'll get laid. That's a hell of a proposition in light of your arrangement with her up to this point. If I were going to commit the rest of my life to a woman, I want to be damn well certain that her degree of passion for me borders on uncontrollable lust and desire. There's nothing that this woman has DONE to indicate that she has anything resembling that for you for the past 2 years.

NEXT.

 

[jafyk]

Ok, Rollo Ouch! ouch! I feel like you called me out but I see where you are coming from. Something you should know is that I've only been seeing this woman close to a month. I totally even forgot that I had asked you this question or something similar. I always did remember what you had just posted above (I guess not in it's detail) Some of the reasons she had given me besides her spiritual values were (Std, getting stuck with a child and the guy doesn't stick around) from here point of view I felt these were legit concerns so, I couldn't really argue with her on that. Your argument also makes sense. FYI when I first asked you that question almost 2 years ago, I wasn't in a LTR with anyone, I asked out of curiosity because I tend to have lots of questions in my mind about stuff. I have to run to class now but I will read this again more in depth.

 

[Powerlifter]

So this is the way it works I make a thread sharing my problem with a lady I am dealing with and looking for answers and then it takes a turn and ends up on someone elses woman and this is considered a Mature forum area.

Graping sack and saying the hell with it in the most mature fashion possible... I am through asking and will move on.

Peace

 

[Romjuan]

powerlifter, we are all here to help each other out. he should have started his own thread but anyway. with pulling back, i would not call her or see her for atleast 2 weeks. since she doesnt have your phone number it does make things tough. fter the 2 weeks maybe go visit your friend at a time you knbow she will see you and see how she responds with you there. make sure you are in a smiling mood and cracking jokes with your friend

 

[jafyk]

So this is the way it works I make a thread sharing my problem with a lady I am dealing with and looking for answers and then it takes a turn and ends up on someone elses woman and this is considered a Mature forum area.

Graping sack and saying the hell with it in the most mature fashion possible... I am through asking and will move on.

Peace

I'm sorry my man. I didn't feel that me writing something should necessarily stop people from giving their opinions for your situation. Sometimes, I make posts and no one even responds. I just figured I'd post something here since it was sorta related.

 

[Powerlifter]

After going back reading what Rollo wrote I believe his post was the attempt to kill 2 birds with one stone.

Thanks Rollo, I need to start early with showing sexual attraction with these women even if they are younger and not be pulling back thinking otherwise.

The thing is I know this but for the likes of me I have become wussy lately.

I already have had enough no more holding back and yes sex is important and it is the clue that holds relationships together that is if it's someone your sexually attracted to and want to bang as well as friendship.

Good post.

 

[jafyk]

Lol, Ok Monsieur Powerlifter, I hate to say this cos of how it would sound but I did personally send a message to Rollo to ask him to come to respond to this thread. I guess sometimes things just work out. I'm still expecting another feedback from him on my response to what he had to say and no, I don't want a cookie, lol, Powerlifter before you ask.

 

[Powerlifter]

Thanks Romjuan, good point it's all cool now and thanks for the answer which is exactly what I am doing. In the mean time I am going to start another thread on another lady I talked with today and get some replies if I did the right thing.

Again thanks

powerlifter, we are all here to help each other out. he should have started his own thread but anyway. with pulling back, i would not call her or see her for atleast 2 weeks. since she doesnt have your phone number it does make things tough. fter the 2 weeks maybe go visit your friend at a time you knbow she will see you and see how she responds with you there. make sure you are in a smiling mood and cracking jokes with your friend

 

[FrankieFunkinGamble]

Dude you need more prospects. You need at least three or four girls to talk to on a regular basis. You don't need to seduce them or even ask for their number, just get used to talking to different attractive girls on a regular basis.

Find a bunch of different coffee shops or restaurants with cute waitresses and become a regular or something.

If you think about her too much, next time you see her she'll smell your desperation from a mile away.

You want her thinking about you more than you are thinking about her. The only way to make sure that happens is to not think about her. The only way to make that happen is to think about other girls. The only way to make that happen is to talk to other girls on a regular basis.

That will do wonders for your self esteem and self confidence. No macking, only friendly conversation.

This is excellent advice.