JAFYK, you've been dealing with this for almost 2 years by my count:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153158
The time to fish or cut bait has long since past, and you decided to cut bait.
That said, I'll repost you what I did then and we'll see how well you've learned or what else I could add:
Sex is the deal breaker, but in my pointing it out I run the risk of coming across as "shallow" or "superficial." It's important, but it shouldn't be that important, right? Wrong. It is
THAT important.
Sex is the glue that holds relationships together.
If you encountered a woman who fit every ideal you ever had for a relationship - best friend, loving, 100% loyal, excellent mother, came from a great family, perfect HB 10, healthy both mentally and physically, emotionally available, intellectually stimulating, shared all your beliefs - who loved you unconditionally and wanted to marry you, but with one caveat; he/she would NEVER have sex with you under any circumstances, would you marry this person? You could have children together through insemination and they would always be platonically affectionate with you; knowing full well before you did, and pledging to be completely faithful yourself, would you spend the rest of your life in a completely sexless marriage with an otherwise ideal person?
Remember this sexless state doesn't come after having had sex before (due to an injury or disability), it's a pre-condition for the relationship.
This is how important sex is. People tend to think of love as coming in different varieties and colors - platonic, fraternal, familial, erotic, agape, etc. All of this is nonsense. Love is love, it's how it's expressed that's different. I love my Mom, my brother, my best friend and my daughter, but I only ƒuck my wife - that's what makes us husband and wife. Sex can be an expression of love or it can be an act (recreation) - I happen to have enjoyed both versions in my lifetime - but it is a prerequisite for an intersexual relationship. It's time we all stopped deemphasizing the importance of sex and accept it for what it is. Every time we think we're taking some moral high-road by saying it's superficial or shallow to place such importance on sex, we only do a disservice to ourselves and our lovers. We're only screwing ourselves by thinking that we're in some way above sexuality in some lame self-delusion that stating so will make us more desirable and set us apart from the rest of the herd (who are also claiming to be above sex anyway). It IS that important, so start giving it the respect it deserves. You do yourself no favors by desexualizing yourself.
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That's from what I told you in October of 2008, what's changed since then? It sounds like a whole lot of nothing. Scratch that, it sounds like about 2 years of frustration. Essentially her message to you is marry me and you'll get laid. That's a hell of a proposition in light of your arrangement with her up to this point. If I were going to commit the rest of my life to a woman, I want to be damn well certain that her degree of passion for me borders on uncontrollable lust and desire. There's nothing that this woman has DONE to indicate that she has anything resembling that for you for the past 2 years.
NEXT.
