If a girl's not attracted to you, do you have no chance?
- Thread starter bobbob
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Dukester
Master Don Juan
actually, i agree w/ you.
no matter how good you are, if she isnt attracted to you, there isnt anything you can do about it.
you're just not her type, so next....
then again, the occasional girl might change herself for you, b/c at 1st she didnt find you attractive, but after u DJ'd her she did.
IMO i think DJ'ing a girl who isnt attracted to you is a waste of time, unless you just wanna make friends w/ her
no matter how good you are, if she isnt attracted to you, there isnt anything you can do about it.
you're just not her type, so next....
then again, the occasional girl might change herself for you, b/c at 1st she didnt find you attractive, but after u DJ'd her she did.
IMO i think DJ'ing a girl who isnt attracted to you is a waste of time, unless you just wanna make friends w/ her
MRomeo99
Don Juan
If you know how to play the game correctly, you will cause attraction by who you are, and how you come across. The truth is they won't have a chance.
And the whole "DJ" experience is about increasing attraction, thus increasing your "chance". So, your question misses the point. The whole point of being a DJ is increasing attraction, thus giving you more of a chance.
However, I think you may be confused about whether she finds you physically attractive vs total attraction. While physical attraction is only a small part of the whole piece. There are many other components to "attraction"
HTH,
M
And the whole "DJ" experience is about increasing attraction, thus increasing your "chance". So, your question misses the point. The whole point of being a DJ is increasing attraction, thus giving you more of a chance.
However, I think you may be confused about whether she finds you physically attractive vs total attraction. While physical attraction is only a small part of the whole piece. There are many other components to "attraction"
HTH,
M
"If you know how to play the game correctly, you will cause attraction by who you are, and how you come across. The truth is they won't have a chance. "
Bull****, if she doesn't have any form of attraction to you then there are pretty much nothing you can do about it. Having no attraction means she is repulsed by you. If she lowers or hightens her standards because she is horny or desperate then she might feel an attraction, but she already must have some form of it.
Bull****, if she doesn't have any form of attraction to you then there are pretty much nothing you can do about it. Having no attraction means she is repulsed by you. If she lowers or hightens her standards because she is horny or desperate then she might feel an attraction, but she already must have some form of it.
MrBond_Age
Don Juan
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The basic 4 rules to attract:
1- Physical power (how strong/good you look)
2- Monetary power (how rich you look)
3- Mental power (being smart and charismatic)
4- Friends power (how much people think you are great)
1- Physical power (how strong/good you look)
2- Monetary power (how rich you look)
3- Mental power (being smart and charismatic)
4- Friends power (how much people think you are great)
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
There are women out there who are more carnal than the average woman who merit that initial chemistry between two people. Unless that is there, your chances of anything other than friendship is ZERO.
MRomeo is a little off base about the attraction thing. Being a DJ doesn't directly increase their attraction to you, it actually makes YOU more attractive which in turn MAY make them more attracted to you.
MRomeo's theory is based more on the mindset of Ross Jefferies and Speed Seduction where you are changing the views of the other person. DJ skills are your own in that they are how you change yourself.
So back to your question, I'm agreeing with Dukester in that if the attraction isn't there, there isn't anything you can do about it. Consider this, suppose you meet a woman that is funny, intelligent, personable, giving and gives good head, unfortunately she's a 'bag hag.' She has all these great qualities but you could not consider being with her even if you wore a bag too just in case hers fell off. What could she do to make you TRULY attracted to HER and not what she does or what she gives you? More than likely it can't happen....
MRomeo is a little off base about the attraction thing. Being a DJ doesn't directly increase their attraction to you, it actually makes YOU more attractive which in turn MAY make them more attracted to you.
MRomeo's theory is based more on the mindset of Ross Jefferies and Speed Seduction where you are changing the views of the other person. DJ skills are your own in that they are how you change yourself.
So back to your question, I'm agreeing with Dukester in that if the attraction isn't there, there isn't anything you can do about it. Consider this, suppose you meet a woman that is funny, intelligent, personable, giving and gives good head, unfortunately she's a 'bag hag.' She has all these great qualities but you could not consider being with her even if you wore a bag too just in case hers fell off. What could she do to make you TRULY attracted to HER and not what she does or what she gives you? More than likely it can't happen....
MRomeo99
Don Juan
ROFL. So, I guess the numerous times we've seen ugly guys with Hot chicks, they were paying for them?
Read what I wrote again. I said attraction isn't about physical attraction. Attraction is many things put together.
1. Physical attraction.
2. Body Language.
3. Social Proof.
4. Conversational Skills
5. Humor
6. Confidence or Brass Balls factor
I'm saying that being a DJ isn't about using your physical attraction to get you in the door, Being a DJ is about increasing your attraction in every area of your life. INCLUDING your physical attraction, ie working out, better clothes, haircut, skin, etc. Keeping eye contact, with better body language. Increasing your skills of conversation in particular your C&F skills.
Relax son, and take the time to actually read a post before you get your panties in a wad.
M
A average guy can make a girl feel attraction if he has an aura of masculinity and dominance. So the girl can surrender to him. I haven't argued against it.
However, if that sense of masculinity and dominance ins't there then all those DJ traits of yours are worthless. It's like when a sperm whale (or a woman who has different amount of femininty than you have masculinity) hit on you, she may be funny, she may have a great personality or confidence, whatever. It won't do you NO good because there are no inital attraction.
However, if that sense of masculinity and dominance ins't there then all those DJ traits of yours are worthless. It's like when a sperm whale (or a woman who has different amount of femininty than you have masculinity) hit on you, she may be funny, she may have a great personality or confidence, whatever. It won't do you NO good because there are no inital attraction.
MRomeo99
Don Juan
Now you're trying to equate what attracts a man as the same as what attracts a woman. They are nothing alike. Women are attracted to men, totally different than men are attracted to women. Look at the post by seebreeze in another post, She'd rather fvck Billy Bob Thornton than Brad Pitt.
Explain to me how you're going to exhude a sense of masculinity and dominance with none of the traits I have talked about? Alpha male is usually brought about by body language and social proof, and to a lesser extent physical attributes and social conversation skills.
Now, I'm not here to be "right". What I've tried to say from the get go, is don't think your initial attraction is what is going to pull women. It's much more than that. Very few women, are going to look at a guy, and think he's hot, I want him, I want him to do me right now. Most guys however do work that way. However, if you can interact with a woman in a way that presses all her right buttons then you can increase the attraction.
The original question was "If she's not attracted, you can't DJ her."
If you are sparking no attraction whatsoever, then you're right. But, if you have the right body language, tonality, social proof, you hit the right buttons for her emotionally, you make her feel like no one else, then she won't have a choice but to be attracted. That is what being a DJ is. It's not about having attraction and then using DJ skills to lay her/relationship, etc. It's about using the things you learn here to naturally attract her in a way that is irresistible.
I hope that this is clear. Physical attractiveness DOES NOT equal the sum of attraction.
M
The original question is too vague. A girl must be physically attracted to you for a succesful relationship, but this doesn't mean the best looking guy always wins.
I'm sure at some point, most of us have been attracted to a girl who was maybe only average looking, but had other characteristics that made up for it, and subsequently raised our overall attraction to her. It works the same way with women.
I'm sure at some point, most of us have been attracted to a girl who was maybe only average looking, but had other characteristics that made up for it, and subsequently raised our overall attraction to her. It works the same way with women.
"Now you're trying to equate what attracts a man as the same as what attracts a woman. They are nothing alike. Women are attracted to men, totally different than men are attracted to women. Look at the post by seebreeze in another post, She'd rather fvck Billy Bob Thornton than Brad Pitt."
Women are attracted the exact same way as men, they just become turned on by different thing. Masculinity instead of femininty.
"Explain to me how you're going to exhude a sense of masculinity and dominance with none of the traits I have talked about? Alpha male is usually brought about by body language and social proof, and to a lesser extent physical attributes and social conversation skills."
I'm so tired of this alpha male ****. Your masculinity is projected from your skin, you look masculine or you don't. You can have whatever posture you want, sitting at a desk and working, but you still look male and you still turn women on exactly the same as a feminine woman turn you on without you noticing her social proof, convo skills, etc... This is natural attraction and it is the base of everything. Being masculine has very little to do with who you are, but instead what you are. Full Attraction you speak about has those traits you name incorporated in it.
"Now, I'm not here to be "right". What I've tried to say from the get go, is don't think your initial attraction is what is going to pull women. It's much more than that. Very few women, are going to look at a guy, and think he's hot, I want him, I want him to do me right now. Most guys however do work that way. However, if you can interact with a woman in a way that presses all her right buttons then you can increase the attraction.
Yeah, but attraction and going for sex are different things, of course women are more picky and anti after all years of social programming. They do feel it in the same way.
The original question was "If she's not attracted, you can't DJ her."
"If you are sparking no attraction whatsoever, then you're right. But, if you have the right body language, tonality, social proof, you hit the right buttons for her emotionally, you make her feel like no one else, then she won't have a choice but to be attracted. That is what being a DJ is. It's not about having attraction and then using DJ skills to lay her/relationship, etc. It's about using the things you learn here to naturally attract her in a way that is irresistible."
I'm not a big fan o techniques. If she feels inital attraction then there are few things you can do wrong. You don't need all these techniques.
"I hope that this is clear. Physical attractiveness DOES NOT equal the sum of attraction. "
I understand your point on this.
M
Women are attracted the exact same way as men, they just become turned on by different thing. Masculinity instead of femininty.
"Explain to me how you're going to exhude a sense of masculinity and dominance with none of the traits I have talked about? Alpha male is usually brought about by body language and social proof, and to a lesser extent physical attributes and social conversation skills."
I'm so tired of this alpha male ****. Your masculinity is projected from your skin, you look masculine or you don't. You can have whatever posture you want, sitting at a desk and working, but you still look male and you still turn women on exactly the same as a feminine woman turn you on without you noticing her social proof, convo skills, etc... This is natural attraction and it is the base of everything. Being masculine has very little to do with who you are, but instead what you are. Full Attraction you speak about has those traits you name incorporated in it.
"Now, I'm not here to be "right". What I've tried to say from the get go, is don't think your initial attraction is what is going to pull women. It's much more than that. Very few women, are going to look at a guy, and think he's hot, I want him, I want him to do me right now. Most guys however do work that way. However, if you can interact with a woman in a way that presses all her right buttons then you can increase the attraction.
Yeah, but attraction and going for sex are different things, of course women are more picky and anti after all years of social programming. They do feel it in the same way.
The original question was "If she's not attracted, you can't DJ her."
"If you are sparking no attraction whatsoever, then you're right. But, if you have the right body language, tonality, social proof, you hit the right buttons for her emotionally, you make her feel like no one else, then she won't have a choice but to be attracted. That is what being a DJ is. It's not about having attraction and then using DJ skills to lay her/relationship, etc. It's about using the things you learn here to naturally attract her in a way that is irresistible."
I'm not a big fan o techniques. If she feels inital attraction then there are few things you can do wrong. You don't need all these techniques.
"I hope that this is clear. Physical attractiveness DOES NOT equal the sum of attraction. "
I understand your point on this.
M
The TallOne
Don Juan
I am a believer in Dangelo's "Attraction is not a choice."
Ever see a girl that sticks with a guy even when all her friends/parents tell her not to? You think she can help the attraction being created?
I think you can do somethings to create attraction.. but if her sub-concious doesn't pick up on it/just doesn't connect, then, no amount of gift buying/call making will change her.
I think that DJing is not getting the girls, per say. DJing is becoming the best person you can be. Once you raise the standards in yourself, you'll be a bigger magnet to girls then you'll ever be.
Ever see a girl that sticks with a guy even when all her friends/parents tell her not to? You think she can help the attraction being created?
I think you can do somethings to create attraction.. but if her sub-concious doesn't pick up on it/just doesn't connect, then, no amount of gift buying/call making will change her.
I think that DJing is not getting the girls, per say. DJing is becoming the best person you can be. Once you raise the standards in yourself, you'll be a bigger magnet to girls then you'll ever be.
And I absolutely agree! If she is not attracted to you, the most viable way of changing that is to change yourself.
Persistence with a woman who has expressed a lack of attraction is a sure way to lose your dignity.
MRomeo99
Don Juan
No, actually they are not. Try studying psychology. Try talking to women about what guys they have been attracted to, and don't take the first thing they answer but drill down to what they really liked. Guys are attracted probably 80% looks, and the other 20% personality and other things. However, if the girl falls below a 5 on our scale. Almost no amount of alcohol can overcome. What turns us on and off, is to a large extent visual. If she's a warpig, doesn't matter if she has the best of everything else going for her, it's just not happening. However with women, it's probably closer to 30-40% visual, and the rest is the other things I have mentioned. I have had some friends who were down right UGLY who could pull chicks, but they had an awesome attitude and were a blast to be around.
Your masculinity is projected from your skin. Hmmm... that's interesting. So, if I walk over, hunched over, looking straight at the ground, shuffling my feet, but my skin is great, then I'm masculine? Give me a break. Being masculine/alpha whatever you want to call it has EVERYTHING to do with who you are, not what you are. Because I have a **** and balls doesn't mean that I'm ultra-masculine. If I limp-wrist when I talk, it's not going to make me masculine either. You are a man, by the way you act, the way you stand, the way you talk, the way you enter a room, the way you maintain eye contact, etc. Not with some elusive quality of "what you are" or your skin.
I'm going to have to say that once again you're wrong, men and women are attracted in totally different ways. Believe it's true at your own risk.
What techniques did I talk about? Being a better person is not a technique, it's a lifestyle. I'm not talking about running patterns or any of that crap. I'm talking about making yourself more attractive. Improving your body language. Looking at people more directly. Being conscious of any mannerisms that aren't attractive. Walking and moving slower. The only technique I do approve of is ****y and funny, but that's mostly because it's a blast and it does happen to work. But, once again, once you get good at it, it's not really a technique it's really about who you are. Which leads to another thought. When you first start to learn to DJ, all of these things that you learn may seem like techniques, but after a while they really become who you are. There are techniques to increase your confidence, but after your confidence is higher, is it still a technique or are you actually more confident? I think that goes for much of what is taught here. ****y and funny is a way to talk to women that increases attraction, after a while it becomes who you are.
Just my thoughts on the idea, I'm open to being wrong.
M
MrBond_Age
Don Juan
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Its hilarious how ugly people tend to justify themselves by giving % of how much a gender cares about looks.
Reality is that if you are ugly you only qualify for second or third grade girls.
Reality is that if you are ugly you only qualify for second or third grade girls.
"No, actually they are not. Try studying psychology. Try talking to women about what guys they have been attracted to, and don't take the first thing they answer but drill down to what they really liked. Guys are attracted probably 80% looks, and the other 20% personality and other things. However, if the girl falls below a 5 on our scale. Almost no amount of alcohol can overcome. What turns us on and off, is to a large extent visual. If she's a warpig, doesn't matter if she has the best of everything else going for her, it's just not happening. However with women, it's probably closer to 30-40% visual, and the rest is the other things I have mentioned. I have had some friends who were down right UGLY who could pull chicks, but they had an awesome attitude and were a blast to be around."
That's pure bull****. When you see a girl walk into a room, you know if you want to **** her or not, women respond the exact same way. This is from my own experience even if I haven't studied all the psycology that's available. Women are visual, they go for the visual, they are superficial too. Just by bulking I have noted extreme difference in women checking me out, the response too. This without ME doing anything so it has to be visual.
"Your masculinity is projected from your skin. Hmmm... that's interesting. So, if I walk over, hunched over, looking straight at the ground, shuffling my feet, but my skin is great, then I'm masculine? Give me a break. Being masculine/alpha whatever you want to call it has EVERYTHING to do with who you are, not what you are. Because I have a **** and balls doesn't mean that I'm ultra-masculine. If I limp-wrist when I talk, it's not going to make me masculine either. You are a man, by the way you act, the way you stand, the way you talk, the way you enter a room, the way you maintain eye contact, etc. Not with some elusive quality of "what you are" or your skin."
Masculine and alpha is not the same thing. The manliness is not found in your way of walking. If a girl who have very feminine traits would walk like that you would still probably feel a desire to **** her, even with low confidence, think tyler durdens *****. Masculinity and femininty is what we are, not what we do. If you don't agree then there are no point discussing anymore.
"I'm going to have to say that once again you're wrong, men and women are attracted in totally different ways. Believe it's true at your own risk."
Hell no they aren't, have you actually had girls saying when they are drunk... "I wanna ****?", they are as horny, they are as superficial as we are, but they hide it.
What techniques did I talk about? Being a better person is not a technique, it's a lifestyle. I'm not talking about running patterns or any of that crap. I'm talking about making yourself more attractive. Improving your body language. Looking at people more directly. Being conscious of any mannerisms that aren't attractive. Walking and moving slower. The only technique I do approve of is ****y and funny, but that's mostly because it's a blast and it does happen to work. But, once again, once you get good at it, it's not really a technique it's really about who you are. Which leads to another thought. When you first start to learn to DJ, all of these things that you learn may seem like techniques, but after a while they really become who you are. There are techniques to increase your confidence, but after your confidence is higher, is it still a technique or are you actually more confident? I think that goes for much of what is taught here. ****y and funny is a way to talk to women that increases attraction, after a while it becomes who you are.
I agree with you, it's a lifestyle. And C&F that's fun, I am just abandoning it.
Just my thoughts on the idea, I'm open to being wrong.
M
That's pure bull****. When you see a girl walk into a room, you know if you want to **** her or not, women respond the exact same way. This is from my own experience even if I haven't studied all the psycology that's available. Women are visual, they go for the visual, they are superficial too. Just by bulking I have noted extreme difference in women checking me out, the response too. This without ME doing anything so it has to be visual.
"Your masculinity is projected from your skin. Hmmm... that's interesting. So, if I walk over, hunched over, looking straight at the ground, shuffling my feet, but my skin is great, then I'm masculine? Give me a break. Being masculine/alpha whatever you want to call it has EVERYTHING to do with who you are, not what you are. Because I have a **** and balls doesn't mean that I'm ultra-masculine. If I limp-wrist when I talk, it's not going to make me masculine either. You are a man, by the way you act, the way you stand, the way you talk, the way you enter a room, the way you maintain eye contact, etc. Not with some elusive quality of "what you are" or your skin."
Masculine and alpha is not the same thing. The manliness is not found in your way of walking. If a girl who have very feminine traits would walk like that you would still probably feel a desire to **** her, even with low confidence, think tyler durdens *****. Masculinity and femininty is what we are, not what we do. If you don't agree then there are no point discussing anymore.
"I'm going to have to say that once again you're wrong, men and women are attracted in totally different ways. Believe it's true at your own risk."
Hell no they aren't, have you actually had girls saying when they are drunk... "I wanna ****?", they are as horny, they are as superficial as we are, but they hide it.
What techniques did I talk about? Being a better person is not a technique, it's a lifestyle. I'm not talking about running patterns or any of that crap. I'm talking about making yourself more attractive. Improving your body language. Looking at people more directly. Being conscious of any mannerisms that aren't attractive. Walking and moving slower. The only technique I do approve of is ****y and funny, but that's mostly because it's a blast and it does happen to work. But, once again, once you get good at it, it's not really a technique it's really about who you are. Which leads to another thought. When you first start to learn to DJ, all of these things that you learn may seem like techniques, but after a while they really become who you are. There are techniques to increase your confidence, but after your confidence is higher, is it still a technique or are you actually more confident? I think that goes for much of what is taught here. ****y and funny is a way to talk to women that increases attraction, after a while it becomes who you are.
I agree with you, it's a lifestyle. And C&F that's fun, I am just abandoning it.
Just my thoughts on the idea, I'm open to being wrong.
M
MrBond_Age
Don Juan
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Its my major.
A few points:
Ugly girls will never be saught after.
Ugly guys will never be saught after, but if their game is SUPER TIGHT they can get any piece of ass. However, due to their looks, they will rarely be able to cause jealousy in groups of girls, thus lowering their market value.
Good looking girls will always be saught after...of course, this makes them ****y and stuck up. Leave it to us guys to be unable to hold indifference.....
Good looking guys dont usually know theyre good looking, but they are saught after and can cause jealousy within groups of girls, thus increasing their market value. These men, when VS a less attractive man, have to have tight game too....there are tons of muscleheads who cant score a girl.
To emphasize a point, muscles do not equal good looking. If a guy cant pick up a girl without muscles but can with them, it can be concluded that he doesn' t have much in the face department....sure girls will go for a butterface...so do guys!
With guys, there are many different facets of what's considered good looking.
With girls, there is really only one......low but healthy fat level, symmetrical face with long hair, large yet proportional breasts, and a high ass. Anything else is considered less attractive.
Ugly girls will never be saught after.
Ugly guys will never be saught after, but if their game is SUPER TIGHT they can get any piece of ass. However, due to their looks, they will rarely be able to cause jealousy in groups of girls, thus lowering their market value.
Good looking girls will always be saught after...of course, this makes them ****y and stuck up. Leave it to us guys to be unable to hold indifference.....
Good looking guys dont usually know theyre good looking, but they are saught after and can cause jealousy within groups of girls, thus increasing their market value. These men, when VS a less attractive man, have to have tight game too....there are tons of muscleheads who cant score a girl.
To emphasize a point, muscles do not equal good looking. If a guy cant pick up a girl without muscles but can with them, it can be concluded that he doesn' t have much in the face department....sure girls will go for a butterface...so do guys!
With guys, there are many different facets of what's considered good looking.
With girls, there is really only one......low but healthy fat level, symmetrical face with long hair, large yet proportional breasts, and a high ass. Anything else is considered less attractive.
The reason I asked is, most people have the requisite looks that they can become a DJ ... if you DON'T have the looks, are pretty much screwed? I know I don't have the look that 100% of the hot girls here go for (i.e. white, not skinny, all-american looking, etc.). I've done cold approaches, gone to clubs, bars, everything, no dice. I have no problem making eye contact, I usually keep my composure. I don't slouch, I walk tall, arch my shoulders back. I could definitely improve on the C&F, although when the moment you go up to a girl she already looks like she's looking for a way to end the convo, I don't think C&F is going to help much in that situation.
I don't know what to do, I keep trying but not seeing any results. After years of not making any progress, part of me is thinking that this is a waste of time, and I should forget it and move on with the rest of my life.
Some people say just hook up with an HB3 ... I don't even know what the hell an HB3 means ... doesn't the HB stand for Hot Babe? How is she hot if she's a 3? I don't want to date a girl I'm not even attracted to at all.
Maybe DJing only works for if you got the look. For others, maybe the only chance is to make a ****load of money, or get jacked up on roids. I don't know
I don't know what to do, I keep trying but not seeing any results. After years of not making any progress, part of me is thinking that this is a waste of time, and I should forget it and move on with the rest of my life.
Some people say just hook up with an HB3 ... I don't even know what the hell an HB3 means ... doesn't the HB stand for Hot Babe? How is she hot if she's a 3? I don't want to date a girl I'm not even attracted to at all.
Maybe DJing only works for if you got the look. For others, maybe the only chance is to make a ****load of money, or get jacked up on roids. I don't know
MRomeo99
Don Juan
Lifeforce: Sorry bud, women do not feel attraction the same way guys do. It's a nice theory but doesn't hold up in the real world. There have been books and studies written about it, and your theory that we are exactly alike just doesn't hold water. There's a reason why Gray has sold millions of Mars/Venus books. Not to mention your incoherent thoughts on how masculinity is displayed.
bobbob: Good looks aren't everything. Definitely helpful. But, they are not the beginning and the end. Do what you can to get them better. But, in the long run, if you're not attractive physically, you have to work on your other attributes. Personality, confidence, conversation skills. The best hint I can give is just be a really fun, and interesting person to be around. It's the best way to assure success.
bobbob: Good looks aren't everything. Definitely helpful. But, they are not the beginning and the end. Do what you can to get them better. But, in the long run, if you're not attractive physically, you have to work on your other attributes. Personality, confidence, conversation skills. The best hint I can give is just be a really fun, and interesting person to be around. It's the best way to assure success.