If a girl banged another dude after you but came back

[Nutz]

I am going to have to go counter with the others. At least, if you consider her for any kind of relationship.

These are the actions of a h0r. She should be treated as such. Sex but no relationship.

These are her actions in a nutshell....

1. Girl sleeps with you.
2. Decides you are not worth commiting to.
3. Girls sleeps with other men.
4. Repeat step 3 god knows how many times.
5. Girl comes back to you ready to "settle down".

This. Absolutely this!

I tend to agree with this. Mostly because at 38 years old, I've decided I don't want to get married, I don't want children, and my philosophy is to really just enjoy the moment without any 'labels' on my interactions with women.

However, each situation is different. If I was younger, and looking for a wife/mother of my children, I would not go backwards with a gal this way. To me, it symbolizes that she would settle for me, I would be a second pick to the other guy she got involved with, something to fall back on for security.

If, and only if, I wanted to get married and make a life commitment. I would have to know 100% that I was the #1 guy. The best of the best in her eyes.

I do realize that's some ego talking. Like I said, I've learned through age to ditch that ego and just enjoy women for who they are. In that sense, life is great.

I can relate to the younger guys who want to start a family though. For them, you need to be very careful who you choose to make that commitment with. I would, for them, see a big red flag.

Reminds me of the alpha widow stuff that's coming to light (h/t RT). They go out, get banged, have this deep emotional thing for some alpha, but it doesn't work out and then they end up with you while secretly craving that alpha she can't get out of their system. Don't be that beta guy, be the alpha they crave the rest of their lives.

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/

Alpha Widows

Now before I get run up the flagpole here, I’m completely aware of the studies indicating a woman’s capacity to bond monogamously is inversely proportionate to the number of sexual partners she’s experienced prior to monogamy. I wont argue the merit of that concept, but I also don’t think that it fully encompasses the dynamic. I say this because, as Katy Perry so adequately illustrated recently, even ONE prior lover (or even unrequited obsession) can be Alpha enough to upset that bonded monogamous balance. These are the Alpha Widows – women so significantly impacted by a former Alpha (or perceptually so) lover that she’s left with an emotional imprint that even the most dutiful, loving beta-provider can never compete with. A woman doesn’t have to have been an archetypal slut in order to have difficulty in pair bonded monogamy.

So again I’ll ask, how many is too many? For an Alpha Widow, one’s enough. It’s my contention that the Slut Paradox isn’t a numbers game so much as it’s an Alpha impact game. What if your new partner has only banged a mere 2 men before you, but engaged in intense sexual experiences she feels self-conscious about doing with you? Is she a slut?

Another example:

http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-college-boyfriend/

 

[Slickster]

i'm not really seeing the issue with this.

on a forum where we preach plate spinning, lol, you are going to get mad at a woman for spinning plates? seriously? that's the definition of beta.

Most of our problems with women is because of our ego. The real issue here, is that she hurt your ego. she had a taste of you, and went back to basket robbins for another flavor.


I... I just don't get this mindset at all. whatsoever. first and foremost, if you are going to throw a hissy fit because she had sex with another guy that tells me that you have already pegged this woman as a LTR in your head. which tells me that you have somewhat already developed oneitis to an extent. which means you didn't go into the relationship with an open min in the first place. Which means you aren't exhibiting DJish qualities.


again, we are making sex a moral issue and it's not a moral issue. the woman was horny. she chose to fvck someone else. I fvcked between 4-6 women AFTER i met my wife and she knew about each and every one of them, she didn't like it but she knew about them and i told her look you want me to stop fvcking other women, step up to the plate and give me a reason not to.

Of course every situation has it's very own unique set of circumstances, but the idea of a woman sleeping with another man does nothing to me, because i'm doing the same thing more times than not. I know for a fact my wife slept with someone after i met her.


And let's say you go on 3 dates with a girl, and you find out between the 2nd and 3rd date, she slept with an old friend of hers. you are going to dump her becuase you ahven't built up enough value in her mind? t hat's the sillist crock of **** i have ever heard. youp know what, it's not even silly it's a deflection technique becuase you are deflecting your lack of game on her by calling her a *****. even with that said, to expect a woman to just not F a guy because you went on a date, is silly.

some women may never ever get past the take out half fun screw stage, but still it's a valuable plate. lol, every meal on your plates does not he to be filet mignon. you can sprinkle some hardees in there too lol. plates give you something to do, gives you practice with the opposite sex, lets you practice having sex, etc. you don't get experienc e by trying to peg every woman you met into a wiffe.


I will also add, a woman will f another man to make you commit. most women know they have one real commodity, and if she really wants you to commit and you won't, i assure you she's going to F someone else.. just to let you get the sniff of her leaving. the l ast GF I had before I met my wife, she made it known to me, she was Fing her EX bF, and she did so for no other reason than to get me to stop messing around with other women. she wanted me to commit so she used the only card she really had, Fing her X. when that clearly didn't work, she was puddy in my hand, because at that point she simply was out of cards, and didn't know what to do. So what did she do? whatever I told her to do. She wanted me and had no clue as how to get me to settle down with her. She'd tried "calling me out", she tried flirting with other guys, she tried f'ing my brains out, she finally tried letting someone else get some and let me know about it and none of it work. now what. By "work" I simply mean, getting me to commit to her on her time table and on her terms. I won't go into a relationship unless it's 100% on my terms, because that's the only way it will work.

It was only after that, that I broke her down to the point where I got her to where I wanted her to consider her a seriously LTR, fully committed to me. only then did i cut out the plates. To where I knew she would sit her ass down and be a good 'little girl, and i will be damned if we didn't date for a year, which at the time was by far the longest relationship I had ever been in.

Just about every woman that I dated since i have been grown, and practiced the concept of plate spinning, has had sex with someone else in a last ditch effort to get me to "break my true feelings". They do it becuase it works with 99% of the men out there. Think of it as going up against King Koopa before finally getting to rescue the princess. it's the mother of all **** test. are you going to stand true to your "principles" when you find out I am letting another man have this prime piece of ass?

I am not trying to be a jerk but this line of thinking.. if i fvked you and we aren't dating, and i have the feel will to fvck someone else, and i don't take it, yet you do, than you are a ***** not worth dating.. GTFO out with that crap. this is big boy world and big boy's can deal with women having sexual relations with another man without blowing a gasket.

Sorry backbreaker but this and your 2nd post are probably the two worst pieces of advice I have ever read on this forum.

If you really are the "plate spinner" that you claim to be then I have no doubt that this philosophy may indeed work for you.

However you have been here long enough to know that 99% of the guys who frequent this site will never reach this level of proficiency with women.

A Don Juan spins plates because HE IS THE PRIZE. He gets to have his cake and eat it too because he is that prize. He doesn't waste time with a plate spinning woman because it automatically places him in a beta position where she is the prize and she is doing the choosing. That is NO way to begin a relationship with a woman.

Women want men who are desired by many other women. They don't care if you are fvcking 10 other girls. All that matters is that you chose them over all the others. The fact that she "knows" about those 10 other girls is how you "break" her. The fact that you make no excuses for fvcking those other women is how you "break" her. This is the reason why a TV show like The Bachelor "works", while a show like The Bachelorette doesn't. A woman will never truly respect a man who knows about her other lovers yet still hangs around. That is the definition beta!

A Don Juan should only focus on women that display high interest in him. Women chase him. He doesn't chase them. A woman with high interest level will move mountains to get the man she wants. She will not fvck other guys because that may destroy her chances with the guy she wants.

Any woman who fvcks another guy in an effort to get him to commit is a game player. She is trying to manipulate the man and take the alpha role. Whether you can successfully "break" her by being unphased by this behaviour is irrelevant. She has shown her true colors and is undeserving of any relationship with you. The idea that "she has played her only cards" is silly. She can play those "cards" as many times as she wants. (ie. keep fvcking other dudes). Why not? You don't care right? This type of woman will undoubtedly cheat at some time in the future.

The excuse that "I don't care if she's screwing other dudes because I'm screwing other chicks too" is just plain BS! I suspect the only way this "excuse" works for you is if you happen to be one with more sexual partners. If she is the one screwing 10 other dudes and you only have 2 other plates going, then my bet is your theory falls to pieces.

A Don Juan doesn't like the taste of other guy's d!cks in his woman's mouth. Period!

Peace



P.S. Backbreaker, you are a great member of this forum, and normally I value your opinions and experiences a lot. I just don't think this type of advice has a place on this forum. Once again I don't doubt that this idea might work for you if you are the one spinning lots of plates. However, for 99% of the guys out there this would blow up in their face.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

In terms of 'breaking a woman', I don't know if that's the best approach for everyone...I understand what you are saying about not being directly manipulated and controlled...but women are not inferior animals like dogs exactly, needing to be broken. I think what's most important is that boundaries are understood -- it's okay and important to plainly speak your boundaries isn't it?

My reason for this thread is a female at my workplace has slept with a few different dudes at work -- she is very kino-intense, grabs at me all of the time too. She hooked up with a guy I work with (guy #1), he wanted a relationship, she didn't; she then hooks up with another dude at work (guy #2) -- he wants a relationship, she is turned off by him in some way, then I see her at work again giving lots of attention to guy #1 again. She's spending lots of time with him here at a recent party, giving him lots of IOI's, -- he leaves, then she asks guy #2 if he wants a ride home.

I sort of feel sorry for the dude, it's not my place really to say anything. But he (guy #1) feels like he's making progress, all the while so does guy #2 -- yet she is sort of bouncing between them -- maybe polarizing more towards guy #1.

If I were either I'd feel played -- would not like this feeling -- but guy #1 especially I believe is in ignorance about the other hookups. I feel as though if I was that guy, and knew about her hooking up inbetween with others, that would spoil whatever connection we had -- I would feel devalued in some way. Would feel salty.

I gather from other's feedback I'm not the only one. I guess everyone has different boundaries about sex. Maybe I am territorial too in some ways like you're saying zekko --- is this possessive of us? I just feel a good relationship doesn't start this way exactly. I don't expect to 'own' anyone, I expect them to 'want' to be with me.

In terms of plate spinning, I more so 'spin plates' in the sense that I try and socialize and interact with many women -- I also try much harder now to learn to let women come to me. I don't want to sleep around like mad -- I view my sexuality as something somewhat special. I don't exactly want to be a male slvt.

I don't want to enter into a relationship with manipulation, or massive mind-games. I genuinely try not to play these with women.

IDK man, to each their own -- I guess it's all about what you want and what your own boundaries are, and these are different for all people.

I also disagree that all women will engage with a man even if they know he's fvcking several others; I've seen women repelled by this player notion, as they value monogamy, and just as some men are turned off by a woman bringing home some other man's juices -- I believe some women feel the same way. And that's why it's hard just to make generalizations all together -- because of people's different boundaries and perceptions.

 

[Slickster]

I also disagree that all women will engage with a man even if they know he's fvcking several others; I've seen women repelled by this player notion, as they value monogamy, and just as some men are turned off by a woman bringing home some other man's juices -- I believe some women feel the same way. And that's why it's hard just to make generalizations all together -- because of people's different boundaries and perceptions.

Good post Buddha. You have a good head on those shoulders.

I too have seen many women "act" repelled by certain player-type behaviour. Especially when it is very blatant and over the top.

However I've also had quality women tell me right to my face that they disliked the fact that I was sleeping with multiple women who they didn't respect. (ie. slvts) Only to have those same women knocking on my door wanting a piece, sometimes the same night!

You are correct that this notion is a generalization and there will always be cases where it doesn't prove true. However, I've seen and experienced it play out just as I've described over and over again.

In my opinion women express their disgust for player type behaviour because it is a way to demonstrate that they are "above" all that. If you are discreet about your plates though, and there are only "hints" and "speculation", then it seems to amplify interest considerably for a girl with moderate-to-high interest. For really high interest girls it doesn't seem to matter.

 

[backbreaker]

Good post Buddha. You have a good head on those shoulders.

I too have seen many women "act" repelled by certain player-type behaviour. Especially when it is very blatant and over the top.

However I've also had quality women tell me right to my face that they disliked the fact that I was sleeping with multiple women who they didn't respect. (ie. slvts) Only to have those same women knocking on my door wanting a piece, sometimes the same night!

You are correct that this notion is a generalization and there will always be cases where it doesn't prove true. However, I've seen and experienced it play out just as I've described over and over again.

In my opinion women express their disgust for player type behaviour because it is a way to demonstrate that they are "above" all that. If you are discreet about your plates though, and there are only "hints" and "speculation", then it seems to amplify interest considerably for a girl with moderate-to-high interest. For really high interest girls it doesn't seem to matter.

good post.

I have very well turned some women off with plate spinning. My line of thought is i would never date a woman that is afraid of a little competition. IF a woman is turned off to the point where she is going to pack her bags and leave, well..bye. that's dating on her terms and I don't do that, and even if i did, it wasn't going to work.

no one is saying you should have women all over your house and just trow the **** in people's face or antyhingt but, don't lie about it either.


plate spinning is like the last piece of white knightism that the plugged in DJ just really wants to hold on to. like he feels like he is doing something inherently bad. like saying I will not call, I will play hard to get, but will be ****y funny, but making women compete for me, that's just too far.

My stance on the situation is and always will be look, I'm fvcking single. I can do what I damn well please and this is what I please to do. if you don't like it well than it was nice knowing you, you obviously weren't meant to be. If you want me to stop being interested in other women,k you have to give me a reason to do that, I'm not going to give up my lifestyle because we rumped a time or two. sorry that's just not how i do it. You have not done a damn thing to earn my exclusivity.

If a woman is going to run behind that mindset, she's just not the woman for me. of course they don't like it. no more than you like her having oribters. I'm ont doing this **** for their enjoyment I'm doing it to properly 1. protect myself, 2. weed out a woman and if we do establish a relationship that is long lasting 3. go into it iwth the 100% correct frame. but the ones that really like you, will usually at least test it out. depending on how much she likes yyou and what else she has going on **** may hit the fan sooner or later, but it was going to hit the fan anyway.

another reason women do not like this behavior, and i found out this by accidne,t is that they know the gig is up. they know that they are not your only resource for sex. they can't play the waiting game with you, they can't hold ***** over your head to get you to do ****, and they know that you aren't going to put up with as much **** from them as you would if you had no other options. it 100% turns the tables to your favor. they hate it. they hate it more than anything.


My ex Amber, the black girl, when I first met her, I had no plates. none lol. she was my first plate in a while, my business and all. it took me, 4, count em, 4 times to get her to on our first date. she gave me every BS reason in the book to blow me off. it was the EX. she still had feelings, she didn't know what she wanted to dgo. she would come over and we wouldn't have sex, etc.

a month later, i had picked up 2 additional plates, and i suddenly didn't have as much time for her. oh she was f'n livid. mind you, she could have nipped all this **** in the butt and locked me up the first day I met her, she chose this path. Bu now I was having fun and really wans't really ready to settle down. she had done nothing to show me she was worth settling down for. we had sex a time or two, went out for a few times, that's it. I liked her and all but I knew she was seeing her ex. she called me every name in the book, everything, threatened to not see me because i was being so childish, but that entire time, for the next 2 months or so, when i did call her, you think I had any trouble getting anything I wanted from her? not a damn peep out of her. I called her at 2:30 one friday night in the middle of a thunderstorm and she was in the car before i got off the phone, and showed up to my house soak in wet with a smile on her face. you think she does if she knows i'm her only option for sex?

on the other hand, ,her ex.. who.. wasn't a bad dude. I met him. Smart, had a little money, was an engineer.. but had no other plates. he was still banging her. that is until I started banging 2-3 other girls, and she told me what did she need to do to get me to stop. i said he needs to go completely. done. And when I am, 100% convinced that he is out of the picture and that you aren't fvcking him any longer and that you hav eno feelings for him.. THEN and only then will i even consider dating you. tat took 3 months.and in those 3 months I kept doing my thing. she hated it. hated every last mintue of it, but didn't go anywhere. at the end of those 3 months she was 100% broken down. the dude was long gone. now he's leaving messages on her answering machine crying wanting to know what he did wrong, how he wants to get back together, etc.

lol even funnier, because i did consider her my top plate, made the other plates sick. 100% true story, I even posted it here before, one of my plates worked at a bar, took my plate there (wasn't my idea, she wtned to go, didn't know she was at work), she saw her, and me, and got so jealous she singled me into the bathroom and gave me BJ with my date sitting at the table. then later that night came over and F'ed my brains out. I had my 2 b est friends baffled. hell I had myself baffled for a while.

women HATE competition. neither of these women were skanks. I dated the black girl for over a year eventually. I haqd her so under my thumb I could take her to the club,and she would ask me what I wanted to drink and have dudes buy her drinks all night long and ive them to me lol. that's broken down. this BJ in the bathroom girl had an accounting degree, had a full time job at a law firm and was working part time during football season to pick up extra money. regular women.


I hate to be this blunt, but the truth is until she shows me she's worth a damn to actually care about, I could give 2 ****s what is in a woman's best interest. I care about what's in my and my alone's interest and only my interest. Regardless of what she says, I assure you she feels the same way. she's goign to look out for her. Fvck the hall mark love stories, you better look out for number 1.

That's the hyprocity of a woman. I remember like it was yesterday being stood up buy amber, each time. I remember the Sunday after my 21st birthday, waking up excited because i had my first date in 3 years, got dressed, spent 30 minutes washing the car, another 20 minutes ironing clothes, busted out the new cologne, only to call her and she not pick up the phone, and I sat there at home watching curb your enthusiasm reruns on HBO at my 1 week old apartment. I didn't say 2 peeps to her. not a word. a month later, she has her best friend literally, stalking me while I'm on a date with another broad at chili's and reporting back to her. then she passes me up so she knows I see her like I'm supposed to feel bad or something, calling me every name in the book beucase I am on another date with another women, when you were going the same thing 1 month ago. Now that she has decided I am date worthy I'm just supposed to drop every thing I'm doing and commit. f that.

men, you have to learn how to use plates. if you don't learn anything else. plates are essential to getting what you want.

 

[zekko]

Maybe I am territorial too in some ways like you're saying zekko --- is this possessive of us?

I'm probably not as territorial as I let on, it just depends on the nature of the relationship. I'm territorial with my LTRs, but I don't consider it possessive. They are free to go screw whoever they want. But they can't do that and be with me.

I spun most of my plates in my 20s and early 30s, although I had never heard the phrase "spinning plates". We called it playing the field. I never spun nine deep like Backbreaker though, lol. I would never have had the energy for that. I would have maybe four in the rotation at most. Backbreaker seems to do everything in an extreme way But that can be good.

Anyway, it never bothered me if any of my "plates" saw other guys. They were just plates after all. I was fond of some of them, and some of them I was extremely attracted to, but down deep I knew I was never going to be in an LTR with any of them, for whatever reason. So I didn't care.

They say you should check your girls out for a year or more before you commit, but I've always known early on if the girl was going to be in an LTR with me. With my ex-wife, I knew after the first night we went out that we were going to get married. We didn't commit right away or anything, but I knew what was going to happen. It's just instinct I guess.

With my current girlfriend, it took a little longer, but I still knew very early on. I was rather suspicious of her at first because she seemed too good to be true I have a very narrow range of traits that I look for, so when I find one I usually recognize her right away. These LTR types I demand more of, but I screen heavily for loyalty so they're unlikely to go screw some other dude anyway.

 

[st_99]

I guess everyone has different boundaries about sex. Maybe I am territorial too in some ways like you're saying zekko --- is this possessive of us? .

I was pretty much like this my entire adult and teen years but you know what, looking back, where has it gotten me? Nowhere really.

Not saying i was some sort of possesive freak but I always thought too highly of the act of sex like it was supposed to bind us at least temporarily and found it really offensive if she even dared to date (f*ck) another guy after/during me. Its all ego obviously.

Well, recently i've just plain old deemphasized sex, its meaning, it somehow being sacred.. I feel like if you totally take the focus OFF of sex then that stops all the bad thoughts, the ego trips and does put all the power in your hands.

I feel like your game just runs so much smoother when ego is put to bed and that means you have to forget about liberal sex
being sacrilege. It just free's you up to basically toy with girls without those negative feelings.

Its not going to stop you from formulating an opinion about a girl based on your values but it will up your game
as the care free attitude works wonders. Clamping down (even just mentally) repels.

and it goes straight to the age old problem of.. the girls that i bang that i dont care about always like me, the ones
that i do like i can never get to commit to me.

 

[imarockstar]

Yes she is "tainted" in some respect. Almost like she broke up with you just to get some strange and not be considered a wh*re. I contemplated this situation with my recent GF when we were having problems.

For me, that is a deal breaker. Unless for some reason you went 6 months to a year without seeing each other, but then why would you want to be with that person again anyways? All couples have problems and sometimes you need a "break" or rather space to figure out if this person is worth the occasional bickering. A week or two tops. If the woman has sex with another guy during this short period, she obviously isn't using her time to reflect and correct mistakes in the relationship wisely, and she obviously does not give a fvck about you.

 

[zekko]

I too have seen many women "act" repelled by certain player-type behaviour. Especially when it is very blatant and over the top.

However I've also had quality women tell me right to my face that they disliked the fact that I was sleeping with multiple women who they didn't respect. (ie. slvts) Only to have those same women knocking on my door wanting a piece, sometimes the same night!

I think there's a difference between being an "attractive guy who spins plates" and being a "horndog player who will fvck anything". Girls will expect attractive men to have other women interested in them, and that just makes the guy all the more attractive.

The horndog player guy can come off as disgusting. Some girls will be into that, although I find these tend to be certain types of girls: Nymphos, girls who are players themselves, girls who have few other options, etc.

 

[Slickster]

I think it's possible to have a care-free attitude regarding women, and yet to also have a high enough self-esteem to think of yourself as number one and worthy of a girl who does not want to fvk other men after she has fvked me.

I know that my present girl was talking to other guys when we first started sleeping together and of course I am ok with that. But if she went out on dates and fvked them? I just would have kept her as FB status indefinitely.

I know some would consider this "bitter and butthurt", I just consider it self-respect.

I fully agree ^^^^^^

It's not an ego thing for me at all.

To me it is about being practical and efficient. If there is a line up of high interest women all wanting a piece of me, why would I waste a second of time on a plate spinning, game player chick who can't make up her mind?

 

[st_99]

I fully agree ^^^^^^

It's not an ego thing for me at all.

To me it is about being practical and efficient. If there is a line up of high interest women all wanting a piece of me, why would I waste a second of time on a plate spinning, game player chick who can't make up her mind?

like i always say, whatever works for you.

For me, I've always had a problem with treating women the same
regardless if I liked them (thought they were fun and cute) or if I could drop them without second thought. And I learned that it was only after sex is when I started to act "different" (with the desirable ones), as in, expected more from them and that usually
did not lead to good things.

So, for me, the obvious answer is, get over the sex thing so you can act the same way you did BEFORE you banged her. This is what I strive for.

If I can tease and be mr. cool guy before sex, I should be that guy after. Not, get paranoid when she starts to pull back. I should be the same guy. Thats my goal.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I agree that I myself would have trouble with it. This chick is meeting with guy#1 for dinner in a night or two, and he is unaware that guy#2 got in there while he was gone. Guy#2 was invited over today to her house to watch a movie and 'cuddle'. He said, 'you are playing mind games, make up your mind', to which she said 'I don't know where me and ______ (guy#1) stand, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends and still cuddle on the couch and watch a movie'.

Man I couldn't handle that **** -- have her cake and eat it too. Next time this chick starts rubbing on me I'm going to have to ask her to back off and give me some personal space, I don't want her thinking I'm going to hop into this strange mindfvck mix.

What confuses me is the massive sense of self entitlement sometimes that goes with these situations -- how come I would feel guilty about something like this, but she has no qualms, and would likely pick up 2 or 3 more if she could get away with it.

 

[Jitterbug]

Why? You want to be second best and backup option? There are way more girls on the girl tree. Shouldn't even have to ask SS.

Besides, you've already hit that, and that certainly wouldn't get any prettier after more time has passed and more d1cks have ventured there. What's the point?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Why? You want to be second best and backup option? There are way more girls on the girl tree. Shouldn't even have to ask SS.

Besides, you've already hit that, and that certainly wouldn't get any prettier after more time has passed and more d1cks have ventured there. What's the point?

I have nothing to do with this woman sexually -- I have simply observed this from the outside -- and have felt advances by her myself, but I see what's going on -- I'm not stupid.

I would never take a chick with this behavior seriously -- but she often gets men to do what she wants because she attractive and charismatic -- but it is all self-serving without consideration for anyone else.

 

[st_99]

...wouldn't you if your d!ck held that much power?! :

Heck yeah! At some point you need to stop fighting the way the game is played and just learn to play and win
with the rules as they are.

 

[backbreaker]

The reason this thread is so "interesting" is because you have two different mindsets. I don't even know if this is something that can be learned or not, it just is it seems


Danger, Zarko, buddah, slickster, to use a football analogy, are what you would call "game managers". Meaning, they are going to go into a game, and are going to play the game not to make mistakes, and make you beat them by actually beating them, not waiting for them to beat themselves. They sit back and observe the women or woman in question and put all the onus on her either living up or not living up to his standards, then make a decision to move on to the next woman.

I am not downing this method of thought, hell the two teams playing in the BCS champsionship game last night where game manager type teams. it works.


St 99, myself and aazon, seem to be aggressive offensive play callers so to speak, kinda like bobby petrino is at Arkansas. if you want to beat us, you have to figure out how to stop us. we are going to put pressure on you at at all times. I'm not worried about misting mistakes because I know i will eventually hit enough big play to win the game.

What I am getting at is, It's not that I don't give a **** that a gijrl i really liked slept with someone else. I mean if my wife slept with someone right now i'd be pretty fvcked up honestly. I mean I could move on but it doesn't mean i wouldn't' be hurt. It's that I'm so on the offensive with women that what a woman does in turn, just isn't that high on my give a **** scale. When you pit women against women and both really want you, it's no telling what they might do to get you. some will make sense some won't. First of all, the premise of the OP's question is wrong anyway because it is assuming that I am only spinning 1 plate and she left and came back. if I saw a girl and found out she was sleeping with someone else, doesn't' mean she can't be a bottom level plate with the way to work herself back up. Anything she is doing is nothing more than a reaction to what I am doing. Versus you guys reacting to what she is doing.


Now if she somehow survived, all my **** test I give women, got me to stop spinning plates, I became exclusive with the girl THEN she slept with another dude, she can go. That eventually happened with amber. didn't think twice about changing the lcoks and putting her **** outside in a garbage bag.

 

[st_99]

if I saw a girl and found out she was sleeping with someone else, doesn't' mean she can't be a bottom level plate with the way to work herself back up.

and that is exactly how I see it. I used to get bent and delete numbers and sh*t like that but I've changed my game up.

No need to get emotional, just drop her to bottom level, no biggie, the game goes on and thats it. I'm just taking a pragmatic approach rather than an emotional one. I want to play and so everybody is still in the game, but i control my cards and i'm not selling baltic and mediterranean, I may not buy a hotel but I'll keep them because they may prove useful at some point.

 

[backbreaker]

and that is exactly how I see it. I used to get bent and delete numbers and sh*t like that but I've changed my game up.

No need to get emotional, just drop her to bottom level, no biggie, the game goes on and thats it. I'm just taking a pragmatic approach rather than an emotional one. I want to play and so everybody is still in the game, but i control my cards and i'm not selling baltic and mediterranean, I may not buy a hotel but I'll keep them because they may prove useful at some point.

gotta sale baltic and med bro. lol, you have no chance in beating me if you are going to hold on to those.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Interesting posts. I don't know, I still seem to lean towards my position -- if she hooks up with someone else after dating me a few times, I view that as a lost of interest, and if she came back, I'd feel like it was her loss.

But that's a woman that I am bonding with on an emotional level.

I don't know backbreaker, I don't claim to be a master DJ, I am merely looking for positive relationships with less friction than what I've so much experienced. If I was just banging these chicks, using them only for sex, then maybe my mindset would be different -- but because I desire a woman to be 'into me', it is a hit when she shows high IOI's, get's sexual, than switches over to another. Again, that's because of whatever mental connection I would be feeling with her.

IDK -- maybe I ought to loosen up -- but something in my gut just would make it hard to ever take a chick like that as any LTR material.

And maybe subconsciously, I am pegging and measuring women for their LTR-ability -- mostly because at the moment, I'm not that interested in a string of STRs, which maybe has a lot to do with people's individual reactions. Or maybe has to do with half of my problems to begin with. Maybe I oughtta let go and embrace whatever things may be. Either way, these are all interesting perspectives to me.

 

[backbreaker]

I try to read a chapter of the 48 laws of power at least every other day. Today happened to be the day of law 20, do not commit to anyone.

Here is an interesting passage from this chapter

People will try all kinds of underhanded methods to get you to commit. They will give you gifts, shower you with favors, all to put you under obligation. Encourage the attention, stimulate eir interest, but do not commit at any cost. Accept the gifts and favors if you so desire, but be careful to maintain your inner aloofness. You cannot inadvertently allow yourself to feel obligated to anyone

Remember though: the goal is to not put people off, or too make it seem that you are incapable of commitment,. Like the Virgin Queen,k you need to stir the pot, excite interest, lure people with the possibility of having you.