Idea for older DJ's

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by OddTech
This is a good topic. At this stage of my life, I am confused about whether to "settle down" or not. Perhaps I will never marry, I don't know. Certainly the fear of divorce and the emotional rollercoaster that could happen from it are thwarting me. The women's movement have severely affected guys like me.

I came from a very traditional and stable family, so I see the greatness in family bonding and family love. I grew up in an Italian neighborhood where divorce where never heard of. I wish for that in my future, but I don't see it yet. I haven't been able to find a woman that is good WIFE material. Yes, I've met girls who are good Girlfriend material, but not wife. There is a difference. In my definition of a wife, I am talking about someone to be a good mother and a good caregiver for the family. Someone who is LOYAL. I'm not even requiring her to cook and clean. But at this current time, I haven't met any yet.

Rant off.

That is why I'm a bit 'down' on marraige. I come from a very traditional family much like yours, and do believe in marraige, etc. but finding someone who displays character, integrity, and loyalty these days is very, very difficult. Yes, I've had many great girlfriends, but none of them were close to 'wife' material.

And, seeing how many of my friends who have divorced or who are in very unhappy marraiges makes me even more cautious and picky.

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by fm2
Put me in for a 25+ or 30+ forum as well. (I'm 34.)

I was married before and it was great!!!! We always a great time together, we shared all the stuff that had to get done around the house, it's nice to always come home to somebody you love, and the sex was still great even after 8 yrs together. It would still be great now except that she died from Cystic Fibrosis 2.5 yrs ago

I'd say I can't wait to be married again, except that I CAN wait because it takes so long to find the right person again. Or maybe she's just around the corner

I usually tell married people to stay married as the dating scene just sucks A$$. Although finding websites like this one actually makes it fun again, so there you go.

You people that are worried about marriage leading to divorce, stay single. You have a negative idea about it, so it'll end up as a self fulfilling prophecy. Or you just haven't met the person that'll change your way of thinking yet.

Sorry to hear about your situation; you sound like you had what we are all looking for, in love, life, and a mate.

I find the dating scene fun, but perhaps thats cuz I don't have any expectations when I meet someone new. I just have a fun time and see what happens, if anything, after that.

And I agree, if you meet the right one, all your rules will change.

 

[Aztec]

Sign me up for the board!

 

[DonCruez]

oops forgot to mention that too: i'm also in favor of a +25 board.

BTW, this thread has made me realise one thing: I don't like the idea of marriage because I expect too much of it. I've never been a real AFC, but I seem to have an old fashioned romantic side.

 

[Reto]

Originally posted by OddTech
This is a good topic. At this stage of my life, I am confused about whether to "settle down" or not. Perhaps I will never marry, I don't know. Certainly the fear of divorce and the emotional rollercoaster that could happen from it are thwarting me. The women's movement have severely affected guys like me.

I came from a very traditional and stable family, so I see the greatness in family bonding and family love. I grew up in an Italian neighborhood where divorce where never heard of. I wish for that in my future, but I don't see it yet. I haven't been able to find a woman that is good WIFE material. Yes, I've met girls who are good Girlfriend material, but not wife. There is a difference. In my definition of a wife, I am talking about someone to be a good mother and a good caregiver for the family. Someone who is LOYAL. I'm not even requiring her to cook and clean. But at this current time, I haven't met any yet.

Rant off.

I agree with oddtech. Couldn't of said it better...

I'd like to see an older board. I'm 30+ and am tired of people telling me (and others) to "next" her at the drop of a hat. Usually, they're the ones that are surrounded by HB's all day in school. Unfortunately, for us who have been in the working arena for a while, our daily options are slim. All of the females in my office are either 10 years older or 50 lbs heavier than me...

One thing I did hear of is wine tasteings. I have never been, but my buddy goes all the time, by himself. Said that they are 70% female. You just got to look in the "happenings" in your local paper...

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by Chewy Bagel
It's less expensive living for both partners.

I've always found my expenses go up when living together.

(Note: I did not say I never have lived with a bloke. I said I wouldn't ... I left out “again.” Thought you knew me, didn’t you.)

fm2 - I like the comments on self-fulfilling prophecies. It's very true. You find what you look for.

 

[myfriendblu]

Hey gentleman, I really dig what your saying...
Like you, I have chosen the "Red Pill" - A different path in life. As a guy in my mid 20's, I have noticed with amazement while all my friends/co-workers, one by one, have chosen a life of AFC-dom, basically a slave to there family/wife/kids like an automatic ATM machine, chained till death, like Al Bundy. I have shunned religion/marriage/kids not because I WANT more, Its because I DESERVE more. I chose to be independent and successfull and a wealthy, driven man. For those who don't like it, tuff. I have noticed that many of my friends are starting to drop off the list like flies, who spend countless nights stuck in home, with the occasional hour or two out with a "couple" or a friend that the wife approves of. An overwhelming majority of my friends wifes/girlfriends dissapprove of their man hanging out with me, because Im the man that their man used to be, before the ball and chain set in. Yet, i feel, deep down inside, they all desire a man like us, with his balls intact and chain-free.

Gentleman, the easiest (and really, only ) way to meet women for guys like us is just out and about in the real world. You have GOT TO become good at cold approaches. There are quality women everywhere. There is a little Einstien bagel shop down the street from where I work. I reckon I get AT LEAST 2 or 3 numbers every week on my lunch break there. Just walk up and say high. Not very hard to do. There are always professional women there on break from work. This is just an example - there are women everywhere - Just because Its not a bar doesn't mean you can't pick em up.

As far as a "older DJ" forum - it was already tried, and it didn't work. Your just gonna have to sift threw the garbage and post on stuff that you like, thats all. Just like I did with this post.

 

[Walden]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Gentleman, the easiest (and really, only ) way to meet women for guys like us is just out and about in the real world. You have GOT TO become good at cold approaches. There are quality women everywhere.

Yeah absolutely.

I'm 26 and I'm starting to be a bit more about my career and what I want outta my life now rather than my historical interest in drinking as much beer and f***ing as many fat girls as I could find. So I think I want to be more about PUs that just happen rather than going out chasing women.(I don't chase 'em i replace em).

 

[Aramas]

Actually Gent, I disagree with everything you said exept that the grown-ups need their own forum. The type of people you implied would populate it are another matter entirely. It sounds like you and your implied brothers in arms are too impressed with your own importance and bent on twisting reality to fit your tailchasing for wealth and power to make any meaningful life choices.

Ditch your business and your greedy ambitious 'friends', (be honest, they're 'contacts' or 'aquaintances', right?) and backpack/sail/ride around the country/world/galaxy or something.

Stop making excuses for how society is turning people against each other - it's not society, it's you. Get to know people as they really are, not as a resource to be utilised efficiently or a stereotype to be removed from your illustrious presence ASAP. Get to know what really matters in life. Make real friends - ie people who put their friends' interests on par with their own. Maybe you might actually start to see human relationships more objectively.

Then come back and read about your previous self inflated, bitter, twisted world view and see if you can keep a straight face

 

[gentleman193]

Myfriendblu,

This thread seems to work as a mini-forum for now. It keeps out all the senseless chatter that we can't really relate to anymore.

Some of the married chicks that dig guys like us are definitely hot and you probably feel that they desire men like us b/c they are giving off crazy buying signals. That happens to me with almost all married women it seems. Some of them are blatant about it, too. They are definitely cutting their men off. The best response is to tease them with your DJ skills. She knows she wants it and she's not gonna get it. Seems to drive them crazy.

Cold approaches are essential, you are right, but I have to get motivated to # close sometimes. So post your field reports. That will up the bar. We need more action on this thread and less talk about marriage!

 

[gentleman193]

Oh jeez

Aramas,

Building your own business is a committment to your own set of values. It contributes more to society than sailing off into the sunset. It's what I decided to do after traveling around the 3rd world for several months and I've done it for over six years. The point is to do your own thing -- not succumb to the existing system.

And face it, the world encroaches all the time. A virus would like to breed in your blood. A mouse would like to live in your basement. A neighbor would like to build on a bit of your land. A competitor would like to bill your customers, too. A government would like to tax your revenue. Your landlord is eager to raise your rent. All of them can justify their cause. And none of them are evil. But they all will take and take unless they are kept in check.

And when it comes to my friends -- the guys from high-school and college I used to do everything with -- this is their failing. They let their women take and take and don't keep them in check. The investment banker's girl sure enjoys their mid-town apt. that she could never afford without him -- but she can't stand for his friends or relatives to even visit. The doctor's wife enjoys decorating their new condo but decides to spend a few more years in grad school while he pulls the 100+ hrs/wk in residency. No hot meals for him, but over dinner his wife does poke fun at his libido. The professor's wife complains about their old car but does she work? Why no, with her Ph.D. from Harvard she decides . . . to have kids.

I don't blame the women. Like the virus or the mouse or the neighbor or the government they have found something good and they know these guys didn't develop enough other options to keep them in check. The banker talks wistfully that his girl may decide to move out. Sure, like a mouse that wants to go live in the cold field again. The doctor says his wife is free to do anything she wants. A little more prozac for him and he can forget about what he's not getting. The professor *did not want kids* but the other option was go meet someone else and they both knew he did not have the confidence.

So my goal is not to follow the path of my friends. While I can give women many good things -- both material and otherwise -- I will also be interested in what they will give me. I know from every deal I've closed in six years that what matters most is being able to walk away if it stinks. I love my clients -- b/c I get what I want from them. These guys love their wives, but they ought to get what they want, too, instead of lying to themselves. If you think my world view is twisted, I think you have your head up your keester.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that the DJ way is to get what we want from women. And for women DJ's to get what they want from men. So let's all go out there and do it and post our reports back here. Good sex is good for everyone.

 

[Squid]

This may sound simplistic, but I think you guys are arguing like there is only one right answer. Obviously there isn't, since everyone is different, what they want or what will make them happy is also different. I know some people that are truly happily married, I also know others that are miserable.

I married the only girl I dated (for 5 years) at a young age and truthfully, I was miserable. It was a huge mistake, so when I found out she was sleeping with her "good friend at work" I wasn't devastated, I just walked.

I loved having my freedom again, I did everything that I wanted to do and I didn't have to answer to anyone. I decided that I would never make the same mistake again, I would be much more picky in choosing women to be with. The girl I am dating now adds to my life instead of limiting it. I still do everything that I did before and I include her if she wants to be a part of it. The good thing is that my passions are hers as well. I am never dragged to the mall on a Saturday afternoon for example (I hate this!!), I do the same things I did as a free single guy, and she comes along too (i.e. go to the gym, ride my motorcycle, etc.).

Will I get married again? I don't know yet, but I definitely will go into it alot smarter now than previously. We all need to keep the things that we consider to be important a priority in life regardless of marital status. If you are with a woman that "makes" you give up things or do other things, maybe that person is not suited for you. This is turning unto a ramble so I guess I will stop now.

 

[Eileen]

Re: Oh jeez

Originally posted by gentleman193
They let their women take and take and don't keep them in check.

That seems shortsighted. For all you really know these same men might demand more from the relationship than they are willing to give.

I’m not being argumentative, just making sure to point out that things are not always what they seem on the surface.

I don't think your worldview is twisted but I think it's unrealistic to think that men should always "get what they want" or that they never do and that their wife always do.

It is a lovely fairy tale though.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Gentleman193 it's great you started your own business and it's great that everything seems to be working perfectly for you.

But from reading your post, I get the feeling that either you are just some kid who posted about a perfect world or you are some kid who's parents are as rich as Donald Trump.

Because most people who do live and work in the real world, will know that nothing is perfect.

your statement that you get what you want from all your clients is plain BS. And you walk away from any client that you dont' like or agree with is plain BS. Especially if you've been doing it for 8 years.

While you don't have to sell your soul to create a successful business, nothing and nobody is ever perfect. You will have clients who you dont like, but you will take them on as clients because they provide something you want, and thats money and references.

If you turn away from every customer and client you don't agree with or like, I'm sorry, but out here in the real world, you wouldn't have a very successful business.

Without even going into the business world, people have to do things for bosses, work, and others just because they need that paycheck. They need to pay bills. You don't need to be married to realize that at 30 years old, you can't go and ask your mommy for lunch money or rent money anymore.


As for saying all your friends are becoming uselss, whipped and slaves, well that might or might not be true.

The problem is, single or married, there are many people who become slaves to their careers, jobs, and businesses.

As I've said, i know many happy married people and I know many depressed married people.

I also know many happy single people and many depressed single people. And most of them are closer to 40 then 30.

And you know what, most of these single depressed people aren't depressed because they can't get dates or they don't have any money or they can't get laid, it's because, the closer to 40 you get, it becomes sort of boring to date a different girl every week.

Some people do like this, but in my experience, after awhile, unless of course you are a millinaire and can travel the world anytime you want, dating a million different girls per year becomes quite boring.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by gentleman193
Myfriendblu,

This thread seems to work as a mini-forum for now. It keeps out all the senseless chatter that we can't really relate to anymore.

Some of the married chicks that dig guys like us are definitely hot and you probably feel that they desire men like us b/c they are giving off crazy buying signals.

Oh man are you kidding me!
Its seems like at least HALF of the married women I meet threw work give off IL signals. But.....I really like my job, and Im not about to lose it over some female. I had a close call like that awile ago, and Im never letting that happen again. Suffice to say, I have learned to keep relationships out of the workplace.

Gentleman, you gotta remember, most of the people posting here on this site are between 16- 22. Just kids practically, so they really don't have a grasp or understanding of what were talking about. Its like a foreign language to them. I know, cause I was there a few years ago. its amazing to think how much I have learned in the last few years. Your right, i could go on and on about what I sorry state most married men are in today. Women, without a doubt, have the upper hand in most relatioships, and i reckon, nearly every marriage. Its sad, really. All of it. Being stuck in a bad marriage, divorce, alimony, child support, custody rights, etc. etc.. I don't want any part of it at all. All we can say is this - were young, independent, wealthy DJ males living in america. There is no better person to be, no better place to be, and no better time to be in. WE know whats right, whats wrong, what we want and what we don't want. We got the world by the balls! Anything you want, its truly out there

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Women, without a doubt, have the upper hand in most relatioships, and i reckon, nearly every marriage.

Of course, if you went on a board full of women they'd say the exact opposite.

Is it possible that life is simply not a joy ride most of the time ... for anyone?

 

[Big Pappy]

Life is very simple. You get out of it what you put into it. For those that are unhappy, it's because they wish to be.

We all control how we feel. Accidents really suck, but we can make lemonade out of lemons. It's all in the attitude.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by Eileen
Of course, if you went on a board full of women they'd say the exact opposite.

Is it possible that life is simply not a joy ride most of the time ... for anyone?

Ahem....

Men, in a divorce

1. Are the ones getting stuck paying vaginamony, I mean alimony

2. Lose the kids, because the justice system is biased towards women. So men get stuck paying ridiculous child support payments

3. Get screwed, because assets are split 50-50, despite the fact its usually ALL OF HIS assets. Thats right, men usually pay for most if not all the mortage, car payments house payments, day care, food, clothing, gas, water, hand bags and shopping sprees, credit cards, hair/nail/salons, college, I could go on and on....Yet when the divorce inevitably hits, its split evenly? !

 

[Eileen]

Oh, got screwed in a divorce did you? Sorry to hear that.

What about all the hours the wife was up caring for the kids? Wiping their snot and rotten bums, doing their homework, meeting with their teachers, running the kids from school to football (soccer), listening to you ***** about work, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, washing the dog, slopping the hogs, putting another log on the fire ...

She could have been out building a career instead you know. If she was, it wasn't you that paid for everything, was it?

I feel for you. I really do. I know that men sometimes do get shafted but I also know that many have a huge lack of appreciation for what their wives have done or do. They whine and moan about how stressful their job is and have little or no clue how stressful it is to raise kids and take care of a family.

I'm not saying that's you. Just making a point. Personally, I think everyone gets shafted in a divorce.

 

[Walden]

Obviously.A divorce happens when things fail to work out hence everyone gets a raw deal and it sucks.