I want to be a father one day...

[Zontyy]

I've had this discussion with my baby's mother, she believes that my son and her 2 other kids should come first. She gets pissed when I put her first and focused on our relationship. She even said to me that I don't even care about my own blood related child let alone her 2 others.
I explained to her that the best thing for these children is to see a healthy relationship between a man and a women and that they need to see the roles that a man and woman each represent respectively. How will my son ever grow up to be a man and a leader, if my GF is making the decisions and putting the "kids" first. They won't know what normal love is if they don't witness our relationship. Consequently there is even scripture in the people that agrees with this point. I told her that a man and woman get married and become one flesh and put each other first above all else. I said your not married to my son or ****ing him so stop putting the kids above us.

 

[TheProspect]

I've had this discussion with my baby's mother, she believes that my son and her 2 other kids should come first. She gets pissed when I put her first and focused on our relationship. She even said to me that I don't even care about my own blood related child let alone her 2 others.
I explained to her that the best thing for these children is to see a healthy relationship between a man and a women and that they need to see the roles that a man and woman each represent respectively. How will my son ever grow up to be a man and a leader, if my GF is making the decisions and putting the "kids" first. They won't know what normal love is if they don't witness our relationship. Consequently there is even scripture in the people that agrees with this point. I told her that a man and woman get married and become one flesh and put each other first above all else. I said your not married to my son or ****ing him so stop putting the kids above us.

I don’t think you’ll be able to change her beliefs and opinions through rationalization, nor do I think attempting to do so will be that productive. With the right woman, her priorities should naturally align with your own.

Of course, you can’t do much after the fact you’ve had kids with someone, so ideally you’d want to have kids with someone who already holds the same beliefs & principles you do (such as: lovers first, partners second, parents third)... If you have to reason these priorities with a woman I’d imagine she’s probably not an ideal candidate to raise a kid with.

 

[Zontyy]

I don’t think you’ll be able to change her beliefs and opinions through rationalization, nor do I think attempting to do will be productive...

Of course, you can’t do much after the fact you’ve had kids with someone, so ideally you’d want to have kids with someone who already holds the same beliefs & principles you do (such as: lovers first, partners second, parents third)... If you have to reason these priorities with a woman I’d imagine she’s probably not an ideal candidate to raise a kid with.

While it might not change her beliefs and opinions it does however explain mine and why I am so rigid to it. If she complains or mentions something I just calmly explain this too her after awhile she gets sick of hearing it and lets me operate within my own self.

You are correct that it isn't the most ideal candidate but you would think after hearing this over and over again you going to accept it or leave your man alone because you already know the answer. No one is ever taught something overnight sometimes it takes years to get a message through and if you keep repeating the same message eventually it will stick. You just can have her wear you down and need to stay resolved, I find most men give up and follow her frame and that what leads to problems down the road.

 

[Lookatu]

I'm interested in reading more perspectives on the topic of potential fatherhood, and perhaps even further discussion of the existing dialogue. Might be an useful read for some of you.

I've been with my wife for over 18 years total and married for over 13. I have 3 kids. I think I had long enough to observe not only my relationship but others I come into contact with. Here's some blurbs in no random order.

- Having kids will be the closest you get to the fountain of youth.
- They will keep you fit both mentally and physically.
- They will keep you young at heart.
- They will test you.
- They will make you become a better person.
- They will challenge you beyond belief.
- They will bankrupt you.
- They will make you become a better leader, better version of you, better provider, stronger nurturer, etc.
- They will be your strongest sacrifice in life
- They will push your will and change the way you think
- They will test your patience and strengthen it

In seeking a good mother/wife in no particular order:
- Make sure she loves you more than you love her
- Look for one that is selfless
- Look for one that comes from a good family with a good father figure
- Look for one that has domesticated skills(cooks, cleans)
- Look to see how she treats others
- Look to see if empathy and humility is strong with her
- Look for one that is fair and objective(not selfish and narcissistic)
- Look at one that is flexible, adaptable, and resourceful
- Look for one that is an independent thinker and will align with your thought process, or at least respect it
- Look for one that can handle and deal with stress and be a trooper about it
- Look for one that is good with resolving conflict
- Look for one that will be compliant and ultimately let you be the boss of the family. Remember, there can only be one boss of the family.
- Look for one that can forgive(her family, friends, people, you)
- Look for one that has an open mind and tries to understand people/situations rather than react/get upset as the default
- Look for one with good amount of patience and tolerance. Understanding is one thing but having patience and tolerance is the other piece of the pie

I'm sure there maybe some I might be forgetting but this is most of it.

There's no guarantees in life and you shouldn't sit on the sidelines and not take chances fearing you'll lose or fear you may end up in a bad situation, but guidelines like this and forums like this help you minimize risks and help you think more clearly.

Don't let life pass you by, by being handicapped by other's experiences or stories. Don't let the fear of the unknown rule you. You go out, take a chance and create your own and do the best you can. Whatever happens, you will grow in various ways and it will enrichen your life regardless of good or bad.

 

[Dash Riprock]

... but my biggest concern in life is having a kid with the wrong woman. How do I handle this desire given my concern?

I'm 26 years old, and ever since my nephew was born ten years ago and spent the first 2 years of life in the same house as me, I've wanted to raise a kid of my own one day.


I'm not in a rush to have a kid, I'm only 26, but if I ended up dating a woman for long enough who had ideal motherly qualities and the compatibility to be a long-term partner, I wouldn't be against having one in a few years. I have 1 year of university left so I'd like to finish that and have a few years making money before I settle down with someone.

I know there's a few guys on this forum who've got married, or had a kid with a woman, and it didn't work out (perhaps it was an amicable split or the guy simply knocked up an idiot with a vag!na), but they still are proud to be a father nonetheless. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and there will always be uncertainty, but I'd like to have the mom in the picture to raise the kid alongside me.

I'm not really interested in marriage or finding a unicorn, but I feel two married individuals who are on the same page on parenting would provide the best environment for a kid to grow up in, and for that reason, I would consider marriage.

I've been with a decent amount of women already by age 26, and the novelty and conquest of new women is starting to wear off. Sex alone doesn't interest me anymore. Most women I've met are the furthest thing from intellectually stimulating, with the ones worth the companionship are few and far between...

I guess there's a worry within me that I won't come across a woman worth having a kid with, however, living in that mind-set seems unproductive and like it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But my fear to have a kid with the WRONG woman is so much stronger than my desire to have a kid to begin with, I'd probably just opt out if I don't find an ideal woman.


At the end of the day, having a kid isn't my purpose or sole ambition in life, so if it doesn't happen because I don't find a suitable mate, then so be it. I wouldn't settle for having a kid with sh!tty woman and let that be my life for 18 years.


TL;DR ... I want to be a father and raise my own kid one day. Wondering the smartest way to approach this desire given the current marketplace and female proclivities these days. In no rush, and I'm not willing to sacrifice on the quality of a woman just for the sake of having a kid, so I can accept it if it doesn't happen... although I really look forward to potential fatherhood. Thoughts?

Hey OP,

You seem like a decent, sincere guy. I really hope you find a solid partner to have kids with. I posted a couple months back. Here's the link: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...things-can-boost-your-odds-of-success.267436/

Here are the highlights:

To get married or not is always a common debate on SS.

If a man were to choose to get married, here are a few things that would increase his chances for a successful long-term marriage:

• Verbal communication skills: Can she communicate (can YOU communicate??) or does she play passive-aggressive games and stare at you rather than talking things through? I learned my lesson on this one. You can't text and email your way through martial issues and problems that WILL arise.
• Choose a woman from the upper Midwest or Great Plains states. Generally speaking, people here carry a hard work ethic, come from smaller towns, are more family-oriented, come from more solvent family units, are generally more religious, and overall are just nicer, honest people as in "Minnesota Nice." Best states: MN, WI, IA, NE, KS, ND, SD, IN, OK. Mediocre: MI, IL, MO, OH. Worst states: NY, MA, CT, FL, TX, CA. Hidden gem/underrated state: NM.
• HB6.5-7.5's in physical looks make the best LTRs and wives. Less drama, they try harder, fewer guys macking on them, but they're good-looking enough to hold your attention.
• Education helps, but common sense is more important. An educated, sensible person has a greater likelihood of being able to critically think and solve problems rather than exacerbating them.
• Check the family dynamic and history. Women coming from a fatherless household can be big trouble. Look for signs of abuse, mental illness, addictions, depression, etc., in her family. Ask how close she is to her parents and siblings.
• The fewer dating apps they use the better. I’ve dated women who were on no apps and some that were on multiple/many. The ones that were on multiple dating sites simultaneously were always trouble, flaky, promiscuous, and worth 1-2 dates and a bang at best.
• Watch for excessiveness; smoking, drinking, drugs, spending, any OCD behavior really. This is a HUGE flag and harbinger of things to come.
• Career/job: Ask about her career aspirations, passions. In this day and age, you'll need two incomes to start a family. Plus, someone with career goals shows responsibility and that they likely have their s*it together.

There are more but these are the main ones, according to Dash. You'll likely never get the winning lottery ticket where someone hits all of these but the more you can check the better your odds are.

Good luck.

~Dash~

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

... but my biggest concern in life is having a kid with the wrong woman. How do I handle this desire given my concern?

I'm 26 years old, and ever since my nephew was born ten years ago and spent the first 2 years of life in the same house as me, I've wanted to raise a kid of my own one day.


I'm not in a rush to have a kid, I'm only 26, but if I ended up dating a woman for long enough who had ideal motherly qualities and the compatibility to be a long-term partner, I wouldn't be against having one in a few years. I have 1 year of university left so I'd like to finish that and have a few years making money before I settle down with someone.

I know there's a few guys on this forum who've got married, or had a kid with a woman, and it didn't work out (perhaps it was an amicable split or the guy simply knocked up an idiot with a vag!na), but they still are proud to be a father nonetheless. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and there will always be uncertainty, but I'd like to have the mom in the picture to raise the kid alongside me.

I'm not really interested in marriage or finding a unicorn, but I feel two married individuals who are on the same page on parenting would provide the best environment for a kid to grow up in, and for that reason, I would consider marriage.

I've been with a decent amount of women already by age 26, and the novelty and conquest of new women is starting to wear off. Sex alone doesn't interest me anymore. Most women I've met are the furthest thing from intellectually stimulating, with the ones worth the companionship are few and far between...

I guess there's a worry within me that I won't come across a woman worth having a kid with, however, living in that mind-set seems unproductive and like it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But my fear to have a kid with the WRONG woman is so much stronger than my desire to have a kid to begin with, I'd probably just opt out if I don't find an ideal woman.


At the end of the day, having a kid isn't my purpose or sole ambition in life, so if it doesn't happen because I don't find a suitable mate, then so be it. I wouldn't settle for having a kid with sh!tty woman and let that be my life for 18 years.


TL;DR ... I want to be a father and raise my own kid one day. Wondering the smartest way to approach this desire given the current marketplace and female proclivities these days. In no rush, and I'm not willing to sacrifice on the quality of a woman just for the sake of having a kid, so I can accept it if it doesn't happen... although I really look forward to potential fatherhood. Thoughts?

First, please don't misunderstand my firmness of tone as rudeness. I exist on the opposite side of the spectrum. I NEVER want kids. I have a reversible vasectomy so I do have a "parachute option" should my mind change (but it wont)

You fundamentally have no 100% proof of the kid or the woman not turning out ****ty ( also you could turn out ****ty - thats life. **** happens)

However, in the interest of serving your explicitly stated goals here are a few observations:

1) Know your core values - this is so damn important. are you conservative or more liberal? are you more generally passion based or vocation based? work life balance? etc -- this is what determines what choices you can and cannot afford to make. eg: for me maximal personal fulfillment over a lifetime is the key value. For that reason traditional employment rarely works for me. so I wouldnt pick a set career path like an engineer or accountant etc.

2) Test test test. - You wouldnt just give away 50% of you expected lifetime income to some investor or businessperson who claims to offer some obscene rate-of-return. you would test. -- Why is this not the case with someone youd hypothetically be making another human with?

3) Understand realistic probabilities of evens the best you can. -- there is no point living in fear of your partner or kid turning out non-ideally given no matter how hard you work there is still some % chance that will happen. do the best you can, be realistic, roll the dice, live and move on.

4) NO WOMAN OR PERSON IS SO FUNDAMENTALLY VALUABLE THAT YOU SHOULD PLACE THEM ON A PEDESTAL. We're all human. we all have varying extents of the same problems of being built this way and existing in the reality that we do. Your partner might be amazing ( I hope she is. Hoenstly I do) but what if she starts amazing, gives birth to your kid, gets post partum depression and never recovers from it.

5) Percolate on this a bit - Why, specifically, do you think some people are so resilient and some are so non-resilient? How can you teach this to your close circle. How do you build systems to minimize the probability that a "string of bad luck" can take them down?

Funnily enough the more realisitic and to some seemingly pessimistic I am the better my results. However you may be a little less neurotic.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Really late to this one, but here's my take on it. I too wanted that type of life over 5 years ago, that's really the reason I joined this forum. I wanted that future and I sucked with women. So I learned all I could and started sucking way less with women, but still unable to find what could be a good relationship. This burned me out and I finally accepted my life as it is, focusing on having the best time possible with what I had.

Shortly after this zen-like acceptance I happened to meet a woman where everything just worked out. I wasn't even trying to game her, I was just talking with her and having fun. I thought I'd never see her again, I wasn't gonna do anything, I was tired of all that. However, she sent me a message asking for a date. I spent a good 2 hours in deep contemplation before delivering my answer, I would possibly be putting a lot of my good energy on the line if I got involved with her. I decided to see where it would go, I had after all learned how to save myself from such pains. Well, a date turned into many many more. Each step of the way I was just waiting for the red flags I knew to look for, but they never showed up.

A year after we met she moved into my apartment. Surely I'd see some red flags now, right? Nope, she even insisted on paying to live with me (all of which I put into a savings account to buy a house together, if we broke up it was mine to keep). Late 2018 we buy that house together and we have plans to marry and have a kid. We got married in 2019 and my son is now 5 months old.

So how are things now? Honestly I hesitate to talk about this on the forums because I feel like nobody would believe how well it's going. It's fvcking fantastic! Communication is great, we have a lot of fun together and the sex has never been better. I really mean it when I say I love her and I know for a fact she loves me too.

So how do you find this? I don't think you can actively look for this, not without becoming miserable or making a bad choice. Maximize finding enjoyment in what you can right now. She might come along when you least expect it or you might never encounter the woman who will be the mother of your kids. This means you should be fully prepared to live your entire life without fulfilling this desire, because it's that desire that cause men to compromise too much on a woman.

I had essentially given up, I was fully prepared to live out my days as a single man without a kid. Had someone asked me 5 years ago what my life would look like today I wouldn't have said happily married with a kid, I wouldn't dare to feed that desire. Here I am though, 5 years later, husband, dad and still having a great time in life (minus pandemic restrictions ofc).

It wouldn't have taken much for me to break up. After that entire ordeal with my BPD mother, my patience and tolerance for drama and BS was near zero. I was having an amazing time being single right before I met my wife, I was already whole and didn't need her at all. Had she so much as tried to disturb that then I would have pulled back faster than light. I spent 4 years before marrying her, looking for evidence that our relationship may not go to infinity, but I'm still empty handed.

You have the order of priorities correct, but you may want to let go of your desire even more. It will just make you feel incomplete, if only by a little bit, but you aren't. Ironically for me I had to let go of that desire to become whole, which may be what I had to be in order to fulfill said desire.

Big ups mate. They sat lightning strikes when least expected. I would add your experience in the **** hole SMP dumpster fire helped recognize something more ideal. Fair play. I have the utmost respect for you and @stringpuller among others who 1. Went through the fire 2. Took a different path thereafter 3. Still are switched on checking in her amongst being on their purpose.

I don't think that men can reverse engineer that. I think elements are as they are as is the SMP being a dumpster fire. Not saying all is bad or doom and gloom. just manage expectations. As you did, it's not there or on the menu. Play to win.

I see far too many guys trying to turn a ***** into a house wife. Lads trying to put a square peg into a round hole. It doesn't end well.

 

[EyeBRollin]

@EyeBRollin, what do you consider a "good" woman? How do you recommend establishing and maintaining a high interest level?

Submissive / cooperative, giving, and keeps her fitness up. Maintaining interest is just being a man and letting her come at you more often than vice versa.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Look for a woman whose parents are still married, on good terms and who gets along with her entire family.

Those point to good values and good conflict resolution skills, not someone who goes nuclear at the first sign of disagreement or argument.

 

[BeExcellent]

@TheProspect

Advice from the old lady:

To expand/explain my grandmother’s priority list for LTR/marriage...

Bear in mind this is a woman who married for the first time at age 18 to the love of her life, was widowed at 43, lived as a self sufficient bookkeeper until age 61, at which time she married her second husband, who was 8 years younger (he was a 53 year old widower) and they were married until his death at 83 (my grandmother was 91 at that point...) she lived another 6 years. She had one son, my father, and she nearly died in childbirth so she never had additional children. She was beautiful, poised, intelligent and a great partner. I share this to place her perspective in a lifelong context.

She explained to me that the chemistry (e.g. sexual desire) is the glue that holds the relationship together. The sexual union creates a sacred bond between husband and wife that allows pleasure, release, eroticism and fulfillment of sexual drive/desire. She felt being lovers kept health robust, kept spirits nourished, created deep intimacy and a lifetime bond rooted in love. Being lovers is the glue. That’s the phrase I recall hearing from her. She well understood that men have a physiological need for sexual release and pleasure and she was critical of my mother, who tended to with hold sexually from my father. My grandmother was unsurprised at the demise of my parents’ marriage on this axis.

The lover relationship is what creates deep intimacy between partners. It creates bonding, spiritual nourishment, real love, pleasure & sustains commitment and loyalty. It must be nutured and fed on a regular ongoing basis regardless of whatever is occurring in life at large. It is a sacred place of safety, vulnerability, support and rejuvenation for the couple. Further cementing the bond between partners. The lover dynamic is the lifeblood of the relationship and may naturally wane in elder years, receding organically into the deep partnership that the sexual bond has created, nourished, and solidified over time. It must be TOP priority of both partners. It is also, incidentally what children need to observe in their parents to understand what a great lover relationship looks like. The lover aspect must be the priority in large measure because modeling a great lover relationship shows children the proper priorities and also demonstrates familial stability and security that children innately crave. It shows children their proper place in the family, nourishes them, secures them and teaches them.


More next post....

 

[BeExcellent]

Second: Wife/partner/companion/help mate...

The partnership companionship component of a great relationship derives naturally from the lover dynamic described above. The key aspects of the partner aspect are trust, respect, and loyalty. There ought be a friendship and comfort that develops secondary to the lover dynamic and that produces a feeling of security and belonging in the relationship. It also should encompass frank communication, discussion, influence (this is how the feminine energy best facilitates masculine leadership), comfort, caring and support. Within a great marriage the woman facilitates a restful nest for her man, assists him, gives her input and defers to his leadership within the relationship. She believes in him and nutures him. She facilitates him socially and is a positive reflection on him. She also looks to him for support and emotional stability, while her intuitive strengths assist him. He is the captain and she the first mate. Again, to model this aspect (which becomes the most enduring aspect over a lifetime) benefits children as it shows them HOW a good partnership works and WHAT a good partnership looks like.

A marriage with a developed partnership component can be a viable marriage but without the lover dynamic it is not going to offer the sexual fulfillment, intimacy and bonded ness that the lover dynamic creates. Men can be reticent to give up a powerful partnership aspect even in the face of lacking sexual satisfaction because a great partnership in and of itself is hard to find and build. So men will take a mistress to augment a great partner aspect with a sexual relationship, but it is best to derive both from a singular relationship...

More next post...

 

[BeExcellent]

Third: Mother...

I have mentioned little about motherhood to this point and for good reason. In a lifelong marriage or LTR parenthood (as in caring for helpless, defenseless young children) is but for a season whereas the lover dynamic and partnership aspect entertwine for a lifetime. So being a mother is seasonal/temporary with respect to being a lover/wife to her husband. Raising children is tiring and the marriage ideally serves to replenish and restore energy to each partner as lovers and companions.

When a parent usurps this natural priority what really happens is it upsets the natural support mechanism that at once provides solace to the couple, strengthening the marriage, and it upsets the security children need to develop and attach securely. Children innately recognize that they need a framework to grow within. Children become disrespectful and unruly when they realize, subconsciously, that the security and stability is not there, they crave discipline even though they are meant to test it as they grow.

Patents and in particular mothers who put their children above all else are unwittingly deconstructing the very structure that the entire family (especially the children) NEED in order to face life’s trials.

Then these women wonder why, once the children are raised and the nest empty that they face a barren relationship, disconnection from the husband and often divorce when they no longer have pull in the sexual marketplace. They do not realize that misplaced priorities within the relationship have slowly eroded away the marriage that could have been, and they are unwilling to face their responsibility for this status through time. Disillusionment and bitterness often then set in.

And children from unions like this arrive into adulthood poorly equipped to build a meaningful relationship, having no healthy example to model.

Obviously selecting the correct woman is paramount. But so too is understanding why these priorities are terribly important is also a big deal so you as the man are equipped to lead the relationship and WHY leading toward this priority set is important.

Lover. Wife. Mother. No exceptions.

Cheers Gentlemen

 

[metalwater]

remember the kids. remember your own fathers. remember the grandfather.

sons and daughters are another person and not you or us. they are themselves. do not be a passive parent, plan and teach what they need to know. they need to understand all of the content in this forum. do not forget to teach it to them. do not let them learn the hard way.

yes, we want children at some point usually. always the kids want a dad and one that will guide and teach them until the end.

wherever your seed takes hold, so does your legacy and spirit.

 

[TheProspect]

I have mentioned little about motherhood to this point and for good reason. In a lifelong marriage or LTR parenthood (as in caring for helpless, defenseless young children) is but for a season whereas the lover dynamic and partnership aspect entertwine for a lifetime. So being a mother is seasonal/temporary with respect to being a lover/wife to her husband. Raising children is tiring and the marriage ideally serves to replenish and restore energy to each partner as lovers and companions.

Insightful posts BE.

The part I quoted above explains well why being a mother should really be the third priority. The rest of the post it belongs to explains why it's ultimately best for all parties involved. Great job laying everything out!

Thank you

 

[TheProspect]

There is some serious delusion in this thread.

Useless post.

Try actually contributing to the thread, perhaps respectfully offering a counter-perspective to what exactly you disagree with. Making a pointless comment needlessly derails the thread and benefits literally no one.

 

[RickTheToad]

... but my biggest concern in life is having a kid with the wrong woman. How do I handle this desire given my concern?

I'm 26 years old, and ever since my nephew was born ten years ago and spent the first 2 years of life in the same house as me, I've wanted to raise a kid of my own one day.


I'm not in a rush to have a kid, I'm only 26, but if I ended up dating a woman for long enough who had ideal motherly qualities and the compatibility to be a long-term partner, I wouldn't be against having one in a few years. I have 1 year of university left so I'd like to finish that and have a few years making money before I settle down with someone.

I know there's a few guys on this forum who've got married, or had a kid with a woman, and it didn't work out (perhaps it was an amicable split or the guy simply knocked up an idiot with a vag!na), but they still are proud to be a father nonetheless. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and there will always be uncertainty, but I'd like to have the mom in the picture to raise the kid alongside me.

I'm not really interested in marriage or finding a unicorn, but I feel two married individuals who are on the same page on parenting would provide the best environment for a kid to grow up in, and for that reason, I would consider marriage.

I've been with a decent amount of women already by age 26, and the novelty and conquest of new women is starting to wear off. Sex alone doesn't interest me anymore. Most women I've met are the furthest thing from intellectually stimulating, with the ones worth the companionship are few and far between...

I guess there's a worry within me that I won't come across a woman worth having a kid with, however, living in that mind-set seems unproductive and like it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But my fear to have a kid with the WRONG woman is so much stronger than my desire to have a kid to begin with, I'd probably just opt out if I don't find an ideal woman.


At the end of the day, having a kid isn't my purpose or sole ambition in life, so if it doesn't happen because I don't find a suitable mate, then so be it. I wouldn't settle for having a kid with sh!tty woman and let that be my life for 18 years.


TL;DR ... I want to be a father and raise my own kid one day. Wondering the smartest way to approach this desire given the current marketplace and female proclivities these days. In no rush, and I'm not willing to sacrifice on the quality of a woman just for the sake of having a kid, so I can accept it if it doesn't happen... although I really look forward to potential fatherhood. Thoughts?

Most females want marriage and a child or three... eventually. IIWY, I'd spend the next few years playing the field and revisit the child thing in your mid 30's. Now it the time for fun and experiences.

 

[Max Baker]

I wanted kids in my twenties and thirties. Now due to a combination of my poor choices, bad luck with women, the wrong women I'm now 43 and no kids. Having said that, I've made peace with that and realize that in today's world its getting harder and harder to find a good woman who isn't all about Facebook, undamaged, to have a child with. Call me old fashioned, but i want my child to grow up having two parents that are together. Not being separated. The child suffers at this point, and the child doesn't deserve that. Not to mention the world we live in these days is rubbish, cold and only getting worse.

 

[metalwater]

If you're living in a Western Country, given the political and legal landscape, I personally think you'd be crazy to have kids here. You're putting a bullet in the chamber, spinning it, and clicking the gun to your head every day.

A woman can literally change her mind about you within a day. She may have worshipped you for years, and then one day decides that "you're out" and Johnny Depp yo ass.

All of the oppressive marriage laws we used to have in the West were solely in place to protect Men from a Woman's capricious ability to change her mind and monkey-branch. Women are chaos.

If you want kids then move to a more traditional country where true female nature is well understood.

yes; but still need to be aware. tradition still needs to be enforced and ALL of the sht that happens in the west will still happen if the man allows it.

 

[metalwater]

some truth to that dual thing that final is always telling. consider the man AND the girl in this video, both victim of her and a dude that is no good and her biology

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks for the props man. Ive been checking out some Rian Stone side bar videos. He is correct in saying there are no garentees in ANY relationship. Like you said just stay focused on yourself and keep digging.

I learned some new angles in those videos. Sometimes hearing it said other ways you get a better understanding of RP.

He seems to vanilla for me. I prefer Tusk and Troy. Ya I am based. It's not even a culture thing but that they approach. If you watch the 45min mark of their collaboration, the most recent version includes Chad Tusk dive into the existential crisis that follows Game. I admire the Bloke 40+ still in the game CRUSHING it. It's so foreign. I know most young blood have no spine. Busting a few nuts is enough to abandon game and stick head in the sand in blue pill cowardly fashion. the alternative is the opposite having gone through the fire and consciously playing the hand they are dealt.

It's been my experience not to be enamored. I don't get oneittus. I haven't since high school. At best, women i desire to smash and see again. Any intention beyond that is checked. It reminds me of a old free tour Ty video. he broken down into men projecting onto women some Disney world nonsense. It's the blue pill.

I am well aware that anything red pill gets views. I think very few guys are actually red pill especially on YouTube. Many are shills. Similarly, most men are here long enough to find someone willing. Rather than vet and a sort of barrier to entry.