poohead said:
My inner game needs a lot of work, but I noticed a positive development in the past couple of weeks that at least i'm not taking any s*** from women. I need to integrate this into my personality so that it becomes a solid sense of personal boundaries and confidence. Right now i'm just lashing out whenever i feel like i'm being disrespected.
Yep, big sign of insecurity. The lashing out, I mean. Further on in your story I got the distinct impression that she had picked up on that and was pushing your buttons.
poohead said:
She is smart and attractive, but she is your typical AW. Extremely full of herself to compensate for her f*ckd up life and her insecurities.
Well, if that's the case then why are you bothering with her? Or are you just telling yourself this because you feel that you failed and that she got the better of you somehow?
poohead said:
She had changed after my display of AFC'ness. Now, whenever we talk I feel like she is throwing me sh*t test after sh*t test, I feel like she is trying really hard to disqualify me and I have to really think on my feet. To be honest I don't even like talking to her any more because of all the sh*t tests, it's just extremely annoying to me now and is quickly killing off any sense of attraction I had for this girl.
I think that this is the result she wants to achieve, unfortunately. Oftentimes girls like to take the indirect route, i.e. getting you to break up with her so she doesn't have to break up with you.
poohead said:
-funny, relaxed casual convo, but then I happen to say something that triggers an immediate negative reaction in this biatch: i told her that i think women like sex just as much as men do, that society has conditioned them that to acknowledge their sexuality is shameful, and that is why they pretend like they don't like sex as much as men do.
This is argumentative. Number one, by saying this you are insinuating that she is part of this. It might be true, but that doesn't mean you want to say it. Also, if it was a "funny, relaxed" conversation, then how did it turn combative so quickly?
poohead said:
-she flies off the handle, and tries to prove me wrong, argues this crap to death until i tell her that i don't even want to talk about it. of course i'm absolutely convinced i'm right and that she is brainwashed like most people, into believing the opposite is true.
Or she could have misunderstood your point, or you could have made it sound a bit different than you did here, maybe more salacious or even creepy. HOW you word and say things is just as important as what you're saying.
poohead said:
-she then decides to pick on another issue: i had told her my iq (it's genius level, supposedly) when we started talking. this girl is such a nut/control freak that, after that, she has tried to make it a point to prove to me that she is smarter than me.
Why did you do that? You know she's highly insecure and intelligent. Let's make an analogy. Imagine her insecurity is the ocean, her sense of well-being is the ocean liner that's pulling away, and that she fell overboard. Her intelligence is the life preserver somebody threw her. She clings to it to keep her afloat. If you try to take it away, she will fight you.
Oh, and nobody gives a flying f*ck what your IQ is. Mine's genius level too. You know how many times I've mentioned it? One time, in this post. It sounds like you're trying WAY too hard. If you're smart, people (especially women) will pick up on that.
poohead said:
-she says: are you sure you are in mensa? i'm smarter than you in everything.
-me: that's because you monopolize the conversation and only talk about what you know.
This was bad. She tossed out the bait and you took it, hook, line, and sinker. Are you sure you're a genius? When you acknowledge these tactics, you give them power.
poohead said:
-her: name something, impress me. because right now i'm not feeling any attraction to you. say something.
-me: what do you want me to say.
-her: say something to prove to me how smart you are, because you sure don't act like you're smart, i told you i'm smarter than you in everything.
-me: (getting pissed) ok - can you read music?
Big mistake. You never, ever let her piss you off. If she can piss you off, she knows she can control your emotions at will. You've given away some of your power.
poohead said:
-her: yes
-me: what is the natural minor of d major?
-her: i don't know.
-me: well that's at least one subject that i am smarter than you in.
-her: (flying off the handle) that's it? you need to do a better job than that at impressing me.
-me: i have nothing to prove to you.
-her: you do if you want me to be attracted to you.
-me: (angry now) well if it involves me jumping through hoops or speaking some pretentious bullsh*t just to impress you, then no thanks. i don't care if you're attracted to me.
-her: (yelling some sh*t, i don't even hear it because i'm yelling some sh*t at her now.)
This is when your situation officially becomes FUBAR. F*cked Up Beyond All Repair (or recognition). While she sucks, you totally mismanaged the situation. We all do that though, just learn from it and move on. If I sounded harsh in the post, I don't mean it that way. It's tough love.
