I think she's cheated on me...what to do?

[Dave111]

my girlfriend went out with some girlfriends last night clubbing. She called me drunk at 330am in the morning last night telling me that some guy had tried to kiss her, etc etc.

I just told her not to worry about it and just go home and I'd speak to her tomorrow. Ten minutes later she calls me again, this time clearly upset and crying and telling me that "I need to tell you, something has happened tonight"!, Im like 'well go on then, tell me, and she tells me that this guy has actually tried to rape her and that he pinned her to the wall. She told me she kicked him in the nuts and ran away.

Basically my gut feeling is that she has met some dude and kissed him and cant find the guts to just tell me straight up what happened.

How do I deal with this? as I dont have any proof that anything did actually happened, but my instincts are rarely wrong and I would like to know what you guys would do with this situation? should I really challenge her on the subject or just let it pass?

 

[iluvfemales]

well if it is true that some guy tried to rape her then you should be concerned. Best way to see if shes lying is to have her tell you the story a few times. Ask her what happened. Then later in the day ask her about some detail from the story. If she starts switching up the story then you know somethings up (unless shes real good at lying). If you know her well then you can probably tell when shes lying. Just dont freak out on her if she is. Stay calm and composed so if she did cheat on you then at least you still come out the better person (which you are).

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - Dave111
my girlfriend went out with some girlfriends last night clubbing. She called me drunk at 330am in the morning last night telling me that some guy had tried to kiss her, etc etc

story no.1

she is drunk wh0ring and rings you cause she feels guilty

tried to kiss her ? did he kiss the air ?

Yoda - " do or do not THERE IS NO TRY "

so he kissed her ? she kissed him back ?

Ten minutes later she calls me again

story no.2

after she called you the first time she went and hooked up with him AGAIN an he tried to take it further ???

this time clearly upset and crying

a glitch in the matrix

deja vu ?

"I need to tell you, something has happened tonight"

umm.... she just ring you 10 minutes ago confessing ?

no ring the cops cause she was ALMOST raped ?

my money is she went and hooked up with HIM AGAIN

Im like 'well go on then, tell me,

ok this is a BIG CLUE

she didn't just ring up and say HELP ME AHHHH HELP ME

I JUST BEEN RAPED / ALMOST RAPED

HELP ME

you had to play GAMES with her

you had to DRAG the truth out of her

WHY ?

she is feeling GUILTY and she is TESTING THE WATER

how are you going to react to her confessing she is a cheating wh0re

she tells me that this guy has actually tried to rape her and that he pinned her to the wall. She told me she kicked him in the nuts and ran away.

he actually tried to rape her

where was she ?

how many witnesses ?

but she was out with friends

unless she went off ALONE WITH HIM to wh0re

he pinned her to the wall

dude if anyone seen a guying pinning a chick to a wall trying to rape her

that guy would get beaten to death

he story doesn't add up

unless she was somewhere alone with him ( why would she want that i wonder )

she kicked him in the nuts ?

ok i have never raped a chick. but if i ever did what would be the part of your body YOU PROTECT in a fight or while pinning a wh0re to the wall

YOUR NUTS

ok assume she kicked his nuts

she would need 100% accuracy and to be pinned you gotta be IN CLOSE too close for a kick

maybe a knee BUT HE HAS HOLD OF HER

a girl knees you in the nuts and you have hold of her

what then ? she gets BEATEN UP

no this didn't happen ?

we examined every possible scenario based on her STORIES ( plural )

IMPOSSIBLE

lol then she " ran away "

to where ? where did she run ?

where were her friends and witnesses and people to help ?

the guy must have been a slow runner cause if some chick kicked my nuts i would ignore the pain and hunt her down

is this guy still looking for her to seek vengance for his nuts ?

Basically my gut feeling is that she has met some dude and kissed him and cant find the guts to just tell me straight up what happened

i agree with your conclusion 100%

she possibly had sex with him too.

How do I deal with this?

dump her

as I dont have any proof that anything did actually happened

yes you have a confession from a drunken wh0re

you have her 2 phone calls and 2 stories

her stories have more holes in them than swiss cheese

my instincts are rarely wrong and I would like to know what you guys would do with this situation?

i would dump her. she is a cheating wh0re.

should I really challenge her on the subject

you can keep getting her to tell you more lies if you think it will give you the strength to walk away

or just let it pass?

that should not be an option

so you going to take her back when you walk in on her f*cking some dude from the clubs ?

yes ?

no ?

i guarantee she will cheat again after she told you ****$HIT TEST**** and you swallow it

she knows YOU ARE WEAK you are not a man

it will get worse and you will lose your self worth and self esteem because you are letting a woman stand over you



Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

 

[Unregistered]

It sounds a little fishy. The guy goes for the kiss, doesn't get it, so he goes for the "rape" 10 minutes later??

What I think might have happened, maybe it started off as casual flirting or dancing and this other guy tried to take it to the next level. Whether your girlfriend reciprocated or not is hard to say, but I'd assume there must have a been a certain level of disrespect towards you on her part. Girls get hit on all the time, especially in clubs, but only the biggest nutjob in the world tries to make out with a chick without getting some sort of previous signals from her.

Then again, maybe he was just a drunk *******. You should be careful with this. Don't make any accusations yet. Make her tell you the story to your face. Look straight at her, and ask her a lot of questions. It's natural for you be very curious about this anyways. You might want to talk to her friends about it as well.

I feel for you, I know how much it must suck to have this eating at you and just NOT KNOWING. Good luck brother.

 

[Skullcrusher]

Who cares, what happens at the club stays in the club.

And remember **** like this happens at a club all the time, she just feels guilty about it, Don't make a big deal out of it.

 

[DJStudent]

I have no idea what LIT posted but hope you got something out of it.

Iluv gave a good advice. Check her story a few times.

I think a few questions really comes to mind when you take a step back from the situation.

1. Why is she drunk in the first place?
2. Why at a club if she knows she can't control herself?
3. Why she suddenly changed stories

She sounded like a trouble girl for some reason. I highly doubt it if some guy was trying to rape her if her gf's was there. IF they weren't there then she was alone with this dude for no other reason, then to get to "know" him. From what I have seen and heard from my experience, she had hooked up with this guy and then felt guilty and for some reason thought that by telling you it would make her feel better.

Honestly I if I had "accidentally" hooked up with a girl, I wouldn't tell my girl about it.

Bottom line: If she's more trouble than she's worth, drop her.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

DJ L.I.T. has it down -- She would have told you there was an attempted rape in her FIRST phone call!!!!!!! Not the second call!!!

Tell this lying drunken hor to blow!!!!

Only hors go to clubs without their man and only chumps let them!!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This drunken hor went after him and went into isolation away from her friends but he got a little rough with her and treated her like the hor that she is and she got mad!!!!

Classic "Club hor" scenario!!!

 

[TheRelic]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover

Only hors go to clubs without their man and only chumps let them!!!!

F*cking AMEN to that!!!

 

[MindOverMatter]

I'll be brief.

Her story is weak, and only a sucker would buy it. Don't be that sucker.

 

[Qualtran]

Everyone has been pretty extreme in their responses so far... overreacting hotheads if you ask me...

I don't really see much of a reason to get all worked up at the girl, and try to do all that testing her story shlt. Even if she did kiss some dude, whatever, she was drunk and at a club. Of the guys who actually pull chicks here/have girlfriends, how many of you have kissed some girl who wasn't your girlfriend when you were trashed? That just happens sometimes, and its not like this guy's chick is now going to run off with the guy at the club. And what if she is telling the truth, this is definitely a pretty damn important time for him to be supportive of her.

If my girl said some guy tried to rape her, I would begin plotting how I was going to shoot his balls off rather than wondering if my girl was telling the truth!

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - Qualtran
overreacting hotheads if you ask me

you calling us all what ?

well i think you are IGNORANT and lack WISDOM

Quote - Qualtran
I don't really see much of a reason to get all worked up at the girl

she cheated and lied or cheated then was raped and lied or maybe even lied about that as well lol

Quote - Qualtran
Even if she did kiss some dude, whatever, she was drunk and at a club

hahaha your woman is kissing other men and you are like... so what ?

AFC b*tch

you assume she didn't give him a blow job in an alley behind the club and she is coming home and when she gets home she is gunna give you a big kiss Qualtran and you get a mouth full of another mans sperm

Quote - Qualtran
Of the guys who actually pull chicks here/have girlfriends, how many of you have kissed some girl who wasn't your girlfriend when you were trashed?

she is claiming more than kissing cause she is saying it got so sexual she is claiming rape

Qualtran : " what is your pu$$y all f*cked up tonight as i am eating you out "

Chick GF : " oh it's ok baby i just kissed some guy at the club and i was drunk and i know how you understand these things ...

i am not gunna either bother finishing that one

Quote - Qualtran
That just happens sometimes

LOL

Quote - Qualtran
and its not like this guy's chick is now going to run off with the guy at the club

YES SHE DID RUN OFF WITH HIM

away from friends and witnesses to help her

and when no one is around she says he tried to rape her

SHE DID RUN OFF she said so

Quote - Qualtran
And what if she is telling the truth, this is definitely a pretty damn important time for him to be supportive of her

yeah like : oh baby that is so terrible

you were drunk at the clubs with your wh0re single friends

kissing other men

you went somewhere ISOLATED to HAVE SEX with this man

and he tried to rape you ?

OH MY ! POOR BABY !

and you fought your way free ? THATS MY GIRL !

i am here for you baby and i'll be here for the next time it happens as well

Quote - Qualtran
If my girl said some guy tried to rape her, I would begin plotting how I was going to shoot his balls off rather than wondering if my girl was telling the truth!

AFC AFC AFC AFC

yeah go to jail for murder cause some b*tch tells you a story

DUMB

and before you reply read my post about b*tches and rape here

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=74149

that $hit should be in the DJ Bible so people like you can LEARN



Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[MindOverMatter]

oh baby that is so terrible

you were drunk at the clubs with your wh0re single friends

kissing other men

you went somewhere ISOLATED to HAVE SEX with this man

and he tried to rape you ?

OH MY ! POOR BABY !

and you fought your way free ? THATS MY GIRL !

i am here for you baby and i'll be here for the next time it happens as well

Lol, that almost sounds like an Eminem lyric

 

[Lost In Translation]

LOL yeah see my sig.

( he meant it as an insult at the time i think )

Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “

 

[Qualtran]

lol, thanks for taking the time to break down my thread there lost... Although I must say it seems much is being assumed about the situation based on a single post from mr. dave111...

I don't exactly post all the time, but I have noticed over the last few years on this forum guys overreacting more and more. Yeah there comes a time when you need to just NEXT a girl, but some of you seem to try so hard to not be your old AFC selves that you go to such an opposite extreme that you become a new type of AFC. You don't trust girls at all, you jump to conclusions, you say "dump the bytch" like its nothing. Yeah, you've worked on your DJ skills and you can pull plenty of chicks (I can attest to that), but you end up getting frustrated that no girl ever seems to make you happy. You start to watch out for every little bad sign, and ditch her as soon as you think she is doing something wrong!

The basic point I'm making is that jumping to conclusions based on a single post/concern/sign is stupid. Be wary like iluvfemales suggested, but following lost's advice to "dump her" based on what is known at this point is making an uniformed decision.

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote - Qualtran
lol, thanks for taking the time to break down my thread there lost

your welcome my fellow DJ

Quote - Qualtran
Although I must say it seems much is being assumed about the situation based on a single post from mr. dave111

i hope he posts a follow up to what her story was the next day

Quote - Qualtran
Yeah there comes a time when you need to just NEXT a girl, but some of you seem to try so hard to not be your old AFC selves that you go to such an opposite extreme that you become a new type of AFC. You don't trust girls at all, you jump to conclusions, you say "dump the bytch" like its nothing. Yeah, you've worked on your DJ skills and you can pull plenty of chicks (I can attest to that), but you end up getting frustrated that no girl ever seems to make you happy. You start to watch out for every little bad sign, and ditch her as soon as you think she is doing something wrong!

i agree with you there, jumping to conclusions can cost you

but forming your own conclusions based on evidence is sometimes all we have to solve a celebrity murder mystery

Quote - Qualtran
The basic point I'm making is that jumping to conclusions based on a single post/concern/sign is stupid

yes information is power

the more the thread starter can find out about what happened the easier it is to make the right decision.

BUT if you look you can see that before anyone posted even the guy posting the thread said he thought

Quote - Dave111
Basically my gut feeling is that she has met some dude and kissed him and cant find the guts to just tell me straight up what happened

he is at the scene of the crime

Quote - Qualtran
but following lost's advice to "dump her" based on what is known at this point is making an uniformed decision

what other information / clues / evidence can be gathered from his GF ?

i hope you have an answer because Dave111 can use your ideas to help him find out more information to make an informed decision


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Qualtran]

Unrelated to what I said before... but a thought:

I know of quite a few situations where it took someone cheating on their bf/gf to realize just how into the relationship they really are. Yeah, this sounds fvcked up, but I think when someone haphazardly cheats and immediately feels all kinds of remorse, guilt, etc, they realize how important the person they cheated on really is.

I hate to say this, but one of these sitautions was something I did. I was in a LTR and I started cheating on my chick with another girl. Yeah, I should have been dumped, but the gf never found out. What happened to me though was that after cheating I realized just how much I cared about my gf, and my feelings intensified for her very strongly. I stopped cheating immediately and me and the gf were closer than ever before and I was faithful the rest of the time we were together.

Btw, this is not advice! If you find out you have been cheated on, do "dump her!"

 

[JonJack]

Once the seed of doubt has been planted, there's no turning back. Unless of course one party is willing to forgive the other.

Here are a few scenarios:

1. Guy breaks it off, girl is unhappy and crawls back to guy. (This will most probably happen due to the fact that the girl actually called to "confess" instead of just keeping it quiet). But then the girl's wild, impulsive character is now out in the open and you will never be able to trust her again unless she decides to never leave your sight.

2. Guy confronts girl with his suspicions and tries to dig for the truth in order to salvage the relationship. Girls gets super defensive because her back's against the wall. She'll never admit. She'll start avoiding you. She will probably cut things off because she wants to avoid putting herself in situations where she has to see you, which reminds her of her "crime" and lies.

3. Guy confronts girl with his suspicions but girl is telling the truth or manages to convince the guy that she's telling the truth. Highly unlikely but she'll probably get some witnesses and friends to tell the guy that she wasn't lying. Guy slowly believes girl but girl is already disappointed in guy for not trusting her or for falling for her lies even more. Girl will hound guy about this fact for the rest of his life and the guy will lose her respect.

4. Guy doesn't confront girl. Guy tries to suppress these thoughts. Guy fails in suppressing. Guy becomes controlling, paranoid, aggressive. Girl hates this change and dumps guy.


Once you start doubting your partner, you're in for one hell of a ride man. Best thing to do to avoid these sort of situations is to just don't give a fvck. If you suspect foul play, then dump her. Even though she might be telling the truth, it's still the best course of action since there already was doubt.

Be extremely careful with doubt. It's one of the major relationship killers.

 

[Dave111]

Outcome.....

Hi there, well I spoke to her yesterday afternoon and I didn't mention anything about her drunken phone call to me, just to see if she would say anything and alas!......she magically seemed to forget that she had called me four times during the night in tears to tell me that some guy had tried to kiss/rape/propose to her. The thing is, she is desperate to immigrate to australia (she lives here in the UK) and she tells me this guy was an Aussie! wow!, what a coincidence that is, he could get her a greencard straight to melbourne lol

She hasn't contacted me for the past day now and I think my instincts are going to be proved right. I just want to confront her face to face about it and tell her to forget having any future with me because she cannot be trusted. I gave her the chance yesterday to tell me, but she didn't so I am taking matters into my own hands now and I'm going to be the one that jumps first. She's apparantly never been dumped before, but hey..! there's a 1st time for everything!

I want to be able to remain calm and in control when telling her my reasons for ending it, I will keep you posted on the outcome

Dave111

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

An attempted rape and she says nothing about it when she is sober the next day??? What trauma!

She doesn't want to tell you the truth that she was horing!!!

Unvelievable - kick this hor to the curb or all the way to Australia!!!

Hey DJ Lost - there is a hor from the UK coming your way...another one to fill your streets in Australia - this is good for the pimps down under!!!