I think everybody's problems with women can be boiled down to a simple problem...

[Falfa]

...which is a lack of strength.

I'm talking about emotional and psychological strength here.

Face it, guys: "game," is just a way of projecting your personal confidence onto a woman in a way that encourages her to have sex with you. If you have "weak game," it's because you're a weak person and need to do some reevaluating and critical thinking about how to repair yourself.

People, in general, want to be with other strong people. I think the only exception are those who are those who are actively seeking out people to manipulate/use and those desperate for any kind of human contact. If you fail a girl's sht tests, you should not frame it as a "bad approach" or "bad game." You should frame it as a situation where your target detected weakness in you.

Fix that weakness and what people call "game," will come naturally to you.

 

[georgie24]

im going to go fap

someone cliff the OP post

gmoney24

 

[Mike32ct]

I was thinking about this a lot recently.

All the looks/money/status sh$t aside, it really is a mental game.

A guy who is very mentally strong can get some women.

I don't necessarily mean intelligent. That's not the same thing. In fact really bright guys can sometimes have less control over their emotions.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Disagree, you can be emotionally strong as you want, if she is into tall blonde muscular guys and you are a short skinny black man no amount of psychological and emotional strenght can do it, same if she is into the jock type and you are a serious religious guys.

Sure what you say makes sense but its probably a single factor of the total equation, I think you can be emotionally weak as long as you are so hot that your girls recognize that others girls are flying around you like vultures or the others parts of you all make full marks.

 

[The Gambler]

Disagree, you can be emotionally strong as you want, if she is into tall blonde muscular guys and you are a short skinny black man no amount of psychological and emotional strenght can do it, same if she is into the jock type and you are a serious religious guys.

Sure what you say makes sense but its probably a single factor of the total equation, I think you can be emotionally weak as long as you are so hot that your girls recognize that others girls are flying around you like vultures or the others parts of you all make full marks.

I agree with this. There's nothing wrong with general rules, or rules of thumb if you will, but I am not a fan of categorizing women too broadly. They have different personality types, different likes, different aspirations. Falfa has made an observation that is often true, but certainly not always.

The Gambler

 

[Falfa]

Disagree, you can be emotionally strong as you want, if she is into tall blonde muscular guys and you are a short skinny black man no amount of psychological and emotional strenght can do it, same if she is into the jock type and you are a serious religious guys.

Sure what you say makes sense but its probably a single factor of the total equation, I think you can be emotionally weak as long as you are so hot that your girls recognize that others girls are flying around you like vultures or the others parts of you all make full marks.

I think you're investing too much into the superficial. I'm of the impression that looks don't really matter nearly as much as presence, status, and personality.

For men choosing female mates, yes, looks are of primary importance.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that looks don't matter, but their importance is marginal. I bodybuild. I can say, objectively, that I look better than most men. Even when I'm at the gym with other guys who lift weights consistently, I am still one of the best looking guys there.

When I thought I could go out and get ass by simply standing around at house parties and bars, there were no women "flying around me like vultures." In fact, I always left (alone), dejected and shaking my head, wondering how women could go for guys who lacked my muscularity, intelligence, etc.

Male attractiveness is in his ability to project power. At that point in my life, I wasn't leveraging my attractiveness, my power, or anything else. There were guys who were more outgoing, establishing presence, engaging everybody around them--those were the guys who were scoring tail.

And it's not easy to be that guy. It takes a lot of confidence, inner strength, and the courage and capacity to lead a group.

Women will take cues from how other men treat you. If you are being deferred to and the men all seem to be under your sway, women are going to naturally gravitate towards you. This is what being "alpha" is. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a room full of my guy friends and a woman will walk in and ask, "so who's the boss around here?" or something to that effect.

Is the "boss" always the biggest, roughest, and toughest guy? No.

Does being big, attractive, and pugilistic make you the automatic alpha in a group of men? Absolutely not.

I mean, I understand the common impression regarding why the stereotypical hot, jock guy always seems to be the guy slaying every club skank who waggles her ass through the door on drink special night--most guys simply don't possess the inner strength to stand up to that person and wrest the alpha spot from him. Does the good-looking guy have a natural advantage? Sure. Does that mean he's set upon some unreachable, Buddha-like perch that's unshakable? Gimme a break.

So, I'm going to have to disagree with you here on this whole idea that looks are the basis for female attractiveness, or that it somehow is going to trump an emotionally strong, high-status guy if the two went head-to-head.

 

[Gro0ver]

There are a couple of important points that haven't been addressed here though:

1) Going for girls that aren't into you

You can't force attraction, the fact is no matter how tight your game is, some women just won't be into you. That's a fact that everyone has to deal with, so don't waste time with these broads, move on. If you doing part 2), it won't bother you so much when this happens.

2) Create opportunities to meet decent women

Being at the right places at the right time, and recognising opportunities (e.g. reading signals). This way you can have a constant number of plates in your rotation and can get more almost at will. This will help address "dry spells" as well.


My point is, you can have tight game, emotional strength, ripped biceps, etc but if you're doing the above 2 wrong then you still won't have as much success as you feel you should be rewarded with.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Male attractiveness is in his ability to project power. At that point in my life, I wasn't leveraging my attractiveness, my power, or anything else. There were guys who were more outgoing, establishing presence, engaging everybody around them--those were the guys who were scoring tail.

And it's not easy to be that guy. It takes a lot of confidence, inner strength, and the courage and capacity to lead a group.

Women will take cues from how other men treat you. If you are being deferred to and the men all seem to be under your sway, women are going to naturally gravitate towards you.

:rockon:
This is the best distillation of attraction and game I've ever read on SS. Projection of power is the fundamental of attraction that every DJ should hold in his consciousness at all times. It is the core upon which all other qualities are built.

 

[Mike32ct]

Who Dares Wins:

I'm not discounting looks at all. Of course that comes first and is usually make or break. I agree 100%. An ugly Z e n master probably won't pull. But a decent looking guy who can stay calm and not phased by rejection can do ok with the ladies.

I was hoping to avoid the tired (and largely settled) looks debate .

I'm just saying from a purely "game" perspective, game is largely being mentally and emotionally strong. From THAT perspective, I agree with the OP. But it's a supplement, not a replacement for looks.

 

[Atom Smasher]

For a man, looks is 80% clothing, 15% being in shape, and 5% genetic, intrinsic "good looks".

I myself notice that I get a vast amount of more attention when I'm working out than when I slack off. Ditto on decent outfits compared to super-casual.

Now take that 80% of clothing and realize that 80% of that is about SHOES and the rest is pants, shirt, and watch. The first thing a women will look at to evaluate you is your shoes. She reads a tremendous amount from them. I just bought a new pair of blue kicks and I'm getting complimented all over the place. This never happens with pants, belts, and only very rarely with shirts. Shoes and watches are key.

My point here is that the male analog for female makeup is clothing/wardrobe and looking fit. Even a heavy man who is on the right track of losing weight is more attractive than a similar man who is not. He exudes a certain air of accomplishment.

Why is this? Because these things convey to the world that a man has self-respect (is powerful). Projection of power is what it's all about. And you need to project power to yourself, not just to the world. Chew on that for a while.

As an added bonus, let he who has an ear hear: Learn what "assumed authority" is.

 

[zekko]

Disagree, you can be emotionally strong as you want, if she is into tall blonde muscular guys and you are a short skinny black man no amount of psychological and emotional strenght can do it, same if she is into the jock type and you are a serious religious guys.

Mike said that a guy who is mentally strong can get some women. He didn't say they could get any woman. No one can get any woman. A lot of guys come here because they want to win a particular woman. Maybe they can get her, and maybe they can't. What they try to teach here is how to get some women, and not to waste time on the ones who aren't interested in you.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that looks don't matter, but their importance is marginal. I bodybuild. I can say, objectively, that I look better than most men. Even when I'm at the gym with other guys who lift weights consistently, I am still one of the best looking guys there.

Honestly, guys on this forum claiming to be exceptionally good looking are a dime a dozen. If everybody here was as good looking as they claimed most of them wouldn't even need to be here. Also, having bigger muscles than the next guy does not necessarily mean you are better looking.

I've seen the way women treat good looking guys (I'm pretty average looking, myself). They give them every opportunity to pick them up. I agree with your points about projecting power and such. And I agree that looks do not guarantee you women. But to be a good looking guy and not be able to get laid you pretty much have to be a complete dunderhead.

For a man, looks is 80% clothing, 15% being in shape, and 5% genetic, intrinsic "good looks".

Wow, can't agree with that, Smasher. I'm not going to assign percentages, but I think you're way overvaluing the clothes, and way undervaluing the genetics (please note I am not saying that clothes don't matter). If what you are saying were true, any guy could turn himself into a stud just by dressing well.

 

[st_99]

...which is a lack of strength.

I'm talking about emotional and psychological strength here.

Face it, guys: "game," is just a way of projecting your personal confidence onto a woman in a way that encourages her to have sex with you. If you have "weak game," it's because you're a weak person and need to do some reevaluating and critical thinking about how to repair yourself.

People, in general, want to be with other strong people. I think the only exception are those who are those who are actively seeking out people to manipulate/use and those desperate for any kind of human contact. If you fail a girl's sht tests, you should not frame it as a "bad approach" or "bad game." You should frame it as a situation where your target detected weakness in you.

Fix that weakness and what people call "game," will come naturally to you.

i agree with this. i know its a total cliche but it really is all about confidence. Real confidence, not acting confident and then breaking down at the first hint of adversity.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Wow, can't agree with that, Smasher. I'm not going to assign percentages, but I think you're way overvaluing the clothes, and way undervaluing the genetics (please note I am not saying that clothes don't matter). If what you are saying were true, any guy could turn himself into a stud just by dressing well.

That's 'cause you're looking at it with male logic.

Women's language and economy tend to be clothing and acoutraments. Clothing speaks to them BIG-time, far more than it speaks to us. They will read a billion things into a man's attire, so I like to give them something good to read.

 

[omega05]

I think the clothes you wear can bring out the confidence in you. I know i have days where i dont feel as confident if im wearing a shirt/jeans that are a bit too baggy versus wearing a fitted polo and fitting jeans or even a dress shirt/ dress pants/ and dress shoes. Stuff like clothes though can easily be changed so after you change your clothes then what?

"Go hit the gym".

After that then what?
All these are ways to improve looks but it takes way more than looks to pull women.

 

[Mike32ct]

Clothing can help a guy's attractiveness by playing the money angle. Without seeing your car, she goes by the value of your watch, shoes, and other clothes.

But as for clothes making a not good looking guy better looking, I'm not so sure.

If the guy is already good looking, nice clothes range from unnecessary to a bonus.

For a guy that is not good looking, nice clothes range from very slightly helpful to neutral to tryhard in womens' eyes.

I love to dress up. For a straight dude, I LOVE clothing and fashion stuff, but I do it for me. I never noticed much difference either way with women.

As always, YMMV.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Shoes: a couple weeks ago I was talking with a female acquaintance/colleague. She is mid-40s I would guess; nothing going on between us whatsover. I was wearing a suit and for no reason at all, during a conversation we were having, she commented that my shoes were gorgeous, that she really liked them. I admit that they look different than most shoes I've seen, which is why I like them -- the brand is San Remo.

Huh? Really, what the heck is it with women and shoes????? Can someone please explain because I tend to prefer comfy, laid back, blah looking shoes.

 

[Trump]

"game," is just a way of projecting your personal confidence onto a woman in a way that encourages her to have sex with you. If you have "weak game," it's because you're a weak person and need to do some reevaluating and critical thinking about how to repair yourself.

Think you are confusing the issues.

"Weak game" does not necessarily mean you are a "weak person". You could be the toughest CEO in Eastern US and have 100 people under you who are scared to death when you walk into the room. Your friends, employees, and associates could respect the hell out of you. Doesn't mean you will be able to attract women.

Strong/weak person relates to money and respect
Strong/weak game relates to emotions and feelings.

Same reason there are guys who are jobless with no career and little money, but can evoke powerful sexy feelings in the hottest girl, and vice versa.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've always wondered why women are into shoes too. It's not a f o o t fetish. Only men have those.

Shoes are the only clothing item/accessory that affect height (for both sexes) due to varying thicknesses. Thus womens' interest in shoes might (unconsciously) tie in (pun intended) with their natural height wh@rush tendencies.

 

[Falfa]

For a man, looks is 80% clothing, 15% being in shape, and 5% genetic, intrinsic "good looks".

I myself notice that I get a vast amount of more attention when I'm working out than when I slack off. Ditto on decent outfits compared to super-casual.

Now take that 80% of clothing and realize that 80% of that is about SHOES and the rest is pants, shirt, and watch. The first thing a women will look at to evaluate you is your shoes. She reads a tremendous amount from them. I just bought a new pair of blue kicks and I'm getting complimented all over the place. This never happens with pants, belts, and only very rarely with shirts. Shoes and watches are key.

My point here is that the male analog for female makeup is clothing/wardrobe and looking fit. Even a heavy man who is on the right track of losing weight is more attractive than a similar man who is not. He exudes a certain air of accomplishment.

Why is this? Because these things convey to the world that a man has self-respect (is powerful). Projection of power is what it's all about. And you need to project power to yourself, not just to the world. Chew on that for a while.

As an added bonus, let he who has an ear hear: Learn what "assumed authority" is.

Gonna have to disagree with you here. I'd say that a man's genetics and fitness trump "fashion."

I go out to clubs in a $10 shirt I got from Zara and see the same results I'd get if I were wearing an overpriced, $80 Ralph Lauren shirt. So long as you're not going out of your way to look chitty, you should be fine.

Genetics and fitness mitigate physical unattractiveness. Clothing might hide it. At the end of the day, I'd say that it's a better long-term investment to dedicate yourself to fitness than to drop an obscene amount of money buying designer brands.

Maybe if you want to do that stuff after you've built a nice physique, I could judge it as appropriate.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Shoes: a couple weeks ago I was talking with a female acquaintance/colleague. She is mid-40s I would guess; nothing going on between us whatsover. I was wearing a suit and for no reason at all, during a conversation we were having, she commented that my shoes were gorgeous, that she really liked them. I admit that they look different than most shoes I've seen, which is why I like them -- the brand is San Remo.

Huh? Really, what the heck is it with women and shoes????? Can someone please explain because I tend to prefer comfy, laid back, blah looking shoes.

Simple. Women tend to hate feet overall. They often dislike their own and they usually dislike other's. Shoes dress up and "fix" what to them is the ugliest part of the body.