I Retire From "DJing" My Girl Left ME For Good, I feel like ish.

[bfl]

words cannot explain how fuked up i feel right now. although it seemed like a hopeful and smooth break up.... it happened yesterday, she said that she needed a break and that her dad doesnt want to see her with me and that she had an argument with her mom about me, (Remember my previous thread about the alteration at work)

So basicly her family is against me and most of the people at work too, she says that now she is scare of me, and that she cant sleep. She said that she needed a break , and that we could be friends, i pulled out all of my djing philosophy on her for like 20 mins straight thats when things got a lil better and she said that we could still talk but as friends, so by then i said to myself that its time to stop the dj talk bs and just be real honest and myself cause this was my main and the girl that i love to death, so i told her straight up that i loved her and that i didnt wanted to lose her over something so stupid, i told her that i was sorry etc...etc...

She said that she needed a break and that we could be friends, so i didnt want to force it nomore, i couldnt, so i said....ok in a sad look in my face, she looked at me sad too like she didnt want to do it, then she said that she had to go home and that she would call me, as yall might be thinking, no she didnt call me.


The way i feel right now is like i dont want to dj no more, although im only 19 yrs old. i feel like that girl was the love of my life and for losing my cool in a split second i messed everything up, yeah i feel like i can get any girl i desire and when i see girl my type i get the"Go talk to her" attitude but even if i do that i still dont feel good without my baby.

I dont know how to deal with this, i dont feel bad bad bad but u know i feel bad although its not as bad as in other peoples cases, i still feel like a deep scar that wont heel unless i get back with her.

So Dj's and Sosuave.com thanx for all your help in this past yrs since i register, but unless somebody helps me out here and puts some snese into my head i will just be a stupid loveless loser for not taking your advice in the past .

 

[Kerensky]

Feel better man. Let it out for like a week or so. Then get on with your life. Pick yourself up, from the ultimate low. The hardest blow you've received in your life. Realize that there is so much more out there, and not just in terms of women for you. Realize that you are a man.

A man that won't be held back, but an empty memory. Good luck mate...bestwishes to you.

 

[xiola]

life will go on

b

 

[Mortukai]

Erm, I don't think you've actually been DJing. You've just been imitating DJ behaviours. A DJ would never let themselves fall so hard for one girl. I think it's called oneitis. It's a one way trip to AFCville. You may have been acting like a DJ around her, but you weren't actually a DJ because your attitude wasn't that you were the prize, and that she had to earn you, or you would walk.

About your other post you mentioned, with the argument you two had: that should never have happened. You allowed **** to get to you. A DJ doesn't let anything get to him. He is in full control at all times. When you got angry, that was your inner AFC lashing out.

But anyways, I know how you feel. We all do. That's why we're all here. You can either re-read the DJ Bible and try to truly understand what being a DJ is really about (I'll give you a hint: it's not about getting girls), or you can whimper in a corner and resent your life and your ex and yourself. But you can't say you're gonna quit DJing, because you've never really DJed.

 

[bfl]

yeh....but dang...

any tips in how to overcome this?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by bfl
yeh....but dang...

any tips in how to overcome this?

This is another reason why this site needs a damn LTR forum. Most guys (especially the younger ones) are completely lost and don't understand that you have to adjust the techniques for a LTR.

bfl, I said I wasn't going to do this because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to lure people onto my new forum, but dammit...I started a LTR forum to try to demonstrate to Allen how badly one is needed on this site. There are only a few members at this point but if you want to discuss and learn how to manage a LTR then please feel free to click on my signature link and take part in this new extended forum. There's not much there yet, but I think those with interest will share what they have learned and eventually provide a good source of information regarding LTRs. I've already made it clear that Allen will be more than welcome to copy what I have done and transfer it all to this site should he be convinced to set up a LTR section here. I'm just so frustrated by seeing so many posts like yours where you guys find a girl you'd like to hold onto and end up flying blind in an actual relationship because of lack of content on the subject here. I'm tired of just biotching about it, so I decided to just take action.

 

[bfl]

i just gotta give u thanx for that forum, i already feel better just by reading one post in there no lie, i see all my mistakes too.

oh and yeah, im registering, a forum like that in this site would be the nail in the coffin

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

As I stated mant times - only love your wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BFL, were you sexing her?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by bfl
i just gotta give u thanx for that forum, i already feel better just by reading one post in there no lie, i see all my mistakes too.

oh and yeah, im registering, a forum like that in this site would be the nail in the coffin

I'm glad you are feeling better. There's no guarantee that you will be able to sort things out with this girl...but if you can't you should at least try to learn something from it.

I will be logging off soon, but I'll check for any posts you make about this situation and see if I can come up with any ideas for you. Hang in there...whatever the outcome...you'll feel better about things in time.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
As I stated mant times - only love your wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BFL, were you sexing her?

In a relationship a guy cannot be happy and fulfilled unless he feels sexually content. Likewise, a girl or woman cannot be happy and fulfilled unless she feels emotionally content. She NEEDS to feel loved and know she is loved or it will not last. Refusing to show and express love to the female you are in a relationship with is the equivalent to refusing to have sex. Each gender has needs in a relationship and unless the needs of BOTH partners are met it will not last and will not be a healthy or happy relationship.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I agree with you Wild-Woman-On-Fire but a man needs a reason to "love" a woman!! Sex pleasure/attraction is part of that reason!!!

 

[bfl]

man see how quick i get answers to my situation, and i was wondering why we dont have sex as often as before , duhh cause my dumbass was trying to be too machoman not showing her that i do care and love her...i always got mad for any lil bs that she said....

oh man...why couldnt i find that site 2 days earlier

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
This is another reason why this site needs a damn LTR forum. Most guys (especially the younger ones) are completely lost and don't understand that you have to adjust the techniques for a LTR.

bfl, I said I wasn't going to do this because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to lure people onto my new forum, but dammit...I started a LTR forum to try to demonstrate to Allen how badly one is needed on this site. There are only a few members at this point but if you want to discuss and learn how to manage a LTR then please feel free to click on my signature link and take part in this new extended forum. There's not much there yet, but I think those with interest will share what they have learned and eventually provide a good source of information regarding LTRs. I've already made it clear that Allen will be more than welcome to copy what I have done and transfer it all to this site should he be convinced to set up a LTR section here. I'm just so frustrated by seeing so many posts like yours where you guys find a girl you'd like to hold onto and end up flying blind in an actual relationship because of lack of content on the subject here. I'm tired of just biotching about it, so I decided to just take action.

There is no such thing as a LTR with a girl who is 19-23 years old. Most women are of no use at that age and are very imature. I've went through the experience of learning that the hard way myself.

The only thing they are good for at that age is fun. You can't expect anything out of them at that age.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by bfl
man see how quick i get answers to my situation, and i was wondering why we dont have sex as often as before , duhh cause my dumbass was trying to be too machoman not showing her that i do care and love her...i always got mad for any lil bs that she said....

oh man...why couldnt i find that site 2 days earlier

How do you know it was your fault? Stop thinking that way.

You have to realize that when a woman wants you she will put up with all the crap you dish out. She will fight against her parents for you. She will cook for you and always try to make you happy. If a girl doesn't act that way then you don't really have much of anything to work with to begin with. Under that situation your relationship will end eventually anyway.

So don't blame yourself for being a machoman. I know for a fact that when a girl likes you she will ALWAYS see you in a good way.

You told this girl that you loved her and she didn't seem to care. Do you have any idea how important that statement to her was? I tell you that she has other reasons for breaking up with you. Maybe she is like all the other 19-23 year olds out there who want to have "fun". If that is the case then she is useless to you.

She sounded like a **** girl to have a LTR with. don't worry however, she will become a **** doll and one day be lonely at 30.

btw,
"I need a break" is womanease for

"I want to f-uck other guys and have a few more co-cks in my mouth before I get serious."

 

[Climax]

My 2c...

00Kevin: I agree with what u say, except for these things:

You have to realize that when a woman wants you she will put up with all the crap you dish out.

and

I know for a fact that when a girl likes you she will ALWAYS see you in a good way.

You are giving the impression that you think that you can act as you please, do what you want, and if the girl likes you, she will put up with it... That is NOT true at all. Swap the situation around, if you like a girl a lot, even LOVE the girl, and she gives you a lot of sh!t, are you telling me that you are going to put up with it? NO! You will do something about it. In a relationship both partners need to work on making each other HAPPY, NOT having to put up with "sh!t" that you put each other through. And if she does something wrong etc, then u wont always see it in a "good way", because after all, YOU are just human, as she is too. If she does something wrong, then u WONT see it as right, and visa versa.


bfl: Don’t worry too much about it.... I went through something similar a few weeks ago ( A break up with a girl that I was convinced I was in love with ) and after breaking up with her I was feeling JUST the way you are feeling right now. But then I thought it all out abit, and I told myself that this girl was 17, I was 18, and I was just fooling myself into thinking that we would work out and live happily ever after, because the chances of a LTR lasting and working out well at such a young age are VERY slim, near impossible.

Think to yourself like this.. this girl was a girl that you had a lot of feelings for, but now she is in the past, and that’s where she needs to stay, now take HER as a learning experience, and then go find yourself a new girl, only this time you will know what to do, and what NOT to do, so that you will make the next lucky girl happy, as she will hopefully do for you too.

Girls in general at this age don’t have a clue what they really want, the one day they will want to have a bf and marry him one day etc etc, and the next morning she will be giving you speeches about how she thinks that she might not want to be in a relationship at the moment, and then jump to apologizing to you for thinking like that and telling you that they never want to loose you and they want to spend the rest of their lives with you etc etc. I have learnt that the hard way, as you have too, but we need to see it as a learning opportunity, so that the next lucky girl will be a success.

I personally don’t plan on getting into a LTR any time soon though, I think I'll wait a few years before going into another one of those. And when I do, I will make sure that she will be mature and READY for it, unlike my previous attempt of making a LTR work with a 17 year old girl.

Anyways man.. I hope you feel better, and if you have any other problems/questions etc, feel free to ask.


Laterz...

 

[RAFCbearfilm]

You could look at it another way...
I got in an accident when I first lost my license, I am pretty sure it wasn't my fault, but I could have avoided it if I only had a little more experience. Did not stop me from getting behind the wheel again though. Then I had another accident that was surely my fault, I still got behind the wheel and kept at it, and after a time I quit having accidents! Quitters never win adn winers never quit!

 

[nonstop]

Originally posted by bfl
yeh....but dang...

any tips in how to overcome this?

buy a backpack, go travelling, set goals, stop thinking, change routine, hang with friends and family, meet new people, read forums, change jobs, find out who you are, change your thinking, better yourself, give it time, believe in yourself.

the good news is you are already asking how you can overcome this and some people never get that far. If you ask yourself how you can do something over and over your brain will find ways of doing it, maybe in your sleep or maybe in everyday life but it will find a way and sooner than you think. repeat the mantra over and over everyday and your brain will find a way.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by bfl
She said that she needed a break , and that we could be friends, i pulled out all of my djing philosophy on her for like 20 mins straight thats when things got a lil better and she said that we could still talk but as friends, so by then i said to myself that its time to stop the dj talk bs and just be real honest and myself cause this was my main and the girl that i love to death, so i told her straight up that i loved her and that i didnt wanted to lose her over something so stupid, i told her that i was sorry etc...etc...

You've been brainwashed by the media. You watch and believe too many sappy love story type movies. This "heart-wrenching" apology and profession of your undying love for her only works in the movies. You came off as a total needy, unmanly AFC. She's probably even more repelled with the idea of getting back together with you after that. You nailed your own coffin. Sorry to break this to you. Stick with DJ'ing.

As for why things went wrong. You have only yourself to blame. Don't use tools (i.e, DJ'ing) that you don't fully understand. You can hurt yourself and others. With many other things in life, misuse can lead to disaster. You ignored the warning labels, blame yourself.

Better luck next time,

peace

 

[CraigMack]

Originally posted by Mortukai
Erm, I don't think you've actually been DJing. You've just been imitating DJ behaviours. A DJ would never let themselves fall so hard for one girl. I think it's called oneitis. It's a one way trip to AFCville. You may have been acting like a DJ around her, but you weren't actually a DJ because your attitude wasn't that you were the prize, and that she had to earn you, or you would walk.

About your other post you mentioned, with the argument you two had: that should never have happened. You allowed **** to get to you. A DJ doesn't let anything get to him. He is in full control at all times. When you got angry, that was your inner AFC lashing out.

But anyways, I know how you feel. We all do. That's why we're all here. You can either re-read the DJ Bible and try to truly understand what being a DJ is really about (I'll give you a hint: it's not about getting girls), or you can whimper in a corner and resent your life and your ex and yourself. But you can't say you're gonna quit DJing, because you've never really DJed.

Well put. This guy is no DJ, acting emotional like a female. I'm sorry BFL, but you need to get your act together. Your post is a embarrassment to this forum.

I can only ask that the mods rip it down.

This site is for learning how to get women, not posting about how your falling apart and giving up.

Diablo needs to crack his whip on these kind of posts. Maybe Allen could open up a special whine section as he did for the old guys. Then those of us who want to read quality posts will not become innundated with all of these fake men acting like women!

BFL:

I do hope everything works out for you. There are some good tools on this site, and maybe it's time that you and others like you used them!

 

[bfl]

Dang people i gotta thanx yall from the bottom of my heart, i feel way better now that ive read your advice , she is the one losing here not me, i know for a fact that she will never find a man like me that treats loves her, and as good as me, she just making my life easier and happier by breaking up with me, thanx yall.

I just called my friend up to celebrate the break up as a matterfact, we going out to eat.


Oh and about the skydiving i would love to join you all for that exciting experience.


Man life is good!!!!!!! I love this forum man i feel like nothing ever happened!!!:cheer: