I recently realised i have big problems

Packers2010

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lately i have hit a down spiral in my life and it's hurting me.

i have realized I'm not dominant at all. like. 2 weekends ago i had a girl right in front of me and i didn't kiss her. i didn't even attempt to. i just stood there. like an idiot.

this hurts me because i have decided I'm not going to fap any more. i realize this is a problem in my life. i haven't in like 4 days. before that was 10 days. it's hard for me because I am addicted to porn. I love the high it gives me. because i can't get a real girl in the club. ( it's " too hard " for me. m brain won't allow it yet) i fall for the idea of porn and what it dose. it gives me the feeling i have someone or I am intimate with.

right now. i'm horny as fcuk. I would do a 2 if it meant i could bust a nut. which is bad sure. what's worse is, deep down inside, i know i can't do it. i have blocking stopping me from being able to do it.

what i find strange about this is 2 years ago i had sex with my ontitis girl. at the time i pretty much did everything down to a T. i was persistent. i was clear in my intentions and i was stopping at nothing to get what I want.

sure I Was needy as fcuk and i let another guy creep in and take her. but that's not the sex side of things. that was my oneitis taking over. but for one moment there I did it like an " alpha " would.

now, i can't do anything. all i want to do is have sex and i can't it's like i walk into the club. get politely turned down by about 10-15 girls, then i go home again. it's pathetic.

I'm not sure if it's ME, or i should just wait and it will come to me. I've been in the game awhile now and i still have HUGE blockers that are telling me i shouldn't do it.

sometimes when i look at girls and think they are cute, i get that feeling that tells me not to do anything. it's my AA acting up. though this feeling comes all the time. when i see them at the shops. when I'm at school i notice 3 girls looking at me. i can't even look at them.

I'm starting to think " what's the point any more?" progress is so slow i may as well go back to fapping. buy a paid porn site and just concentrate on living by my self and working on my career.

i'm just tired of this. I want sex to just like every other guy out there but i can't get it. it feels like it's just out of my reach. I'm going to see therapist about this. but right now i can't afford the 100$ it is to go see them. as soon as i can i will be there, becuse this is a big problem in my life and i want it fix as soon as possible.
 

JohnChops

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No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
half the battle is realizing you have a problem, as they say in AA lol. But you need to kill that desperation and just live your own life. You seem way to outcome dependent which cripples you when you try to interact with anyone, not just women.

Once you can live a happy and meaningful life WITHOUT women, then you can start to obtain them to join your happy life. No girl will ever want to join some sad mans life. All she sees is a boring, depressed, and unhopeful future.

Seriously Packers, you have been here for awhile now, longer than me, if you haven't done the leg work to start improving yourself then start NOW.

1. Gym, get fit.
2. Find hobbies, even if you have to do them alone
3. Socialize
4. Get a job or two and GET MONEY!
5. Read articles here, there so many on self improvement its INSANE. And there are motivational ones as well if you need a kick start.
6 and 7 would be living a life without women and then finally obtaining them since you have YOUR SH1T TOGETHER FINALLY.

You need to take a step back and say , "Woah I need to improve ASAP!" "I need to kill this desperate outlook I have!" "I must kill the need to be outcome dependent". Seriously. You don't need to get a prostitute, you don't need any fancy car, though it would help, you don't need sh1t except a great attitude and body to go with it.

Stop complaining, shut your computer off, UNPLUG IT DAMN IT, GET OFF SOSUAVE, AND GO OUT AND START IMPROVING YOUR LIFE TODAY!
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Ronaldo7

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It's all in your attitude. You sound very, very pessimistic. As long as you have that mindset, you will never get laid. Change your way of thinking to a positive energy and always tell yourself that you will reach your goal.
 

mv.89

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I have the exact same feeling but I can control my masturbation though. I do it only on weekends. The thing I find annoying is that after many a attempts lets say I'm courting a girl get her number through online or pof when it'll come time to meet em **** happens and it just doesn't happen.
I'm fit and drive an expensive car too but I think what his and my problem is "desperation" and I think women can sense it. Is it possible ? could it actually be sensed?
 

Packers2010

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Zion said:
The fact that you want sex so much makes you very outcome dependent. That's probably your biggest problem.
yeah... i though about that today...

i guess since i decided not to fap it's kind of made me more outcome dependant.

last night was a pretty bad night for me. though now i have fapped i think it will get better.
 

Packers2010

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JohnChops said:
half the battle is realizing you have a problem, as they say in AA lol. But you need to kill that desperation and just live your own life. You seem way to outcome dependent which cripples you when you try to interact with anyone, not just women.

Once you can live a happy and meaningful life WITHOUT women, then you can start to obtain them to join your happy life. No girl will ever want to join some sad mans life. All she sees is a boring, depressed, and unhopeful future.

Seriously Packers, you have been here for awhile now, longer than me, if you haven't done the leg work to start improving yourself then start NOW.

1. Gym, get fit.
2. Find hobbies, even if you have to do them alone
3. Socialize
4. Get a job or two and GET MONEY!
5. Read articles here, there so many on self improvement its INSANE. And there are motivational ones as well if you need a kick start.
6 and 7 would be living a life without women and then finally obtaining them since you have YOUR SH1T TOGETHER FINALLY.

You need to take a step back and say , "Woah I need to improve ASAP!" "I need to kill this desperate outlook I have!" "I must kill the need to be outcome dependent". Seriously. You don't need to get a prostitute, you don't need any fancy car, though it would help, you don't need sh1t except a great attitude and body to go with it.

Stop complaining, shut your computer off, UNPLUG IT DAMN IT, GET OFF SOSUAVE, AND GO OUT AND START IMPROVING YOUR LIFE TODAY!

thanks for the advice man, though i'm scared now that i have been here LONGER then you. thats just blown my mind. i always though you was like " better" then me. manly cos you have more posts.

yeah.. i though that.. if i didn't fap, I would get some. but that wasn't the case i just became more outcome dependant. i've been trying a few things out lately witch is good.

yeah, it dose sound like all i do is complain on these forums. i have a lot of stress factors at home. there isn't anything i can do about it now, but i've just been trying to deal with them the best i can. i just have to learn not to let it bother me so much. nothing matter but MY happiness. that's it.

it sometimes dose sound like i don't do **** and just sit at home, but I AM working on my life. like i AM in the club every weekend just hitting sets ups. some nights are better then others.

i just need to say **** it and start being more positive! this week i have been all negative! and i've sick of it.

tonight is a geek party at one of the cool clubs and i got vip. so i am going to enjoy it!
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Packers2010

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Ronaldo7 said:
It's all in your attitude. You sound very, very pessimistic. As long as you have that mindset, you will never get laid. Change your way of thinking to a positive energy and always tell yourself that you will reach your goal.
i like this man. it's a god post. has a lot of win.

reading this post made me realize how negative my week has been. but what's funny is. negative and positive are just state of minds. my week was fine. nothing " bad " happened it was pretty good. but my mine tells me it was "bad" there for i feel bad.

if i just start to think positive i will act positive and things will come to me.

i feel better already!

thanks to everyone who posted in the thread. I'm used to being a whiny *****,, but i had to get here on my own. i had to connect the dots to see where i was going wrong. now all i see it's attitude.
 

Naughty Ninja

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Packers2010 said:
i like this man. it's a god post. has a lot of win.

reading this post made me realize how negative my week has been. but what's funny is. negative and positive are just state of minds. my week was fine. nothing " bad " happened it was pretty good. but my mine tells me it was "bad" there for i feel bad.

if i just start to think positive i will act positive and things will come to me.

i feel better already!

thanks to everyone who posted in the thread. I'm used to being a whiny *****,, but i had to get here on my own. i had to connect the dots to see where i was going wrong. now all i see it's attitude.
Packers you have to realize there are dudes out there who are getting laid who are more miserable than you are. Don't believe the hype.

You simply have to be comfortable with you and complete on your own FIRST and not think because you are getting "laid" or have someone that that makes you "complete" or just blowing a load is the answer. It's only a quick stress relief. IF that.

If you honestly think that getting laid will be the cure to whatever you have going on...you're going to be sorely mistaken.

Talk to a professional. Talk to someone who makes sense. Become whole on your own BEFORE thinking getting pvzzy is some magical "cure all".

These chicks aren't some voodoo fvck dolls with the power to make things right. Most of the time they'll make things worse. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a completely clueless moron. You go into a relationship or end up in a screwed up relationship screwed up in the first place..Getting pvzzy is the last thing that is going to fix your issues. Good luck and Godspeed dude.
 
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