Packers2010
Master Don Juan
lately i have hit a down spiral in my life and it's hurting me.
i have realized I'm not dominant at all. like. 2 weekends ago i had a girl right in front of me and i didn't kiss her. i didn't even attempt to. i just stood there. like an idiot.
this hurts me because i have decided I'm not going to fap any more. i realize this is a problem in my life. i haven't in like 4 days. before that was 10 days. it's hard for me because I am addicted to porn. I love the high it gives me. because i can't get a real girl in the club. ( it's " too hard " for me. m brain won't allow it yet) i fall for the idea of porn and what it dose. it gives me the feeling i have someone or I am intimate with.
right now. i'm horny as fcuk. I would do a 2 if it meant i could bust a nut. which is bad sure. what's worse is, deep down inside, i know i can't do it. i have blocking stopping me from being able to do it.
what i find strange about this is 2 years ago i had sex with my ontitis girl. at the time i pretty much did everything down to a T. i was persistent. i was clear in my intentions and i was stopping at nothing to get what I want.
sure I Was needy as fcuk and i let another guy creep in and take her. but that's not the sex side of things. that was my oneitis taking over. but for one moment there I did it like an " alpha " would.
now, i can't do anything. all i want to do is have sex and i can't it's like i walk into the club. get politely turned down by about 10-15 girls, then i go home again. it's pathetic.
I'm not sure if it's ME, or i should just wait and it will come to me. I've been in the game awhile now and i still have HUGE blockers that are telling me i shouldn't do it.
sometimes when i look at girls and think they are cute, i get that feeling that tells me not to do anything. it's my AA acting up. though this feeling comes all the time. when i see them at the shops. when I'm at school i notice 3 girls looking at me. i can't even look at them.
I'm starting to think " what's the point any more?" progress is so slow i may as well go back to fapping. buy a paid porn site and just concentrate on living by my self and working on my career.
i'm just tired of this. I want sex to just like every other guy out there but i can't get it. it feels like it's just out of my reach. I'm going to see therapist about this. but right now i can't afford the 100$ it is to go see them. as soon as i can i will be there, becuse this is a big problem in my life and i want it fix as soon as possible.
i have realized I'm not dominant at all. like. 2 weekends ago i had a girl right in front of me and i didn't kiss her. i didn't even attempt to. i just stood there. like an idiot.
this hurts me because i have decided I'm not going to fap any more. i realize this is a problem in my life. i haven't in like 4 days. before that was 10 days. it's hard for me because I am addicted to porn. I love the high it gives me. because i can't get a real girl in the club. ( it's " too hard " for me. m brain won't allow it yet) i fall for the idea of porn and what it dose. it gives me the feeling i have someone or I am intimate with.
right now. i'm horny as fcuk. I would do a 2 if it meant i could bust a nut. which is bad sure. what's worse is, deep down inside, i know i can't do it. i have blocking stopping me from being able to do it.
what i find strange about this is 2 years ago i had sex with my ontitis girl. at the time i pretty much did everything down to a T. i was persistent. i was clear in my intentions and i was stopping at nothing to get what I want.
sure I Was needy as fcuk and i let another guy creep in and take her. but that's not the sex side of things. that was my oneitis taking over. but for one moment there I did it like an " alpha " would.
now, i can't do anything. all i want to do is have sex and i can't it's like i walk into the club. get politely turned down by about 10-15 girls, then i go home again. it's pathetic.
I'm not sure if it's ME, or i should just wait and it will come to me. I've been in the game awhile now and i still have HUGE blockers that are telling me i shouldn't do it.
sometimes when i look at girls and think they are cute, i get that feeling that tells me not to do anything. it's my AA acting up. though this feeling comes all the time. when i see them at the shops. when I'm at school i notice 3 girls looking at me. i can't even look at them.
I'm starting to think " what's the point any more?" progress is so slow i may as well go back to fapping. buy a paid porn site and just concentrate on living by my self and working on my career.
i'm just tired of this. I want sex to just like every other guy out there but i can't get it. it feels like it's just out of my reach. I'm going to see therapist about this. but right now i can't afford the 100$ it is to go see them. as soon as i can i will be there, becuse this is a big problem in my life and i want it fix as soon as possible.