I need some texting advice

[Divorced w 3]

If you are f0cking other girls, shrug it off. If you arent f0cking anyone atm, better to drop her and use the time you were spending on her on building a rotation.

I’m going to invite her down the shore for the weekend. That’s not much risk to me, implies what’s going on and it makes it a third date which we all know is the make or break point. Gets me an answer either way

 

[Divorced w 3]

Isn't this known as being a "tease"? Got YOU fired up, shot you down and you left with blue balls.

Nice.

Not sure what her point in waiting is after making out all night and both of you getting fired up.

It's not like waiting is going to determine whether it's 'substantial' or not. Either you both desire something substantial (with each other) or not.

I mean, after waiting and finally getting what you want (sexually), you could 'pump and dump' for all she knows.

I kinda liked her till this, now I don't know, seems manipulative. A shyt test.

Good luck tho.

I wasn’t expecting her to do this but she opened on some shyt that happened to her back in school. To me it sounded like a full blown assault but she said it wasn’t. Either way , bad. It wasn’t like she came right out with it I had to dig it out a little. Trying to see if the shore loosens her up and then after trying 3x that’s it. Live and learn

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Alright so field report. Scooped her up and we drove down and got pizza and spumoni. Brought it back and ate at her place. Start making out. Hands everywhere. But no, your boy gets shot down again! I still got her fired up, start messing with her over her jeans, I have to ice my lip from her biting it. If anyone knows ARC she’s no doubt a 4. So she wants something substantial. I don’t mind necessarily putting some work in she’s a good chick and I know she’s going to fvck like a wild animal. She also has great tits and a great ass. But my question is, do I come out upfront and tell her that I’ve got 3 kids or do I let her ask. Because she hasn’t asked, but I’m sure she’s looked me and by extension my ex up. How could she not have

I want to take her down the shore this weekend and seal the deal. But I have a conscience

2nd date? For whatever reason so many women have this idea that they don't want to be considered a "slut" or "easy" and give it up quickly on the first or second date but for whatever reason waiting until the third date makes it OK. Maybe it's just something for them mentally, who knows. But it's definitely a thing.

No, you never bring up things like that unless she asks. If it's something that's a no go for her, you want to at least secure the bang first or multiple bangs.

 

[Divorced w 3]

2nd date? For whatever reason so many women have this idea that they don't want to be considered a "slut" or "easy" and give it up quickly on the first or second date but for whatever reason waiting until the third date makes it OK. Maybe it's just something for them mentally, who knows. But it's definitely a thing.

No, you never bring up things like that unless she asks. If it's something that's a no go for her, you want to at least secure the bang first or multiple bangs.

Yup second date. She’s not a driver (City girl) so if she’s game this weekend I’ll go scoop her, and her not driving makes it really easy for me to keep the kids conversation on the back burner. Most people would not like having to drive to go see someone regularly but for me, this lines up

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I can relate but won't go into that.

What doesn't make sense is given she had been previously sexually assaulted or close to, why the hell did she invite a man she barely knows over to hers and proceed to have a mad make out session?

Getting him (you) fired up and herself as well?

That's like inviting the very thing she fears!

She was lucky, you're a good guy and respected her boundaries.

With another man who didn't, it could have turned out much differently.

The shore sounds fun, hope it works out the way you hope.

This sounds like one of those women who abides by the "3 date rule", ie, she won't fvck a guy before the third date. It's definitely a thing in my experience, at least with a guy she sees some sort of potential with. It's like she doesn't want to be seen as a "slut" or "easy" on date 1 or 2, but date 3 it's OK. It's like some silly mental thing they need to do to convince themselves it's OK.

Also perhaps it was a test to see if he would behave like the other guy and try and get overly aggressive or mad when she didn't let him go further and then he would be out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I can relate but won't go into that.

What doesn't make sense is given she had been previously sexually assaulted or close to, why the hell did she invite a man she barely knows over to hers and proceed to have a mad make out session?

Getting him (you) fired up and herself as well? And then saying no and shooting you down?

That's like inviting the very thing she fears!

She was lucky, you're a good guy and respected her boundaries.

With another man who didn't, it could have turned out much differently.

The shore sounds fun, hope it works out the way you hope.

Right? I’ve driven her home twice now.

This sounds like one of those women who abides by the "3 date rule", ie, she won't fvck a guy before the third date. It's definitely a thing in my experience, at least with a guy she sees some sort of potential with. It's like she doesn't want to be seen as a "slut" or "easy" on date 1 or 2, but date 3 it's OK. It's like some silly mental thing they need to do to convince themselves it's OK.

Probably right, I think I got the concept from your prior posts actually just guessing. Anyways pretty sure she likes me. I think in this case to build rapport I am going to, not unreasonably but up the texting a touch. See attached

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That would be a HUGE risk, I mean what if Dw3 wasn't a good guy and HE assaulted her?

This is how date rape occurs, which I don't want this thread to become about, but again, that's one hell of a "test" to determine if he's a good guy or an *******.

Maybe her intuition about him was that he was a good guy?

I mean far be it from me to talk because I've done some pretty dumb things too, but women tend to do a lot of dumb things if they are attracted to a guy. The more they are attracted, the dumber the thing they are usually willing to do. At least some of them operated like that.

 

[Barrister]

Yeah, many guys don't get this but often times when you indicate your interest (which you did by stepping up and asking for a date), it will increase HER interest.

I'm referring to relatively secure women with a decent level of self-esteem.

Damaged, emotionally unstable women are another story.

It's a misnomer that uncertainty and anxiety increase attraction, that's a mistake many men make in my experience.

Balance is key, not too much, not too little.

First, it isn't so much that a man showing interest increases a woman's interest. If the woman is already interested, it will certainly make her communication increase with the man once he shows interest himself.

If a woman is low interest, on the other hand, a man showing he is interested in her isn't going to move the needle. I know you don't mean it this way, but it is disingenuous to suggest that a woman is unstable or damaged if she doesn't increase in interest simply by a man reaching out.

For a man to see a big jump in communication level as Murk did, there has to be at a bare minimum medium interest already present but usually high interest.

 

[Divorced w 3]

The more they are attracted, the dumber the thing they are usually willing to do.

Emotional hamsters

 

[Divorced w 3]

Fair enough but after only two dates and him driving her home twice, it was still a big risk imo.

Not so much inviting him over, I've done that, but the heavy make out session, getting him worked up sexually and then saying no to sex.

That part was a risk, as some men will mistakenly interpret no as yes, and all that.

She's been assaulted previously so one would assume she was aware of that.

Anyway, this is all moot because everything is fine, there is mutual high attraction and interest, it all sounds very positive.

Yeah it is. Ugh. She’s a fvcking kindergarten school teacher who prefers kindness. Annoyed that I actually have interest in her. Would be easier not to care.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah it is. Ugh. She’s a fvcking kindergarten school teacher who prefers kindness. Annoyed that I actually have interest in her. Would be easier not to care.

Teachers are usually wild in the bedroom. Something about constantly having to follow rules that makes them want to cut loose and have fun

 

[Divorced w 3]

Teachers are usually wild in the bedroom. Something about constantly having to follow rules that makes them want to cut loose and have fun

I have zero doubt in that here… discussions already underway on her wearing her speedo swimsuit

 

[Divorced w 3]

I understand. I've heard it before.
You'll be fine, I promise you.

Yeah I don’t lose sleep on having a conscience

 

[Divorced w 3]

That would be a HUGE risk, I mean what if Dw3 wasn't a good guy and HE assaulted her?

This is how date rape occurs, which I don't want this thread to become about, but again, that's one hell of a "test" to determine if he's a good guy or an *******.

She mentioned actually she doesn’t usually let guys over the house. I mean actions are what matter and she did all the usual stuff. Twirling hair, initiated, let me over, broke most of her rules short of letting me in her pants, so to speak … so I must give off the right vibe on their front. Also her brother is a cop and I am sure she shared or at least wrote my info down. Wouldn’t take Colombo to figure out what happened. I also fixed her sink while I was over ther

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She mentioned actually she doesn’t usually let guys over the house. I mean actions are what matter and she did all the usual stuff. Twirling hair, initiated, let me over, broke most of her rules short of letting me in her pants, so to speak … so I must give off the right vibe on their front. Also her brother is a cop and I am sure she shared or at least wrote my info down. Wouldn’t take Colombo to figure out what happened. I also fixed her sink while I was over ther

Lmao!!!!!! I know you probably don't know about the meaning of that but...did she say:

"Fix my sink, funk my funk, walk my walk, talk my talk...
Do what you gotta do, she said fix my sink"


"You fixed that sink to the left...
You fixed that sink to the right...
You fixed that sink on the floor...
You fixed that sink all night?"

 

[BeExcellent]

Just go & enjoy yourselves.

I will leave you with a cautionary tale. A very good buddy of mine (who has dated plenty since his divorce 10 or so years ago) finally met a woman he was kinda into. Great chemistry but she would fool around, make out with him & never give up sex. I wanna say this like 4-5 dates in. He’s good looking, good with women, has game but he’s not an ass hole.

They do NYE together etc., he takes her out etc, makes reservations & plans some cool outings. He likes her. Come to find out, abuse in her background. Ok. His ex wife had that profile too…she’s saying all the right things but won’t let sex happen. He starts to think it’s a bit odd. Like Hmmm. Is there another guy in the picture & she doesn’t want to be fvcking two men/has some boundary around sex (no guy would want their chick blowing someone else but sex itself was her no fly zone)…..weird.

So my friend (and my fiancé and I too) thinks this is odd. So my friend (our friend now honestly) reaches out to the chick and straight up says “I don’t get the impression you are that into me. Hit me up if I’m off base….”

She never replies and vanishes. Weird.

He was tiring of making effort (and she bought him dinner a couple of times) without return and was starting to feel like the backup plan. Was a sense he was getting based on their dynamic & interaction.

So he put it out there to call it out and/or cut his losses.

There are user women out there unfortunately. So pay attention to that. Past abuse or the spectre of past abuse can be a way to forestall things progressing sexually as it can be a convenient excuse, and one that can mask the real reason.

This is why really as a man you are best to act in your own interest. She might be full of crap.

I had a man dam near kill me one night. An established boyfriend too. I never saw MEN as the problem. I saw HIM as the problem and I didn’t carry that as baggage into new interactions. And I had no issue with intimacy with my fiancé which organically occurred early on.

So I start questioning whether something is off if people are going to operate under some sort of contrived threshold.

Women decide if they are going to sleep with you when they meet you. And if they have decided yes? They aren’t going to torture themselves waiting or you either.

So just absorb her behavior in the context of her words and pay attention.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Lmao!!!!!! I know you probably don't know about the meaning of that but...did she say:

"Fix my sink, funk my funk, walk my walk, talk my talk...
Do what you gotta do, she said fix my sink"


"You fixed that sink to the left...
You fixed that sink to the right...
You fixed that sink on the floor...
You fixed that sink all night?"

Lol
Have to listen later, at the office. No idea what this is

 

[Divorced w 3]

Just go & enjoy yourselves.

I will leave you with a cautionary tale. A very good buddy of mine (who has dated plenty since his divorce 10 or so years ago) finally met a woman he was kinda into. Great chemistry but she would fool around, make out with him & never give up sex. I wanna say this like 4-5 dates in. He’s good looking, good with women, has game but he’s not an ass hole.

They do NYE together etc., he takes her out etc, makes reservations & plans some cool outings. He likes her. Come to find out, abuse in her background. Ok. His ex wife had that profile too…she’s saying all the right things but won’t let sex happen. He starts to think it’s a bit odd. Like Hmmm. Is there another guy in the picture & she doesn’t want to be fvcking two men/has some boundary around sex (no guy would want their chick blowing someone else but sex itself was her no fly zone)…..weird.

So my friend (and my fiancé and I too) thinks this is odd. So my friend (our friend now honestly) reaches out to the chick and straight up says “I don’t get the impression you are that into me. Hit me up if I’m off base….”

She never replies and vanishes. Weird.

He was tiring of making effort (and she bought him dinner a couple of times) without return and was starting to feel like the backup plan. Was a sense he was getting based on their dynamic & interaction.

So he put it out there to call it out and/or cut his losses.

There are user women out there unfortunately. So pay attention to that. Past abuse or the spectre of past abuse can be a way to forestall things progressing sexually as it can be a convenient excuse, and one that can mask the real reason.

This is why really as a man you are best to act in your own interest. She might be full of crap.

I had a man dam near kill me one night. An established boyfriend too. I never saw MEN as the problem. I saw HIM as the problem and I didn’t carry that as baggage into new interactions. And I had no issue with intimacy with my fiancé which organically occurred early on.

So I start questioning whether something is off if people are going to operate under some sort of contrived threshold.

Women decide if they are going to sleep with you when they meet you. And if they have decided yes? They aren’t going to torture themselves waiting or you either.

So just absorb her behavior in the context of her words and pay attention.

It certainly seems as if a lot of radar and flags are coming up which is why I brought it here. She has male friends and she is on birth control. Let’s be fair on the birth control though, it can have multiple uses.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have no doubt she has extremely high interest and attracted to you Dw3, no doubt about it. I never doubted it.
And it sounds mutual so again it's all good.

I also can relate to her brother being protective, I have (had) five (one recently passed ) and they were all very protective, if any of my boyfriends got outta line and I mentioned it, they would be hearing from them in some form or fashion.

I didn't mean to suggest she shouldn't trust you or that you didn't give off the right "vibe." It's just for me personally, I never played that "waiting game" when there was mutual high interest and attraction and it was clear it was heading somewhere "substantial."

Which was made obvious usually on the first date. High chemistry, great vibe between us, we just clicked.

Like I said in a previous post, it didn't happen often. Although I dated a lot but it never went anywhere because I simply was not interested enough.

But when I was, it was mutual and we just went with it. None of that "waiting game" BS.

No I don’t doubt it either but she’s getting one last effort here and if no luck she can start taking the bus to jersey. As far as me showing adequate interest, you and @BeExcellent had both made the points that it would help now and then to be more interested. If she’s this kind of type she needs more investment.. she did straight up say it was confusing when I followed up as it didn’t seem like she’d hear from me again and then was surprised to get the text. I was treating this like a mid 20’s kitten. I’m other words you guys weren’t wrong

very sorry and deepest sympathy on your loss. Can’t even imagine.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lol
Have to listen later, at the office. No idea what this is

Basically a woman saying to come "fix her sink" is code for something else...