I need some advice folks

[Pirlo21]

Folks I need advice here. This news has rattled me really hard.

My ex and I broke up last fall. I'm 26, shes 22.

It happened because I started letting her walk all over me, I was in a rough point of my life and she lost sexual attraction to me. We dated for 2.5 years total.

We took a few months completely apart then I slowly re-introduced myself as a new person. This happened slowly over a few months,we had a lot of fun and she was initiating a lot of our hangouts and conversations. She even asked me to go on a trip to Miami with just her and I that never ended up happening.

It got to the point where I knew I needed to make a move. On one of our hangouts one night I went in to kiss her, she stopped me and told me she had just started dating someone. She's working for a Cirque Du Soleil type show, while its in the city temporarily and was seeing a guy from that.

I played it off as no big deal but I had to be straight up and tell her we couldn't stay friends anymore as hanging out with her brought back the feelings in me. She got pretty upset with me, even mad claiming it was disgusting how easily I threw away friendship.

Anyway I've been on complete radio silence with her for the last month and a half, aside from randomly seeing her on the street breifly where she was all smiles to see me and we talked for a second.

The show the guys shes dating is ending soon, I have now just learned today, she is quitting her job here, leaving everything and moving to a different country and different coast (LA) to try and stay on with this show and be with this guy who shes only been dating for 2 months.

It was pretty shocking to me. My only question is, should I stay in radio silence, or should I be the bigger man and politely wish her luck?

She always seems to just be chasing the new and exciting things in life I've learned. Once the excitements over she seems to move on to something else.

 

[st_99]

you're acting like you have some kind options regarding this girl. There are no options and there is no decision to make because she's already made it for you.

So, the only thing left to do is move on and start dating other girls. at 26 your best days are ahead.

and you need to get over the 'rattled me hard' stuff. getting dumped or breaking up with a girl needs to become
no big deal, especially a 22 yo

 

[pdx1138]

you and she are done.

chin up Pirlo, there WILL be others.

Take whatever time you need to sulk, then get back up again.

We've all had to do it.

 

[Pirlo21]

Tough but honest advice.

Obviously then you guys are saying just leave it be and let it fade off into the distance?

 

[Slickster]

Move on!

In the future limit how serious you get with young women. (ie. 24 and under)

 

[Greasy Pig]

It's done, OP. look up some threads on "no contact" and learn why it's the most important and therapeutic thing you can do at this point.

She dumped you, felt like a bytch, you still showed affection and her brain hamster stopped running. You being nice to her made her feel that everything was cool between you and she took you for granted.
"Ohhhh, I never imagined us getting back together, I was just so relieved you were still talking to me after the way I treated you that I thought we could stay friends. Ha ha ha, you men are sooooo silly."
That's how her hamster justifies itself and you allowed that hamster a chance to do that by staying in touch and being overly friendly.

She is gone, there's nothing - absolutely nothing - to be gained by contacting her again.

 

[Desdinova]

My only question is, should I stay in radio silence, or should I be the bigger man and politely wish her luck?

The "bigger man" has other options and has no time for a woman who doesn't want him.

 

[evan12]

forget her and just act as she mean nothing to you

 

[Atom Smasher]

They're right, Pirlo. It's time to move on. If you don't you will suffer greatly in vain. There is zero chance with her.

Girls who are chasing new and exciting things are not relationship material, that's for sure. That's a sure-fire recipe for misery.

 

[Bible_Belt]

should I be the bigger man and politely wish her luck?

Yes. Because it's over, like everyone else said, so it doesn't matter what you say. Be polite if it makes you feel better. Ignoring her does let her know that you still care. If you were banging a hot new girl right now, you wouldn't even go through the effort to actively ignore her. It would just happen.

 

[Boilermaker]

A beginner in NEXT'ing shouldn't be polite. He should move on and learn to be indifferent and cruel.

Usually; courtesy and faint hopes for getting back together are mixed together; and "politely" wishing luck is a desperate last attempt. AND women will pick that up.

Keep your chin up. Look around you, and move on. You are alive. You have the potential to date every single women your age in your town. Recognize and embrace that potential.

And start today to realize that goal. One crystal atom at a time ...

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Pirlo,
Think of her as another lollypop finished......Only way to go is no contact in any shape or form....get a few plates and start spinning....if you have to drop your standards for a while,it doesn't matter....The only way when you get tossed off the Gee-Gee is to get back up on the saddle soon as you are able!

 

[Greasy Pig]

I thought about wishing my ex luck when she sent a half-apologetic text for treating me like shyt.
The guys here strongly advised against it. Best thing I ever did was listen to those hardcore muthafvckers.
She sent two more texts and an email after I didn't respond to her "apology" (sorry you got hurt, more than, sorry I hurt you), and I still didn't reply.
Felt fantastic!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear GP,
Good on yer digger,only way to go,proud of you Son!

 

[Pirlo21]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I've decided I'm not going to say anything, there's no point all it will do is let her know I'm thinking about her as she moves on with her life.

She's started pulling some manuevers of writing on our mutual FB friends walls about having to see them before she leaves.

She's not a stable girl, she had a really good thing going with her job here but I guess it holds true with a trait I've noticed with her, once something is no longer new and exciting she moves on from it.

Her dad cheated on her mom when she was 5 and her mom just went through a rough divorce with her dad. She doesn't know what a stable family enviroment looks like.

I blame myself too, I was far too nice and available too her after she treated me like shyt at the end of our relationship. When I came back I made sure not to do any of this but the damage must have already been done.

 

[Atom Smasher]

A beginner in NEXT'ing shouldn't be polite. He should move on and learn to be indifferent and cruel.

Usually; courtesy and faint hopes for getting back together are mixed together; and "politely" wishing luck is a desperate last attempt. AND women will pick that up.

Keep your chin up. Look around you, and move on. You are alive. You have the potential to date every single women your age in your town. Recognize and embrace that potential.

And start today to realize that goal. One crystal atom at a time ...

You invoked my trademarked name; You owe me $1.00. I'll start a tab.

And very good post.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Dear GP,
Good on yer digger,only way to go,proud of you Son!

Ha ha, you've always been there for me Scar, making sure I don't stray from the path. Appreciate it.

 

[Skalioppe]

Sorry to hear that dude, but something tells me you'll be with a new hottie in no time, I'd bet my house on it. Transference (of one's affections) is always the best cure for these sorts of things. In a few months of having a new woman I guarantee you won't even think about your ex, she'll be a small influence in the fabric that makes you and you'll be happier than you ever were with her.

My advice, text her "Hey, all the best with your move, have a great one! ". Then ignore all future contact. Why say goodbye? Because it's ballsy adult thing to do, shows you're unaffected (which is a good leaving present for her to think over), will probably throw her a little but most of all it's closure.

Reinvention time my man, and that's something to really smile and be excited about!! And remember, always live in the now, the past is done and you can't do a fvcking thing about it, the future is unknown and will unfold based on what you do now.... :rockon:

 

[disgustipated]

Don't message her. She's leaving, not you. The responsibility of saying goodbyes is hers. If u reach out to say goodbye or.good luck, it will reek of effort.

 

[st_99]

girls always seem to reach out for some sort of closure, even short flings that flaked out on me and i've gone no contact on have felt the need to reach out for a final good bye. even girls that have new serious boyfriends reach out, even girls that i've gone afc on and so they ditched me. it must be in their DNA.

a little sweet revenge is to NOT respond to any effort of contact. just leave them hanging.. they'll be thinking about
you years later, maybe eve while they're banging their new man, lol. if you've left enough of an impression.