I need a man's opinion on something...

[SunnyD]

You are just upset because he isn't trying to contact you. You need validation that he is thinking about you, like you are of him. That he is upset, like you want him to be.

So you need to deal with yourSELF. this kind of goes into ego talk.

Why did you end it with him?

Is it because you wanted to hurt him, to teach him a lesson? Because then your expectations would be that he should feel hurt and loss, and be trying to contact you and say sorry and beg for you back. Which he isn't doing. Which may be why you are still "hooked". Your intentions fell short.

OR is it what you keep telling yourSELF. That he is not worth your time because he is a dog. Because if he wasn't worth your time, you'd be doing more worthy things with your time then cyber stalking him. You wouldn't care what he was doing, because you KNOW what he is doing. The same sh!t that made you need to cut contact with him...

So which is it?

Are you truly ready to move on?

Or are you really just trying to get a reaction out of him?

Because the two DON'T go together, chickapee.

To be honest, it's both.

I don't want a reaction out of him to get back with him. I want to know that he feels bad or that he does miss me. Yeah, I want to know that I mattered. But I also want to cut contact and forget about him...I dont want to think about him anymore.

I know those don't go together...but that's the way it is. I cut it off with the complete intent of ending it for good...but I still want to know that he atleast cared.

 

[iqqi]

To be honest, it's both.

I don't want a reaction out of him to get back with him. I want to know that he feels bad or that he does miss me. Yeah, I want to know that I mattered. But I also want to cut contact and forget about him...I dont want to think about him anymore.

I know those don't go together...but that's the way it is. I cut it off with the complete intent of ending it for good...but I still want to know that he atleast cared.

looks like your real challenge lies within.

 

[MacAvoy]

You are just upset because he isn't trying to contact you. You need validation that he is thinking about you, like you are of him. That he is upset, like you want him to be.

So you need to deal with yourSELF. this kind of goes into ego talk.

Why did you end it with him?

Is it because you wanted to hurt him, to teach him a lesson? Because then your expectations would be that he should feel hurt and loss, and be trying to contact you and say sorry and beg for you back. Which he isn't doing. Which may be why you are still "hooked". Your intentions fell short.

OR is it what you keep telling yourSELF. That he is not worth your time because he is a dog. Because if he wasn't worth your time, you'd be doing more worthy things with your time then cyber stalking him. You wouldn't care what he was doing, because you KNOW what he is doing. The same sh!t that made you need to cut contact with him...

So which is it?

Are you truly ready to move on?

Or are you really just trying to get a reaction out of him?

Because the two DON'T go together, chickapee.

iqqi

I must say you give AMAZING advice to women.

 

[SunnyD]

Well sh^t. I had a feeling this would happen. I went drinking with coworkers after work, and now that I'm home..I'm feeling mad and feeling like texting him (or HER) and spewing my mind. Ugh. I was doing so good today too...(thanks to the lovely ladies...both of you...advice on here today. A couple of you guys too....Kontroller...MacAvoy) Now I'm not thinking rationally..just thinking "ugh...I bet he is at her house right now...I should tell her what a jackass he is, I should tell HIM what a jackass he is."

Someone tell me all the reasons I shouldn't...quickkkkkk

 

[sav]

Well sh^t. I had a feeling this would happen. I went drinking with coworkers after work, and now that I'm home..I'm feeling mad and feeling like texting him (or HER) and spewing my mind. Ugh. I was doing so good today too...(thanks to the lovely ladies...both of you...advice on here today. A couple of you guys too....Kontroller...MacAvoy) Now I'm not thinking rationally..just thinking "ugh...I bet he is at her house right now...I should tell her what a jackass he is, I should tell HIM what a jackass he is."

Someone tell me all the reasons I shouldn't...quickkkkkk

lol, women have no control over their emotions, and u just keep proving it...
if you keep thinking about it, HE HAS WON.... like any addiction, you have to kick it, and kick it hard.. delete him from ur mind, get some other **** in u assap while you are at it....

 

[SunnyD]

lol, women have no control over their emotions, and u just keep proving it...
if you keep thinking about it, HE HAS WON.... like any addiction, you have to kick it, and kick it hard.. delete him from ur mind, get some other **** in u assap while you are at it....

I tried that once, the first time we split...and it made things worse. All I kept thinking about during the sex was "its not him, this doesnt feel the same" and I was all distraught over it. So...I dont think that's a good idea right now.

This is really frustrating. When we hooked up again I felt nothing for him, and now I'm so damn angry at him. I just want to erase it all.

 

[sav]

I tried that once, the first time we split...and it made things worse. All I kept thinking about during the sex was "its not him, this doesnt feel the same" and I was all distraught over it. So...I dont think that's a good idea right now.

This is really frustrating. When we hooked up again I felt nothing for him, and now I'm so damn angry at him. I just want to erase it all.

keep busy, be around ur friends... be productive.... it only gets better with time the first few days are the hardest and it gets easier from there...

 

[SunnyD]

It's been two weeks. I hope two weeks are the hardest and it all gets easier from here. Thanks sav.

 

[MacAvoy]

Well it might be hard for a few more weeks, things like this just don't magically disappear. Now can you see how one meaningless little romp in the sheets can turn into so much more when there is a long history involved.

You weren't with him for 6 months before this last time, and you still fell in the trap after all that time. Thats why its so important to stop constantly thinking about him so much. Thats where the whole no contact thing comes in, or sometimes you need something to distract you.

 

[SunnyD]

Well it might be hard for a few more weeks, things like this just don't magically disappear. Now can you see how one meaningless little romp in the sheets can turn into so much more when there is a long history involved.

You weren't with him for 6 months before this last time, and you still fell in the trap after all that time. Thats why its so important to stop constantly thinking about him so much. Thats where the whole no contact thing comes in, or sometimes you need something to distract you.

Honest to God, if she wasn't in the picture...(or any other woman for that matter) I really think it would have been closure for me. When I left his house, it really was that. I felt ok about it all. Then once I found out he probably did us both in the same day and was still lying...it unravelled a whole entire world of hate and anger. That's the part that hurts.

I didnt want a relationship again...but if it had just been me and him, no one else (I know, you'll all say "that IS a relationship" but its not..its just me respecting my body and expecting him to do the same) then I would have been A-OK with just a FWB thing going on with him.

 

[MacAvoy]

Honest to god, it makes no difference if he was banging her or not. If you were just FWB, then he might have had 10 other girls that he was banging, that you don't need to know about.

 

[iqqi]

DON'T DO IT.

You will just make him feel GREAT.

The best revenge is him realizing one day that you DON'T give a SH!T.

(Here is the secret: even if you do give a sh!t!!)

You NEVER EVER let them see you sweat.

GOT IT?

 

[iqqi]

iqqi

I must say you give AMAZING advice to women.

I give great advice to individuals, period.

You fvckers are the ones with retarded "don't listen its a girl RUN" filter.

 

[SunnyD]

Honest to god, it makes no difference if he was banging her or not. If you were just FWB, then he might have had 10 other girls that he was banging, that you don't need to know about.

I disagree. I think I have a right to know about it. I'd like to know who else "i am sleeping with" if you know what I mean. Then atleast I have the choice to continue or respect myself and call it off. Doing that without knowing who else he is screwing...is just brutal. I asked him time and time again and all i expected was honesty. All I got was lies. If I knew there were others, I never would have done it. He could have atleast given me that choice.

 

[SunnyD]

DON'T DO IT.

You will just make him feel GREAT.

The best revenge is him realizing one day that you DON'T give a SH!T.

(Here is the secret: even if you do give a sh!t!!)

You NEVER EVER let them see you sweat.

GOT IT?

Got it Iqqi!

 

[MacAvoy]

Well you deserve what you get if you believe a 24 year old good looking guy who says he hasn't been sleeping with anyone else in 6 months.

 

[iqqi]

I disagree. I think I have a right to know about it. I'd like to know who else "i am sleeping with" if you know what I mean. Then atleast I have the choice to continue or respect myself and call it off. Doing that without knowing who else he is screwing...is just brutal. I asked him time and time again and all i expected was honesty. All I got was lies. If I knew there were others, I never would have done it. He could have atleast given me that choice.

You don't have any rights. You had no commitment.

Its the cold hard truth.

You had no commitment because he wasn't the guy for you. He wasn't the guy for you because he lacked integrity. He lied about who he was sleeping with you because... he lacked integrity.

You can only be mad at YOU.

You shouldn't even care that he was sleeping around, and you should atleast ACT like you aren't that surprised he's a big fat liar.

Because he lacks integrity. Which is why he wasn't the guy for you.

MOVE ON


(hint hint: that is how you should ACT until it is how you feel. To save your own dignity...)

 

[SunnyD]

Well you deserve what you get if you believe a 24 year old good looking guy who says he hasn't been sleeping with anyone else in 6 months.

No, I told you before...I knew he was with her in those 6 months and even though he called still, I made the choice not to bother as long as he was with someone else. It was just the last two months that he's been telling me he wasn't with her anymore. I believed him because it was me he was calling every weekend. Stupid mistake.

 

[MacAvoy]

I don't have a problem with most of your posts except ones like this

I give great advice to individuals, period.

You fvckers are the ones with retarded "don't listen its a girl RUN" filter.

where you take a thread off course because you want to call down other posters and make yourself feel better by talking about what great advice YOU give.

Thats my beef, not your advice, the fact that you try make everything personal and attack alot of people instead of being constructive, then its a big flame war instead of giving advice to the OP.

 

[SunnyD]

You don't have any rights. You had no commitment.

Its the cold hard truth.

You had no commitment because he wasn't the guy for you. He wasn't the guy for you because he lacked integrity. He lied about who he was sleeping with you because... he lacked integrity.

You can only be mad at YOU.

You shouldn't even care that he was sleeping around, and you should atleast ACT like you aren't that surprised he's a big fat liar.

Because he lacks integrity. Which is why he wasn't the guy for you.

MOVE ON


(hint hint: that is how you should ACT until it is how you feel. To save your own dignity...)

I know what you are saying, and most of you will agree that I don't have a right to know. But i will argue that point until the day I die...that when it comes to my health...the LEAST a guy can do is say "yes, I am not only sleeping with you...if that's ok with you, great. If not, sorry." I DESERVE TO KNOW SO I CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE.