I need a man's opinion on something...

[SunnyD]

Judging from this sentence, and many others you've posted, I think you have problems seeing outside of this ego you've built up for yourself. I'd say to follow Nighthawk's advice, since not only are you letting go of your ego, you're also not going to help build up that jerk guy's ego. I hope you're going to stick with what you said about never sleeping with him again, because if you do, he will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever in one kajillion bazillion years respect you as a woman.

Are you saying I have an ego??? Where in my posts did I let off that I have an ego?? Trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that that isn't true at all.

The only thing I see that I said, was that I don't have a problem picking up at a bar...I wouldn't say that's an ego. I do have confidence.

 

[Latinoman]

SunnyD...how old is he and how old are you?

The advice would not be the same from one age group to another.

Thanks.

 

[SunnyD]

SunnyD...how old is he and how old are you?

The advice would not be the same from one age group to another.

Thanks.

I am 28, he is 24. I think that will say a lot..haha.

 

[Latinoman]

I am 28, he is 24. I think that will say a lot..haha.

You are 28...you should be dating a Man...not an insecure kid.

It does say a lot. It tells me you are probably insecure and have issues with being alone. Probably some maturity issues too. Or self-esteem issues.

I am not insulting you, I am simply telling you what I am seeing based on my experience with women that act in similar fashion.

My advice is for you to cut 100% communication and start finding a REAL man. One that looks good and has a career and focus in his life. The more you waste time with a 24-year-old kid (especially when you are a "mature" woman at 28 and in your prime)...the less inclined a similarly mature and primed men in his mid 30s would contemplate having you. And IF you want to someday marry and have children, then I say that your shelf value is going to start declining with time.

You are at a PERFECT age. Don't waste it. In today's era, as men mature...they get better and they get picky. But sadly, today's generation is not that of "M"en. So...there is going to be a shortage of a TRUE definition of what is a TRUE DJ.

Trust me...there are not many DJs in the board either.

Note: Next time you post...you might want to consider posting in the Mature Forum. You are 28. You will get some great advice there. While here, in the general forum, you are risking getting advice from a High School kid.

 

[SunnyD]

You are 28...you should be dating a Man...not an insecure kid.

It does say a lot. It tells me you are probably insecure and have issues with being alone. Probably some maturity issues too. Or self-esteem issues.

I am not insulting you, I am simply telling you what I am seeing based on my experience with women that act in similar fashion.

My advice is for you to cut 100% communication and start finding a REAL man. One that looks good and has a career and focus in his life. The more you waste time with a 24-year-old kid (especially when you are a "mature" woman at 28 and in your prime)...the less inclined a similarly mature and primed men in his mid 30s would contemplate having you. And IF you want to someday marry and have children, then I say that your shelf value is going to start declining with time.

You are at a PERFECT age. Don't waste it. In today's era, as men mature...they get better and they get picky. But sadly, today's generation is not that of "M"en. So...there is going to be a shortage of a TRUE definition of what is a TRUE DJ.

Trust me...there are not many DJs in the board either.

Note: Next time you post...you might want to consider posting in the Mature Forum. You are 28. You will get some great advice there. While here, in the general forum, you are risking getting advice from a High School kid.

Thank Latinoman, I appreciate the advice and I do agree with a lot of it.

I've always been with guys younger (no more than 4 years) but that does all make sense.

I'll check out the Mature Forum...I read there a lot actually.

 

[KontrollerX]

Damn Latinoman knocked it out of the park with what he just said.

Yeah Sunny perhaps you have made mistakes in life (we all do) but some of the posters in here are clawing at you and kicking you too hard and I sense they are coming from a place of bitterness at women and not a place of giving you good advice from their hearts which they would give...say a sister of theirs in a similar predicament.

Latinoman has given you great advice and yeah I'd agree you should stick mostly to the Mature Man forum for real help.

You'll get mostly insults from the discussion board sadly.

There are good posters on the discussion board too just so I make that clear but it seems people that flame and attack overwhelm the number of good advice givers here.

 

[DonGorgon]

Are you saying I have an ego??? Where in my posts did I let off that I have an ego?? Trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that that isn't true at all.

The only thing I see that I said, was that I don't have a problem picking up at a bar...I wouldn't say that's an ego. I do have confidence.

You mean "being picked up" ??? cause any women can do that what with all the desperate men everywhere..LOL

 

[DonGorgon]

You are 28...you should be dating a Man...not an insecure kid.

It does say a lot. It tells me you are probably insecure and have issues with being alone. Probably some maturity issues too. Or self-esteem issues.

I am not insulting you, I am simply telling you what I am seeing based on my experience with women that act in similar fashion.

My advice is for you to cut 100% communication and start finding a REAL man. One that looks good and has a career and focus in his life. The more you waste time with a 24-year-old kid (especially when you are a "mature" woman at 28 and in your prime)...the less inclined a similarly mature and primed men in his mid 30s would contemplate having you. And IF you want to someday marry and have children, then I say that your shelf value is going to start declining with time.

You are at a PERFECT age. Don't waste it. In today's era, as men mature...they get better and they get picky. But sadly, today's generation is not that of "M"en. So...there is going to be a shortage of a TRUE definition of what is a TRUE DJ.

Trust me...there are not many DJs in the board either.

Note: Next time you post...you might want to consider posting in the Mature Forum. You are 28. You will get some great advice there. While here, in the general forum, you are risking getting advice from a High School kid.

I disagree i think that age is not a definate indicator of maturity in many cases and an open mind should be kept... many adults in 2008 act like kids...

 

[iqqi]

Damn Latinoman knocked it out of the park with what he just said.

Yeah Sunny perhaps you have made mistakes in life (we all do) but some of the posters in here are clawing at you and kicking you too hard and I sense they are coming from a place of bitterness at women and not a place of giving you good advice from their hearts which they would give...say a sister of theirs in a similar predicament...

WHO ARE YOU?!?!? :crazy:

Lol. I feel like I am in the twilight zone. Cutie.



Anyways, Sunny, everyone has an ego. Its the size that counts. (Hee hee.)

 

[Latinoman]

I disagree i think that age is not a definate indicator of maturity in many cases and an open mind should be kept... many adults in 2008 act like kids...

Just read the entire thread...that is more than indicative that I am right and you are wrong.

 

[SunnyD]

I'm starting to feel pissed off about it all again. Ugghhh. I have a bad habit of checking his Facebook even though I deleted him, and I know when he's on MSN or not even though I blocked him.

How do I stop giving a sh*t where he is or what he's doing???? I want to stop obsessing about it and just move the f^ck on.

Any ideas?

 

[penkitten]

girl block him from your accounts so you are not tempted to go have a looksie at his stuff, and you will not be notified when he is online.
you have to cut the contact, even when you are not actually making the contact but just looking.

and if that don't work... pm me for the epitac cure

 

[Latinoman]

I'm starting to feel pissed off about it all again. Ugghhh. I have a bad habit of checking his Facebook even though I deleted him, and I know when he's on MSN or not even though I blocked him.

How do I stop giving a sh*t where he is or what he's doing???? I want to stop obsessing about it and just move the f^ck on.

Any ideas?

Facebook? Are you 15?

 

[sav]

why is this thread still going on? can somebody explain to me why people ask for advice, receive advice and never TAKE IT....


great advice was given to you by latinoman and others.....


only way you'll get over somebody you are emotionally attached to is by deleting everything that might feed the inherit curiosity that we all have.

facebook, msn, pictures (if you are the sentimental type that looks at them every now and then to remind yourself of what has been). this self torture that youa re putting urself through will not end well...

 

[SunnyD]

Facebook? Are you 15?

My entire high school class (of 98) and college class are are all on there, so I'm not the only late 20's gracing Facebook. It's a great way to keep in touch and reconnect. But I know a lot of people are so anti...so I won't try and convince you otherwise..haha.

I know I know...I need to just cut it all out. But its really hard when you're used to talking to someone every single day. Yeah I closest-thing-to-hate him...but I still miss him. I DON'T want to talk to him, not if he even tries... but its a burning curiousity that's hard to get rid of. I guess I thought I'd get over it better if I still knew what he was up to. (Like, oh...he went to a concert tonight, he's not with her.) Fvcked up way of thinking, I know. The wrong way. I'll stop.

I need to find a new man. If only to take my mind off this loser.

 

[KontrollerX]

How do I stop giving a sh*t where he is or what he's doing???? I want to stop obsessing about it and just move the f^ck on.

Any ideas?

Have you ever overcome an addiction before of any type?

Like say smoking, biting your nails or whatever??

To overcome an addiction it first starts with making a decision that you are going to overcome it.

Have you made a decision to forget this guy yet?

Truly?

Or are the emotions just currently too powerful to make this decision with any real internal backing behind it??

To me this seems so fresh Sunny that you may need to give yourself a week or two to go over this in your mind and find whatever kind of peace you can and not just sit and stew for the two weeks but go out with friends if possible. A girl's night out or whatever. That or if you have any male family members that you know to be good men that you could hang out with for a while like a cousin a father or something to show you the qualities of a truly good man again. Something to prepare you for the next step in your life because you won't be single forever. Something that will help give you a role model for the next type of guy you should go after and we all know it shouldn't be a replacement for the loser you were with but somebody completely different. Someone who cares and wants to be with you for you and not just to have sex. Not an AFC of course but a good man that is interesting and that you can find yourself interested in.

"I need to find a new man. If only to take my mind off this loser."

Despite what I've just said you have to be careful about trying to jump into a new relationship right away. You risk creating a rebound guy and hurting the guy or being too needy and getting dumped again hurting your ego once more.

You need time to heal and think about what are the qualities you truly want in a man that you are to be with and then figure out how to get such a man.

And sure like you said you are a good looking girl and have no trouble getting guys. Thats not the point. The point is do you know how to attract a man that would treat you well. That is what you may need to work on.

 

[penkitten]

the epitac cure:
everytime you miss him, take a swig of epitac.
eventually you will get sick enough to vomit your brain out.
then you will start to associate him with vomit.

be known to heal many

 

[SunnyD]

haha thanks Penkitten...I'll take that into consideration.

Kontroller..I have quit smoking after 7 years. Cold turkey. I guess it's the same thing. It IS an addiction, a horrible one...I just want to get out of this anger phase and move on. It's not HIM that I could possibly miss..it's not like he was ever a sweetheart. But like someone said way earlier..the rejection sucks a lot (especially after 1 year and a half..I feel like I was replaced just like that) and this girl is not that nice to look at. I HATE that he is with her. Not because I want him, but because she must have something that was better than me..and naturally..that digs under my skin. I hate thinking that he is maybe treating her way better than he treated me, that he might actually LIKE her, that maybe he'll get over his issues and actually DATE her. Like I said before, if I knew he was just using her like he used me, didnt really care about her...I'd feel a lot better about it and just laugh it off and thank god I am done with it. But if he CARES about it, I wonder why he couldn't be that way with me, why he was so scared of it. If someone can tell me "pffft, are you kidding? He's 24 and just all about the pvssy...he'll do to her what he did to you. Its an issue with HIM, its not her and its not you.." That's what I want to hear.

Blah, hopefully next week I'll be posting here laughing at the fact that I ever even gave a damn.

 

[iqqi]

You are just upset because he isn't trying to contact you. You need validation that he is thinking about you, like you are of him. That he is upset, like you want him to be.

So you need to deal with yourSELF. this kind of goes into ego talk.

Why did you end it with him?

Is it because you wanted to hurt him, to teach him a lesson? Because then your expectations would be that he should feel hurt and loss, and be trying to contact you and say sorry and beg for you back. Which he isn't doing. Which may be why you are still "hooked". Your intentions fell short.

OR is it what you keep telling yourSELF. That he is not worth your time because he is a dog. Because if he wasn't worth your time, you'd be doing more worthy things with your time then cyber stalking him. You wouldn't care what he was doing, because you KNOW what he is doing. The same sh!t that made you need to cut contact with him...

So which is it?

Are you truly ready to move on?

Or are you really just trying to get a reaction out of him?

Because the two DON'T go together, chickapee.

 

[DonJuan11]

You are just upset because he isn't trying to contact you. You need validation that he is thinking about you, like you are of him. That he is upset, like you want him to be.

So you need to deal with yourSELF. this kind of goes into ego talk.

Why did you end it with him?

Is it because you wanted to hurt him, to teach him a lesson? Because then your expectations would be that he should feel hurt and loss, and be trying to contact you and say sorry and beg for you back. Which he isn't doing. Which may be why you are still "hooked". Your intentions fell short.

OR is it what you keep telling yourSELF. That he is not worth your time because he is a dog. Because if he wasn't worth your time, you'd be doing more worthy things with your time then cyber stalking him. You wouldn't care what he was doing, because you KNOW what he is doing. The same sh!t that made you need to cut contact with him...

So which is it?

Are you truly ready to move on?

Or are you really just trying to get a reaction out of him?

Because the two DON'T go together, chickapee.

That's a pretty intense insight into it.