I may be in the minority here...

Which is more important, sex or love?

  • Love is for losers and AFCs. I want sex. Now.

    Votes: 9 7.1%
  • Sex is meaningless. I want love. Oh, by the way, I'm a eunuch.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I want sex, but I also want love. If I could combine the two, it would kick royal a$$.

    Votes: 111 88.1%
  • I don't need anyone except me (and possibly my right hand...)

    Votes: 6 4.8%

  • Total voters
    126

sAxyguy83

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A lot of ppl on the forum are talking about not becoming emotionally attached to women. To me, this seems silly. You can lecture me about our "desires" and our "needs", but people don't just have physical needs.

Now, some people go through life solo, no involvement wanted, none found. In my experience, people like this may seem very strong and happy, but are emotionally falling apart on the inside. Many of them, especially the older ones, feel a sad hollowness that they can't identify, and know something is missing in their life, though they don't know what.

I tend to be a long-term thinker and planner, and I look at the approach advocated by a lot of ppl here (get as much sex as possible, don't get emotionally involved) and the rarer approach I take (find someone you can trust, develop an emotional connection, then proceed to sex), and I get these results:

Short term, the common approach kicks ass, no contest. You get tons of *****, tons of fun, and just generally are happy. The rare approach frequently leaves you longing and looking for someone, or in a relationship where you get much less *****, if any.

Long term, on the other hand, the common approach doesn't look as good. You start to get old and ugly (and probly bald and fat), and the quality of the chicks you can get w/o paying for them drops dramatically (and I include the billionare marriages in the "chicks you have to pay for" category...). You get little, if any, sex, and you're alone without kids to teach all your DJ tricks to. The rare approach on the other hand, starts to look pretty nice. If you're really in love with the woman you're with, it doesn't much matter how ugly and old she is, she still looks like a 10 to you. Plus, if you played your cards right, you've got one or more kids, to whom you can teach all your DJ tricks (yes, teach the daughters, too. Better than letting your flesh and blood get banged by some ******* cuz she didn't know how to play the field properly).

Really long-term, the rare approach stands alone. Your equipment doesn't even work anymore, and even when you do take your Viagra, women your age are past menopause and don't have as much sex drive. If you're in love, however, you haven't lost nearly as much. Believe me on this one, real love is beyond anything else you will ever experience (with the possible exception of wild hot monkey love with someone you really love). You feel like you're some f**king superman, and even better, you feel complete in a way that nothing else can make you feel.

I don't pay much attention to the now, so I go w/ the rare approach, but there are times I definitely wish it was me banging two HB's at the same time while only barely sober enough to remember it all. To those of you who pull that off, I tip my hat, as you are having tons of fun right now, and eventually most people do find that special someone and settle down. In fact, I am really impressed by and jealous of you guys that pull of the common strategy early on, then switch over to the rare strategy at just the right time. You are truly living the f**king dream.
 

Anson

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Almost 74 % want love alongside with sex. I would be one of them.

I find this very intriguing. Nice poll, saxyguy.
 
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I don't need either.....I'd rather have the sex than the love..I don't feel like being all kind and caring and ***** like with women yet.
 

diplomatic_lies

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I agree. Even though I'm still kinda young, I've always went for longterm relationships rather than short flings.

Especially with a stressful lifestyle, a girl becomes something you can go home to (or to her home). My girl has always been a sort of support leverage; its good to have someone to actually rely on who isn't going to demand instant return.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Ain't nothing better than finding a girl that enjoys a raunchy f*** as much as the romance. Women like that has a better chance of holding onto her man without having all of the "I'm getting bored" type problems.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

sAxyguy83

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Looking at the votes as of this post, I'm a bit surprised. I was expecting option 1 to have a strong majority. Those of you who voted for option 4, I'm not quite sure why you're here...
 

sAxyguy83

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Shameless bump.
 

STR8UP

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Typical idealistic viewpoint of a young guy.

At 20 years old you probably haven't been jerked around enough to have a good perspective on this subject. You will likely have to go through putting your heart into a girl a couple of times and let her run it throught the meat grinder, then you might see things a little more clearly at that point.

I was the same way at your age. Youthful ignorance is bliss, but it can bite you in the ass.

My recommendation for anyone under the age of 25.....you should be out nailing any piece of ass that's willing. Get it out of your system THEN think about settling down.

By the time you hit my age you will thank me for taking my advice.
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Livingitup22

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Really Str8up?

I'm curious as why you would give that advice. It's strikes me as funny, because, at 22, I give the same speech to the 16-19 y/os I come across, yet I fall into the under 25 category you mention. WHy should us younger DJs screw first and ask questions later, in your opinion?
 

sAxyguy83

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I see that opinion in your posts a lot, str8up. I think a word that may describe you is "quitter". You use a few bad experiences to generalize to a whole category, and abandon love. Depending on how many women you've been hurt by, you might want to look more carefully - ppl often get into a certain groove as far as relationships, and most of the ppl they're in a relationship w/ after that are pretty much the same. If you're in a "women who jerk you around" groove, that could explain how you feel. One thing people talk about a lot on this forum is being brave. Find a girl that's different from all the others you've had, and give her a chance. Remember, the bigger the risk, the greater the reward.

And again to people who chose number four, I ask why you're on this forum?
 

STR8UP

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Re: Really Str8up?

Originally posted by Livingitup22
I'm curious as why you would give that advice....... WHy should us younger DJs screw first and ask questions later, in your opinion?
Why?

Because denying your urges as a man will only get you into trouble later in life. I see too many people getting settled down early just to get an itch later that destroys their relationship. They just aren't ready.

Originally posted by sAxyguy83
I see that opinion in your posts a lot, str8up. I think a word that may describe you is "quitter". You use a few bad experiences to generalize to a whole category, and abandon love. Depending on how many women you've been hurt by, you might want to look more carefully - ppl often get into a certain groove as far as relationships, and most of the ppl they're in a relationship w/ after that are pretty much the same. If you're in a "women who jerk you around" groove, that could explain how you feel. One thing people talk about a lot on this forum is being brave. Find a girl that's different from all the others you've had, and give her a chance. Remember, the bigger the risk, the greater the reward.
Ooooh, you're stirring up a hornets nest here.

First of all, if there is one thing and one thing only you learn about women, it's that THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. Yes, some are more girly, some are more inclined to sleep around, some go to church, and so forth.

But when it comes down to it, they are all the same. Give ANY woman the right opportunity with someone she perceives as BETTER than you, and she won't hesitate to leave your ass high and dry. That's the way it is. If you believe otherwise you are simply deluding yourself thinking one day you will find your "princess" the same as women seek their "knight".

She ain't out there homie, so while you're searching for someone you can get along with who is LEAST likely to leave you high and dry anytime soon, you might as well sow your oats. The first time you invest yourself into something YOU THINK is a sure thing just to end up with the short end of the stick you will wish you had taken advantage of opportunities instead of letting life pass you by.

Am I a quitter? No.

Do I hate women? Quite the opposite.

Have I taken a few beatings and learned the difference between the way I think the world SHOULD be and the way it actually IS? I sure have!

Like it or not, everyone is out for themselves. For women this manifests itself in a manner that keeps them on a constant search for a better man. And if they find him it doesn't matter how many times she has told you "I love you" or otherwise proven her undying devotion, you'll end up being thrown to the scrap pile wishing you hadn't been so goddamn naive.
 

sAxyguy83

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I'm sure you'll call me naive for this, but I still believe that at least some people still have morals and values. I agree wholeheartedly that the vast majority of people are stupid, greedy, self-centered, and amoralistic. However, not all people are like that. There are girls out there that, if they really do care about you and aren't just bull****ting you, will be faithful. Are they tempted at times to cheat? Of course! Does everyone have a desire for physical pleasure? You bet! It is our ability to rise above primitive biological impulses that separates us from all other life forms on the planet. Granted, most people don't make use of this ability, but it is present.

There are few, if any, valid generalizations that can be made about women. That category is about limited to "All women are human females." To say that ALL women will be unfaithful is like saying that ALL men will - and, speaking at least for myself, I know the latter statement to be false. Try to see past disillusionment to the good that has been there all along.
 

joe_ex

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Reality strikes

Women mean more to me than sex.....since I wouldn't base a relationship entirely on the act of sex. Sex is great don't get me wrong, but a relationship embodies much more deeper aspects. In conclusion, sex complements a relationship but its not its engine.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Deep Dish

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Narcissitic selfishness is at heart of human nature. In this light, people are born inherently 'evil', and learn to act 'good', but their 'evil' never leaves them, it's always a part of their nature, they just may not act it out to varying degree. Even supposedly selfless people are selfish.

“You do not have to think terribly deeply to realize that the so-called virtues of compassion, sympathy, and love, are all 100% selfish.

We pleasure ourselves in three ways with the drug of compassion. Firstly, our ego gets a boost by its good conscience. Secondly, the ego feels secure in the thought that compassion is an investment which will be returned. And thirdly, if one should try to help others, there is the sympathetic response of feeling in oneself the benefit one imagines the other person to feel.” - Kevin Solway


"A capitalist is someone who selfishly wants more than others. A socialist is someone who selfishly doesn't want others to have more than himself." - Kevin Solway


STR8UP wasn't saying all women would necessarily cheat (in the physical sense), but that she will at least dump yo ass and swing over to that next guy who provides more than you; and you'd probably never know it, neither dumpee nor new guy. If you were a 'complete package', you'd have the least to worry about. I think I'm starting to see this all the time, with them desiring me to be that next guy. It's not hard. I have persisted to withhold, so far.

And here's the thing: it's either off or on, either they (seemingly) all want me or (seemingly) none of them. There's almost no middle ground. If women were so different, why do they act in unison?

Always remember, it's never about YOU, it's about what the woman gets in return. The same can be said of men, too. We don't actually fall in love with the person, rather what we get in return.

Should we not love all people equally and unreservedly? The grisly fact is, we love only for what we get in return. That is, we love what we get in return - we love happiness and happiness alone. Do you doubt me? Then ask yourself, do you ever love that which brings you unending pain and hardship?

Love is an attempt to redress the conflicts and unmet desires of childhood. Consequently, our loved one tends to be a composite of our family members. It is all to do with ego gratification. We do not love someone because of their goodness, but because they make us feel good. Thus, love comes before morality . . . and (conveniently) prevents it.” - Kevin Solway
 

sAxyguy83

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Am I the only one on this forum that still believes in Man's innate capability for good? Obviously, everyone has a darker side which is selfish, amoral, and generally evil. It is how much we allow this darker side to influence our thoughts and actions that determines how good or evil we become. The pleasure described from doing good things is, I think, similar to the pleasure one experiences by eating - the pleasure that comes from fulfilling a basic drive.

I don't deny that women will consider cheating on you or flat out dumping you. The actions of our minds is hardly under our complete control. I also don't deny that, if she finds a guy that's better for her than you are, she'll probably leave you for him. That's what many of us like to call "common sense". However, things change when two people form a profound emotional bond. Both are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the other, in some cases to the point where one is willing to die to protect the other.

My take on things is: If a relationship is truly healthy, and there is a strong emotional bond, and both members treat the other properly, both partners will be faithful, and will stay together as long as their bond remains intact. To my eyes, if a girl leaves you, then the relationship was headed for the dumpster anyway. I sincerely doubt that a girl will cheat on you or leave you if she really loves you and you treat her right, unless she's seriously ****ed up upstairs. If she leaves you, the failure lies at least in part with YOU. She may be a headcase, but chances are that the two of you didn't form a strong bond.

I am reminded of the saying "If you love something, let it go." If you truly care about her, then you should value her happiness above your own. If you put yourself first, she will and should dump your ass for a guy that treats her better.
 

sAxyguy83

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By the way, this Kevin Solway guy sounds like a royal pessimist.
 

iqqi

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Narcissitic selfishness is at heart of human nature. In this light, people are born inherently 'evil', and learn to act 'good', but their 'evil' never leaves them, it's always a part of their nature, they just may not act it out to varying degree. Even supposedly selfless people are selfish.
this is just philosophy. "philosophy...is the talk on a cereal box..."

i'm with u, saxyguy, couldn't say it better!
 

Bonhomme

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3 and 4 are not mutually exclusive ...

But I like 3 better. It's a more positive take on the matter.

It's all good. Nothing to stop me from having a bit of fun if there's no LTR happening.

In a good relationship, both people value each other's happiness. If everyone's a giver, who's to receive?
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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